Rock Me
Page 39
“At the moment, it seems they’re fleeting too. But even if they weren’t, I can’t see trading what he makes me feel for what they just did. I’ll take five minutes with him over a lifetime with them any day. There’s no contest. I think I just now came to that realization, but there you go.”
Michelle sighed. “Fair enough. Look, I wish things could be different for you. I always have. I’ll try to talk to them tonight, but they’re pretty unreachable. It didn’t work when I was with him, either.”
“Did they do something to sabotage you two?”
Her cousin’s lips thinned out a bit, tilting up at one corner. “They like to think they bribed me away. But the truth is, Brian and I were already over, and I could sense that. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been anything they could do.”
“I see. Don’t bother talking to them. You’re right, it won’t matter. I’ll see you later.”
Dropping the rest of the way into the car seat, she slammed the door and cranked the ignition. Michelle watched her for a moment before turning to head back in for the remainder of the festivities.
Her cousin had taken it reasonably well. Candace should be relieved that part was over and done with, but she wasn’t. Her insides felt shredded. The exhaustion that settled over her wasn’t sudden, because she’d been feeling it for days. It was more acute now without the adrenaline rushing through her blood.
Tomorrow, oh, God. Tomorrow. Walking down the aisle to stand next to the woman who’d just belittled her. Walking out beside a guy who might have raped her if no one had bothered to intervene. Not only that, but her parents actually expected her to spend the weekend with him at the lake house? Where she would be fighting off his wandering hands and her mother’s matchmaking for two whole days? She doubted his invitation would be rescinded for something so insignificant as mauling her. Why, that might be rude.
A fresh flood of tears blinded her, and she had to pull over before she’d even gotten to the end of the winding driveway. It was fifteen minutes before the violence of her sobs subsided. By then she hurt all over: her shoulders, her chest, her stomach…especially her stomach. She pulled out onto the road only to ditch it after half a mile to throw open her door and retch. Crying that much had always made her sick.
No one called her cell phone. No one tried to check on her. When she reached her apartment, there were no messages on her machine. Sam would be available if she wanted to talk, but despite her need for someone to care, she didn’t really want to interact. Macy was definitely not someone she needed to hear from right now, since she usually sided with the “well meaning” family. Candace snorted as she pulled PJs from a drawer. If Macy loved them so much, and vice versa, it was unfortunate she hadn’t grown up with them.
Truthfully, there was only one person she needed to hear from tonight. But he wasn’t available, hadn’t been since that night in his truck two weeks ago. So quickly, she’d found him and lost him again.
As she crawled into bed, she pulled the pillow Brian had slept on over the top of her own and let her tears leak helplessly onto it. Whimpered his name stupidly like a child needing her security blanket.
The damned misery of it was that she was defending a relationship she didn’t even have. It would be entirely different if Brian had been here waiting when she got home, if he’d opened his arms and taken her to bed and snuggled her close all night. The shit with her family would have been bearable. Hell, she might not have even cared all that much, it would’ve been more of the same. If she’d only known he loved her.
She’d brought her cell phone to bed with her, and now she flipped it open, squinting at the sudden brightness of the display in the dark of her room. She rubbed the tip of her thumb over the keypad. A phone number was like the combination to a safe, he’d said, being silly. What in the hell would she find if she cracked this particular one open? If she called him and asked him to come over, told him how much and how desperately she needed him tonight?
He would probably laugh. No telling what he’d been up to lately. What would he even want with her, the naïve virgin, when he could have his pick of women far more experienced and mature? Women who wouldn’t almost come all over themselves just because he laid a finger on them. He must think she was truly pathetic.
Snapping her phone closed, she flung it to the floor and flopped on her stomach, begging sleep to come. But sleep was being as pissy as everyone else in her life. She saw every hour on the clock even though she had to look fresh and beautiful like a perfect freaking princess for Deanne’s wedding.
By morning, she was ten times as exhausted as the night before. It was only as she shuffled into the kitchen in a stumbling haze that she remembered she was out of coffee.
Today, of all days.
Well, it was a no-brainer. Any other time she might suffer through. But if she didn’t get caffeine inside her body now, they were going to find her out roaming the streets, grabbing people’s heads and moaning, “Braaaiins.”
