Reluctantly Royal
Page 75
“The last thing I said to him was that he didn’t matter.” She sucked in one of those horrible body-shaking breaths.
“He knows better.” But maybe he had needed to hear that.
“He’s an awful man, but I love him. God, why do I love him?” Tears gathered in her eyes.
“He’s your father.” I kissed her head. “And you had some good times.”
“Yeah.” She shook her head. “Maybe this will be his bottom.”
“What do you mean?”
“Alcoholics have to hit bottom before they are ready to make a change. It’s different for each person, but maybe this was his.” She gave a wet chuckle. “I had a counselor explain that to me in school.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Thank you.” She sat up in my arms and turned to face me.
“For what?” I cocked my head to the side.
“For being here. For treating me like family.” She closed her eyes. “For being so good to Marty. For showing me that it was okay to let some people in.”
“Don’t you get it, yet?” I brushed the hair out of her face.
“What?” She opened her eyes.
“Meredith, you are my family.” I cupped her chin so that she couldn’t look away. “I don’t know when exactly it happened. Maybe it was when you yelled at me, or poked me in the chest. Maybe it was when I watched you stand up to your father, or how you take care of Marty. But sometime this week, I fell in love with you. You and Marty. You are my family.”
Tears spilled down her face and I had a moment of panic. Should I have not told her? Should I have waited? I looked around the tiny office and frowned. I guess I could have tried to find a more romantic place. Or maybe she didn’t love me and was now worried she was going to hurt my feelings.
“Meredith?” I brushed tears away from her cheek. “Say something. Anything. Even if it’s that you hate me. But please don’t cry.”
“I—I—I have been trying—to.” She hiccupped.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” My heart sank in my chest.
“Would . . . you . . . shut up?” She wiped at her nose.
“Okay.” I held up my hands in surrender.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how I was going to convince you that you love me, because I love you so much, so much, and I couldn’t stand the thought of walking away from you.” Her words fell out of her mouth like a flood. “I love you. I love the way you draw when you’re upset. I love that you say things without thinking. I love—love the way you treat Marty. I love how loyal you are and how you love your family. I just . . . I love you.”
She shook her head and started laughing.
“Is it funny?” I brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her nose. “Loving me is funny?”
“At the funeral, in the limo—I was laughing because that’s when I realized I loved you. That you had swooped in and stolen my heart in a matter of days.” She shook her head. “It’s just . . . funny. I was lost the first time you kissed me and all I could think was that it was a good thing I had a strict no-kissing motto. Because apparently you could steal my heart with just one good smack-a-roo.”
“Well, it was a really good kiss.” I smiled.
“Yes, it was.” She traced my jaw with her fingers. “And I want you to keep doing it for a long, long time.”
“I think that can be arranged.” In fact, I was already forming a plan. Leaning forward, I kissed her softly.
When I pulled back, she snuggled against my chest and promptly fell asleep. I shook my head when she started snoring and shifted her to a more comfortable position.
When the surgeon came to see us, I shook her gently to wake her up. She moved to the seat next to me and listened as he explained the surgery and told her that everything was going to be okay.
“His recovery won’t be swift, but I’ve seen worse.”
“He has a problem with alcohol.” Meredith sat up. “Is there a way to make sure his medicine is regulated?”
“Absolutely.” The surgeon nodded his head. “Detoxing and withdrawal will make his recovery more difficult, but still manageable. I’ll let the appropriate staff know. We can also have him set up to enter rehab when he’s ready.”
“Thank you.” She nodded her head. “When will he wake up?”
“Not for a while. You should go get some rest. One of the nurses will call you when he’s up.”
She chewed on her lip, and I knew she was trying to decide if she wanted to leave or not.
“I’m happy to stay,” Rachel said from the doorway. “I brought my knitting supplies with me and will be just fine.”
“I hate to ask you to do that.” Meredith frowned.
“You didn’t. I offered.” Rachel made a shooing gesture at us. “Go tuck your boy in. I’ll call you when something changes.”
I put my arm around Meredith’s shoulders and steered her out the door. “You need some real sleep.”
“You’re such a charmer, you know that?” She rolled her eyes. “Always telling me how tired I look.”
“Baby, you’re covered in blood but you’re still the most beautiful woman here.”
She laughed. “You need to get that panty-dropping book back out and study some more.”
“Nah. You like my awkwardness. You already told me. You can’t take it back now.” I pulled her closer against my side. Pride filled my chest as we walked to the car. Mine. She was mine. How the hell had I managed to get so lucky?
