Red Hot Reunion
Page 29
After last night, she’d nearly convinced himself that they were moving beyond pure sex into a more emotional bond. Like the one they’d had back in college. Obviously, she’d been mistaken.
Still, that was what she had signed up for and since she wasn’t ready to leave yet, she refused to betray her disillusionment.
“Cancel your appointment,” she whispered. “Stay here with me.”
But evidently, Jason had a heck of a lot more willpower than she did. And was a great deal more committed to his career than she was, considering she’d dropped her business like a hot sack of coal with barely a second thought.
“Sorry, babe,” he said, dropping her back to the bed rather unceremoniously.
She tried not to feel hurt by how easily he could shove away his need for her. After all, hadn’t she burst into his world unannounced two days ago? What right did she have to claim his time wholly and
completely?
And hadn’t he already given her so much pleasure?
“You’re right,” she said, pulling the covers up over her bare br**sts in an effort to regain some control.
“You need to take care of business. And so do I.”
He turned to her, his hand on the doorknob. “Aren’t you on vacation?”
She bit her lip guiltily. “Not exactly.”
Jason frowned, but didn’t ask for clarification. On the one hand Emma was relieved that she didn’t have to explain herself. But at the same time, she hated that he didn’t care enough to ask.
“I’ll call you tonight.”
Emma’s smile returned.I’ll call you tonight was exactly the kind of thing a boyfriend would say, rather than a part-time lover who couldn’t wait to get her out of his hair. “Great!” she chirped. “Have a fantastic meeting.”
He closed the door behind him and she propped the pillows behind her back, enjoying the view out the French doors. She could lie here all day doing nothing.
Only, she couldn’t. Because lying around eating bonbons wasn’t her thing. She was a worker, a doer, and now that she knew Jason was going to be busy all day, now that he’d reminded her that work needed to be done, she already felt lost. Empty-handed. They’d been tourists yesterday and it had been the most wonderful day of her life. The thought of venturing out to wineries, to galleries, to shops without him felt impossibly lonely. But she couldn’t just sit around his house all day either, waiting for him to come back and make everything okay.
A girl could only fool herself for so long. Real life awaited and the best way to start her day was to check her voice mail and e-mail in Jason’s tidy home office. She did have clients who depended on her, after all, and even if she was busy running away from her life, she acknowledged that it wasn’t exactly fair for her to run away from their business affairs as well.
Five minutes later, Emma was knee-deep in more than a hundred messages that had accumulated since Saturday night. Oh God, what had she been thinking? She couldn’t just turn off a switch and escape. Not when all these people needed her, depended on her. Just because she’d had two fantastic days and three hot nights with Jason didn’t mean that she wasn’t still stuck. Because she was.
Depressed again, her eyes blurring as she read and re-read the same e-mail, she pushed back from the desk and hit the off button on Jason’s computer.
No! She couldn’t go back to her awful life. Not yet. Not when she’d barely begun to live again.
She dialed Kate’s cell phone and walked outside, hoping the warm sun and her best friend could put her to rights again.
“Emma, honey, are you still in Napa?” Kate asked.
“I am,” she said, trying to sound normal and upbeat and failing miserably.
“What’s wrong?”
Emma’s throat grew tight. “Jason’s been wonderful. Amazing. I feel so free in Napa. You wouldn’t believe the people we met yesterday. The vintners, the painters, the farmers. Everyone is so happy here.
Living their passion.”
Everyone but me,she thought, the weight of her e-mails and voice mails and untold numbers of faxes piling up on her slim shoulders.
“It sounds amazing, Emma. Just what you needed, right? Just what you were hoping for.”
“Oh yes. I need it so badly.” Emma lowered her voice. “I’d completely forgotten what it’s like to have fun.” Knowing Kate would understand, on a whisper she added, “To be a passionate woman. To crave a man’s touch.”
“Don’t blame yourself, honey, with a husband like Steven how could you have possibly felt passion? Or craved his touch? Yuck.”
“But that’s just it. I do blame myself. I chose him. I chose my life.”
“So change it. Just like you’re doing right now.”
Emma shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Kate.”
“It is that simple. You screwed up in college. You know it. Jason knows it. Fine. But now you’ve got the chance to live the life you should have had all along.”
Emma insisted, “You wouldn’t believe how many clients are trying to reach me regarding loans and refinances. My parents have left half a dozen messages. Who am I fooling? I’m never going to be able to change my life. Never.”
Kate snorted. “Do I need to come up there and smack some sense into you? Of course you can change your life. You already have. You’re in Napa, aren’t you? With Jason. This is only the beginning.”
Sensing her dismay, Marvin jogged over to her side and Emma sat down on a low rock wall to stroke his fur. Yet another thing she didn’t want to have to leave. Not just Jason, but his big silly dog too.
Kate took in her silence. “You’re not calling because you’re upset about your job, are you? It’s Jason, isn’t it?”
Emma could barely say the words aloud. “I’ve been throwing myself at him.” She waited for Kate’s condemnation, especially since her best friend had warned her to take it slow.
“Good for you.”
“Excuse me?”
Kate laughed. “It’s about time you joined the rest of us girls and gave in to the dark side. Women tend to throw themselves at hot guys. We can’t help ourselves.”
“It’s not a good thing, Kate!”
