Redemptive
Page 12
My eyes darted to his.
“Is everything okay?”
I nodded, my mouth dry.
“You know it’s three in the morning, right?”
“Sorry.” I turned and started to leave when he caught my arm.
“No. It’s fine. Are you okay? Do you need something?”
I faced him and kept my head lowered, trying to hide the heat in my cheeks. “It’s just that earlier, Tiny said you had something to tell me?” He didn’t respond, and when I finally looked up, his eyes were fixed on his hand on my arm. “Nate? Or should I call you Boss?”
“Nate’s fine,” he said, distracted. He blinked once, finally coming to, and released his hold. He used the same hand to comb through his hair. “I had to tell you that…” he trailed off, going back to his room and sitting on the bed, motioning for me to sit next to him. The room was dark, the only light source coming from a lamp at the end of the hallway. “Actually,” he said, “before we talk about that, I wanted to speak to you about something else.”
I gripped the edge of his mattress and fought to keep my adrenaline in check. Given my past, I wasn’t a huge fan of sitting in dark rooms with strangers. “Can you turn a light on? I don’t—”
“Sure,” he cut in, reaching over and switching on a lamp on his nightstand. When he turned to me, his eyes were so piercing I had to look away. But where I looked wasn’t much better. “And maybe put on a shirt?”
“It’s like a hundred degrees,” he said with a sigh.
“Oh yeah…”
He turned his entire body to face me. “I’m sorry for my reaction earlier. I hate that you’d think that I’d want that from you. I’m not like that, Bailey.”
I held my breath as he continued to speak. “I get you’ve had a shitty life, and you’ve probably been let down by a lot of people you trusted. But you saying that—well, it made me feel like shit, to be honest. You kind of put me in the same category as Pauly and PJ.”
I choked on a gasp, my eyes closing as my heart beat out of my chest. “I’m sorry,” I struggled to say through the sob trying to escape. I pushed it down like I always did, and opened my eyes to see him watching me intently. “I know you’re not like them at all.”
“Good,” he said, nodding slowly. “I’m glad you know that, and I need you to remember that because you’re going to be here a while and you and me—we can’t live like this—you in fear of me, and me not knowing how to be around you.”
I returned his nod.
He looked down and blew out a breath. “Someone found Pauly’s body, Bailey.”
“And they know it was me?” I rushed out, panic clear in my voice.
“No,” he said quickly, placing a hand on my bare leg.
I tensed beneath his touch, but if he noticed, he didn’t show it.
“No, that’s not what our problem is.”
“So what’s wrong then?”
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “The problem is they only found one body. I’d told some very important people that you were there with him. Unless, through some miracle, there’s a dead girl your age matching your description down there… people are just going to get more suspicious.”
“So I have to hide for longer?”
“Yeah. We kind of both do, Bailey. Because it’s not just you they’re after now. PJ, the rest of the guys, they’re already questioning me. It’s just going to get worse. They’re sitting back, watching me, waiting for me to fuck up so they can prove you’re still alive. It’s not just about killing you for taking Pauly’s life anymore… now it’s about family, and integrity, and honor. And the fact that I didn’t give a shit about any of those things when I decided not to—”
“Kill me?” I finished for him.
Licking his lips, he nodded slowly.
A million thoughts raced through my head.
He stood up and leaned on the wall opposite me, then ran his thumb along his bottom lip. “The entire situation’s fucked up.” His gaze dropped to the floor.
Mine did the same.
Seconds of silence passed.
“I don’t know what to do,” he finally said.
I didn’t either.
“I always know what to do,” he mumbled, but he wasn’t talking to me.
“We could—” I started, but cut myself off when I realized how stupid I’d sound.
“We could what, Bailey?”
I felt him approach and the next moment, he was sitting next to me, his bare arm brushing mine.
I turned to him. “Maybe we could get to know each other a little bit? That way it might not be so awkward when we’re around each other.”
He smiled, and my stomach flipped in response. “That could work.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile,” I blurted.
He arched an eyebrow.
I looked away.
“I should go,” I told him, standing up. “I didn’t realize it was so late when I came in, and I’m sure you’re tired.”
He shook his head, his eyes wide as he looked up at me. “I’m wired now. I must’ve fallen asleep early.” He reached over for his phone on the nightstand.
“You know you don’t have any clocks in the house,” I told him.
His gaze trailed back to mine. “I don’t?”
I shook my head. “I’ve searched every room in the house, and I can’t find a way to tell the time.”
He froze, his face pale and his eyes narrowed. “Every room?”
I nodded slowly, afraid I’d done something wrong.
“Including the one at the end of the hallway?”
I nodded again. “I’m sorry,” I said, but it came out a question.
He set his phone back on the nightstand and lay down on top of the covers. I watched him for a few seconds as he stared up at the ceiling, his bare chest rising and falling. “Don’t go in there again, Bailey.” Even though his voice was quiet, I heard the threat in his words.
“Okay,” I whispered, stepping toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To let you sleep.”
He moved his hands behind his head, his eyes never leaving the ceiling. “Are you tired?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “Not really.”
He sat up and moved until his back rested on the headboard. “What happened to you, Bailey?”
With a nervous swallow, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“How did you end up where you were that night? I don’t just mean in the field, I mean in your life, Bailey.”
“It’s a long story, Nate.”
He pushed off the headboard and motioned for me to sit back down. “I have all night.”
I sat down at the foot of the bed, facing him with my legs crossed.
“So?”
“Before I tell you, can I ask you a question first?”
“Sure,” he said, moving closer and copying my seated position.
“Do you use what you sell?”
His eyes seemed to widen slightly, surprised at my question. “No. I mean, I have in the past, mainly to test, but I don’t make a habit of it.”