“He knows better.” But maybe he had needed to hear that.
“He’s an awful man, but I love him. God, why do I love him?” Tears gathered in her eyes.
“He’s your father.” I kissed her head. “And you had some good times.”
“Yeah.” She shook her head. “Maybe this will be his bottom.”
“What do you mean?”
“Alcoholics have to hit bottom before they are ready to make a change. It’s different for each person, but maybe this was his.” She gave a wet chuckle. “I had a counselor explain that to me in school.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Thank you.” She sat up in my arms and turned to face me.
“For what?” I cocked my head to the side.
“For being here. For treating me like family.” She closed her eyes. “For being so good to Marty. For showing me that it was okay to let some people in.”
“Don’t you get it, yet?” I brushed the hair out of her face.
“What?” She opened her eyes.
“Meredith, you are my family.” I cupped her chin so that she couldn’t look away. “I don’t know when exactly it happened. Maybe it was when you yelled at me, or poked me in the chest. Maybe it was when I watched you stand up to your father, or how you take care of Marty. But sometime this week, I fell in love with you. You and Marty. You are my family.”
Tears spilled down her face and I had a moment of panic. Should I have not told her? Should I have waited? I looked around the tiny office and frowned. I guess I could have tried to find a more romantic place. Or maybe she didn’t love me and was now worried she was going to hurt my feelings.
“Meredith?” I brushed tears away from her cheek. “Say something. Anything. Even if it’s that you hate me. But please don’t cry.”
“I—I—I have been trying—to.” She hiccupped.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” My heart sank in my chest.
“Would . . . you . . . shut up?” She wiped at her nose.
“Okay.” I held up my hands in surrender.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how I was going to convince you that you love me, because I love you so much, so much, and I couldn’t stand the thought of walking away from you.” Her words fell out of her mouth like a flood. “I love you. I love the way you draw when you’re upset. I love that you say things without thinking. I love—love the way you treat Marty. I love how loyal you are and how you love your family. I just . . . I love you.”
She shook her head and started laughing.
“Is it funny?” I brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her nose. “Loving me is funny?”
“At the funeral, in the limo—I was laughing because that’s when I realized I loved you. That you had swooped in and stolen my heart in a matter of days.” She shook her head. “It’s just . . . funny. I was lost the first time you kissed me and all I could think was that it was a good thing I had a strict no-kissing motto. Because apparently you could steal my heart with just one good smack-a-roo.”
“Well, it was a really good kiss.” I smiled.
“Yes, it was.” She traced my jaw with her fingers. “And I want you to keep doing it for a long, long time.”
“I think that can be arranged.” In fact, I was already forming a plan. Leaning forward, I kissed her softly.
When I pulled back, she snuggled against my chest and promptly fell asleep. I shook my head when she started snoring and shifted her to a more comfortable position.
When the surgeon came to see us, I shook her gently to wake her up. She moved to the seat next to me and listened as he explained the surgery and told her that everything was going to be okay.
“His recovery won’t be swift, but I’ve seen worse.”
“He has a problem with alcohol.” Meredith sat up. “Is there a way to make sure his medicine is regulated?”
“Absolutely.” The surgeon nodded his head. “Detoxing and withdrawal will make his recovery more difficult, but still manageable. I’ll let the appropriate staff know. We can also have him set up to enter rehab when he’s ready.”
“Thank you.” She nodded her head. “When will he wake up?”
“Not for a while. You should go get some rest. One of the nurses will call you when he’s up.”
She chewed on her lip, and I knew she was trying to decide if she wanted to leave or not.
“I’m happy to stay,” Rachel said from the doorway. “I brought my knitting supplies with me and will be just fine.”
“I hate to ask you to do that.” Meredith frowned.
“You didn’t. I offered.” Rachel made a shooing gesture at us. “Go tuck your boy in. I’ll call you when something changes.”
I put my arm around Meredith’s shoulders and steered her out the door. “You need some real sleep.”
“You’re such a charmer, you know that?” She rolled her eyes. “Always telling me how tired I look.”
“Baby, you’re covered in blood but you’re still the most beautiful woman here.”
She laughed. “You need to get that panty-dropping book back out and study some more.”
“Nah. You like my awkwardness. You already told me. You can’t take it back now.” I pulled her closer against my side. Pride filled my chest as we walked to the car. Mine. She was mine. How the hell had I managed to get so lucky?
