Rowdy
Page 46
She tilted her head to the side just a fraction and those sky-blue eyes narrowed at me. “What about you? You left and he let you back in.”
I let out a dry laugh. “I have a toe in the door but I’m nowhere near back in. Every time I grab my purse, every time I tell him I have to run out for something, he looks at me like I’m never coming back. He knows me better than anyone in my entire life ever has even after ten years apart, but he doesn’t trust me to stay with him at all.”
“But aren’t you involved with one another?” She laughed and wrinkled her nose up a little. “He thought I was trying to ask him out on a date last night and told me in no uncertain terms he was seeing someone.”
“We’re involved, but I think that level of involvement might differ depending on which one of us you’re talking to.”
Her pale eyebrows shot up. “You love him?”
I snorted in an entirely unladylike way and tapped my fingers on my knee to dispel some of the tension that built up inside of me at that question.
“I’ve loved him in many different ways since he was ten years old.” She cringed because even I could hear the wistfulness in my voice. “I told you I was here for him.”
“How did you know he would welcome you back into his life? Ten years is a long time.”
“I didn’t. But it was a chance I had to take because in all the time that passed he is the only one that stuck with me. He was worth the risk . . . he still is, even though I know stuff now I didn’t know then.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Salem? I can see it in all of this but I don’t know you, or Rowdy, well enough to put it all together.”
I got to my feet and smoothed a hand over the fabric of my skirt. “I’m telling you he’s worth it and that eventually he’ll get out of his own head and want you to be there. Be patient with him. When he’s done being terrified that you’re just another person that can leave him or let him down, he’s going to come looking for you.” I made sure she could see how important what I was telling her was in my steady gaze. “If you’re gone or no longer interested when he starts moving toward you, it’s going to break him and he doesn’t deserve that. So before you make any decisions on really being his sister—on being in his life—think about how committed you are to staying put until he finds his way to you.”
She got to her feet also and I had this weird thought that Rowdy really couldn’t have two more different women on every single level there was trying to find a place in his life at the exact same time. One thing was obvious that Sayer and I did have in common was that we were both strong and both determined to force our way in no matter how bad our boy wanted to keep us out.
“I’m not going anywhere, Salem, and if I do, I promise I will do everything humanly possible to make sure he can find me. I will not just disappear. He can find me when he’s ready.” She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a lopsided grin. “The funny thing is, I understand all about loss. My mom took her own life when I was pretty young and my dad was a cold, distant man that spent a lot of time working and a lot of time pretending I didn’t exist. I mean I physically had a parent in my life, but emotionally”—she shrugged one of her shoulders—“I was just as alone and unwanted as he was and really, he had you. I had no one.”
I smoothed some of my hair down and turned to walk toward the door. “Don’t hurt my boy and you can have me as well, Sayer. I like you. I think you have class and coolness for miles. That’s why I came in peace and wanted to offer you some advice. If I thought you were out for anything other than a real, tangible connection to Rowdy, I would have stormed in with claws out and one of us would have been bloody by the time I was done. Like I said, just give it some time.”
I was at the door and pulling it open when she called my name softly. I looked at her over my shoulder and saw that there was a fierce gleam in her ocean-colored eyes.
“I know I don’t have the same claim on him as you do but don’t let him down again, okay? If you think I could break him, just imagine what it would do to him if you left now that he has you again. He loves you. I can see it, so you have to be able to see it.”
“Oh, I see it all right. I just have to make sure he’s not looking through the fog left over from the past before I fully believe it. If you wanna talk you know where to find me.”
I closed the door behind me and took the elevator back down to the lobby. I winked at the security guard as he cocked a questioning eyebrow at me, clearly wondering what a tatted-up rockabilly chick wanted with one of the partners, but he was too polite to ask.
I was tired. After being up all night with Rowdy and the emotional toll he took on me as well as the showdown with Sayer, I was ready to spend my afternoon off taking a nap. I didn’t know how long a hike in the mountains was going to take but I figured I had enough time to grab a burrito at Illegal Pete’s and catch a few z’s before Rowdy showed back up with the puppy and both of them wanted to play. I got distracted window shopping and saw a really cute minidress that had my mind spinning with ideas of how to turn it into something I could use at the store, and before I knew it I had squandered away an hour and was hustling back to my apartment just in case I missed Rowdy coming in shirtless and sweaty . . . yum.
I was juggling my keys and trying to text him to see where he was at as well as trying not to drop the last part of my burrito that I was still holding on to, so I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going or what I was doing. I almost tripped over the long legs stretched out in front of my doorway and succeeded in using every swearword I knew as my very tasty lunch flew out of my hands. My purse and my keys followed my burrito to the hallway floor of my building as I took in my sister’s black-and-blue face.
Both of her light brown eyes were ringed in ugly black bruises. Her bottom lip was split open, as was the ridge of one of her high cheekbones. She had an Ace bandage around her wrist that she was cradling against her chest and she was looking up at me from her position on the floor like I was going to kick her with the toe of my high heel. Shiny tears glittered in her gaze and her busted lip trembled as she told me, “Your neighbor let me in. She offered to let me wait in her apartment until you got home but . . .” She trailed off and one fat tear slid across her inky lashes and fell along her battered cheek.
“Poppy.” I said her name quietly and crouched down so I could put a hand on her knee. I swore silently as she flinched away from me. I scooped up my keys and offered her a hand.
