Rock Chick Renegade
Page 76
“I don’t want a beer,” he said.
“Coffee?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“No,” he replied.
Something had changed in the room, the air had started crackling. Before I could put my finger on it or do anything to disburse it, Luke was so in my space, he was my space, arms around me, mouth on mine, kissing me.
Instinctively I put my arms around his neck. He walked me back, hands moving up my sides, across my back, over my ass, all this time his tongue in my mouth. I felt my thighs hit the arm of the couch and we both went over and down, Luke controlling the fall with an arm out. Then his body settled on mine.
My heart was pumping with adrenalin and excitement both at the night’s activities and the couch activities.
He was good with his mouth, different than Vance, less intense, more titillating, almost teasing. His lips were always there but his tongue was playing with mine, giving me a taste of something hot then disappearing when I wanted more, making me go after it. Eventually his mouth disengaged from mine and went down my neck and his hands went up my shirt. I shivered and returned the gesture, liking the feel of the skin and muscle of his back.
His tongue was doing things behind my ear that felt good and I liked it, wanted it, wanted him.
And then just as quickly as I realized that, I didn’t want it.
Then I kid you not, I started crying for the first time since Auntie Reba died. I couldn’t have helped it if I tried but I didn’t even try. I was just too tired of holding them back.
I turned my head, put my lips to his neck and said quietly, “Luke.”
At the sound of his name, his tongue stopped and he turned his head to look at me. He watched me for a few seconds while the tears slid down the sides of my eyes.
Then he said, his voice soft and not angry, “Not normally the reaction I get, babe.”
My hands left the inside of his tee and one arm wrapped around his waist, the other hand went to the back of his head.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He didn’t answer. He rolled to the side, back to the couch and pulled us up so we were full-on the couch. He kept his arms around me and I pressed my cheek to his chest. I took deep breaths and after a few minutes controlled the tears.
After I’d done that, I tilted my head back to look at him. “You want a beer?” I asked, voice still quiet.
He used his thumb to wipe the tears from my face and when he was done, he kissed my nose. Then he said, “Yeah.”
I nodded, pulled away, got up and got us both a beer.
When I walked back into the living room, the TV was on, the sound low, some action movie with explosions was playing. I gave him the beer, sat down beside him and yanked off my boots. When I settled back into the couch, he pulled me into his body, arm around my shoulders.
Boo jumped up and I lifted my legs to the couch and curled into Luke’s warmth, head on his shoulder. Boo settled in the space between us and I stroked him.
I wasn’t afraid I was giving mixed messages. Instinctively I understood that Luke knew the score, knew I needed not to be alone and was offering me that and nothing else.
It was kind. It was huge. It was as un-badass as it could get and therefore even more badass than ever.
I’d never forget it and I’d always be thankful for it.
I drank my beer. Luke drank his. I put the empty bottle on the pub set and watched the movie.
Then I fell asleep cuddled into Luke.
* * * * *
“Babe,” Luke said low.
I opened my eyes and looked up.
He’d reclined on the couch and I was tucked into his side, my back against the couch, my head on his chest.
“Bed,” Luke said.
I nodded.
We got up and he walked to the door taking me with him, arm around my shoulders. He stopped at the door, kissed my nose and looked at me a beat. I bit my lip.
“Jules,” he said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
He stared at me a moment before answering. “I was playin’ a game,” he told me.
It was my turn to stare at him. Somehow that hurt and I didn’t need any more of that. I had way, way too much of that.
“Now,” he went on, “I don’t know what the f**k I’m doin’.”
Oh my God.
Neither of us said anything. There wasn’t anything to say.
Then without another word, he was gone.
I locked the door behind him, armed the alarm and got ready for bed in the bathroom.
I settled in bed, Boo curled into the small of my back.
I felt sadness seep through me, no anticipation, no hope. I knew Vance wasn’t breaking in.
I worried about Luke and me. I liked him, he was cool and he was funny and in an alternate universe I knew something would have happened.
It couldn’t, not now.
I was in love with Vance.
How did that happen?
I lay in bed knowing I was hugely f**ked. Somehow my life had gone totally out of control. The Fortnum’s gang of Rock Chicks had adopted me. The Nightingale Investigation Team had accepted me. Luke wanted me. And all of this had Vance tied up in it and that hurt me.
I definitely needed to round up Roam and Sniff and get my ass to Nicaragua.
I pulled a pillow to my stomach, hugged it close and tilted my head to stare at the moonlight.
With effort I forced my mind to still.
Then I fell asleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Hush
I was certain I was awake though I hadn’t opened my eyes and I knew with a sleepy body scan that I couldn’t be.
There was heat at my back and a weight on my hip. It was full-on heat, definitely not Boo. I snuggled backwards into it figuring if I was going to have a good dream, I was going to go for the gusto.
The weight at my hip moved, slid up to my waist then down, curling around my belly. The heat behind me was solid. Both I knew were no dream.
My eyes opened.
Then I turned.
Vance was in bed with me.
He was awake, very awake and staring at me, face blank. I was also now very awake and staring at him, face probably not blank.
My heart had stopped. I felt something crawling through my system, something weird, good mingled with bad.
Fear and hope.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered.
I had turned within his arm. It was still around my waist, hand curled into my hip against the bed. When I asked my question, his fingers bit into my hip as they tightened.
“Had duty in the surveillance room last night,” was Vance’s mysterious answer.
I blinked at him. Then I remembered.
Oh my God.
The cameras.
