Riding the Edge
Page 13
“I didn’t hate it. Much.” She looked down.
He tipped her chin up with his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You hated it. I’m sorry.”
He spread her knees apart and moved between her thighs, cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. It was soft, the touch of his lips so light she could barely feel it. And because of that, she held her breath, absorbed the utter sweetness of his apology. For a man who looked and acted so hard, the lightness of this kiss rocked her.
When he pulled back, she felt shaken, disoriented, like she was drugged.
“Thank you,” she managed.
He swept his hand along her hair. “For what?”
“I don’t know. I just like being with you. You do something to me, Rick. I can’t explain it.”
His hand stilled and she studied the expression on his face. She’d almost call it shock or surprise, but she certainly hadn’t said anything shockworthy.
“You hungry?”
She nodded. “Starving.”
He pushed off the arms of the chair and stood. “Me, too. Let’s go get some breakfast.”
Rick ate his breakfast, inhaled a few more cups of coffee, and pondered what Ava had said earlier.
She’d surprised him, and women generally didn’t. That alone made her unique.
He’d felt bad for teasing her, because he could tell he’d hurt her feelings.
She was way more innocent than he’d originally thought, which only made this assignment more confusing.
What was a woman who had a total of four sex partners—and he figured he was probably included in those four—doing with a gang like the Hellraisers? It made no sense. She wasn’t worldly or streetwise. She was sheltered. She’d said so herself. After being all but monitored 24/7 by her parents, she’d gone off to college and . . . studied. She hadn’t partied her ass off and f**ked one guy after another. She’d gone to college and gotten an education. And then a master’s degree after that.
She had no history of drugs or violence or hanging out with gangs.
So what the f**k was she doing here with this gang?
He supposed he could just ask her. But what if for some reason she was embedded in the Hellraisers for a reason? Hell, for all he knew she’d been paired up with him to test him, since he’d asked Bo to get back in the gang.
Her whole innocent act could be just that—an act. She could be lying to him about everything—including the four guys she’d fucked.
Which meant he was going to have to keep doing what he was doing. He’d have to stay close to her to figure out her angle, without revealing his own.
Dammit, he hated being in the dark.
“You’re quiet over there.”
He lifted his head to look over at her. God, she was beautiful. He really couldn’t get over her. Today she wore a burgundy turtleneck sweater that clung to those gorgeous br**sts of hers, tight jeans that molded to her full h*ps and thighs and outlined her sweet ass just perfectly. He’d enjoyed walking behind her as they were led to the table. She’d left her hair loose, and it hung like a waterfall of raven silk over her breasts.
He could stare at her all day and not say a damn word. But that wasn’t what he was supposed to do, so instead, he grinned. “Sorry. I really was hungry.”
“I can see that. I was afraid you were going to lick your plate.”
He looked down at his empty plate, then over at her partially finished one. “I thought about grabbing that last piece of bacon.”
She picked it up and offered it to him. “Be my guest.”
He took it from her. “Thanks.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know where you put it all. There isn’t an ounce of fat on you. Do you work out or run or something?”
“I work out when I can.”
“I thought you rode a lot.”
“I do. But you can’t ride twenty-four hours a day. And wherever I go I make sure there’s a gym where I can go a few rounds in the ring.”
“You box?”
He nodded and pushed his plate to the edge of the table. “It’s great exercise.”
“I’ll bet.”
“What about you? What do you do for fun?”
“Yoga.”
“That figures. You look like the spiritual guru, get-into-the-head kind of person.”
She laughed. “It’s not at all like that. Well, it can be. But it’s a great muscle workout, too. And it relaxes me.”
“If you say so.”
“You should try it with me sometime.”
“Can we do it na**d?”
She looked at him, then burst out laughing. “Only you would suggest that.”
“That’s why you like me.”
She quirked her lips. “Probably.”
“Hey, you two snuck out of our room last night and missed all the partying.”
Ava looked up to find Lacey leaning over her shoulder. “You and Bo were kind of busy.”
Lacey fell into the chair next to her and grinned. “Yeah, we were. We just got up. Oh my God, what a fun night.” She grabbed Ava’s hand. “You should have stayed. We could have had a . . . sixsome.” Then she laughed so loud that the customers in the restaurant began to look their way.
Ava shifted and leaned over the table, whispering. “Probably not something you want broadcast to the entire place.”
