Resenting Me
Page 16
She is so full of shit. The attraction is there.
“Yeah right, you two are so damn hot for one another, I need a drink just to cool down when I am around you two.” Storm laughs.
See, I am not the only one who sees this.
“Well, what about you, Lana? I see the way you are with Pyro,” Piper says, getting back at me for bringing up Sniper, I’m guessing.
“I don’t know how you want me to answer that? Do I like him? Yes, I do, so damn much. But unlike Winter, I’m afraid to get too attached to someone. At least she had her reasons for being standoffish with Braxxon. I, on the other hand, just hate losing people so much, that I’d rather be lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. I can love him from afar. I’ve had no problems with it so far.”
Haley spits out her water. “You love him?”
Shit! Did I say that? Screw it.
“Yeah, I do. So much so, that I’m willing to not do anything about it, because I couldn’t bear it if something happened to him. I’m hoping that, by staying at least this far from him, it will give me some time to get over him.”
Winter, Storm, Piper, and Haley look at me like I haven’t got a clue.
“You do know that, when he decides to move on, or he decides to take Bom Bom on another go around, you’re going to be gutted, right?” Storm says.
I know this. I didn’t make this decision lightly. I am in love with him. I know that just doesn’t go away.
“She knows,” Winter whispers next to me.
Thank god she understands, at least.
“You guys are depressing the crap outta my pregnant ass,” Haley sighs.
I agree. I ain’t pregnant, but this shit is depressing. Being in love with someone you won’t allow yourself to have, even though you can, is f**king tragic.
“So, about this baby. Are you wanting to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Storm saves the day changing the subject.
Thank heavens for that, because I find that I want to crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. I chose this. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I chose to love this man and not be with him. I know Pyro cares for me, but I don’t think he realizes the extent of my feelings for him. I’m sure to him, it feels like all I am doing is playing games with him, and honestly, at first, I thought that too, but in reality, I am just afraid of losing him.
I loved my parents and then lost them. I have only opened up once since then, and it was towards Winter, and that was because I could see she is just as broken inside as I am. I am taking a chance on loving her, loving Piper, Haley, and Storm too, but with Pyro, that love is so much deeper. It is the soul mate kind. I could live just to love him, and that scares the ever loving shit out of me, because if something were to ever happen to him, I’d lose it. I would be nothing. If I want to survive in this world, I need to keep him at a distance and pray that this all goes away. But somehow, I doubt that...
Chapter Eleven
I rush around at the last minute to get dressed, scramble for paperwork needed at the club, and listen to poor Haley get sick in the bathroom, again. Pregnancy hasn’t been easy on her at all. Winter is going to be straight up pissed if I don’t get to the club soon. She needs us there for opening night. What kind of club owner doesn’t make it on time for opening night? I’ll tell you who. Me.
“Haley, you don’t have to go in tonight. We understand you’re sick,” I say through the bathroom door.
The toilet flushes and the door opens. “No, no way am I missing opening night.” She tries to smile as she turns on the water to brush her teeth.
Eagle comes around the corner, shushing us to listen, and nodding to the small window near the doorway. I walk over to the front door, peek out, and see two large black vehicles flying up the dirt road. My palms sweat as I gently move the curtain back to its place, and back away from the door.
“Get to the pool house now,” Eagle yells as he clicks off the safety on his gun. “Go inside, lock the door, and don’t come out for anything, do you understand?”
Oh god, oh god.
Haley and I run as fast as we can through the house, out the patio door, around the pool, and into the small cottage, slamming the door shut, and locking it behind us. I reach for the cordless phone and come up empty handed, only to remember that it isn’t on the dock. Winter left it on a lawn chair on the other side of the pool.
“Why the hell didn’t I grab my cell phone,” I whisper to Haley. A figure flashes across the window, startling us, until we realize it’s Eagle typing a text with one hand and holding a gun in the other.
“Haley, we need to...,” I stop to consider our options, “we need to lock ourselves in the back bathroom. The more doors between us, the better chance we have.” I don’t wait for her to respond. I jerk her hand in mine and drag her down the hallway behind me. Once we’re in the last bedroom, I shut the door quietly, lock it, and pull her into the bathroom and repeat the process. “Get in the tub, Haley.” I gently push her towards it.
“No. What about you?” she hisses.
“I’m not the one who’s pregnant. Get in the damn tub.” I snap the shower curtain open and push her in. “Do not come out for nothing, do you understand me? If they come in here, you don’t make a sound, no matter what.” If they find me, I’m hoping they will not look in the shower.
Haley steps in as I close the shower curtain behind her. I sink against the wall, straining to listen for noise the best I can. Shouting erupts in the silence outside the pool house, causing Haley to whimper loudly. Just when I shush her to be quiet, popping sounds surround us. I try to count them but I can’t keep up with all of them. When it goes silent again, I think maybe, just maybe, we might be okay. And then the front door to the pool house splinters open, echoing the sound of shattered wood all throughout.