How in the hell was I always forgetting the cameras?
“Coffee?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“No,” he replied.
Something had changed in the room, the air had started crackling. Before I could put my finger on it or do anything to disburse it, Luke was so in my space, he was my space, arms around me, mouth on mine, kissing me.
Instinctively I put my arms around his neck. He walked me back, hands moving up my sides, across my back, over my ass, all this time his tongue in my mouth. I felt my thighs hit the arm of the couch and we both went over and down, Luke controlling the fall with an arm out. Then his body settled on mine.
My heart was pumping with adrenalin and excitement both at the night’s activities and the couch activities.
He was good with his mouth, different than Vance, less intense, more titillating, almost teasing. His lips were always there but his tongue was playing with mine, giving me a taste of something hot then disappearing when I wanted more, making me go after it. Eventually his mouth disengaged from mine and went down my neck and his hands went up my shirt. I shivered and returned the gesture, liking the feel of the skin and muscle of his back.
His tongue was doing things behind my ear that felt good and I liked it, wanted it, wanted him.
And then just as quickly as I realized that, I didn’t want it.
Then I kid you not, I started crying for the first time since Auntie Reba died. I couldn’t have helped it if I tried but I didn’t even try. I was just too tired of holding them back.
I turned my head, put my lips to his neck and said quietly, “Luke.”
At the sound of his name, his tongue stopped and he turned his head to look at me. He watched me for a few seconds while the tears slid down the sides of my eyes.
Then he said, his voice soft and not angry, “Not normally the reaction I get, babe.”
My hands left the inside of his tee and one arm wrapped around his waist, the other hand went to the back of his head.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He didn’t answer. He rolled to the side, back to the couch and pulled us up so we were full-on the couch. He kept his arms around me and I pressed my cheek to his chest. I took deep breaths and after a few minutes controlled the tears.
After I’d done that, I tilted my head back to look at him. “You want a beer?” I asked, voice still quiet.
He used his thumb to wipe the tears from my face and when he was done, he kissed my nose. Then he said, “Yeah.”
I nodded, pulled away, got up and got us both a beer.
When I walked back into the living room, the TV was on, the sound low, some action movie with explosions was playing. I gave him the beer, sat down beside him and yanked off my boots. When I settled back into the couch, he pulled me into his body, arm around my shoulders.
Boo jumped up and I lifted my legs to the couch and curled into Luke’s warmth, head on his shoulder. Boo settled in the space between us and I stroked him.
I wasn’t afraid I was giving mixed messages. Instinctively I understood that Luke knew the score, knew I needed not to be alone and was offering me that and nothing else.
It was kind. It was huge. It was as un-badass as it could get and therefore even more badass than ever.
I’d never forget it and I’d always be thankful for it.
I drank my beer. Luke drank his. I put the empty bottle on the pub set and watched the movie.
Then I fell asleep cuddled into Luke.
* * * * *
“Babe,” Luke said low.
I opened my eyes and looked up.
He’d reclined on the couch and I was tucked into his side, my back against the couch, my head on his chest.
“Bed,” Luke said.
I nodded.
We got up and he walked to the door taking me with him, arm around my shoulders. He stopped at the door, kissed my nose and looked at me a beat. I bit my lip.
“Jules,” he said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
He stared at me a moment before answering. “I was playin’ a game,” he told me.
It was my turn to stare at him. Somehow that hurt and I didn’t need any more of that. I had way, way too much of that.
“Now,” he went on, “I don’t know what the f**k I’m doin’.”
Oh my God.
Neither of us said anything. There wasn’t anything to say.
Then without another word, he was gone.
I locked the door behind him, armed the alarm and got ready for bed in the bathroom.
I settled in bed, Boo curled into the small of my back.
I felt sadness seep through me, no anticipation, no hope. I knew Vance wasn’t breaking in.
I worried about Luke and me. I liked him, he was cool and he was funny and in an alternate universe I knew something would have happened.
It couldn’t, not now.
I was in love with Vance.
How did that happen?
I lay in bed knowing I was hugely f**ked. Somehow my life had gone totally out of control. The Fortnum’s gang of Rock Chicks had adopted me. The Nightingale Investigation Team had accepted me. Luke wanted me. And all of this had Vance tied up in it and that hurt me.
I definitely needed to round up Roam and Sniff and get my ass to Nicaragua.
I pulled a pillow to my stomach, hugged it close and tilted my head to stare at the moonlight.
With effort I forced my mind to still.
Then I fell asleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Hush
I was certain I was awake though I hadn’t opened my eyes and I knew with a sleepy body scan that I couldn’t be.
There was heat at my back and a weight on my hip. It was full-on heat, definitely not Boo. I snuggled backwards into it figuring if I was going to have a good dream, I was going to go for the gusto.
The weight at my hip moved, slid up to my waist then down, curling around my belly. The heat behind me was solid. Both I knew were no dream.
My eyes opened.
Then I turned.
Vance was in bed with me.
He was awake, very awake and staring at me, face blank. I was also now very awake and staring at him, face probably not blank.
My heart had stopped. I felt something crawling through my system, something weird, good mingled with bad.
Fear and hope.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered.
I had turned within his arm. It was still around my waist, hand curled into my hip against the bed. When I asked my question, his fingers bit into my hip as they tightened.
“Had duty in the surveillance room last night,” was Vance’s mysterious answer.
I blinked at him. Then I remembered.
Oh my God.
The cameras.
How in the hell was I always forgetting the cameras?
