Release Me
Page 66
I cock my head and look at him, because that is a load of bullshit. “And how exactly do you know all that about me? From watching me pose naked? From fucking me?”
“I see you, Nikki.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s because you’ve been looking for such a long time.”
His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“At Evelyn’s party, for one. You were so pissed at me for being Carl’s assistant. You gave a better rundown of my credentials than I could. How did you know so much about me? It wasn’t in my fellowship file. So how, Damien?”
“I’ve followed your academic career. I’ve talked with your professors. I’ve watched you blossom.”
“I—” He’s knocked me off kilter with the matter-of-fact nature of his confession. “But why?”
He says nothing.
“Damien, why?” I hear panic creep into my voice.
“Because I want you,” he finally says, and the heat in his voice curls through me so vividly that the panic fades and I have to force myself to concentrate. “I have since I met you at the pageant.”
My mind is spinning. “But—but why not say something back then?”
His small smile gives away nothing. “I can be a very patient man when the goal is worth waiting for.”
“I—” I don’t know what to say. My mind is spinning with questions. I want to ask why he’s so certain I’m worth it, but the best I can manage is, “Why me?”
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “I told you that, too. We’re kindred spirits. And you’re strong, Nikki. There’s a core of strength and confidence in you that’s damn sexy.”
I don’t meet his eyes. As he always does, he understood the heart of my question. “Have you not noticed the scars?” I ask. “I’m not strong, I’m weak.” And I can’t shake the fear that it’s because I’m weak that he wants me. Damien likes to be the one in control, after all.
“Weak?” He’s staring at me like I’ve gone a little crazy. “The hell you are. You’re not weak, Nikki. You’re powerful. You’re a survivor. When I hold you, I can feel the power in you. It’s like holding a live wire.”
He moves closer, then cups my face gently in his palm. “That’s why I want you, baby. I’m not weak, either. Why would I want a woman who is?”
I tremble. He sees in me what I find so attractive in him. Power. Confidence. Ability.
But are those really my traits, or is he only seeing the Nikki I show the world? Or is that Nikki part of me, too?
“You know so much about me, and I hardly know you,” I say. “Do you know this is the first time I’ve even seen your bedroom?”
“There’s not much to see.”
“That’s not the point.” I tilt my head to look up at him, and find his eyes fixed hard on my face.
“Nikki, I need to know that we’re okay.”
I have to fight not to nod. I so desperately want everything to be okay between me and Damien. But it’s going to take more than just wants and wishes. “Will you try?” I ask. “Try to share more with me?”
“I’ve shared more with you than I have with any woman,” he says.
I think about what he’s told me about his dad and his tennis career. “I know. I just—I just really want to know you. Does that make sense?” I don’t say that I know he has secrets in his past; it is those secrets I want him to share. I force myself to smile brightly. “Unlike some people, I don’t have the resources to find out on my own.”
“I thought you had Wikipedia,” he deadpans.
I make a face, and he bends down to kiss my nose. It’s playful and erotic and I realize that my fears have evaporated. Has he soothed them? Or am I simply unable to think clearly when I’m close to this man?
“It’s not easy for me,” he says, the intensity of his words surprising me. “I’ve never wanted to share the bits and pieces of my life before.”
“Do you want to now?” My words are a whisper, as if truly voicing them will kill that little bit of hope.
He strokes my cheek, making me tremble. “Yes.”
The relief that floods my body has a sensual, fiery quality. “Then you’ll try?”
“I’ll try,” he confirms. He steps into the bedroom, then holds out his hand. “Come with me.”
I put my hand in his, feeling the familiar tingle as my skin brushes his. He leads me to the window, then takes my hands and presses my palms against the glass. He stands behind me, his arms around my waist, the strong length of him tethering me to the earth as the darkening city opens up in front of me.
“Nikki.” His voice is low and needful, and my body responds automatically. My breasts feel heavy, my nipples are tight nubs. Between my thighs, my sex quivers. I want him. Dear God, how I want him.
