Reclaiming the Sand
Page 69
“That’s so like you, Ellie. Always putting it on everyone else. Of course it’s my fault! Everything is always my fault!” Dania’s voice rose the more upset she became.
I took a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. Who thought those stupid breathing techniques I had learned in therapy all those years ago would finally come in handy.
“Look. Just come over to my apartment. I have some shit to do there and I’d like to see you. I think we both have things that need to be said,” I said, trying to be as placating and reasonable as possible.
Dania snorted and I heard her covering the phone and the sound of muffled murmurs. Then she was back.
“Fine. Craig said he could drop me off there in a few,” she said and hung up.
It hadn’t taken her long to move on from Stu.
I rolled my eyes heavenward, knowing that this was most likely going to be just as horrible as I imagined.
My apartment was a mess but I didn’t have the time or patience to give it the proper clean it needed. I straightened the thin pillows on the couch and washed a few of the dishes that were piled up in the sink.
I went into my bedroom and located the one suitcase I owned at the back of my closet. Julie had gotten it for me when I was a kid. She had wanted me to have something that was mine that I could take with me to a new foster home. At the time I thought it was so pretty. It used to be bright pink with purple polka dots. I remembered the handle had been curved and covered it sparkles. To a seven-year-old girl, it was the coolest thing ever.
Nowadays it was a sad reminder of a horrible childhood. The purple polka dots were long since faded. They were an off colored beige standing out against a barely pink background. The side had split open years ago and I had to staple it shut. The handle had split and I had fixed it with duct tape.
It was used and beat up but it would work. If I planned to go away to school, I’d have to invest in some new luggage. The thought was equal parts exciting and terrifying.
I pulled out some panties and socks and shoved them into the suitcase. I slammed the drawer closed, knocking over several of the tiny sculptures sitting on top. I set them upright and smiled.
Flynn had made these. I had unknowingly been cherishing small pieces of him all this time and hadn’t realized it. It was beautiful and perfect and reaffirmed my belief that being with him was right.
I heard my front door open and close with an angry bang.
Dania was here.
Let the drama begin.
“Ellie!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
I took a deep breath; I was doing that a lot lately, and composed myself so I could deal with her without ripping her hair out.
“Back here!” I called back.
I could hear Dania’s furious stomps as she headed back to my bedroom. A few seconds later, she was filling the doorway with her expanding girth. She looked tired and haggard. Her normally healthy, shiny hair was dull and lifeless. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was ashen.
“Hey,” I said, trying for a small smile.
Dania didn’t return it. She looked unhappy and close to homicidal, as I had ever seen her.
“Well, you wanted me here. Here I am. What the f**k do you want to say?” She was instantly combative. I had known she’d be like that. I had prepared for it. I was an old hat at dealing with her myriad of moods and temper tantrums. But I realized my patience for her endless nastiness had disappeared. I had asked her over hoping to clear the air between us. Seeing her aggressive defensiveness I knew that wouldn’t happen.
This would go either of two ways. I would either have to roll over and show her my belly. Tell her I was wrong and grovel for her forgiveness. Or I could stand firm and watch as a ten year old friendship crumpled for good.
And I wasn’t in the mood for groveling.
“You can come in you know,” I replied breezily.
Dania eyed me warily but took a step into my room. She looked at my suitcase on the bed and the clothes I was putting in it.
“Going somewhere?” she asked.
“Yeah, going to the beach for a few days,” I said, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she sat down on the edge of my bed, shoving my suitcase to make room.
“With the freak?” she spat out.
“With Flynn, yes,” I answered coldly.
“I can’t believe you’d actually spend time with that waste. What’s wrong with you?” she sneered.
I grabbed a handful of shirts and crossed over to the bed where she was sitting and placed them in my suitcase. Dania grabbed one of my nicer sweaters and curled her lip.
“What’s the point of looking nice? It’s not like he’s smart enough to realize the effort,” Dania said nastily.
I yanked the sweater away from her and folded it back up.
“Okay, let’s do this, Dania. You’re pissed. You think I’ve betrayed you or something. Which is stupid. So what, I’m dating Flynn! What does that have to do with you?” I demanded.
Dania glared at me. “It’s has to do with me because I was the one that went to visit you every single day at the gross juvenile detention facility, where you were because of that f**king freak! It’s my goddamned business because we were making plans! You said you’d help me out and get an apartment with me, but I’m guessing that’s off the table now that you’re with Flynn.” She said his name like a dirty word.
“And you have betrayed me, Ellie! Because you didn’t tell me anything! You didn’t tell me what was going on! I thought we were friends. Best friends. And you kept something huge from me! That’s f**ked up and wrong!”