Lacey waved her hand and sniffed. “Oh, who cares. Bunch of prudes, anyway. So, did you and Rick get it on?”
Who was this person?
“I don’t think Ava’s interested in giving you the details of her sex life,” Rick said, saving Ava from having to tell her best friend that she was being too intrusive.
“Why not? Oh, I know, because Ava rarely even has a sex life.” Lacey snorted.
Ava’s face flamed, and she fought hard to retain her concern for her friend. “Lace, have you eaten yet?”
Lacey’s gaze flitted around the room, as if she’d just now discovered she was in a restaurant. “Oh. No. I’m not even hungry.” She laughed again. “What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“That early? What the hell am I doing up? I thought it was like . . . afternoon or something. I think I’ll go back to bed.” She pushed back from her chair and stood, then walked away without saying good-bye.
Ava watched her go, concerned more than ever about Lacey’s increasingly bizarre behavior.
“She always that disjointed?” Rick asked.
“No.”
Rick leaned back and leveled his gaze at her.
“What?”
“You’re worried about her.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why?”
“Because who you just saw is not the Lacey I’ve always known.”
“Yeah. Who is she?”
Ava watched Lacey disappear, then blew out a breath of frustration.
“I wish I knew, Rick. I really wish I knew.”
Because the way things looked now, it was much worse than Ava had originally thought. She had thought it was just love that had changed Lacey from studious to flighty.
Now she feared it was more than that.
And a lot worse.
NINE
Rick studied the concern on Ava’s face, and wondered if her friend Lacey was the primary reason for Ava being with the Hellraisers.
Not to irritate her father, not because she was involved in drug distribution.
But because she was concerned about her friend.
He’d have to walk a fine line here, but he intended to find out. And he hoped that Ava was in the mood to talk.
“Let’s head on out of here.” He pushed his chair back and stood. Ava followed.
“So tell me, what’s different about her?” he asked as they headed toward the elevator.
She stepped inside, waited while Rick pushed the button and the doors swooshed closed, then turned to him, seemingly eager to unload her concerns on someone. He was glad to be that person.
“She’s frenetic. All over the place. Lacey used to be calm, organized. And shy. Oh so shy. Does she seem shy to you now?”
Rick laughed. “Uh, no. Not from what I saw in their room last night.”
“Exactly. Everything about her changed after she . . .”
“After she what?”
She hesitated. “I don’t want to make you mad.”
He cocked his head to the side. “How could you make me mad?”
“It’s about Bo.”
“You can be blunt with me about whatever you want, Ava, including Bo. Say what’s on your mind.”
“Everything changed after she met your cousin.”
The doors opened and they started down the hallway toward their rooms. “And you think it has something to do with Lacey hooking up with Bo.”
“Yes. As soon as she started dating Bo, her entire life changed.”
She handed her key to Rick and he opened her door. Ava slid into the chair near the window and Rick took the chair on the other side of the small table. Sunlight streamed into the room, highlighting her hair and face. She didn’t turn away like she had something to hide, instead leaned into the light like she was soaking up the warmth.
“Tell me how her life changed.”
“She quit school. We were in the master’s program together, and she dropped out with only one year to go.”
“Was she struggling?”
Ava let out a short laugh. “Not at all. Lacey was an ace student with plans far into the future for both her academics and her career as a psychologist. But after she met Bo and started riding with the Hellraisers, everything changed.”
Rick shrugged. “People grow up, Ava. Sometimes that happens. What they thought they wanted when they were younger is sometimes altered when they get a little age and experience in them.”
“I realize that. But not Lacey. She knew what she wanted to do, what she wanted to be. She was focused, had short- and long-term goals. She knew on Monday what she was going to do on Friday.”
“A little anal?”
Ava managed a slight smile. “A little. But I’ve known her all my life. I know how she thinks, how she acts. The woman you saw downstairs isn’t anything like her.”
“And you think that has something to do with her relationship with Bo?”
Ava worried her lip, hesitating.
“You can talk to me without worrying I’m going to go running to Bo. I don’t tell him anything.”
She nodded. “I think joining the Hellraisers had everything to do with her change in personality, but I don’t think it’s just Bo.”
He didn’t want to ask leading questions, so he just let the silence drift between them and gave her time to think it out.
“Her eyes were so glassy. And we knew they were smoking pot last night.”
