Rock Chick Regret
Page 129
“I don’t know what to do with that, either,” I said back.
“Seth didn’t come over with your Mom. He wasn’t social.” Malcolm started talking and my eyes moved from Hector to Malcolm. “But we knew him, sometimes he’d come out to dinner or pick Lizzie up from a barbeque and stay for a beer. He wasn’t a mellow guy, he wasn’t laidback, but he wasn’t the man he is now, not back then. Losin’ her did that to him. I thought it then, I’m sure of it now.”
I didn’t have time to process that before Vance spoke again.
“I found her stuff.”
I started blinking.
Yes, again.
“Her… stuff?” I asked Vance.
“Her stuff. Your Dad kept it. It’s in a storage unit in Aurora. The unit is filled with clothes, jewelry, shoes, photos, books. It isn’t just filled, it’s preserved. Every piece has been carefully packed away, the unit is temperature controlled, sealed against water damage and it’s fireproof. Units like that cost a fortune.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed, my trembling body starting to shiver.
My father hadn’t gotten rid of every memory of her. He’d kept it.
My father hadn’t killed her. He’d avenged her.
My body went straight, I pulled away from Hector a bit and I looked at Kitty Sue. “Tell me how I was again with my father.”
Kitty Sue looked at Malcolm and she swallowed before looking back to me. “Lizzie used to say she sometimes wondered if you knew she existed. She told me, when you were a baby, Seth used to get up and give you your bottles in the night because you’d cry if she went to you but you’d settle if she handed you to him so he just did it all the time. She said he didn’t mind. She thought he secretly loved it. Anytime you’d fall over, bang yourself on something, you’d always go running to him –”
I shook my head and Kitty Sue stopped talking.
That couldn’t be true.
It was my Mom. It was always my Mom.
“No,” I breathed.
I pulled fully away from Hector and took a few steps into the room.
“Sadie, come here,” Hector called softly.
I turned to him and it all came to me, stuff I hadn’t remembered in years.
I closed my eyes tight against the memories, the strongest of which was how he’d come in after Mom brushed my hair at night and kiss the top of my head, just like Hector.
He’d tuck the bedclothes tight around me and turn out the light.
“‘Night, my beautiful, sweet Sadie,” he’d whisper.
“‘Night, Daddy,” I’d whisper back.
Oh. My. God.
How could I forget?
How?
“I informed on him,” I said to Hector.
Hector jumped down from the counter and came at me but I backed away, putting up a hand.
“When you were undercover and… and… just a few days ago!” I shouted.
“Mi amor, come here.”
I shook my head, still backing away.
“He wanted to be sure I was safe, taken care of, he asked Jerry –”
“He did make sure you were safe,” Hector told me. “If he hadn’t helped, we wouldn’t have flushed the Balduccis out yesterday. It would have taken days, maybe weeks before we got them.”
I stopped my retreat and stared at Hector, not sure I heard him correctly.
“What?” I asked.
Hector stopped too but he kept talking. “Vance and I went to see him yesterday.”
At this announcement, my mouth dropped open but Hector kept going.
“Jerry had aligned himself with Donny. I told Seth that and he gave us everything. They were hidin’ in one of his safe houses, he has three. Vance and I hit one. Lee and Luke another one. Mace and Monty hit the third, where they were stayin’, but they must have got word and they cleared out before Mace and Monty got there. Then they panicked. Ricky came after me. Thinkin’ that Marty gave them up, Donny shot him but he got away, came to us for protection. Donny followed but knowin’ they were f**ked, he played out a last ditch effort at vengeance, guessin’, correctly, we had you.”
I was stuck on an earlier point.
“You went to see my father?” I asked.
Hector nodded. “Yeah.”
“He talked to you?”
“He gave me everything.”
I couldn’t believe this because, frankly, it was absolutely, positively, unbelievable.
“He helped you?”
Hector nodded again, watching me closely.
“You?” I repeated.
“Me,” Hector replied.
“For me,” I whispered.
“For you.”
I pulled in my lips and I felt the tears hit the back of my eyes, stinging there.
“I’m not going to cry!” I yelled then, damn and blast, blast, blast, I promptly burst into tears. “Fuck!” I shouted and found myself in Hector’s arms. “I’m crying,” I told Hector’s chest unnecessarily, my arms wrapping around his waist and my body pressing against his.
“Cry, mi cielo, who gives a f**k?” Hector said over my head.
“I do! I’m sick of crying! But he’s been… he’s been…” I choked then hiccupped. “He’s been trying to get hold of me and I haven’t even gone to see him!” Even though the last bout of tears hadn’t yet gone stale, I burst into fresh ones all the same.
Hector’s arms grew tighter.
“We’ll go next visiting day. I’ll take you.”
I was shocked at this offer, so much, my tears ceased immediately. I tilted my head back, looked at Hector through blurry eyes and asked, “You will?”
I was pretty certain he nodded.
“I can’t believe he helped you,” I whispered.
“He helped you,” Hector amended. “He didn’t help me and he didn’t like seein’ me either. It wasn’t like he invited me to Christmas dinner at the big house.”
I couldn’t help it, what he said was funny, so, through my waning tears, I burst out laughing.
“Christmas dinner at the big house?” I repeated, still giggling.
One of Hector’s hands came up and wiped at my tears. He grinned but he didn’t respond.
“Do you think he knows I informed on him with you?”
Hector’s gaze went from my cheeks to my eyes. “No.”
“Why wasn’t he angry that my Mom betrayed him?” I asked, as if Hector would know.
