Relent
Page 43
I wrestled with my decision whether to tell her or not. I’d actually been struggling with this decision for a few days and I’d come to the conclusion that for Evie and I to move forward, I had to tell her.
“It was Jeremy,” I started and then stopped, trying hard to get the words out right.
She frowned as she put the last dish in the fridge. Shutting the door, she came to me and asked, “What was Jeremy?”
Shit, I had to get this out right because I didn’t want her to end up hating him. I raked my fingers through my hair. “The reason I ended things with you. Jeremy convinced me that letting you get close to Storm would put you in danger, so I pulled away.”
She stared at me, shock evident on her face. “What? I don’t understand . . . why would he do that when he knew all I wanted was to be with you?”
Fuck.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her close. “Because he loved you as much as I do. Because he was the best friend either of us had, and he didn’t want you to get hurt from your involvement with the club. Don’t hate him, baby. He only wanted the best for you.”
Wide eyes looked up at me, and the pain I saw there gutted me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
When she burst into tears, I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close.
Her body shook with sobs and I pressed my lips to her forehead, trying to soothe her.
We stayed wrapped together for a long time, allowing the memories to come and the grief to flow through us. I fucking missed him, and I wondered if this shit would ever get easier. Not having him in my life had been hard but at least I’d always known he was close if I needed him. Now, he was fucking unreachable and that left a hole that would never be filled by anyone ever again. Not even Evie.
Eventually she pulled away and looked up at me through tear-soaked lashes. “I don’t hate him. I never could . . . I’m glad you told me, because it changes the way I feel about how we ended things.”
My brows pulled together. “How?”
She sucked in a breath and gave me a hesitant glance. “I thought you didn’t love me enough to fight for me, but now I can see you loved me so much that you walked away with unselfish motives. You’re such a good man, Kick, and you don’t even realise it.”
Her words washed over me like a soothing shot of love. They weren’t accurate words but I fucking needed them and let a sliver of them in. I let them wash away some of the grime that covered my heart.
“Fuck, all that wasted time,” I muttered.
Her eyes searched mine. “What made you change your mind after all this time?” she asked softly.
Moment of truth. I didn’t want to, but I had to speak honestly even if it hurt her. I’d decided that being completely open with her was the only way we’d survive this harsh world together. “You’ve got no clue how hard it was for me to stay away all these years. When you shut me out completely a year ago, it nearly fuckin’ destroyed me, baby. I’ve done a lot of things I never thought I would since then, not giving one shit about anything, because the only thing worth giving a shit about was lost to me. Some days I wake up disgusted with the person I’ve allowed myself to become. When Jeremy got in touch with me a couple of months ago, he told me he thought he was wrong. He said he’d watched you lose yourself over the last year and that he knew you and I should be together regardless of the club.”
“Why didn’t you come to me then?” I hated the sadness in her voice. She was right, though. I should have fixed this back then.
I looked at her with the regret that weighed me down. “I wasn’t convinced he was right. The person I’d become wasn’t someone I wanted you to know . . . but when he died . . . fuck, that fucked with my mind, Evie. I replayed everything over and over in my mind a million times, and then when I saw you at the funeral, I knew I had no choice.” I paused and gave her a small smile. “My mind had no choice because my heart had already made it.”
I’d barely gotten the words out when her arms came up around my neck and her mouth took over mine in a kiss I’d have paid all the money I had in the world for. It was a kiss that told me I’d made the right decision to be open with her and that I’d made the absolute right choice to fight for her.
It was a kiss that sealed my future.
Evie would be mine forever.
I’d make damn sure of it.
Chapter Thirteen
Evie
I cracked an eye open and squinted to read the bedside clock.
Seven am.
Shit, it was too early to be awake on a Saturday morning. I closed my eyes, intent on getting at least another two hours of sleep. Kick had other ideas. His hand curled around my waist and made its way to my breast.
His warm breath coasted over my neck a moment later when he murmured in my ear, “Morning, sweetheart.”
When his hand left my breast and started moving lower, I grabbed it and halted its progress. “No fucking way, Kick,” I muttered, “you fucked me raw last night, and I can’t even contemplate your hand or your dick anywhere near me today.”
He chuckled and rolled onto his back. “Well, fuck me,” he said, “you’ve never said no to me. Ever.”
I rolled over to face him and raised my brows. “That’s probably because you’ve never worked me like you did last night.” I nodded in the direction of his crotch. “That dick of yours has worn my pussy out and she needs a break today. And my hands and mouth are out of action too, so you’re just gonna have to take care of yourself, buddy.”