“Yes.”
She waved her hand in the air. “But that wears off. And it wouldn’t account for her frenetic behavior. She’s been sniffling a lot. Her nose is irritated.”
He knew where she was going, but he wanted her to say it.
“I think she’s taking drugs.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.” She looked down at her hands for a while, played with the cuticle on one of her fingernails, then swept her gaze back up to Rick. “She never even liked to take acetaminophen for a headache, Rick. So how could she make such a drastic change?”
Now he knew he’d have to say something. “Drugs alter people’s perception of things.”
“Do they? I don’t know. I’ve never known anyone who took them.”
“I’ve known plenty of people who have. It changes them.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out the window. “I don’t know what to do for her.” She looked at him. “I mean, I do, from a professional standpoint. But she’s my friend.”
He nodded. “It’s different when it’s someone you’re close to. You lose your objectivity.”
“So what do I do?”
“You can’t make her stop taking drugs if that’s what she’s doing. All you can do is talk to her, see if she’ll open up to you, then try to make her see the reality of it.”
“I know all that. But I want her to stop. Right now. Selfishly, I want her to be the old Lacey—the one I grew up with, the one I’ve been friends with since we were kids.”
“That person is gone, Ava. That’s the first thing you’re going to have to accept. Time and experience changes a person. You’ll have to learn to live with Lacey as she is now, and move forward.”
He saw the shimmer of tears in her eyes and wished he could wipe them away. But if Lacey was on drugs, then what he’d told Ava was the truth. Only Lacey could help herself. Ava could only be there to support her. Deep down, Ava knew that. It might take her a while to come to grips with it, though.
She sighed. “How did you get to be so wise? You’re almost like a counselor yourself.”
He laughed. “Me? Hardly. I’ve just been on the streets a long time. Seen a lot. Know when to get involved and know when to back away. Sometimes you can lend a hand, and sometimes just an ear. You learn to recognize the difference.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She went over to him and sat on his lap. “For being willing to listen. We don’t know each other all that well. And I don’t have many—any—friends. Except Lacey. We used to confide in each other. There’s been a void in the year she’s been out of my life. I hadn’t realized until now how much I’ve missed having someone to talk to.”
He tipped her chin up with his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You hated it. I’m sorry.”
He spread her knees apart and moved between her thighs, cradled her face in his hands and kissed her. It was soft, the touch of his lips so light she could barely feel it. And because of that, she held her breath, absorbed the utter sweetness of his apology. For a man who looked and acted so hard, the lightness of this kiss rocked her.
When he pulled back, she felt shaken, disoriented, like she was drugged.
“Thank you,” she managed.
He swept his hand along her hair. “For what?”
“I don’t know. I just like being with you. You do something to me, Rick. I can’t explain it.”
His hand stilled and she studied the expression on his face. She’d almost call it shock or surprise, but she certainly hadn’t said anything shockworthy.
“You hungry?”
She nodded. “Starving.”
He pushed off the arms of the chair and stood. “Me, too. Let’s go get some breakfast.”
Rick ate his breakfast, inhaled a few more cups of coffee, and pondered what Ava had said earlier.
She’d surprised him, and women generally didn’t. That alone made her unique.
He’d felt bad for teasing her, because he could tell he’d hurt her feelings.
She was way more innocent than he’d originally thought, which only made this assignment more confusing.
What was a woman who had a total of four sex partners—and he figured he was probably included in those four—doing with a gang like the Hellraisers? It made no sense. She wasn’t worldly or streetwise. She was sheltered. She’d said so herself. After being all but monitored 24/7 by her parents, she’d gone off to college and . . . studied. She hadn’t partied her ass off and f**ked one guy after another. She’d gone to college and gotten an education. And then a master’s degree after that.
She had no history of drugs or violence or hanging out with gangs.
So what the f**k was she doing here with this gang?
He supposed he could just ask her. But what if for some reason she was embedded in the Hellraisers for a reason? Hell, for all he knew she’d been paired up with him to test him, since he’d asked Bo to get back in the gang.
Her whole innocent act could be just that—an act. She could be lying to him about everything—including the four guys she’d fucked.
Which meant he was going to have to keep doing what he was doing. He’d have to stay close to her to figure out her angle, without revealing his own.
Dammit, he hated being in the dark.
“You’re quiet over there.”
