Resenting Me
Page 5
Kites… kites have strings like puppets. Shoes have strings just like kites and puppets.
“Strings. They’re on like everything,” I mumble to Winter, but she doesn’t seem to be paying attention. “Even Pyro has stupid, invisible kite strings hanging on me. Pulling me, controlling me, owning me. His strings are making me his bitch!”
Shit! I am so messed up. This is all too much. This is not me. I don’t need to get messed up to solve my problems.
The coke from earlier, mixed with the banter and shots around the bar, are enough to make me feel sick. The painkillers alone are kicking my ass, and now I’ve had entirely too much to drink. When an old man practically insults me, it doesn’t piss me off near as much as when Pyro answers him back, saying that I am claimed pu**y. My stomach upchucks at that comment. My fogged up brain can’t handle any more of this tonight. When I get up to head to bed, Pyro follows me.
Great!
When we get back to the room, I swear he treats me like a damn baby. He won’t even touch me.
And I am about to confront his ass on it, too.
“What the hell is your deal, Pyro? Seriously? If you’re going to act this way, I’m just gonna head to Vegas and make the most of my weekend. I can rock this sling better than anyone on the strip.”
“Lana, are you really that f**king stupid?”
Ouch!
“I need to go lie down,” I mumble, feeling sick.
Pyro follows me as I walk away from the bed. I hear the door click shut and my mouth starts spurting shit like it always does.
“I’m just going to go back to Hawaii. Winter will come with me. There… problem f**king solved.”
I really can’t get messed up like this again. Having my inner thoughts shoot out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea is not a good thing.
A chair flies across the room, and I can tell by the flex of his shoulder blades that he’s trying to control his anger towards me.
“You honestly think the Prez is gonna let Winter just walk away?”
I cross my arms. Well, I try. It makes it hard with a sling on and all. “So, we’re like f**king prisoners?”
“Take off your clothes, get comfortable, and just lay here for a bit, yeah?” He sits on the side of the bed and leans back.
Damn him and his sweet moments. “Fine, for just a second.”
He chuckles beside me. “Babe, snuggled up to me and all those pills and liquor flowing through your veins... you’re gonna be out like a light in five minutes.”
“You’re way too cocky, but I like you like that. It turns me on—” I’m interrupted by my own sleepy slumber.
“Five, four, three, two, one.” I feel him whisper against my cheek and I grin.
“I don’t want you ever to leave, flower.”
If only him saying that wasn’t a dream, I would be the happiest girl alive.
Chapter Three
What Lana doesn’t know is that she’s about to go home, and I know I definitely don’t want her to go home. So I sit here and contemplate tying her up and keeping her all to myself. Yep, I’m that selfish bastard. One look into her eyes and you can tell they’re the honest kind. And you don’t find honest eyes around these parts.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love the thrill, the danger, the darkness of it all, but even with darkness, there needs to be some sort of light. Lana is that light for me, and hell if I don’t want to hang onto it for dear life. Sometimes I feel like I’m sinking so far down in the shit I do for my brothers that, one day, I won’t be able to climb back out of the pit. I need something to ground me, or I might just lose myself to it all. You can love everything about your life, everything you’re doing with it, but you need that one thing that keeps you human. And for me, I think that one thing is a person, and that person is Lana.
I grab her cell phone from the nightstand while she’s fast asleep and program my number in it. I know it’s a lame attempt, but it’s the only one I got.
“Pyro,” she says in a quiet, sleep-filled voice. “What are you doing with my phone?”
Shit on a stick!
“I charged it for you.”
Lame! I feel like repeatedly smacking myself in the head for that stupid excuse.
“Oh, thank you,” she whispers, grabbing at her head.
“What’s wrong?” I’m over to her side in two seconds flat.
“It’s this stupid headache. It feels like it won’t go away.”
I jump up and head over to the medicine cabinet to grab a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Here, take this,” I say while walking back over to her.
“What is this? Ecstasy?” she jokes and cringes from her laugh.
I stand back up with a scowl. “Why is it you can’t ever take me seriously?” I stop for a moment, sighing. “I guess that you’re here is reasonable doubt, huh?”
She smiles and takes the pills, gulping the water to wash them down.
“You’re goin’ home today, darlin’,” he whispers very quietly.
“You don’t sound very pleased?”
“That’s because, for the first time ever, I don’t think I am, Lana.”
Whoa, change of pace here.
“Why is that, do you think?” I quietly ask him.
I cringe as I sit up and try to speak calmly. I still don’t know him yet or how his temper may flare.
