Room for More

Page 47

He frowned at me, scratching his cheek. “The what?”
“Never mind.” I shook my head quickly. “It’s something Lauren talked about; it’s not important. My point is when I went to the hospital for the first time a few weeks ago, I never in a million years expected to see Zach there. I never expected to see him again in my whole life.”
The sides of Brody’s jaw twitched at the mention of Zach’s name, but I didn’t stop. It was now or never and I wasn’t about to walk away and leave anything on the table.
“Should I have come straight home and told you? Yes. Would that have been the rational thing for a girlfriend to do? Yes. Did I do that? No.” My voice started to shake but I cleared my throat, determined to regain my composure and get through this. “It was our last week before you started practice and things had just settled down from the whole Kendall-Blaire fiasco. I chickened out. Selfishly, I just wanted to keep things as smooth as possible between us.”
His eyes softened and he opened his mouth to talk, but I wasn’t done yet.
“I’m a mama bear, Brody, quick to assume I always know what’s best and slow to admit when I’m wrong. But I admit it: I was wrong. I was wrong for not telling you sooner, but I was NOT wrong for lying to you. I never lied to you; I just made a poor judgment in my timing.” I swiped a tear from my cheek.
He walked up to the bars and stood inches from me. “You’re not the only one who made a mistake, Kacie.”
My heart stopped beating and I held my breath.
Oh, God. Is he telling me good-bye?
“Pushing you away this past week was my mistake. Whether I understand you’re reasoning or not, I can’t tell you how bad I wish we would’ve had this conversation right away. It’s my fault that we didn’t.”
“I wish we would’ve too.” I sniffed and rested my forehead against the bars as the tears ran freely down my cheeks. “Can we be done with all this, please? I really need to hug you right now and these damn bars are in my way.”
“I’m not done,” he said cautiously.
“Oh.” Deflation washed over me.
“I’ve actually done a lot of thinking this week, and let me tell you, being inside my brain is a crazy place to be lately.” He laughed in such a foreign, nervous way that goose bumps covered my skin and my stomach flipped. “I talked to my parents this morning, trying desperately to figure out a way to convince them to give it one more try. Then I started thinking… I’m a total hypocrite.”
“A hypocrite?”
“Yeah, think about it. My parents are separating. I’m twenty-seven and fucking devastated about it. I would give anything, pay anything, do anything for them to give it one more try. What if it wasn’t their own stupidity but a person who had come in between them? How would I feel about that person? I would hate them for the rest of my life, assuming I didn’t spend it in prison for killing them.”
The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “What are you saying, Brody?”
“I love your girls, Kacie. I can only pray that the way I feel about them is the way I’ll feel about my own kids one day. The last thing in the world I would ever want is for them to hate me or resent me in ten years because they think I came in between their mom and dad.” He blinked as the rims off his eyes grew red. “As sick as it makes me to say it, I think I’m going to step back and let you figure this out with him first.”
My mouth fell open as I let go of the bars. “Are you serious?” I asked, struggling for a full breath.
“I am.” He pressed his lips together and swallowed hard.
As quickly as the confusion took over my body, it evaporated, leaving anger in its wake. I stepped back and started pacing the length of the cell as I scratched my head. I didn’t look at Brody, but I knew his eyes were following me. I could feel them.
“Kacie, talk to me,” he uttered slowly.
I spun on my heel to face him. “Do you love me?”
His head jerked back in surprise and he licked his lips. “Yeah. That’s why I’m doing this.”
“No.” I took a step toward the bars. “Do you really love me?”
“Yes,” he responded firmly.
“Then screw you.”
“What?”
“Screw you.”
“No, I heard you. I just don’t get it.”
“Do you know why Zach left me?” I cocked my hip to the side and crossed my arms across my chest.
He rolled his eyes. “I have no idea.”
“He was dealing with some major substance abuse. I had no idea it was as bad as it was, so he thought he’d do me a favor and leave. Ya know, for my and the girls’ sake,” I said sarcastically. “Then yesterday, he told me he’d decided to leave—again—for me and the girls. I told him I didn’t want him to.”
His eyebrows shot up at my news. “You did?”
“Yep, you heard me. I told him not to go, that we would give it time and see about introducing him to the girls eventually. I also told him there was no chance of us being together again—ever. You see, I’m twenty-four years old. I’ve been a single parent for five years. In that time, I’ve managed to all but finish my nursing degree, help my mom run an inn, and fall in love with the most amazing man. The same man who now thinks he knows what’s best for me and should walk away.”
“Kacie—”
“Nope. I’m not done,” I interrupted. “I’ve made a decision. From now until forever, I’m going to be the one who gets to decide what’s best for Kacie and her girls. If you’re no longer in love with me and think it’s best we separate, that’s one thing. But please don’t think for a second you’re doing me any favors by turning your back and walking out on me.”
Brody walked right up to the bars and rested his head against them, staring at me.
“I need you, Brody. I would give up everything in my life, with the exception of Lucy and Piper, to have you by my side—forever. I don’t care about money or celebrity status or any of that crap. I just need you. If you get traded, I’ll move tomorrow. If you get hurt and can’t play anymore, I’ll work two jobs to support us.”
Neither of us spoke for a minute. We just stood there, staring at each other with tears in our eyes.
“I need you too, Kacie. I just don’t want the girls to hate me.”
“Hate you?” That thought was ridiculous to me, but it was a real fear of his. “They think you’re Superman, Brody. There’s a lot they won’t understand now, but as they get older, they’ll get it.”
“And what if that’s when they blame me?” he asked. “When they get older?”
“Then together, we’ll sit them down and give them as much truth as they can handle.” I stepped closer to the bars and looked up at him. “The key word in that sentence is together. Now, let’s get you out of there and go home—together.”
“Dude, if you don’t marry her today, I will,” a familiar voice called out.
My head snapped to the left to see Viper and the same officer who’d brought me down there standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Sorry.” He shrugged. “You guys are taking forever and I’m fucking starving. I figure if you haven’t made up yet, I’ll drop you off at home and you can fuck it out while I go get pizza.”