Resenting Me
Page 11
Oh hell. Our gaze shifts towards the door where I see this beautiful, black haired woman standing next to Braxxon while he stares at Winter. The questioning look in his eyes tells me that he really doesn’t want to do this, but that he probably still will. Winter and I turn our attention back to one another and what I see on her face breaks my damn heart.
“I can’t believe I did that, Lana. What is wrong with me?”
That one question guts me, and I reach over and embrace my best friend in a hug. I can’t believe I’ve been so damn cold towards her. I didn’t mean to be. It’s just that I feel so damn responsible that it literally hurts all over.
“Look at me.” I pull away from her, getting her attention. “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re amazing and strong. So, so strong, and I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty best friend. I should have been there for you. I’m so damn sorry.”
She cracks the first smile I’ve seen on her in over a month. “It isn’t your fault. I understand, though.”
And just like that, we’re back to normal as if nothing has happened. Just me and my best friend talking, laughing, and just living. God, I’ve missed this. Time slips by us, and the next thing we know, a lot of commotion breaks out in the community room.
We look at one another and then take off towards the sounds. We laugh when we find all the guys horsing around. Needing a break from all the heavy stuff, we take a seat on the sofa and watch. I think this is the first actual night where there isn’t any yelling or fighting. It’s just good old relaxing fun. But just as I’m about to say just that, Sniper comes jogging into the clubhouse.
“We’ve f**king got him, man. He’s at the warehouse,” Sniper says to Braxxon, and beside me, I feel Winter’s entire body stiffen.
“Chapel now,” Braxxon yells and then points at Winter. “You, stay.”
“No,” Angel says sternly. “I’ve got to hear this. Please, Braxxon.” She begs him to let her in on the discussion.
“Okay, baby,” he agrees.
I want what they have. It may be a messed up connection, but at least they have that. I watch as Pyro follows quietly behind them, stopping at the door to look at me before he enters. I try to smile. I honestly do, but I can’t quite do it.
My night is over with now, so I head back to the slam room and quietly shut the door behind me. Winter will tell me what happened later on.
All of a sudden, I’m emotionally drained and don’t know what the hell my head and heart are trying to tell me. I wish I could call my sister and talk to her about all of this, but I’ve always been a bad influence on her even though she is older than I am. I won’t tell anyone about Akela. I just can’t. If she found out I was dancing, she would be so damn disappointed. She’d lecture me about not needing to be working a pole, and that I should be investing our inheritance and going to school to become something better in life.
I drag some paper out of one of the beat up, old desk drawers, deciding that I’ll just write her and mail it. If I hear her voice, I’ll lose it, so writing her is the only other option. Since my cell phone is dead, I can’t send an email. If I don’t do this now, I never will, so pen to paper is what I need to do.
After I finish writing the letter, I track down one of the prospects to ask for an envelope and stamp. Eagle comes back less than a minute later with everything I need, and even offers to mail it out for me. Smiling at the thought of Akela reading it, I fill out the address on the envelope, seal it, and hand it over to him. My smile is all the thanks he needs. I’m glad he doesn’t ask me who Akela is, because I have no answers for anyone. It isn’t anyone’s business.
When the bikes roar into the compound parking lot, I’m anxious to hear about what happened, but a cackle from Bom Bom catches me off guard. She’s whispering that it took her forever to get Pyro off with her mouth. I’m pissed, but I don’t have a reason to be. He isn’t mine, but that isn’t going to stop me from saying something to him.
Winter’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. My eyes travel to where her growls are coming from and what I see makes me laugh inside. She has Dizzy up against the wall by her throat. I cross my arms and watch the scene unfold. Braxxon is able to coax her down and away from the black haired bitch, and he soothes her until she is calm.
When Pyro enters the clubhouse a little later, I wait for him to get near me before I let all hell loose.
“You’ve been chasing me around this damn clubhouse for five weeks, and yet you still get your DICK SUCKED BY BOM BOM!”
Pyro halts, throwing his hands out in front of his body like that is going to protect him from my wrath. I feel like he’s done nothing but played games with my head.
“What the f**k do you expect me to do? You won’t let me touch you, Lana!”
That is his excuse? Seriously?
“So, if we were committed to one another and we went on a dry spell... I’d have to deal with you letting other bitches suck on your dick?”
He can’t be serious right now.
“If you were mine, I’d be yours, Lana, and no one else’s. You’re the one that can’t make up your goddamn mind! You’re the one that has avoided me at all costs for the last f**king month!”
I shake my head back and forth. Why would I want him anywhere near me when he so easily gives his c**k to any woman?
