Rhapsodic
Page 75
Des is moving, closing the remaining space between us, and I’m just staring at him like a fool, my knees pressed close to my chest.
He kneels in front of me, the air shimmering beyond his shoulders. He takes my hand, his eyes serious.
My heart’s in my throat, and I can’t swallow it back down. I feel bare in the most exquisite way, and I’m not sure why that is.
He begins to smile. “Would you, Callypso Lillis, take me to the May Day Ball?”
Present
Eli. The Most Wanted List. That’s all I can think about as I step outside Des’s home and face my ex.
Our last confrontation feels like a million years ago. Honestly, after everything that’s happened in the Otherworld, this just seems … so insignificant by comparison.
“Were you trying to get caught, or did you just not give two shits about it?” Eli asks.
“I didn’t give two shits about it.” I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the entryway wall. Now I feel the heat of my anger coming back. This bastard. “I can’t believe you had the audacity to come into my home and threaten my life and then, as if that weren’t enough, you put my name on the goddamn Wanted List.”
“Callie, I never would’ve hurt you,” he says, his voice soft. He looks almost wounded. And I’m sure it is wounding on some level, considering he is the protector of his pack.
“You came into my house during the Sacred Seven,” I say. “Of course you could have hurt me.”
He shakes his head. “You’re pack. Or at least—you were.”
I feel my hackles rising at his reaction.
“Do you put all pack members on the Wanted List?” I ask.
Let’s see just how big Eli’s balls are.
Eli runs a hand down his face. “What I did, all of it, was a mistake,” he says, his voice defeated. “I was angry, and my wolf was demanding justice …” He sighs. “It’s no excuse, but I regret it, if it makes any difference.”
I press my lips together. It’s not like I handled things well either, but putting someone on the supernatural Wanted List far outweighs any wrongdoing on my part.
“I’m not going to let you arrest me,” I say.
He lets out a breath. “I’m not taking you in. I just … needed to talk to you.”
“You could’ve just called.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice genuine. Coming from an alpha like him, an apology is a rare thing.
I work my jaw. I’m still so peeved at the whole thing. Pushing down my frustration, I nod, looking away. I’m not sure whether I’m acknowledging Eli’s apology or accepting it. All I know is that I want to bury the hatchet between us.
The shifters eyes move to the Bargainer’s house. “My offer still stands, Callie.”
I glance at him.
“What I did was wrong, but what this guy’s doing, that’s worse. He’s taking away your free will,” he says. “The Bargainer is a wanted man. Just give me the word and I’ll go in there and take care of the issue.”
It takes several seconds to register what he’s saying. When it does, horror washes over me. “No, I don’t want that.”
“Callie.” The alpha is in his voice.
“Don’t,” I warn. He no longer has the right to exert his pull over me. “There’s so much you don’t know.”
“Then tell me,” he says. “Or else I’m just going to keep assuming the worst.”
Isn’t that exactly what I’ve been demanding of Des? To stop keeping secrets? And here I am being a hypocrite.
But this secret …
“I never told you about my past.” I rub my face.
Even now I hesitate to tell Eli. It hurts to remember, and then there’s the shame. Always the shame.
But perhaps if I tell him, he’ll understand why I acted the way I have. And perhaps it will help him feel better, about me, about Des, and about the situation.
“When I was a minor,” I begin, “my stepfather … my stepfather …”
Eli goes still.
“He sexually abused me.” I force the words out.
I hear a low growl. This is what I’ve always loved about shifters—about Eli. No one fucks with their young. No one.
I blow out a shaky breath. “It went on for years. And it only stopped …” I pause again, pinching my forehead.
I can do this.
“When I was almost sixteen, he came at me, and I fought him off with a broken bottle. Nicked an artery.” All that blood. “He was dead in a matter of minutes.”
Eli’s growl is growing louder and louder.
I stare at my hands. “I killed a man. I wasn’t even an adult. I thought my life was over before it had begun, all because I finally fought off the person abusing me.” My voice drops. “He was such a powerful seer. Had I done things the legal way, I just … I don’t know if it would’ve ended well for me.”
I take a deep breath.
“So I called on a man infamous for his deals …”
That’s all I manage to get in before Eli pulls me into a hug, holding me close. “I’m so sorry, Callie. So fucking sorry.”
I shudder a little as the memory runs its course through me and I nod against him.
“You should’ve told me this. All of this,” he admonishes me quietly.