I let out a dry laugh. “I have a toe in the door but I’m nowhere near back in. Every time I grab my purse, every time I tell him I have to run out for something, he looks at me like I’m never coming back. He knows me better than anyone in my entire life ever has even after ten years apart, but he doesn’t trust me to stay with him at all.”
“But aren’t you involved with one another?” She laughed and wrinkled her nose up a little. “He thought I was trying to ask him out on a date last night and told me in no uncertain terms he was seeing someone.”
“We’re involved, but I think that level of involvement might differ depending on which one of us you’re talking to.”
Her pale eyebrows shot up. “You love him?”
I snorted in an entirely unladylike way and tapped my fingers on my knee to dispel some of the tension that built up inside of me at that question.
“I’ve loved him in many different ways since he was ten years old.” She cringed because even I could hear the wistfulness in my voice. “I told you I was here for him.”
“How did you know he would welcome you back into his life? Ten years is a long time.”
“I didn’t. But it was a chance I had to take because in all the time that passed he is the only one that stuck with me. He was worth the risk . . . he still is, even though I know stuff now I didn’t know then.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Salem? I can see it in all of this but I don’t know you, or Rowdy, well enough to put it all together.”
I got to my feet and smoothed a hand over the fabric of my skirt. “I’m telling you he’s worth it and that eventually he’ll get out of his own head and want you to be there. Be patient with him. When he’s done being terrified that you’re just another person that can leave him or let him down, he’s going to come looking for you.” I made sure she could see how important what I was telling her was in my steady gaze. “If you’re gone or no longer interested when he starts moving toward you, it’s going to break him and he doesn’t deserve that. So before you make any decisions on really being his sister—on being in his life—think about how committed you are to staying put until he finds his way to you.”
She got to her feet also and I had this weird thought that Rowdy really couldn’t have two more different women on every single level there was trying to find a place in his life at the exact same time. One thing was obvious that Sayer and I did have in common was that we were both strong and both determined to force our way in no matter how bad our boy wanted to keep us out.
“I’m not going anywhere, Salem, and if I do, I promise I will do everything humanly possible to make sure he can find me. I will not just disappear. He can find me when he’s ready.” She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a lopsided grin. “The funny thing is, I understand all about loss. My mom took her own life when I was pretty young and my dad was a cold, distant man that spent a lot of time working and a lot of time pretending I didn’t exist. I mean I physically had a parent in my life, but emotionally”—she shrugged one of her shoulders—“I was just as alone and unwanted as he was and really, he had you. I had no one.”
I smoothed some of my hair down and turned to walk toward the door. “Don’t hurt my boy and you can have me as well, Sayer. I like you. I think you have class and coolness for miles. That’s why I came in peace and wanted to offer you some advice. If I thought you were out for anything other than a real, tangible connection to Rowdy, I would have stormed in with claws out and one of us would have been bloody by the time I was done. Like I said, just give it some time.”
I was at the door and pulling it open when she called my name softly. I looked at her over my shoulder and saw that there was a fierce gleam in her ocean-colored eyes.
“I know I don’t have the same claim on him as you do but don’t let him down again, okay? If you think I could break him, just imagine what it would do to him if you left now that he has you again. He loves you. I can see it, so you have to be able to see it.”
“Oh, I see it all right. I just have to make sure he’s not looking through the fog left over from the past before I fully believe it. If you wanna talk you know where to find me.”
I closed the door behind me and took the elevator back down to the lobby. I winked at the security guard as he cocked a questioning eyebrow at me, clearly wondering what a tatted-up rockabilly chick wanted with one of the partners, but he was too polite to ask.
I was tired. After being up all night with Rowdy and the emotional toll he took on me as well as the showdown with Sayer, I was ready to spend my afternoon off taking a nap. I didn’t know how long a hike in the mountains was going to take but I figured I had enough time to grab a burrito at Illegal Pete’s and catch a few z’s before Rowdy showed back up with the puppy and both of them wanted to play. I got distracted window shopping and saw a really cute minidress that had my mind spinning with ideas of how to turn it into something I could use at the store, and before I knew it I had squandered away an hour and was hustling back to my apartment just in case I missed Rowdy coming in shirtless and sweaty . . . yum.
I was juggling my keys and trying to text him to see where he was at as well as trying not to drop the last part of my burrito that I was still holding on to, so I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going or what I was doing. I almost tripped over the long legs stretched out in front of my doorway and succeeded in using every swearword I knew as my very tasty lunch flew out of my hands. My purse and my keys followed my burrito to the hallway floor of my building as I took in my sister’s black-and-blue face.
Both of her light brown eyes were ringed in ugly black bruises. Her bottom lip was split open, as was the ridge of one of her high cheekbones. She had an Ace bandage around her wrist that she was cradling against her chest and she was looking up at me from her position on the floor like I was going to kick her with the toe of my high heel. Shiny tears glittered in her gaze and her busted lip trembled as she told me, “Your neighbor let me in. She offered to let me wait in her apartment until you got home but . . .” She trailed off and one fat tear slid across her inky lashes and fell along her battered cheek.
“Poppy.” I said her name quietly and crouched down so I could put a hand on her knee. I swore silently as she flinched away from me. I scooped up my keys and offered her a hand.