Not even bothering to change out of her T-shirt and plaid pajama pants, or fix her sloppy ponytail, she slid on her flip-flops, grabbed her purse and hit the door.
Chapter Thirteen
“Too f**king early, dude. What are we leaving so early for?” Ghost caught his yawn with one hand and hauled the bag of ice he was carrying up on the open tailgate of Brian’s truck with the other.
Brian, standing in the bed, grabbed it and gave it a few hard slams against the side to break up the ice before dumping it in the cooler. “Because I want to get there when the gates open.”
“When is that?”
“Two.”
“Then why the hell are we up at the ass crack of dawn?”
“It’s eight-thirty! Stop whining or I’ll take your ass back home. It’ll be noon by the time we get to Dallas if we leave by nine. That doesn’t leave us much time to chill out at Marco’s before we go. Crack open those twelve packs.”
Grumbling to himself, Ghost ripped open the first and began tossing beer cans to Brian one by one. He shoved them as deep in the ice as they could go. It was shaping up to be a scorcher of a day. Even now, the sun was beating down unmercifully on the grocery store parking lot where they stood. Icy cold beverages were going to be a necessity. But it wasn’t all beer, and it damn sure wasn’t for the road. He could just imagine getting pulled over with open alcohol containers in the vehicle. His brother would bury him; it was a fight they had all the time. And Evan thought Brian never listened to him.
Ghost grabbed the next in line, a pack of Dr. Pepper, as Brian watched with a smirk.
“I hope you have sunscreen to rub on that head of yours. You look like a cue ball standing out here.”
“Fuck you, dude. We’re not at work today. I don’t have to put up with your stupid bullshit.”
Brian laughed and, for the first time in two weeks, felt it was genuine. “Will the UV rays bounce right off? Is that your plan?”
“I swear to God…” The soda cans came more forcefully this time, some of them aimed right at his head. The bastard was quick too. Brian had to duck the last one, and it clattered in the bed of the truck. “Oops, sorry.”
“Watch it, motherfu—”
“Hey, hey! Don’t look, man. But I think that’s your little honey sitting over there watching us.”
Michelle sighed. “Fair enough. Look, I wish things could be different for you. I always have. I’ll try to talk to them tonight, but they’re pretty unreachable. It didn’t work when I was with him, either.”
“Did they do something to sabotage you two?”
Her cousin’s lips thinned out a bit, tilting up at one corner. “They like to think they bribed me away. But the truth is, Brian and I were already over, and I could sense that. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been anything they could do.”
“I see. Don’t bother talking to them. You’re right, it won’t matter. I’ll see you later.”
Dropping the rest of the way into the car seat, she slammed the door and cranked the ignition. Michelle watched her for a moment before turning to head back in for the remainder of the festivities.
Her cousin had taken it reasonably well. Candace should be relieved that part was over and done with, but she wasn’t. Her insides felt shredded. The exhaustion that settled over her wasn’t sudden, because she’d been feeling it for days. It was more acute now without the adrenaline rushing through her blood.
Tomorrow, oh, God. Tomorrow. Walking down the aisle to stand next to the woman who’d just belittled her. Walking out beside a guy who might have raped her if no one had bothered to intervene. Not only that, but her parents actually expected her to spend the weekend with him at the lake house? Where she would be fighting off his wandering hands and her mother’s matchmaking for two whole days? She doubted his invitation would be rescinded for something so insignificant as mauling her. Why, that might be rude.
A fresh flood of tears blinded her, and she had to pull over before she’d even gotten to the end of the winding driveway. It was fifteen minutes before the violence of her sobs subsided. By then she hurt all over: her shoulders, her chest, her stomach…especially her stomach. She pulled out onto the road only to ditch it after half a mile to throw open her door and retch. Crying that much had always made her sick.
No one called her cell phone. No one tried to check on her. When she reached her apartment, there were no messages on her machine. Sam would be available if she wanted to talk, but despite her need for someone to care, she didn’t really want to interact. Macy was definitely not someone she needed to hear from right now, since she usually sided with the “well meaning” family. Candace snorted as she pulled PJs from a drawer. If Macy loved them so much, and vice versa, it was unfortunate she hadn’t grown up with them.