“I’m bad at sharing,” I admit.
He kneels in front of me, the air shimmering beyond his shoulders. He takes my hand, his eyes serious.
My heart’s in my throat, and I can’t swallow it back down. I feel bare in the most exquisite way, and I’m not sure why that is.
He begins to smile. “Would you, Callypso Lillis, take me to the May Day Ball?”
Present
Eli. The Most Wanted List. That’s all I can think about as I step outside Des’s home and face my ex.
Our last confrontation feels like a million years ago. Honestly, after everything that’s happened in the Otherworld, this just seems … so insignificant by comparison.
“Were you trying to get caught, or did you just not give two shits about it?” Eli asks.
“I didn’t give two shits about it.” I fold my arms over my chest and lean against the entryway wall. Now I feel the heat of my anger coming back. This bastard. “I can’t believe you had the audacity to come into my home and threaten my life and then, as if that weren’t enough, you put my name on the goddamn Wanted List.”
“Callie, I never would’ve hurt you,” he says, his voice soft. He looks almost wounded. And I’m sure it is wounding on some level, considering he is the protector of his pack.
“You came into my house during the Sacred Seven,” I say. “Of course you could have hurt me.”
He shakes his head. “You’re pack. Or at least—you were.”
I feel my hackles rising at his reaction.
“Do you put all pack members on the Wanted List?” I ask.
Let’s see just how big Eli’s balls are.
Eli runs a hand down his face. “What I did, all of it, was a mistake,” he says, his voice defeated. “I was angry, and my wolf was demanding justice …” He sighs. “It’s no excuse, but I regret it, if it makes any difference.”
I press my lips together. It’s not like I handled things well either, but putting someone on the supernatural Wanted List far outweighs any wrongdoing on my part.
“I’m not going to let you arrest me,” I say.
He lets out a breath. “I’m not taking you in. I just … needed to talk to you.”
“You could’ve just called.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice genuine. Coming from an alpha like him, an apology is a rare thing.
I work my jaw. I’m still so peeved at the whole thing. Pushing down my frustration, I nod, looking away. I’m not sure whether I’m acknowledging Eli’s apology or accepting it. All I know is that I want to bury the hatchet between us.
The shifters eyes move to the Bargainer’s house. “My offer still stands, Callie.”
I glance at him.
“What I did was wrong, but what this guy’s doing, that’s worse. He’s taking away your free will,” he says. “The Bargainer is a wanted man. Just give me the word and I’ll go in there and take care of the issue.”
It takes several seconds to register what he’s saying. When it does, horror washes over me. “No, I don’t want that.”
“Callie.” The alpha is in his voice.
“Don’t,” I warn. He no longer has the right to exert his pull over me. “There’s so much you don’t know.”
“Then tell me,” he says. “Or else I’m just going to keep assuming the worst.”
Isn’t that exactly what I’ve been demanding of Des? To stop keeping secrets? And here I am being a hypocrite.
But this secret …
“I never told you about my past.” I rub my face.
Even now I hesitate to tell Eli. It hurts to remember, and then there’s the shame. Always the shame.
But perhaps if I tell him, he’ll understand why I acted the way I have. And perhaps it will help him feel better, about me, about Des, and about the situation.
“When I was a minor,” I begin, “my stepfather … my stepfather …”
Eli goes still.
“He sexually abused me.” I force the words out.
I hear a low growl. This is what I’ve always loved about shifters—about Eli. No one fucks with their young. No one.
I blow out a shaky breath. “It went on for years. And it only stopped …” I pause again, pinching my forehead.
I can do this.
“When I was almost sixteen, he came at me, and I fought him off with a broken bottle. Nicked an artery.” All that blood. “He was dead in a matter of minutes.”
Eli’s growl is growing louder and louder.
I stare at my hands. “I killed a man. I wasn’t even an adult. I thought my life was over before it had begun, all because I finally fought off the person abusing me.” My voice drops. “He was such a powerful seer. Had I done things the legal way, I just … I don’t know if it would’ve ended well for me.”
I take a deep breath.
“So I called on a man infamous for his deals …”
That’s all I manage to get in before Eli pulls me into a hug, holding me close. “I’m so sorry, Callie. So fucking sorry.”
I shudder a little as the memory runs its course through me and I nod against him.
“You should’ve told me this. All of this,” he admonishes me quietly.
“I’m bad at sharing,” I admit.