I took a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. Who thought those stupid breathing techniques I had learned in therapy all those years ago would finally come in handy.
“Look. Just come over to my apartment. I have some shit to do there and I’d like to see you. I think we both have things that need to be said,” I said, trying to be as placating and reasonable as possible.
Dania snorted and I heard her covering the phone and the sound of muffled murmurs. Then she was back.
“Fine. Craig said he could drop me off there in a few,” she said and hung up.
It hadn’t taken her long to move on from Stu.
I rolled my eyes heavenward, knowing that this was most likely going to be just as horrible as I imagined.
My apartment was a mess but I didn’t have the time or patience to give it the proper clean it needed. I straightened the thin pillows on the couch and washed a few of the dishes that were piled up in the sink.
I went into my bedroom and located the one suitcase I owned at the back of my closet. Julie had gotten it for me when I was a kid. She had wanted me to have something that was mine that I could take with me to a new foster home. At the time I thought it was so pretty. It used to be bright pink with purple polka dots. I remembered the handle had been curved and covered it sparkles. To a seven-year-old girl, it was the coolest thing ever.
Nowadays it was a sad reminder of a horrible childhood. The purple polka dots were long since faded. They were an off colored beige standing out against a barely pink background. The side had split open years ago and I had to staple it shut. The handle had split and I had fixed it with duct tape.
It was used and beat up but it would work. If I planned to go away to school, I’d have to invest in some new luggage. The thought was equal parts exciting and terrifying.
I pulled out some panties and socks and shoved them into the suitcase. I slammed the drawer closed, knocking over several of the tiny sculptures sitting on top. I set them upright and smiled.
Flynn had made these. I had unknowingly been cherishing small pieces of him all this time and hadn’t realized it. It was beautiful and perfect and reaffirmed my belief that being with him was right.
I heard my front door open and close with an angry bang.
Dania was here.
Let the drama begin.
“Ellie!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.
I took a deep breath; I was doing that a lot lately, and composed myself so I could deal with her without ripping her hair out.
“Back here!” I called back.
I could hear Dania’s furious stomps as she headed back to my bedroom. A few seconds later, she was filling the doorway with her expanding girth. She looked tired and haggard. Her normally healthy, shiny hair was dull and lifeless. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was ashen.
“Hey,” I said, trying for a small smile.
Dania didn’t return it. She looked unhappy and close to homicidal, as I had ever seen her.
“Well, you wanted me here. Here I am. What the f**k do you want to say?” She was instantly combative. I had known she’d be like that. I had prepared for it. I was an old hat at dealing with her myriad of moods and temper tantrums. But I realized my patience for her endless nastiness had disappeared. I had asked her over hoping to clear the air between us. Seeing her aggressive defensiveness I knew that wouldn’t happen.
This would go either of two ways. I would either have to roll over and show her my belly. Tell her I was wrong and grovel for her forgiveness. Or I could stand firm and watch as a ten year old friendship crumpled for good.
And I wasn’t in the mood for groveling.
“You can come in you know,” I replied breezily.
Dania eyed me warily but took a step into my room. She looked at my suitcase on the bed and the clothes I was putting in it.
“Going somewhere?” she asked.
“Yeah, going to the beach for a few days,” I said, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she sat down on the edge of my bed, shoving my suitcase to make room.
“With the freak?” she spat out.
“With Flynn, yes,” I answered coldly.
“I can’t believe you’d actually spend time with that waste. What’s wrong with you?” she sneered.
I grabbed a handful of shirts and crossed over to the bed where she was sitting and placed them in my suitcase. Dania grabbed one of my nicer sweaters and curled her lip.
“What’s the point of looking nice? It’s not like he’s smart enough to realize the effort,” Dania said nastily.
I yanked the sweater away from her and folded it back up.
“Okay, let’s do this, Dania. You’re pissed. You think I’ve betrayed you or something. Which is stupid. So what, I’m dating Flynn! What does that have to do with you?” I demanded.
Dania glared at me. “It’s has to do with me because I was the one that went to visit you every single day at the gross juvenile detention facility, where you were because of that f**king freak! It’s my goddamned business because we were making plans! You said you’d help me out and get an apartment with me, but I’m guessing that’s off the table now that you’re with Flynn.” She said his name like a dirty word.
“And you have betrayed me, Ellie! Because you didn’t tell me anything! You didn’t tell me what was going on! I thought we were friends. Best friends. And you kept something huge from me! That’s f**ked up and wrong!”