“It was Jeremy,” I started and then stopped, trying hard to get the words out right.
She frowned as she put the last dish in the fridge. Shutting the door, she came to me and asked, “What was Jeremy?”
Shit, I had to get this out right because I didn’t want her to end up hating him. I raked my fingers through my hair. “The reason I ended things with you. Jeremy convinced me that letting you get close to Storm would put you in danger, so I pulled away.”
She stared at me, shock evident on her face. “What? I don’t understand . . . why would he do that when he knew all I wanted was to be with you?”
Fuck.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her close. “Because he loved you as much as I do. Because he was the best friend either of us had, and he didn’t want you to get hurt from your involvement with the club. Don’t hate him, baby. He only wanted the best for you.”
Wide eyes looked up at me, and the pain I saw there gutted me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told her.
When she burst into tears, I wrapped her in my arms and pulled her close.
Her body shook with sobs and I pressed my lips to her forehead, trying to soothe her.
We stayed wrapped together for a long time, allowing the memories to come and the grief to flow through us. I fucking missed him, and I wondered if this shit would ever get easier. Not having him in my life had been hard but at least I’d always known he was close if I needed him. Now, he was fucking unreachable and that left a hole that would never be filled by anyone ever again. Not even Evie.
Eventually she pulled away and looked up at me through tear-soaked lashes. “I don’t hate him. I never could . . . I’m glad you told me, because it changes the way I feel about how we ended things.”
My brows pulled together. “How?”
She sucked in a breath and gave me a hesitant glance. “I thought you didn’t love me enough to fight for me, but now I can see you loved me so much that you walked away with unselfish motives. You’re such a good man, Kick, and you don’t even realise it.”
Her words washed over me like a soothing shot of love. They weren’t accurate words but I fucking needed them and let a sliver of them in. I let them wash away some of the grime that covered my heart.
“Fuck, all that wasted time,” I muttered.
Her eyes searched mine. “What made you change your mind after all this time?” she asked softly.
Moment of truth. I didn’t want to, but I had to speak honestly even if it hurt her. I’d decided that being completely open with her was the only way we’d survive this harsh world together. “You’ve got no clue how hard it was for me to stay away all these years. When you shut me out completely a year ago, it nearly fuckin’ destroyed me, baby. I’ve done a lot of things I never thought I would since then, not giving one shit about anything, because the only thing worth giving a shit about was lost to me. Some days I wake up disgusted with the person I’ve allowed myself to become. When Jeremy got in touch with me a couple of months ago, he told me he thought he was wrong. He said he’d watched you lose yourself over the last year and that he knew you and I should be together regardless of the club.”
“Why didn’t you come to me then?” I hated the sadness in her voice. She was right, though. I should have fixed this back then.
I looked at her with the regret that weighed me down. “I wasn’t convinced he was right. The person I’d become wasn’t someone I wanted you to know . . . but when he died . . . fuck, that fucked with my mind, Evie. I replayed everything over and over in my mind a million times, and then when I saw you at the funeral, I knew I had no choice.” I paused and gave her a small smile. “My mind had no choice because my heart had already made it.”
I’d barely gotten the words out when her arms came up around my neck and her mouth took over mine in a kiss I’d have paid all the money I had in the world for. It was a kiss that told me I’d made the right decision to be open with her and that I’d made the absolute right choice to fight for her.
It was a kiss that sealed my future.
Evie would be mine forever.
I’d make damn sure of it.
Chapter Thirteen
Evie
I cracked an eye open and squinted to read the bedside clock.
Seven am.
Shit, it was too early to be awake on a Saturday morning. I closed my eyes, intent on getting at least another two hours of sleep. Kick had other ideas. His hand curled around my waist and made its way to my breast.
His warm breath coasted over my neck a moment later when he murmured in my ear, “Morning, sweetheart.”
When his hand left my breast and started moving lower, I grabbed it and halted its progress. “No fucking way, Kick,” I muttered, “you fucked me raw last night, and I can’t even contemplate your hand or your dick anywhere near me today.”
He chuckled and rolled onto his back. “Well, fuck me,” he said, “you’ve never said no to me. Ever.”
I rolled over to face him and raised my brows. “That’s probably because you’ve never worked me like you did last night.” I nodded in the direction of his crotch. “That dick of yours has worn my pussy out and she needs a break today. And my hands and mouth are out of action too, so you’re just gonna have to take care of yourself, buddy.”