“Is everything okay?”
I nodded, my mouth dry.
“You know it’s three in the morning, right?”
“Sorry.” I turned and started to leave when he caught my arm.
“No. It’s fine. Are you okay? Do you need something?”
I faced him and kept my head lowered, trying to hide the heat in my cheeks. “It’s just that earlier, Tiny said you had something to tell me?” He didn’t respond, and when I finally looked up, his eyes were fixed on his hand on my arm. “Nate? Or should I call you Boss?”
“Nate’s fine,” he said, distracted. He blinked once, finally coming to, and released his hold. He used the same hand to comb through his hair. “I had to tell you that…” he trailed off, going back to his room and sitting on the bed, motioning for me to sit next to him. The room was dark, the only light source coming from a lamp at the end of the hallway. “Actually,” he said, “before we talk about that, I wanted to speak to you about something else.”
I gripped the edge of his mattress and fought to keep my adrenaline in check. Given my past, I wasn’t a huge fan of sitting in dark rooms with strangers. “Can you turn a light on? I don’t—”
“Sure,” he cut in, reaching over and switching on a lamp on his nightstand. When he turned to me, his eyes were so piercing I had to look away. But where I looked wasn’t much better. “And maybe put on a shirt?”
“It’s like a hundred degrees,” he said with a sigh.
“Oh yeah…”
He turned his entire body to face me. “I’m sorry for my reaction earlier. I hate that you’d think that I’d want that from you. I’m not like that, Bailey.”
I held my breath as he continued to speak. “I get you’ve had a shitty life, and you’ve probably been let down by a lot of people you trusted. But you saying that—well, it made me feel like shit, to be honest. You kind of put me in the same category as Pauly and PJ.”
I choked on a gasp, my eyes closing as my heart beat out of my chest. “I’m sorry,” I struggled to say through the sob trying to escape. I pushed it down like I always did, and opened my eyes to see him watching me intently. “I know you’re not like them at all.”
“Good,” he said, nodding slowly. “I’m glad you know that, and I need you to remember that because you’re going to be here a while and you and me—we can’t live like this—you in fear of me, and me not knowing how to be around you.”
I returned his nod.
He looked down and blew out a breath. “Someone found Pauly’s body, Bailey.”
“And they know it was me?” I rushed out, panic clear in my voice.
“No,” he said quickly, placing a hand on my bare leg.
I tensed beneath his touch, but if he noticed, he didn’t show it.
“No, that’s not what our problem is.”
“So what’s wrong then?”
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “The problem is they only found one body. I’d told some very important people that you were there with him. Unless, through some miracle, there’s a dead girl your age matching your description down there… people are just going to get more suspicious.”
“So I have to hide for longer?”
“Yeah. We kind of both do, Bailey. Because it’s not just you they’re after now. PJ, the rest of the guys, they’re already questioning me. It’s just going to get worse. They’re sitting back, watching me, waiting for me to fuck up so they can prove you’re still alive. It’s not just about killing you for taking Pauly’s life anymore… now it’s about family, and integrity, and honor. And the fact that I didn’t give a shit about any of those things when I decided not to—”
“Kill me?” I finished for him.
Licking his lips, he nodded slowly.
A million thoughts raced through my head.
He stood up and leaned on the wall opposite me, then ran his thumb along his bottom lip. “The entire situation’s fucked up.” His gaze dropped to the floor.
Mine did the same.
Seconds of silence passed.
“I don’t know what to do,” he finally said.
I didn’t either.
“I always know what to do,” he mumbled, but he wasn’t talking to me.
“We could—” I started, but cut myself off when I realized how stupid I’d sound.
“We could what, Bailey?”
I felt him approach and the next moment, he was sitting next to me, his bare arm brushing mine.
I turned to him. “Maybe we could get to know each other a little bit? That way it might not be so awkward when we’re around each other.”
He smiled, and my stomach flipped in response. “That could work.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile,” I blurted.
He arched an eyebrow.
I looked away.
“I should go,” I told him, standing up. “I didn’t realize it was so late when I came in, and I’m sure you’re tired.”
He shook his head, his eyes wide as he looked up at me. “I’m wired now. I must’ve fallen asleep early.” He reached over for his phone on the nightstand.
“You know you don’t have any clocks in the house,” I told him.
His gaze trailed back to mine. “I don’t?”
I shook my head. “I’ve searched every room in the house, and I can’t find a way to tell the time.”
He froze, his face pale and his eyes narrowed. “Every room?”
I nodded slowly, afraid I’d done something wrong.
“Including the one at the end of the hallway?”
I nodded again. “I’m sorry,” I said, but it came out a question.
He set his phone back on the nightstand and lay down on top of the covers. I watched him for a few seconds as he stared up at the ceiling, his bare chest rising and falling. “Don’t go in there again, Bailey.” Even though his voice was quiet, I heard the threat in his words.
“Okay,” I whispered, stepping toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“To let you sleep.”
He moved his hands behind his head, his eyes never leaving the ceiling. “Are you tired?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “Not really.”
He sat up and moved until his back rested on the headboard. “What happened to you, Bailey?”
With a nervous swallow, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“How did you end up where you were that night? I don’t just mean in the field, I mean in your life, Bailey.”
“It’s a long story, Nate.”
He pushed off the headboard and motioned for me to sit back down. “I have all night.”
I sat down at the foot of the bed, facing him with my legs crossed.
“So?”
“Before I tell you, can I ask you a question first?”
“Sure,” he said, moving closer and copying my seated position.
“Do you use what you sell?”
His eyes seemed to widen slightly, surprised at my question. “No. I mean, I have in the past, mainly to test, but I don’t make a habit of it.”