He lifted his head to look over at her. God, she was beautiful. He really couldn’t get over her. Today she wore a burgundy turtleneck sweater that clung to those gorgeous br**sts of hers, tight jeans that molded to her full h*ps and thighs and outlined her sweet ass just perfectly. He’d enjoyed walking behind her as they were led to the table. She’d left her hair loose, and it hung like a waterfall of raven silk over her breasts.
He could stare at her all day and not say a damn word. But that wasn’t what he was supposed to do, so instead, he grinned. “Sorry. I really was hungry.”
“I can see that. I was afraid you were going to lick your plate.”
He looked down at his empty plate, then over at her partially finished one. “I thought about grabbing that last piece of bacon.”
She picked it up and offered it to him. “Be my guest.”
He took it from her. “Thanks.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know where you put it all. There isn’t an ounce of fat on you. Do you work out or run or something?”
“I work out when I can.”
“I thought you rode a lot.”
“I do. But you can’t ride twenty-four hours a day. And wherever I go I make sure there’s a gym where I can go a few rounds in the ring.”
“You box?”
He nodded and pushed his plate to the edge of the table. “It’s great exercise.”
“I’ll bet.”
“What about you? What do you do for fun?”
“Yoga.”
“That figures. You look like the spiritual guru, get-into-the-head kind of person.”
She laughed. “It’s not at all like that. Well, it can be. But it’s a great muscle workout, too. And it relaxes me.”
“If you say so.”
“You should try it with me sometime.”
“Can we do it na**d?”
She looked at him, then burst out laughing. “Only you would suggest that.”
“That’s why you like me.”
She quirked her lips. “Probably.”
“Hey, you two snuck out of our room last night and missed all the partying.”
Ava looked up to find Lacey leaning over her shoulder. “You and Bo were kind of busy.”
Lacey fell into the chair next to her and grinned. “Yeah, we were. We just got up. Oh my God, what a fun night.” She grabbed Ava’s hand. “You should have stayed. We could have had a . . . sixsome.” Then she laughed so loud that the customers in the restaurant began to look their way.
Ava shifted and leaned over the table, whispering. “Probably not something you want broadcast to the entire place.”
Lacey waved her hand and sniffed. “Oh, who cares. Bunch of prudes, anyway. So, did you and Rick get it on?”
Who was this person?
“I don’t think Ava’s interested in giving you the details of her sex life,” Rick said, saving Ava from having to tell her best friend that she was being too intrusive.
“Why not? Oh, I know, because Ava rarely even has a sex life.” Lacey snorted.
Ava’s face flamed, and she fought hard to retain her concern for her friend. “Lace, have you eaten yet?”
Lacey’s gaze flitted around the room, as if she’d just now discovered she was in a restaurant. “Oh. No. I’m not even hungry.” She laughed again. “What time is it?”
“Ten.”
“That early? What the hell am I doing up? I thought it was like . . . afternoon or something. I think I’ll go back to bed.” She pushed back from her chair and stood, then walked away without saying good-bye.
Ava watched her go, concerned more than ever about Lacey’s increasingly bizarre behavior.
“She always that disjointed?” Rick asked.
“No.”
Rick leaned back and leveled his gaze at her.
“What?”
“You’re worried about her.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why?”
“Because who you just saw is not the Lacey I’ve always known.”
“Yeah. Who is she?”
Ava watched Lacey disappear, then blew out a breath of frustration.
“I wish I knew, Rick. I really wish I knew.”
Because the way things looked now, it was much worse than Ava had originally thought. She had thought it was just love that had changed Lacey from studious to flighty.
Now she feared it was more than that.
And a lot worse.
NINE
Rick studied the concern on Ava’s face, and wondered if her friend Lacey was the primary reason for Ava being with the Hellraisers.
Not to irritate her father, not because she was involved in drug distribution.
But because she was concerned about her friend.
He’d have to walk a fine line here, but he intended to find out. And he hoped that Ava was in the mood to talk.
“Let’s head on out of here.” He pushed his chair back and stood. Ava followed.
“So tell me, what’s different about her?” he asked as they headed toward the elevator.
She stepped inside, waited while Rick pushed the button and the doors swooshed closed, then turned to him, seemingly eager to unload her concerns on someone. He was glad to be that person.
“She’s frenetic. All over the place. Lacey used to be calm, organized. And shy. Oh so shy. Does she seem shy to you now?”