Truthfully, there was only one person she needed to hear from tonight. But he wasn’t available, hadn’t been since that night in his truck two weeks ago. So quickly, she’d found him and lost him again.
As she crawled into bed, she pulled the pillow Brian had slept on over the top of her own and let her tears leak helplessly onto it. Whimpered his name stupidly like a child needing her security blanket.
The damned misery of it was that she was defending a relationship she didn’t even have. It would be entirely different if Brian had been here waiting when she got home, if he’d opened his arms and taken her to bed and snuggled her close all night. The shit with her family would have been bearable. Hell, she might not have even cared all that much, it would’ve been more of the same. If she’d only known he loved her.
She’d brought her cell phone to bed with her, and now she flipped it open, squinting at the sudden brightness of the display in the dark of her room. She rubbed the tip of her thumb over the keypad. A phone number was like the combination to a safe, he’d said, being silly. What in the hell would she find if she cracked this particular one open? If she called him and asked him to come over, told him how much and how desperately she needed him tonight?
He would probably laugh. No telling what he’d been up to lately. What would he even want with her, the naïve virgin, when he could have his pick of women far more experienced and mature? Women who wouldn’t almost come all over themselves just because he laid a finger on them. He must think she was truly pathetic.
Snapping her phone closed, she flung it to the floor and flopped on her stomach, begging sleep to come. But sleep was being as pissy as everyone else in her life. She saw every hour on the clock even though she had to look fresh and beautiful like a perfect freaking princess for Deanne’s wedding.
By morning, she was ten times as exhausted as the night before. It was only as she shuffled into the kitchen in a stumbling haze that she remembered she was out of coffee.
Today, of all days.
Well, it was a no-brainer. Any other time she might suffer through. But if she didn’t get caffeine inside her body now, they were going to find her out roaming the streets, grabbing people’s heads and moaning, “Braaaiins.”
Not even bothering to change out of her T-shirt and plaid pajama pants, or fix her sloppy ponytail, she slid on her flip-flops, grabbed her purse and hit the door.
Chapter Thirteen
“Too f**king early, dude. What are we leaving so early for?” Ghost caught his yawn with one hand and hauled the bag of ice he was carrying up on the open tailgate of Brian’s truck with the other.
Brian, standing in the bed, grabbed it and gave it a few hard slams against the side to break up the ice before dumping it in the cooler. “Because I want to get there when the gates open.”
“When is that?”
“Two.”
“Then why the hell are we up at the ass crack of dawn?”
“It’s eight-thirty! Stop whining or I’ll take your ass back home. It’ll be noon by the time we get to Dallas if we leave by nine. That doesn’t leave us much time to chill out at Marco’s before we go. Crack open those twelve packs.”
Grumbling to himself, Ghost ripped open the first and began tossing beer cans to Brian one by one. He shoved them as deep in the ice as they could go. It was shaping up to be a scorcher of a day. Even now, the sun was beating down unmercifully on the grocery store parking lot where they stood. Icy cold beverages were going to be a necessity. But it wasn’t all beer, and it damn sure wasn’t for the road. He could just imagine getting pulled over with open alcohol containers in the vehicle. His brother would bury him; it was a fight they had all the time. And Evan thought Brian never listened to him.
Ghost grabbed the next in line, a pack of Dr. Pepper, as Brian watched with a smirk.
“I hope you have sunscreen to rub on that head of yours. You look like a cue ball standing out here.”
“Fuck you, dude. We’re not at work today. I don’t have to put up with your stupid bullshit.”
Brian laughed and, for the first time in two weeks, felt it was genuine. “Will the UV rays bounce right off? Is that your plan?”
“I swear to God…” The soda cans came more forcefully this time, some of them aimed right at his head. The bastard was quick too. Brian had to duck the last one, and it clattered in the bed of the truck. “Oops, sorry.”
“Watch it, motherfu—”
“Hey, hey! Don’t look, man. But I think that’s your little honey sitting over there watching us.”
