Revive
Page 52
She continued to run her fingers through my hair.
Soft.
Calming.
Loving.
Exactly what I needed.
“I’m here for you, whatever you need. Tell me you hear me when I say that,” she said, her piercing gaze demanding so much from me.
Fuck.
I hesitated, but she didn’t let me off. She held my gaze, and I knew she wasn’t budging an inch. I had to give her what she’d asked for. And I knew it was going to be both my undoing and my healing.
Fuck.
Slowly, I nodded. “Yes, I hear you.”
Her hand moved to my face, her fingers tracing soft patterns on my cheek. Never in my life had I been with a woman who was so caring; who didn’t ask me for anything in return. Velvet just loved. She’d loved me as a friend for so long now and I hadn’t truly acknowledged that for what it was. It was way past time to do that.
I took her hand in mine. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome.”
I shook my head. She didn’t know what I was thanking her for. “No, baby. I’m thanking you for what you’ve already done for me, not for what you’re offering to do now.”
Confusion flickered over her face. “What have I already done for you, Nash?”
“You’ve been a friend to me. And I was a bastard to you on more than one occasion. I don’t fuckin’ deserve you but I’m gonna take you and everything you’re offering.”
She swallowed hard, and her eyes teared up.
“Shit, sweet thing, I didn’t want to make you cry,” I murmured.
Smiling through her tears, she said, “They’re happy tears, baby.”
“Happy for what?”
“You reminded me that I’m worthy of love. James took that belief from me and I’ve struggled ever since to feel worthy again. And you do deserve me, Nash. I see your pain. I know there’s more, and I know you’ll share it with me eventually, but whatever has happened to make you think you don’t deserve love, it’s not true.”
Fuck me, she was an angel. I wasn’t sure I’d ever deserve her. I rolled us over so I was lying over her. Bending my lips to hers, I murmured, “You’re mine now, Velvet.”
Our lips joined in a slow, gentle kiss. A kiss that stirred long buried desires. Life had thrown a lot of fucking curve balls, and hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. And although I’d never have the one thing I’d always truly desired, I knew that having Velvet would help me deal with the loss of that dream. Fuck knew, it was time to finally deal with that; ten years was long enough to hold onto that heartache.
Chapter 24
Brave ~ Sara Bareilles
––––––––
Velvet
Mine.
That’s what I was thinking as I watched Nash walk to his bike. He was mine. He’d given himself to me last night, making me happier than I could ever remember.
I watched him leave, and then went inside, out of the cold wind. Mondays were my least favourite day of the week¸ and today was no exception. The only shining part of the day was that I woke up to Nash loving. And afterward, he’d made me toast and coffee. We hadn’t made plans to see each other tonight because it looked like he might be busy with Kick. So, I had a long day of study, work and no more Nash loving ahead of me. Yeah, Monday could kiss my ass.
Bella rubbed herself against my legs, happy to see me. I picked her up and pet her. “Sorry, baby, I’ve been neglecting you lately, haven’t I?”
She purred at my touch.
“Nash has kinda been taking up all my time. You’d understand if you were a woman,” I said as I placed her back on the ground and fed her.
Once she was happy, I made my way into the study, ready to tackle the mountain of work I had to get through today. However, just as I was about to take a seat, there was a knock at my front door so I headed back out there to see who it was.
James stood on my verandah, a contemptuous look on his face.
“What do you want now?” I asked, joining him on the verandah rather than letting him inside. Surprisingly, the old feelings of inadequacy I usually felt around James did not surface.
“May I come in?”
“No, James, Say what you need to say and then you can go. There’s no need to go inside for that.”
His brow arched. “As you prefer. I’ve come to tell you that I’m withdrawing my offer.”
I scoffed. “Nash came to see you, didn’t he?”
Annoyance covered his features. “You need to tell your lapdog that if any of what we discussed surfaces, his club won’t know what hit it.”
I cocked my head to the side. “First of all, Nash isn’t anyone’s lapdog. I have no control over anything he does. And second, I’m guessing that whatever dirt he has on you must be huge for you to come here today. Which means that if any of it were to get out, you wouldn’t have the power to hurt him or his club.” God, it felt so damn good to say this to him. My heart was beating with excitement to finally have the courage to take him on. And to feel no fear.
He scowled. “I’m deadly serious, Velvet, when I say that you don’t want to take me on. And you don’t want to talk to anyone about me, us or our marriage. You thought you got screwed in our divorce? You’d be fucking decimated over this if you pursued it.” The vein in his neck pulsed and his nostrils flared as he spat out his threat.
“See, that’s what you never understood, James. You already fucking decimated me. You ripped me to pieces and left me ruined. Back then I had no-one to help me; I had to face all my monsters by myself. And I did. It took me years, but I put myself back together, stronger than before you found me. So, knock yourself out because I know I have what it takes to survive. And this time around, I have someone who cares about me to back me up.”