Rick laughed. “Uh, no. Not from what I saw in their room last night.”
“Exactly. Everything about her changed after she . . .”
“After she what?”
She hesitated. “I don’t want to make you mad.”
He cocked his head to the side. “How could you make me mad?”
“It’s about Bo.”
“You can be blunt with me about whatever you want, Ava, including Bo. Say what’s on your mind.”
“Everything changed after she met your cousin.”
The doors opened and they started down the hallway toward their rooms. “And you think it has something to do with Lacey hooking up with Bo.”
“Yes. As soon as she started dating Bo, her entire life changed.”
She handed her key to Rick and he opened her door. Ava slid into the chair near the window and Rick took the chair on the other side of the small table. Sunlight streamed into the room, highlighting her hair and face. She didn’t turn away like she had something to hide, instead leaned into the light like she was soaking up the warmth.
“Tell me how her life changed.”
“She quit school. We were in the master’s program together, and she dropped out with only one year to go.”
“Was she struggling?”
Ava let out a short laugh. “Not at all. Lacey was an ace student with plans far into the future for both her academics and her career as a psychologist. But after she met Bo and started riding with the Hellraisers, everything changed.”
Rick shrugged. “People grow up, Ava. Sometimes that happens. What they thought they wanted when they were younger is sometimes altered when they get a little age and experience in them.”
“I realize that. But not Lacey. She knew what she wanted to do, what she wanted to be. She was focused, had short- and long-term goals. She knew on Monday what she was going to do on Friday.”
“A little anal?”
Ava managed a slight smile. “A little. But I’ve known her all my life. I know how she thinks, how she acts. The woman you saw downstairs isn’t anything like her.”
“And you think that has something to do with her relationship with Bo?”
Ava worried her lip, hesitating.
“You can talk to me without worrying I’m going to go running to Bo. I don’t tell him anything.”
She nodded. “I think joining the Hellraisers had everything to do with her change in personality, but I don’t think it’s just Bo.”
He didn’t want to ask leading questions, so he just let the silence drift between them and gave her time to think it out.
“Her eyes were so glassy. And we knew they were smoking pot last night.”
“Yes.”
She waved her hand in the air. “But that wears off. And it wouldn’t account for her frenetic behavior. She’s been sniffling a lot. Her nose is irritated.”
He knew where she was going, but he wanted her to say it.
“I think she’s taking drugs.”
“Really.”
“Yeah.” She looked down at her hands for a while, played with the cuticle on one of her fingernails, then swept her gaze back up to Rick. “She never even liked to take acetaminophen for a headache, Rick. So how could she make such a drastic change?”
Now he knew he’d have to say something. “Drugs alter people’s perception of things.”
“Do they? I don’t know. I’ve never known anyone who took them.”
“I’ve known plenty of people who have. It changes them.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out the window. “I don’t know what to do for her.” She looked at him. “I mean, I do, from a professional standpoint. But she’s my friend.”
He nodded. “It’s different when it’s someone you’re close to. You lose your objectivity.”
“So what do I do?”
“You can’t make her stop taking drugs if that’s what she’s doing. All you can do is talk to her, see if she’ll open up to you, then try to make her see the reality of it.”
“I know all that. But I want her to stop. Right now. Selfishly, I want her to be the old Lacey—the one I grew up with, the one I’ve been friends with since we were kids.”
“That person is gone, Ava. That’s the first thing you’re going to have to accept. Time and experience changes a person. You’ll have to learn to live with Lacey as she is now, and move forward.”
He saw the shimmer of tears in her eyes and wished he could wipe them away. But if Lacey was on drugs, then what he’d told Ava was the truth. Only Lacey could help herself. Ava could only be there to support her. Deep down, Ava knew that. It might take her a while to come to grips with it, though.
She sighed. “How did you get to be so wise? You’re almost like a counselor yourself.”
He laughed. “Me? Hardly. I’ve just been on the streets a long time. Seen a lot. Know when to get involved and know when to back away. Sometimes you can lend a hand, and sometimes just an ear. You learn to recognize the difference.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She went over to him and sat on his lap. “For being willing to listen. We don’t know each other all that well. And I don’t have many—any—friends. Except Lacey. We used to confide in each other. There’s been a void in the year she’s been out of my life. I hadn’t realized until now how much I’ve missed having someone to talk to.”
