Rock My World
Page 25
I continue to sing as I think about her and our unborn child growing in her belly, and how much I need them both—more than I ever needed anything. “I will always love you.”
I pick out the last few chords and set the instrument up against the wall. I stand and press my lips to hers. When she doesn’t even flinch, I flop back down in the chair and lay my head on the bed. The tears start again. It’s like I have no fucking control over them any more. This grief is too much to fight. The puddle on the bed grows as they keep flowing.
“Please, Kitten. I love you. Don’t leave me. I can’t take it,” I whisper. “We’re having a baby. Did you hear that? I know I might not be exactly the best father material in the world, and I’m scared out of my fucking mind that’ll I screw things up, but damn it, Aubrey I want that chance. Please come back, baby,” I plead with her, willing life to spark into her.
Her fingers twitch against my cheek and I jerk my head up and stare at her fingers fighting to move. I know I should call for the nurse, but I don’t want to risk them coming in here and pushing her away again.
I jump up and kiss her smooth cheek. “Please, baby, come back to me.” The monitor beeps pick up speed and my heart thunders. “That’s it. Fight for us. Fight for our baby. Give me a chance to try and be a father—to be the man I know I can be for you.”
Her entire hand jerks as soon as the words leave my mouth and I gasp—it’s working. I smooth her hair back from her face. “I love you, baby—so fucking much. Don’t you dare think about leaving me.”
Aubrey’s eyelids flutter as she struggles to wake up. “Can you hear me, Kitten? I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”
The monitor’s erratic pace starts slowing down as her body relaxes and she blinks slowly before she opens her eyes. Her lips part and she whispers my name, “Zach.”
I grab her hand and kiss it over and over as I smile and cry at the same time. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”
She nods. “It was you. I heard your voice, singing to me. It pulled me in and I had to follow it. It lead me back to you.”
“I’m so sorry for how I left you. You belong with me. I’m never going to be an idiot and leave your side again. There’s no getting rid of me now,” I tell her. “It’s you, me, and our baby forever. You’re all the family I need.”
She stares up at me with wide green eyes. “Our baby?”
I bite my bottom lip and hold my ring between my teeth. “You’re three weeks pregnant. They found out when they were running a bunch of tests on you.”
Tears leak down her cheeks. “We’re going to have a baby? I thought you…”
I shake my head. “They were wrong. We’re going to be a family.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, it hits me that after all these years I’m getting what I’ve always wanted—a family that loves me, and I love back just as much.
I wrap my arms around her and we cry together. “I love you, Kitten.”
When I pull back she touches my cheek. “And I love you. Forever.”
***
It’s taken nearly two weeks to have Zach’s father’s body moved to Kentucky. It wasn’t an easy choice for Zach to bury his father in the plot his family reserved next to his mother, but in the end family comes first. My man’s life hasn’t been an easy one. He’s been through more hell than one person should ever have to withstand, but I’m glad he’s finally finding true peace and becoming happier with each passing day.
The pastor says a prayer as Zach’s father is lowered into the cold earth and Zach grips my hand tight. I glance over at him and watch as he struggles to hold back his emotions.
“He was a bastard,” Zach says only loud enough for me to hear. “But he was still my father, the only one I ever had, and I hate that I still loved him.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “He had a lot of issues, Zach. Drugs and alcohol change people. The man you knew the last few years wasn’t really your father. Don’t feel guilty about loving the man you knew he really was deep down.”
He turns his head and kisses the top of my head. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
I pat my stomach gently. “Us, you mean,” I correct him.
Zach places his hand over mine. “It’s us against the world, just like always. You’re going to be a great mother.”
To say I was shocked when I found out I’m pregnant would be an understatement, but it doesn’t mean I love the little life growing inside me any less. I know Zach doubts his abilities involving fatherhood, but if he could see himself through my eyes he would stop all his silly doubts. He’s taken such great care of me the last couple of weeks since we found out—barely allowing me to lift a finger. I grin. “And you’re going to be an amazing father.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and hugs me tightly against his side as the casket comes to a stop. The pastor motions for Zach to throw the single white rose he’s holding into the open grave.
When Zach stands he pulls me up along side him and tosses in the flower. “Goodbye, Dad. I hope you find Mom and Hailey and can finally be happy again.”
I sniff as his words drive home how our baby and I are really the only family he has now. That is until Noel rests his hand on Zach’s opposite shoulder and Trip and Tyke stand beside him. That’s when I remember, not only does Zach have me, he has a new family in the form of Black Falcon.
