Rising Tides
Page 37
And now, she thought, she had the opportunity to become good friends with a woman she admired and believed she would enjoy.
When Grace and Aubrey came back into the room, she smiled. "You hear stories about toilet training being a nightmare for everyone involved."
"There are hits and misses." Grace gave Aubrey a quick squeeze before setting her down. "Aubrey's such a good girl, aren't you, sweetie?"
"I didn't wet my pants. I get a nickel for the piggy bank." When Anna roared with laughter, Grace winced good-naturedly. "And bribery works."
"I'm all for it."
"I should finish up."
"Are you in a hurry?"
"Not really." Cautious, Grace glanced at the kitchen clock. By her judgment, Ethan shouldn't be back for at least an hour.
"Maybe you could keep me company while I put this sauce together."
"I suppose I could." It had been… she couldn't remember how long it had been since she'd just sat in the kitchen with another woman. The simplicity of it nearly made her sigh. "There's a show that Aubrey likes to watch that's just coming on. Is it all right if I settle her down with it? I can do the rest of the vacuuming when it's over."
"Great." Anna slid her tomatoes into the pot to let them simmer and soften.
"I've never made spaghetti sauce from scratch," Grace said when she came back in. "I mean, all the way from fresh tomatoes."
"Takes more time, but it's worth it. Grace, I hope you don't mind, but I heard what happened the other night at the bar where you work."
Surprise made Grace blink and forget to memorize the ingredients Anna had set out. "Ethan told you?"
"No. You have to pull on Ethan's tongue to get him to tell anything." Anna wiped her hands on the bib apron she'd put on. "I don't want to pry, but I have some experience with sexual assault. I want you to know you can talk to me if you need to."
"It wasn't as bad as it could have been. If Ethan hadn't been there…" She trailed off, discovered that thinking about it still made her cold inside. "Well, he was. I should have been more careful." Anna had a quick flash of a dark road, the bite of gravel against her back as she was shoved to the ground. "It's a mistake to blame yourself."
"Oh, I don't—not that way. I didn't deserve what he tried to do. I didn't encourage him. The fact is, I made it clear I wasn't interested in him or his hotel bed. But I should have locked up after Steve left. I wasn't thinking, and that was careless."
"I'm glad you weren't hurt."
"I could have been. I can't afford to be careless." She glanced to the doorway where the bright music and Aubrey's brighter laughter came through. "I've got too much at stake."
"Single parenting's hard. I see the problems that can come out of it all the time. You're brilliant at it." Now it wasn't surprise, but shock. No one had ever called her brilliant at anything. "I just… do."
"Yes." Anna smiled. "My mother died when I was eleven, but before that she was a single parent. When I look back and remember, I see that she was brilliant at it too. She just did. I hope I'm half as good at
'just doing' as both of you when I have a child."
"Are you and Cam planning on it?"
"I'm good at planning," Anna said with a laugh. "I want to give just being married a little time, but yes, I want children." She looked out the window to where the flowers she'd planted were blooming. "This is a wonderful place to raise kids. You knew Ray and Stella Quinn?"
"Oh, yes. They were wonderful people. I still miss them."
"I wish I'd known them."
"They'd have liked you."
"Do you think?"
"They'd have liked you for yourself," Grace told her. "And they'd have loved what you've done for the family. You helped bring them back together. I think they got a little lost for a while—after Dr. Quinn died. Maybe they all had to go their own way, just like they had to come back."
"Ethan stayed."
"He's rooted here—in the water, like eelgrass. But he drifted, too. And spent too much time alone. His house is around the bend that the river takes away from the waterfront."
"I've never seen it."
"It's tucked away," Grace murmured. "He likes his privacy. Sometimes on a quiet night if I went walking, when I was carrying Aubrey, I could hear him play his music. Just catch the notes on the air if the wind was right. It sounded lonely. Lovely and lonely."
Eyes that were dazzled by love saw some things with perfect clarity. "How long have you been in love with him?"
"Seems like all my life," Grace murmured, then caught herself. "I didn't mean to say that."
"Too late. You haven't told him?"
"No." At even the thought of it, Grace's heart clutched in panic. "I shouldn't be talking about this. He'd hate it. It'd embarrass him."
"Well, he's not here, is he?" Amused and delighted, Anna beamed. "I think it's terrific."
"It's not. It's awful. It's just awful." Horrified, she pressed a hand to her mouth to hold back a sudden and unexpected rush of tears. "I ruined it. Ruined everything, and now he doesn't even want to be around me."
"Oh, Grace." Flooded with sympathy, Anna abandoned her chopping to wrap her arms tight around Grace's stiff form, then nudged her toward a chair. "I can't believe that."
"It's true. He told me to stay away." Her voice hitched, mortifying her. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's got into me. I never cry."
"Then it's time you broke tradition." Anna tore off a couple of sheets of paper towels and offered them.
"Go ahead, you'll feel better."
"I feel so stupid." With the dam broken, Grace sobbed into the paper towels.
"There's nothing to feel stupid about."
"There is, there is. I made it so we can't even be friends anymore."
"How did you do that?" Anna asked gently.