“You’re a f**king bastard! I ain’t letting you touch me ever again. Go get your dick sucked. That seemed to work well for you the last time!”
“I can’t believe I did that, Lana. What is wrong with me?”
That one question guts me, and I reach over and embrace my best friend in a hug. I can’t believe I’ve been so damn cold towards her. I didn’t mean to be. It’s just that I feel so damn responsible that it literally hurts all over.
“Look at me.” I pull away from her, getting her attention. “Nothing is wrong with you. You’re amazing and strong. So, so strong, and I’m sorry I’ve been a shitty best friend. I should have been there for you. I’m so damn sorry.”
She cracks the first smile I’ve seen on her in over a month. “It isn’t your fault. I understand, though.”
And just like that, we’re back to normal as if nothing has happened. Just me and my best friend talking, laughing, and just living. God, I’ve missed this. Time slips by us, and the next thing we know, a lot of commotion breaks out in the community room.
We look at one another and then take off towards the sounds. We laugh when we find all the guys horsing around. Needing a break from all the heavy stuff, we take a seat on the sofa and watch. I think this is the first actual night where there isn’t any yelling or fighting. It’s just good old relaxing fun. But just as I’m about to say just that, Sniper comes jogging into the clubhouse.
“We’ve f**king got him, man. He’s at the warehouse,” Sniper says to Braxxon, and beside me, I feel Winter’s entire body stiffen.
“Chapel now,” Braxxon yells and then points at Winter. “You, stay.”
“No,” Angel says sternly. “I’ve got to hear this. Please, Braxxon.” She begs him to let her in on the discussion.
“Okay, baby,” he agrees.
I want what they have. It may be a messed up connection, but at least they have that. I watch as Pyro follows quietly behind them, stopping at the door to look at me before he enters. I try to smile. I honestly do, but I can’t quite do it.
My night is over with now, so I head back to the slam room and quietly shut the door behind me. Winter will tell me what happened later on.
All of a sudden, I’m emotionally drained and don’t know what the hell my head and heart are trying to tell me. I wish I could call my sister and talk to her about all of this, but I’ve always been a bad influence on her even though she is older than I am. I won’t tell anyone about Akela. I just can’t. If she found out I was dancing, she would be so damn disappointed. She’d lecture me about not needing to be working a pole, and that I should be investing our inheritance and going to school to become something better in life.
I drag some paper out of one of the beat up, old desk drawers, deciding that I’ll just write her and mail it. If I hear her voice, I’ll lose it, so writing her is the only other option. Since my cell phone is dead, I can’t send an email. If I don’t do this now, I never will, so pen to paper is what I need to do.
After I finish writing the letter, I track down one of the prospects to ask for an envelope and stamp. Eagle comes back less than a minute later with everything I need, and even offers to mail it out for me. Smiling at the thought of Akela reading it, I fill out the address on the envelope, seal it, and hand it over to him. My smile is all the thanks he needs. I’m glad he doesn’t ask me who Akela is, because I have no answers for anyone. It isn’t anyone’s business.
When the bikes roar into the compound parking lot, I’m anxious to hear about what happened, but a cackle from Bom Bom catches me off guard. She’s whispering that it took her forever to get Pyro off with her mouth. I’m pissed, but I don’t have a reason to be. He isn’t mine, but that isn’t going to stop me from saying something to him.
Winter’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. My eyes travel to where her growls are coming from and what I see makes me laugh inside. She has Dizzy up against the wall by her throat. I cross my arms and watch the scene unfold. Braxxon is able to coax her down and away from the black haired bitch, and he soothes her until she is calm.
When Pyro enters the clubhouse a little later, I wait for him to get near me before I let all hell loose.
“You’ve been chasing me around this damn clubhouse for five weeks, and yet you still get your DICK SUCKED BY BOM BOM!”
Pyro halts, throwing his hands out in front of his body like that is going to protect him from my wrath. I feel like he’s done nothing but played games with my head.
“What the f**k do you expect me to do? You won’t let me touch you, Lana!”
That is his excuse? Seriously?
“So, if we were committed to one another and we went on a dry spell... I’d have to deal with you letting other bitches suck on your dick?”
He can’t be serious right now.
“If you were mine, I’d be yours, Lana, and no one else’s. You’re the one that can’t make up your goddamn mind! You’re the one that has avoided me at all costs for the last f**king month!”
I shake my head back and forth. Why would I want him anywhere near me when he so easily gives his c**k to any woman?
“You’re a f**king bastard! I ain’t letting you touch me ever again. Go get your dick sucked. That seemed to work well for you the last time!”