Apparently Hector did know because he answered.
“Seth didn’t come over with your Mom. He wasn’t social.” Malcolm started talking and my eyes moved from Hector to Malcolm. “But we knew him, sometimes he’d come out to dinner or pick Lizzie up from a barbeque and stay for a beer. He wasn’t a mellow guy, he wasn’t laidback, but he wasn’t the man he is now, not back then. Losin’ her did that to him. I thought it then, I’m sure of it now.”
I didn’t have time to process that before Vance spoke again.
“I found her stuff.”
I started blinking.
Yes, again.
“Her… stuff?” I asked Vance.
“Her stuff. Your Dad kept it. It’s in a storage unit in Aurora. The unit is filled with clothes, jewelry, shoes, photos, books. It isn’t just filled, it’s preserved. Every piece has been carefully packed away, the unit is temperature controlled, sealed against water damage and it’s fireproof. Units like that cost a fortune.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed, my trembling body starting to shiver.
My father hadn’t gotten rid of every memory of her. He’d kept it.
My father hadn’t killed her. He’d avenged her.
My body went straight, I pulled away from Hector a bit and I looked at Kitty Sue. “Tell me how I was again with my father.”
Kitty Sue looked at Malcolm and she swallowed before looking back to me. “Lizzie used to say she sometimes wondered if you knew she existed. She told me, when you were a baby, Seth used to get up and give you your bottles in the night because you’d cry if she went to you but you’d settle if she handed you to him so he just did it all the time. She said he didn’t mind. She thought he secretly loved it. Anytime you’d fall over, bang yourself on something, you’d always go running to him –”
I shook my head and Kitty Sue stopped talking.
That couldn’t be true.
It was my Mom. It was always my Mom.
“No,” I breathed.
I pulled fully away from Hector and took a few steps into the room.
“Sadie, come here,” Hector called softly.
I turned to him and it all came to me, stuff I hadn’t remembered in years.
I closed my eyes tight against the memories, the strongest of which was how he’d come in after Mom brushed my hair at night and kiss the top of my head, just like Hector.
He’d tuck the bedclothes tight around me and turn out the light.
“‘Night, my beautiful, sweet Sadie,” he’d whisper.
“‘Night, Daddy,” I’d whisper back.
Oh. My. God.
How could I forget?
How?
“I informed on him,” I said to Hector.
Hector jumped down from the counter and came at me but I backed away, putting up a hand.
“When you were undercover and… and… just a few days ago!” I shouted.
“Mi amor, come here.”
I shook my head, still backing away.
“He wanted to be sure I was safe, taken care of, he asked Jerry –”
“He did make sure you were safe,” Hector told me. “If he hadn’t helped, we wouldn’t have flushed the Balduccis out yesterday. It would have taken days, maybe weeks before we got them.”
I stopped my retreat and stared at Hector, not sure I heard him correctly.
“What?” I asked.
Hector stopped too but he kept talking. “Vance and I went to see him yesterday.”
At this announcement, my mouth dropped open but Hector kept going.
“Jerry had aligned himself with Donny. I told Seth that and he gave us everything. They were hidin’ in one of his safe houses, he has three. Vance and I hit one. Lee and Luke another one. Mace and Monty hit the third, where they were stayin’, but they must have got word and they cleared out before Mace and Monty got there. Then they panicked. Ricky came after me. Thinkin’ that Marty gave them up, Donny shot him but he got away, came to us for protection. Donny followed but knowin’ they were f**ked, he played out a last ditch effort at vengeance, guessin’, correctly, we had you.”
I was stuck on an earlier point.
“You went to see my father?” I asked.
Hector nodded. “Yeah.”
“He talked to you?”
“He gave me everything.”
I couldn’t believe this because, frankly, it was absolutely, positively, unbelievable.
“He helped you?”
Hector nodded again, watching me closely.
“You?” I repeated.
“Me,” Hector replied.
“For me,” I whispered.
“For you.”
I pulled in my lips and I felt the tears hit the back of my eyes, stinging there.
“I’m not going to cry!” I yelled then, damn and blast, blast, blast, I promptly burst into tears. “Fuck!” I shouted and found myself in Hector’s arms. “I’m crying,” I told Hector’s chest unnecessarily, my arms wrapping around his waist and my body pressing against his.
“Cry, mi cielo, who gives a f**k?” Hector said over my head.
“I do! I’m sick of crying! But he’s been… he’s been…” I choked then hiccupped. “He’s been trying to get hold of me and I haven’t even gone to see him!” Even though the last bout of tears hadn’t yet gone stale, I burst into fresh ones all the same.
Hector’s arms grew tighter.
“We’ll go next visiting day. I’ll take you.”
I was shocked at this offer, so much, my tears ceased immediately. I tilted my head back, looked at Hector through blurry eyes and asked, “You will?”
I was pretty certain he nodded.
“I can’t believe he helped you,” I whispered.
“He helped you,” Hector amended. “He didn’t help me and he didn’t like seein’ me either. It wasn’t like he invited me to Christmas dinner at the big house.”
I couldn’t help it, what he said was funny, so, through my waning tears, I burst out laughing.
“Christmas dinner at the big house?” I repeated, still giggling.
One of Hector’s hands came up and wiped at my tears. He grinned but he didn’t respond.
“Do you think he knows I informed on him with you?”
Hector’s gaze went from my cheeks to my eyes. “No.”
“Why wasn’t he angry that my Mom betrayed him?” I asked, as if Hector would know.
Apparently Hector did know because he answered.