I pick out the last few chords and set the instrument up against the wall. I stand and press my lips to hers. When she doesn’t even flinch, I flop back down in the chair and lay my head on the bed. The tears start again. It’s like I have no fucking control over them any more. This grief is too much to fight. The puddle on the bed grows as they keep flowing.
“Please, Kitten. I love you. Don’t leave me. I can’t take it,” I whisper. “We’re having a baby. Did you hear that? I know I might not be exactly the best father material in the world, and I’m scared out of my fucking mind that’ll I screw things up, but damn it, Aubrey I want that chance. Please come back, baby,” I plead with her, willing life to spark into her.
Her fingers twitch against my cheek and I jerk my head up and stare at her fingers fighting to move. I know I should call for the nurse, but I don’t want to risk them coming in here and pushing her away again.
I jump up and kiss her smooth cheek. “Please, baby, come back to me.” The monitor beeps pick up speed and my heart thunders. “That’s it. Fight for us. Fight for our baby. Give me a chance to try and be a father—to be the man I know I can be for you.”
Her entire hand jerks as soon as the words leave my mouth and I gasp—it’s working. I smooth her hair back from her face. “I love you, baby—so fucking much. Don’t you dare think about leaving me.”
Aubrey’s eyelids flutter as she struggles to wake up. “Can you hear me, Kitten? I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”
The monitor’s erratic pace starts slowing down as her body relaxes and she blinks slowly before she opens her eyes. Her lips part and she whispers my name, “Zach.”
I grab her hand and kiss it over and over as I smile and cry at the same time. “I’m right here. I’m right here.”
She nods. “It was you. I heard your voice, singing to me. It pulled me in and I had to follow it. It lead me back to you.”
“I’m so sorry for how I left you. You belong with me. I’m never going to be an idiot and leave your side again. There’s no getting rid of me now,” I tell her. “It’s you, me, and our baby forever. You’re all the family I need.”
She stares up at me with wide green eyes. “Our baby?”
I bite my bottom lip and hold my ring between my teeth. “You’re three weeks pregnant. They found out when they were running a bunch of tests on you.”
Tears leak down her cheeks. “We’re going to have a baby? I thought you…”
I shake my head. “They were wrong. We’re going to be a family.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, it hits me that after all these years I’m getting what I’ve always wanted—a family that loves me, and I love back just as much.
I wrap my arms around her and we cry together. “I love you, Kitten.”
When I pull back she touches my cheek. “And I love you. Forever.”
***
It’s taken nearly two weeks to have Zach’s father’s body moved to Kentucky. It wasn’t an easy choice for Zach to bury his father in the plot his family reserved next to his mother, but in the end family comes first. My man’s life hasn’t been an easy one. He’s been through more hell than one person should ever have to withstand, but I’m glad he’s finally finding true peace and becoming happier with each passing day.
The pastor says a prayer as Zach’s father is lowered into the cold earth and Zach grips my hand tight. I glance over at him and watch as he struggles to hold back his emotions.
“He was a bastard,” Zach says only loud enough for me to hear. “But he was still my father, the only one I ever had, and I hate that I still loved him.”
I lean my head on his shoulder. “He had a lot of issues, Zach. Drugs and alcohol change people. The man you knew the last few years wasn’t really your father. Don’t feel guilty about loving the man you knew he really was deep down.”
He turns his head and kisses the top of my head. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
I pat my stomach gently. “Us, you mean,” I correct him.
Zach places his hand over mine. “It’s us against the world, just like always. You’re going to be a great mother.”
To say I was shocked when I found out I’m pregnant would be an understatement, but it doesn’t mean I love the little life growing inside me any less. I know Zach doubts his abilities involving fatherhood, but if he could see himself through my eyes he would stop all his silly doubts. He’s taken such great care of me the last couple of weeks since we found out—barely allowing me to lift a finger. I grin. “And you’re going to be an amazing father.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and hugs me tightly against his side as the casket comes to a stop. The pastor motions for Zach to throw the single white rose he’s holding into the open grave.
When Zach stands he pulls me up along side him and tosses in the flower. “Goodbye, Dad. I hope you find Mom and Hailey and can finally be happy again.”
I sniff as his words drive home how our baby and I are really the only family he has now. That is until Noel rests his hand on Zach’s opposite shoulder and Trip and Tyke stand beside him. That’s when I remember, not only does Zach have me, he has a new family in the form of Black Falcon.