Soft.
Calming.
Loving.
Exactly what I needed.
“I’m here for you, whatever you need. Tell me you hear me when I say that,” she said, her piercing gaze demanding so much from me.
Fuck.
I hesitated, but she didn’t let me off. She held my gaze, and I knew she wasn’t budging an inch. I had to give her what she’d asked for. And I knew it was going to be both my undoing and my healing.
Fuck.
Slowly, I nodded. “Yes, I hear you.”
Her hand moved to my face, her fingers tracing soft patterns on my cheek. Never in my life had I been with a woman who was so caring; who didn’t ask me for anything in return. Velvet just loved. She’d loved me as a friend for so long now and I hadn’t truly acknowledged that for what it was. It was way past time to do that.
I took her hand in mine. “Thank you.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome.”
I shook my head. She didn’t know what I was thanking her for. “No, baby. I’m thanking you for what you’ve already done for me, not for what you’re offering to do now.”
Confusion flickered over her face. “What have I already done for you, Nash?”
“You’ve been a friend to me. And I was a bastard to you on more than one occasion. I don’t fuckin’ deserve you but I’m gonna take you and everything you’re offering.”
She swallowed hard, and her eyes teared up.
“Shit, sweet thing, I didn’t want to make you cry,” I murmured.
Smiling through her tears, she said, “They’re happy tears, baby.”
“Happy for what?”
“You reminded me that I’m worthy of love. James took that belief from me and I’ve struggled ever since to feel worthy again. And you do deserve me, Nash. I see your pain. I know there’s more, and I know you’ll share it with me eventually, but whatever has happened to make you think you don’t deserve love, it’s not true.”
Fuck me, she was an angel. I wasn’t sure I’d ever deserve her. I rolled us over so I was lying over her. Bending my lips to hers, I murmured, “You’re mine now, Velvet.”
Our lips joined in a slow, gentle kiss. A kiss that stirred long buried desires. Life had thrown a lot of fucking curve balls, and hadn’t turned out the way I’d planned. And although I’d never have the one thing I’d always truly desired, I knew that having Velvet would help me deal with the loss of that dream. Fuck knew, it was time to finally deal with that; ten years was long enough to hold onto that heartache.
Chapter 24
Brave ~ Sara Bareilles
––––––––
Velvet
Mine.
That’s what I was thinking as I watched Nash walk to his bike. He was mine. He’d given himself to me last night, making me happier than I could ever remember.
I watched him leave, and then went inside, out of the cold wind. Mondays were my least favourite day of the week¸ and today was no exception. The only shining part of the day was that I woke up to Nash loving. And afterward, he’d made me toast and coffee. We hadn’t made plans to see each other tonight because it looked like he might be busy with Kick. So, I had a long day of study, work and no more Nash loving ahead of me. Yeah, Monday could kiss my ass.
Bella rubbed herself against my legs, happy to see me. I picked her up and pet her. “Sorry, baby, I’ve been neglecting you lately, haven’t I?”
She purred at my touch.
“Nash has kinda been taking up all my time. You’d understand if you were a woman,” I said as I placed her back on the ground and fed her.
Once she was happy, I made my way into the study, ready to tackle the mountain of work I had to get through today. However, just as I was about to take a seat, there was a knock at my front door so I headed back out there to see who it was.
James stood on my verandah, a contemptuous look on his face.
“What do you want now?” I asked, joining him on the verandah rather than letting him inside. Surprisingly, the old feelings of inadequacy I usually felt around James did not surface.
“May I come in?”
“No, James, Say what you need to say and then you can go. There’s no need to go inside for that.”
His brow arched. “As you prefer. I’ve come to tell you that I’m withdrawing my offer.”
I scoffed. “Nash came to see you, didn’t he?”
Annoyance covered his features. “You need to tell your lapdog that if any of what we discussed surfaces, his club won’t know what hit it.”
I cocked my head to the side. “First of all, Nash isn’t anyone’s lapdog. I have no control over anything he does. And second, I’m guessing that whatever dirt he has on you must be huge for you to come here today. Which means that if any of it were to get out, you wouldn’t have the power to hurt him or his club.” God, it felt so damn good to say this to him. My heart was beating with excitement to finally have the courage to take him on. And to feel no fear.
He scowled. “I’m deadly serious, Velvet, when I say that you don’t want to take me on. And you don’t want to talk to anyone about me, us or our marriage. You thought you got screwed in our divorce? You’d be fucking decimated over this if you pursued it.” The vein in his neck pulsed and his nostrils flared as he spat out his threat.
“See, that’s what you never understood, James. You already fucking decimated me. You ripped me to pieces and left me ruined. Back then I had no-one to help me; I had to face all my monsters by myself. And I did. It took me years, but I put myself back together, stronger than before you found me. So, knock yourself out because I know I have what it takes to survive. And this time around, I have someone who cares about me to back me up.”
