Reclaiming the Sand
Page 99
Flynn nodded. “So if I’m going to do something that scares me. So should you. That’s what you taught me. That I should still do the things that freak me out. Just because they freak me out. And that I’ll be okay. Better even. And so will you.”
Who was this rational guy?
“Don’t cry, Ellie!” Flynn said firmly and I wanted to scream at him. Why was he doing this? Now? After making me think we had a shot? I didn’t think Flynn was capable of such cruelty.
But then I realized what he was trying to say. And even though I felt my heart splinter, I knew that he wasn’t trying to break it. He was setting me free. Just as Dania had done.
Though I didn’t want him to let me go.
Not ever.
“I can’t do this without you, Flynn. Please. Just think about it!” I pleaded. And even though I felt selfish for saying it, it was true. He had become my strength. He held me up and kept me going. I wasn’t sure I could do this if he wasn’t beside me.
Flynn shook his head and he pulled himself off me. I thought he was trying to get some physical distance and was surprised when he pulled me into his lap.
“You can do this. And you will. I can’t go with you. I can’t leave Wellsburg. I have things to do here. This is my home. This is where I’m making my life. And it’s not your home anymore. You want to go away. You want to leave. And that makes me sad. But I’m happy too. Because you will be going to school and that’s something you want to do. And I’ll be here if you ever want to come back.”
“Can’t your home be with me?” I shook in his arms.
Flynn ran his nose along my hair. “You need to make a home out there first,” was all he said and I knew his mind was made up. And when Flynn made up his mind, there was no changing it.
And a tiny part of me that wasn’t being drowned by my grief, understood what he was doing. I needed to have the opportunity to create a life of my own. Without baggage. Without people and circumstances tying me down.
What Flynn didn’t understand was he would never be my baggage. He’s the one that took all of it away.
“Won’t you miss me?” I asked, sounding like a child. But I couldn’t help it. I knew that Flynn needed to stay. And that I needed to go. I wish just for once the universe would allow us to be together the way we were supposed to be.
But maybe that wasn’t our fate.
Some people came into your life and they changed it completely and then they slipped out of it again before you could grab ahold of them.
And their presence motivates you and strengthens you and devastates you all at the same time.
“I missed you after my house burned down. I missed you after we came back from the beach and you stopped talking to me. And I’ll miss you when you go to school. But I know that one day I won’t need to miss you anymore because you’ll come back and find me again.”
“I will?” I asked, laying my cheek on his chest and hearing the rhythmic thump of his heart beneath me. It was sure and steady, just like him. And it loved me completely.
“You will. Because you’ll miss me too.” Flynn kissed the top of my head and then we were quiet. And just like always the silence said everything that words couldn’t.
I was determined that my fate would bring me back to him.
There was no other option.
As Flynn held me, my tears dried up, my grief subsided and I was left with only joy.
And when the time came for me to leave, I was no longer broken.
I was whole.
Epilogue
-Ellie-
Many years later…
I left Wellsburg, West Virginia. My car loaded with the few worldly items I possessed. It wasn’t much. A few clothes. My old tattered suitcase.
And Flynn’s sculptures.
I drove to Maryland and started school. My future dawning bright and full.
I was scared.
I was nervous.
I doubted myself every day.
But Flynn never let me give up.
He gave me the strength to keep on going.
So I stayed in Maryland.
And he stayed in West Virginia.
We were separated by miles but had never been closer.
People who shared a connection like ours were never that far apart.
We missed each other every second.
Until the day came and we didn’t have to miss each other any more.
Because I went back to Wellsburg and found him again, just as he knew I would.
And then our story truly began…
THE BEGINNING…
Who was this rational guy?
“Don’t cry, Ellie!” Flynn said firmly and I wanted to scream at him. Why was he doing this? Now? After making me think we had a shot? I didn’t think Flynn was capable of such cruelty.
But then I realized what he was trying to say. And even though I felt my heart splinter, I knew that he wasn’t trying to break it. He was setting me free. Just as Dania had done.
Though I didn’t want him to let me go.
Not ever.
“I can’t do this without you, Flynn. Please. Just think about it!” I pleaded. And even though I felt selfish for saying it, it was true. He had become my strength. He held me up and kept me going. I wasn’t sure I could do this if he wasn’t beside me.
Flynn shook his head and he pulled himself off me. I thought he was trying to get some physical distance and was surprised when he pulled me into his lap.
“You can do this. And you will. I can’t go with you. I can’t leave Wellsburg. I have things to do here. This is my home. This is where I’m making my life. And it’s not your home anymore. You want to go away. You want to leave. And that makes me sad. But I’m happy too. Because you will be going to school and that’s something you want to do. And I’ll be here if you ever want to come back.”
“Can’t your home be with me?” I shook in his arms.
Flynn ran his nose along my hair. “You need to make a home out there first,” was all he said and I knew his mind was made up. And when Flynn made up his mind, there was no changing it.
And a tiny part of me that wasn’t being drowned by my grief, understood what he was doing. I needed to have the opportunity to create a life of my own. Without baggage. Without people and circumstances tying me down.
What Flynn didn’t understand was he would never be my baggage. He’s the one that took all of it away.
“Won’t you miss me?” I asked, sounding like a child. But I couldn’t help it. I knew that Flynn needed to stay. And that I needed to go. I wish just for once the universe would allow us to be together the way we were supposed to be.
But maybe that wasn’t our fate.
Some people came into your life and they changed it completely and then they slipped out of it again before you could grab ahold of them.
And their presence motivates you and strengthens you and devastates you all at the same time.
“I missed you after my house burned down. I missed you after we came back from the beach and you stopped talking to me. And I’ll miss you when you go to school. But I know that one day I won’t need to miss you anymore because you’ll come back and find me again.”
“I will?” I asked, laying my cheek on his chest and hearing the rhythmic thump of his heart beneath me. It was sure and steady, just like him. And it loved me completely.
“You will. Because you’ll miss me too.” Flynn kissed the top of my head and then we were quiet. And just like always the silence said everything that words couldn’t.
I was determined that my fate would bring me back to him.
There was no other option.
As Flynn held me, my tears dried up, my grief subsided and I was left with only joy.
And when the time came for me to leave, I was no longer broken.
I was whole.
Epilogue
-Ellie-
Many years later…
I left Wellsburg, West Virginia. My car loaded with the few worldly items I possessed. It wasn’t much. A few clothes. My old tattered suitcase.
And Flynn’s sculptures.
I drove to Maryland and started school. My future dawning bright and full.
I was scared.
I was nervous.
I doubted myself every day.
But Flynn never let me give up.
He gave me the strength to keep on going.
So I stayed in Maryland.
And he stayed in West Virginia.
We were separated by miles but had never been closer.
People who shared a connection like ours were never that far apart.
We missed each other every second.
Until the day came and we didn’t have to miss each other any more.
Because I went back to Wellsburg and found him again, just as he knew I would.
And then our story truly began…
THE BEGINNING…