"I was pushing myself at him. I guess I thought—after the night he kissed me…"
When Grace and Aubrey came back into the room, she smiled. "You hear stories about toilet training being a nightmare for everyone involved."
"There are hits and misses." Grace gave Aubrey a quick squeeze before setting her down. "Aubrey's such a good girl, aren't you, sweetie?"
"I didn't wet my pants. I get a nickel for the piggy bank." When Anna roared with laughter, Grace winced good-naturedly. "And bribery works."
"I'm all for it."
"I should finish up."
"Are you in a hurry?"
"Not really." Cautious, Grace glanced at the kitchen clock. By her judgment, Ethan shouldn't be back for at least an hour.
"Maybe you could keep me company while I put this sauce together."
"I suppose I could." It had been… she couldn't remember how long it had been since she'd just sat in the kitchen with another woman. The simplicity of it nearly made her sigh. "There's a show that Aubrey likes to watch that's just coming on. Is it all right if I settle her down with it? I can do the rest of the vacuuming when it's over."
"Great." Anna slid her tomatoes into the pot to let them simmer and soften.
"I've never made spaghetti sauce from scratch," Grace said when she came back in. "I mean, all the way from fresh tomatoes."
"Takes more time, but it's worth it. Grace, I hope you don't mind, but I heard what happened the other night at the bar where you work."
Surprise made Grace blink and forget to memorize the ingredients Anna had set out. "Ethan told you?"
"No. You have to pull on Ethan's tongue to get him to tell anything." Anna wiped her hands on the bib apron she'd put on. "I don't want to pry, but I have some experience with sexual assault. I want you to know you can talk to me if you need to."
"It wasn't as bad as it could have been. If Ethan hadn't been there…" She trailed off, discovered that thinking about it still made her cold inside. "Well, he was. I should have been more careful." Anna had a quick flash of a dark road, the bite of gravel against her back as she was shoved to the ground. "It's a mistake to blame yourself."
"Oh, I don't—not that way. I didn't deserve what he tried to do. I didn't encourage him. The fact is, I made it clear I wasn't interested in him or his hotel bed. But I should have locked up after Steve left. I wasn't thinking, and that was careless."
"I'm glad you weren't hurt."
"I could have been. I can't afford to be careless." She glanced to the doorway where the bright music and Aubrey's brighter laughter came through. "I've got too much at stake."
"Single parenting's hard. I see the problems that can come out of it all the time. You're brilliant at it." Now it wasn't surprise, but shock. No one had ever called her brilliant at anything. "I just… do."
"Yes." Anna smiled. "My mother died when I was eleven, but before that she was a single parent. When I look back and remember, I see that she was brilliant at it too. She just did. I hope I'm half as good at
'just doing' as both of you when I have a child."
"Are you and Cam planning on it?"
"I'm good at planning," Anna said with a laugh. "I want to give just being married a little time, but yes, I want children." She looked out the window to where the flowers she'd planted were blooming. "This is a wonderful place to raise kids. You knew Ray and Stella Quinn?"
"Oh, yes. They were wonderful people. I still miss them."
"I wish I'd known them."
"They'd have liked you."
"Do you think?"
"They'd have liked you for yourself," Grace told her. "And they'd have loved what you've done for the family. You helped bring them back together. I think they got a little lost for a while—after Dr. Quinn died. Maybe they all had to go their own way, just like they had to come back."
"Ethan stayed."
"He's rooted here—in the water, like eelgrass. But he drifted, too. And spent too much time alone. His house is around the bend that the river takes away from the waterfront."
"I've never seen it."
"It's tucked away," Grace murmured. "He likes his privacy. Sometimes on a quiet night if I went walking, when I was carrying Aubrey, I could hear him play his music. Just catch the notes on the air if the wind was right. It sounded lonely. Lovely and lonely."
Eyes that were dazzled by love saw some things with perfect clarity. "How long have you been in love with him?"
"Seems like all my life," Grace murmured, then caught herself. "I didn't mean to say that."
"Too late. You haven't told him?"
"No." At even the thought of it, Grace's heart clutched in panic. "I shouldn't be talking about this. He'd hate it. It'd embarrass him."
"Well, he's not here, is he?" Amused and delighted, Anna beamed. "I think it's terrific."
"It's not. It's awful. It's just awful." Horrified, she pressed a hand to her mouth to hold back a sudden and unexpected rush of tears. "I ruined it. Ruined everything, and now he doesn't even want to be around me."
"Oh, Grace." Flooded with sympathy, Anna abandoned her chopping to wrap her arms tight around Grace's stiff form, then nudged her toward a chair. "I can't believe that."
"It's true. He told me to stay away." Her voice hitched, mortifying her. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's got into me. I never cry."
"Then it's time you broke tradition." Anna tore off a couple of sheets of paper towels and offered them.
"Go ahead, you'll feel better."
"I feel so stupid." With the dam broken, Grace sobbed into the paper towels.
"There's nothing to feel stupid about."
"There is, there is. I made it so we can't even be friends anymore."
"How did you do that?" Anna asked gently.
"I was pushing myself at him. I guess I thought—after the night he kissed me…"