“Why the hell not? The sex is great, right?”
“Right.”
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, but you told me to take it slow.”
Still, that was what she had signed up for and since she wasn’t ready to leave yet, she refused to betray her disillusionment.
“Cancel your appointment,” she whispered. “Stay here with me.”
But evidently, Jason had a heck of a lot more willpower than she did. And was a great deal more committed to his career than she was, considering she’d dropped her business like a hot sack of coal with barely a second thought.
“Sorry, babe,” he said, dropping her back to the bed rather unceremoniously.
She tried not to feel hurt by how easily he could shove away his need for her. After all, hadn’t she burst into his world unannounced two days ago? What right did she have to claim his time wholly and
completely?
And hadn’t he already given her so much pleasure?
“You’re right,” she said, pulling the covers up over her bare br**sts in an effort to regain some control.
“You need to take care of business. And so do I.”
He turned to her, his hand on the doorknob. “Aren’t you on vacation?”
She bit her lip guiltily. “Not exactly.”
Jason frowned, but didn’t ask for clarification. On the one hand Emma was relieved that she didn’t have to explain herself. But at the same time, she hated that he didn’t care enough to ask.
“I’ll call you tonight.”
Emma’s smile returned.I’ll call you tonight was exactly the kind of thing a boyfriend would say, rather than a part-time lover who couldn’t wait to get her out of his hair. “Great!” she chirped. “Have a fantastic meeting.”
He closed the door behind him and she propped the pillows behind her back, enjoying the view out the French doors. She could lie here all day doing nothing.
Only, she couldn’t. Because lying around eating bonbons wasn’t her thing. She was a worker, a doer, and now that she knew Jason was going to be busy all day, now that he’d reminded her that work needed to be done, she already felt lost. Empty-handed. They’d been tourists yesterday and it had been the most wonderful day of her life. The thought of venturing out to wineries, to galleries, to shops without him felt impossibly lonely. But she couldn’t just sit around his house all day either, waiting for him to come back and make everything okay.
A girl could only fool herself for so long. Real life awaited and the best way to start her day was to check her voice mail and e-mail in Jason’s tidy home office. She did have clients who depended on her, after all, and even if she was busy running away from her life, she acknowledged that it wasn’t exactly fair for her to run away from their business affairs as well.
Five minutes later, Emma was knee-deep in more than a hundred messages that had accumulated since Saturday night. Oh God, what had she been thinking? She couldn’t just turn off a switch and escape. Not when all these people needed her, depended on her. Just because she’d had two fantastic days and three hot nights with Jason didn’t mean that she wasn’t still stuck. Because she was.
Depressed again, her eyes blurring as she read and re-read the same e-mail, she pushed back from the desk and hit the off button on Jason’s computer.
No! She couldn’t go back to her awful life. Not yet. Not when she’d barely begun to live again.
She dialed Kate’s cell phone and walked outside, hoping the warm sun and her best friend could put her to rights again.
“Emma, honey, are you still in Napa?” Kate asked.
“I am,” she said, trying to sound normal and upbeat and failing miserably.
“What’s wrong?”
Emma’s throat grew tight. “Jason’s been wonderful. Amazing. I feel so free in Napa. You wouldn’t believe the people we met yesterday. The vintners, the painters, the farmers. Everyone is so happy here.
Living their passion.”
Everyone but me,she thought, the weight of her e-mails and voice mails and untold numbers of faxes piling up on her slim shoulders.
“It sounds amazing, Emma. Just what you needed, right? Just what you were hoping for.”
“Oh yes. I need it so badly.” Emma lowered her voice. “I’d completely forgotten what it’s like to have fun.” Knowing Kate would understand, on a whisper she added, “To be a passionate woman. To crave a man’s touch.”
“Don’t blame yourself, honey, with a husband like Steven how could you have possibly felt passion? Or craved his touch? Yuck.”
“But that’s just it. I do blame myself. I chose him. I chose my life.”
“So change it. Just like you’re doing right now.”
Emma shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Kate.”
“It is that simple. You screwed up in college. You know it. Jason knows it. Fine. But now you’ve got the chance to live the life you should have had all along.”
Emma insisted, “You wouldn’t believe how many clients are trying to reach me regarding loans and refinances. My parents have left half a dozen messages. Who am I fooling? I’m never going to be able to change my life. Never.”
Kate snorted. “Do I need to come up there and smack some sense into you? Of course you can change your life. You already have. You’re in Napa, aren’t you? With Jason. This is only the beginning.”
Sensing her dismay, Marvin jogged over to her side and Emma sat down on a low rock wall to stroke his fur. Yet another thing she didn’t want to have to leave. Not just Jason, but his big silly dog too.
Kate took in her silence. “You’re not calling because you’re upset about your job, are you? It’s Jason, isn’t it?”
Emma could barely say the words aloud. “I’ve been throwing myself at him.” She waited for Kate’s condemnation, especially since her best friend had warned her to take it slow.
“Good for you.”
“Excuse me?”
Kate laughed. “It’s about time you joined the rest of us girls and gave in to the dark side. Women tend to throw themselves at hot guys. We can’t help ourselves.”
“It’s not a good thing, Kate!”
“Why the hell not? The sex is great, right?”
“Right.”
“You’re having fun, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, but you told me to take it slow.”