“Why?” I whisper. “Why does everything fall away when I’m with you?”
“Because there’s nothing else,” he answers. “Nothing but you and me.”
He keeps one arm around my waist, but removes his other hand. He trails his fingers up my leg, then pushes up my skirt until it’s bunched around my waist and my bare ass is pressed against his trousers. I feel him against me, his erection straining against a piece of cloth that is undoubtedly worth more than my car.
“Please,” I say. I want it fast and hard. I want to feel the passion that burns between us. I want it to erase all the doubts I’d come in with until there truly is nothing but me and Damien and the world outside. “Please fuck me.”
“Oh, God, Nikki.” His voice is a groan, and I hear him fumbling with his trousers. I feel him shift behind me, and then the press of his erection like velvet steel against my bare rear. “Spread your legs.”
I do, and he slides his fingers over my cunt, stroking me, teasing me, making me writhe against him. But this isn’t what I want. I want him inside me. I want him now, and I tell him so.
He takes my hips and positions himself. I ease up onto my toes, then lower myself as he thrusts inside, but I have no control in this position. It’s all Damien, thrusting deep inside me, the power of his strokes pushing me forward. My palms are still on the glass, and with every stroke I’m pressed closer and closer, the wide void calling me, and nothing but Damien keeping me there.
I take one hand off the glass and reach down to stroke my clit as Damien fills me.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispers. The world is getting dark outside, and I can see our reflections now in the glass. I meet his eyes as the orgasm rockets through me, making me clench tight around him, drawing him out, making him come in deep, long spurts inside of me.
I gasp, shaken by the power of the orgasm, my body still pressed slightly forward, my hips still high, and Damien’s cock still deep inside me.
“Look outside,” Damien whispers. “What do you see?”
“It’s sunset,” I say playfully as I look over my shoulder to once again meet his eyes.
He presses his mouth to my ear, and there’s nothing playful in his tone. “Never, baby. Between us, the sun is never going down.”
“I see you, Nikki.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s because you’ve been looking for such a long time.”
His eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“At Evelyn’s party, for one. You were so pissed at me for being Carl’s assistant. You gave a better rundown of my credentials than I could. How did you know so much about me? It wasn’t in my fellowship file. So how, Damien?”
“I’ve followed your academic career. I’ve talked with your professors. I’ve watched you blossom.”
“I—” He’s knocked me off kilter with the matter-of-fact nature of his confession. “But why?”
He says nothing.
“Damien, why?” I hear panic creep into my voice.
“Because I want you,” he finally says, and the heat in his voice curls through me so vividly that the panic fades and I have to force myself to concentrate. “I have since I met you at the pageant.”
My mind is spinning. “But—but why not say something back then?”
His small smile gives away nothing. “I can be a very patient man when the goal is worth waiting for.”
“I—” I don’t know what to say. My mind is spinning with questions. I want to ask why he’s so certain I’m worth it, but the best I can manage is, “Why me?”
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “I told you that, too. We’re kindred spirits. And you’re strong, Nikki. There’s a core of strength and confidence in you that’s damn sexy.”
I don’t meet his eyes. As he always does, he understood the heart of my question. “Have you not noticed the scars?” I ask. “I’m not strong, I’m weak.” And I can’t shake the fear that it’s because I’m weak that he wants me. Damien likes to be the one in control, after all.
“Weak?” He’s staring at me like I’ve gone a little crazy. “The hell you are. You’re not weak, Nikki. You’re powerful. You’re a survivor. When I hold you, I can feel the power in you. It’s like holding a live wire.”
He moves closer, then cups my face gently in his palm. “That’s why I want you, baby. I’m not weak, either. Why would I want a woman who is?”
I tremble. He sees in me what I find so attractive in him. Power. Confidence. Ability.
But are those really my traits, or is he only seeing the Nikki I show the world? Or is that Nikki part of me, too?