“This isn’t a place for me, Pyro. You’re gonna have to let me go home.”
“Strings. They’re on like everything,” I mumble to Winter, but she doesn’t seem to be paying attention. “Even Pyro has stupid, invisible kite strings hanging on me. Pulling me, controlling me, owning me. His strings are making me his bitch!”
Shit! I am so messed up. This is all too much. This is not me. I don’t need to get messed up to solve my problems.
The coke from earlier, mixed with the banter and shots around the bar, are enough to make me feel sick. The painkillers alone are kicking my ass, and now I’ve had entirely too much to drink. When an old man practically insults me, it doesn’t piss me off near as much as when Pyro answers him back, saying that I am claimed pu**y. My stomach upchucks at that comment. My fogged up brain can’t handle any more of this tonight. When I get up to head to bed, Pyro follows me.
Great!
When we get back to the room, I swear he treats me like a damn baby. He won’t even touch me.
And I am about to confront his ass on it, too.
“What the hell is your deal, Pyro? Seriously? If you’re going to act this way, I’m just gonna head to Vegas and make the most of my weekend. I can rock this sling better than anyone on the strip.”
“Lana, are you really that f**king stupid?”
Ouch!
“I need to go lie down,” I mumble, feeling sick.
Pyro follows me as I walk away from the bed. I hear the door click shut and my mouth starts spurting shit like it always does.
“I’m just going to go back to Hawaii. Winter will come with me. There… problem f**king solved.”
I really can’t get messed up like this again. Having my inner thoughts shoot out of my mouth like verbal diarrhea is not a good thing.
A chair flies across the room, and I can tell by the flex of his shoulder blades that he’s trying to control his anger towards me.
“You honestly think the Prez is gonna let Winter just walk away?”
I cross my arms. Well, I try. It makes it hard with a sling on and all. “So, we’re like f**king prisoners?”
“Take off your clothes, get comfortable, and just lay here for a bit, yeah?” He sits on the side of the bed and leans back.
Damn him and his sweet moments. “Fine, for just a second.”
He chuckles beside me. “Babe, snuggled up to me and all those pills and liquor flowing through your veins... you’re gonna be out like a light in five minutes.”
“You’re way too cocky, but I like you like that. It turns me on—” I’m interrupted by my own sleepy slumber.
“Five, four, three, two, one.” I feel him whisper against my cheek and I grin.
“I don’t want you ever to leave, flower.”
If only him saying that wasn’t a dream, I would be the happiest girl alive.
Chapter Three
What Lana doesn’t know is that she’s about to go home, and I know I definitely don’t want her to go home. So I sit here and contemplate tying her up and keeping her all to myself. Yep, I’m that selfish bastard. One look into her eyes and you can tell they’re the honest kind. And you don’t find honest eyes around these parts.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love the thrill, the danger, the darkness of it all, but even with darkness, there needs to be some sort of light. Lana is that light for me, and hell if I don’t want to hang onto it for dear life. Sometimes I feel like I’m sinking so far down in the shit I do for my brothers that, one day, I won’t be able to climb back out of the pit. I need something to ground me, or I might just lose myself to it all. You can love everything about your life, everything you’re doing with it, but you need that one thing that keeps you human. And for me, I think that one thing is a person, and that person is Lana.
I grab her cell phone from the nightstand while she’s fast asleep and program my number in it. I know it’s a lame attempt, but it’s the only one I got.
“Pyro,” she says in a quiet, sleep-filled voice. “What are you doing with my phone?”
Shit on a stick!
“I charged it for you.”
Lame! I feel like repeatedly smacking myself in the head for that stupid excuse.
“Oh, thank you,” she whispers, grabbing at her head.
“What’s wrong?” I’m over to her side in two seconds flat.
“It’s this stupid headache. It feels like it won’t go away.”
I jump up and head over to the medicine cabinet to grab a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Here, take this,” I say while walking back over to her.
“What is this? Ecstasy?” she jokes and cringes from her laugh.
I stand back up with a scowl. “Why is it you can’t ever take me seriously?” I stop for a moment, sighing. “I guess that you’re here is reasonable doubt, huh?”
She smiles and takes the pills, gulping the water to wash them down.
“You’re goin’ home today, darlin’,” he whispers very quietly.
“You don’t sound very pleased?”
“That’s because, for the first time ever, I don’t think I am, Lana.”
Whoa, change of pace here.
“Why is that, do you think?” I quietly ask him.
I cringe as I sit up and try to speak calmly. I still don’t know him yet or how his temper may flare.
“This isn’t a place for me, Pyro. You’re gonna have to let me go home.”