“Yeah right, you two are so damn hot for one another, I need a drink just to cool down when I am around you two.” Storm laughs.
See, I am not the only one who sees this.
“Well, what about you, Lana? I see the way you are with Pyro,” Piper says, getting back at me for bringing up Sniper, I’m guessing.
“I don’t know how you want me to answer that? Do I like him? Yes, I do, so damn much. But unlike Winter, I’m afraid to get too attached to someone. At least she had her reasons for being standoffish with Braxxon. I, on the other hand, just hate losing people so much, that I’d rather be lonely and miserable for the rest of my life. I can love him from afar. I’ve had no problems with it so far.”
Haley spits out her water. “You love him?”
Shit! Did I say that? Screw it.
“Yeah, I do. So much so, that I’m willing to not do anything about it, because I couldn’t bear it if something happened to him. I’m hoping that, by staying at least this far from him, it will give me some time to get over him.”
Winter, Storm, Piper, and Haley look at me like I haven’t got a clue.
“You do know that, when he decides to move on, or he decides to take Bom Bom on another go around, you’re going to be gutted, right?” Storm says.
I know this. I didn’t make this decision lightly. I am in love with him. I know that just doesn’t go away.
“She knows,” Winter whispers next to me.
Thank god she understands, at least.
“You guys are depressing the crap outta my pregnant ass,” Haley sighs.
I agree. I ain’t pregnant, but this shit is depressing. Being in love with someone you won’t allow yourself to have, even though you can, is f**king tragic.
“So, about this baby. Are you wanting to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Storm saves the day changing the subject.
Thank heavens for that, because I find that I want to crawl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. I chose this. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I chose to love this man and not be with him. I know Pyro cares for me, but I don’t think he realizes the extent of my feelings for him. I’m sure to him, it feels like all I am doing is playing games with him, and honestly, at first, I thought that too, but in reality, I am just afraid of losing him.
I loved my parents and then lost them. I have only opened up once since then, and it was towards Winter, and that was because I could see she is just as broken inside as I am. I am taking a chance on loving her, loving Piper, Haley, and Storm too, but with Pyro, that love is so much deeper. It is the soul mate kind. I could live just to love him, and that scares the ever loving shit out of me, because if something were to ever happen to him, I’d lose it. I would be nothing. If I want to survive in this world, I need to keep him at a distance and pray that this all goes away. But somehow, I doubt that...
Chapter Eleven
I rush around at the last minute to get dressed, scramble for paperwork needed at the club, and listen to poor Haley get sick in the bathroom, again. Pregnancy hasn’t been easy on her at all. Winter is going to be straight up pissed if I don’t get to the club soon. She needs us there for opening night. What kind of club owner doesn’t make it on time for opening night? I’ll tell you who. Me.
“Haley, you don’t have to go in tonight. We understand you’re sick,” I say through the bathroom door.
The toilet flushes and the door opens. “No, no way am I missing opening night.” She tries to smile as she turns on the water to brush her teeth.
Eagle comes around the corner, shushing us to listen, and nodding to the small window near the doorway. I walk over to the front door, peek out, and see two large black vehicles flying up the dirt road. My palms sweat as I gently move the curtain back to its place, and back away from the door.
“Get to the pool house now,” Eagle yells as he clicks off the safety on his gun. “Go inside, lock the door, and don’t come out for anything, do you understand?”
Oh god, oh god.
Haley and I run as fast as we can through the house, out the patio door, around the pool, and into the small cottage, slamming the door shut, and locking it behind us. I reach for the cordless phone and come up empty handed, only to remember that it isn’t on the dock. Winter left it on a lawn chair on the other side of the pool.
“Why the hell didn’t I grab my cell phone,” I whisper to Haley. A figure flashes across the window, startling us, until we realize it’s Eagle typing a text with one hand and holding a gun in the other.
“Haley, we need to...,” I stop to consider our options, “we need to lock ourselves in the back bathroom. The more doors between us, the better chance we have.” I don’t wait for her to respond. I jerk her hand in mine and drag her down the hallway behind me. Once we’re in the last bedroom, I shut the door quietly, lock it, and pull her into the bathroom and repeat the process. “Get in the tub, Haley.” I gently push her towards it.
“No. What about you?” she hisses.
“I’m not the one who’s pregnant. Get in the damn tub.” I snap the shower curtain open and push her in. “Do not come out for nothing, do you understand me? If they come in here, you don’t make a sound, no matter what.” If they find me, I’m hoping they will not look in the shower.
Haley steps in as I close the shower curtain behind her. I sink against the wall, straining to listen for noise the best I can. Shouting erupts in the silence outside the pool house, causing Haley to whimper loudly. Just when I shush her to be quiet, popping sounds surround us. I try to count them but I can’t keep up with all of them. When it goes silent again, I think maybe, just maybe, we might be okay. And then the front door to the pool house splinters open, echoing the sound of shattered wood all throughout.