“You know so much about me, and I hardly know you,” I say. “Do you know this is the first time I’ve even seen your bedroom?”
“There’s not much to see.”
“That’s not the point.” I tilt my head to look up at him, and find his eyes fixed hard on my face.
“Nikki, I need to know that we’re okay.”
I have to fight not to nod. I so desperately want everything to be okay between me and Damien. But it’s going to take more than just wants and wishes. “Will you try?” I ask. “Try to share more with me?”
“I’ve shared more with you than I have with any woman,” he says.
I think about what he’s told me about his dad and his tennis career. “I know. I just—I just really want to know you. Does that make sense?” I don’t say that I know he has secrets in his past; it is those secrets I want him to share. I force myself to smile brightly. “Unlike some people, I don’t have the resources to find out on my own.”
“I thought you had Wikipedia,” he deadpans.
I make a face, and he bends down to kiss my nose. It’s playful and erotic and I realize that my fears have evaporated. Has he soothed them? Or am I simply unable to think clearly when I’m close to this man?
“It’s not easy for me,” he says, the intensity of his words surprising me. “I’ve never wanted to share the bits and pieces of my life before.”
“Do you want to now?” My words are a whisper, as if truly voicing them will kill that little bit of hope.
He strokes my cheek, making me tremble. “Yes.”
The relief that floods my body has a sensual, fiery quality. “Then you’ll try?”
“I’ll try,” he confirms. He steps into the bedroom, then holds out his hand. “Come with me.”
I put my hand in his, feeling the familiar tingle as my skin brushes his. He leads me to the window, then takes my hands and presses my palms against the glass. He stands behind me, his arms around my waist, the strong length of him tethering me to the earth as the darkening city opens up in front of me.
“Nikki.” His voice is low and needful, and my body responds automatically. My breasts feel heavy, my nipples are tight nubs. Between my thighs, my sex quivers. I want him. Dear God, how I want him.
“Why?” I whisper. “Why does everything fall away when I’m with you?”
“Because there’s nothing else,” he answers. “Nothing but you and me.”
He keeps one arm around my waist, but removes his other hand. He trails his fingers up my leg, then pushes up my skirt until it’s bunched around my waist and my bare ass is pressed against his trousers. I feel him against me, his erection straining against a piece of cloth that is undoubtedly worth more than my car.
“Please,” I say. I want it fast and hard. I want to feel the passion that burns between us. I want it to erase all the doubts I’d come in with until there truly is nothing but me and Damien and the world outside. “Please fuck me.”
“Oh, God, Nikki.” His voice is a groan, and I hear him fumbling with his trousers. I feel him shift behind me, and then the press of his erection like velvet steel against my bare rear. “Spread your legs.”
I do, and he slides his fingers over my cunt, stroking me, teasing me, making me writhe against him. But this isn’t what I want. I want him inside me. I want him now, and I tell him so.
He takes my hips and positions himself. I ease up onto my toes, then lower myself as he thrusts inside, but I have no control in this position. It’s all Damien, thrusting deep inside me, the power of his strokes pushing me forward. My palms are still on the glass, and with every stroke I’m pressed closer and closer, the wide void calling me, and nothing but Damien keeping me there.
I take one hand off the glass and reach down to stroke my clit as Damien fills me.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispers. The world is getting dark outside, and I can see our reflections now in the glass. I meet his eyes as the orgasm rockets through me, making me clench tight around him, drawing him out, making him come in deep, long spurts inside of me.
I gasp, shaken by the power of the orgasm, my body still pressed slightly forward, my hips still high, and Damien’s cock still deep inside me.
“Look outside,” Damien whispers. “What do you see?”
“It’s sunset,” I say playfully as I look over my shoulder to once again meet his eyes.
He presses his mouth to my ear, and there’s nothing playful in his tone. “Never, baby. Between us, the sun is never going down.”
