Rowdy
Page 54
I moved my hair off of my neck and shoulders and showed her the field of flowers and birds flying across my back. “He drew this for me when he was twelve. The birds were free and he knew that’s the only thing I ever wanted. It was how he tried to give me some kind of liberty from my father’s rule.”
Sayer leaned closer to look at the design, and when she pulled back she put her hands on the table and looked at me with serious eyes.
“Salem, I don’t know Rowdy that well but I can look at that and see someone handing you their heart. I can’t believe you have any kind of question about how he feels about you. What other man since then has tried to offer you what you wanted most? He was just a kid at the time and he was trying to make your dreams come true.”
Well, shit. Put like that, it made my heart lodge in my throat and my insecurity feel pitiful and petty.
“He’s always been a very special guy.”
“Well then, I’m sure he figured out he deserves a very special girl. I’m sure your sister is a lovely person, Salem, but she let him chase after her, let him follow her, let him sacrifice his education and possible future for her without a thought. You left, but you also came back. You left your job, your life, and everything you were building in Vegas once you knew he was here. I don’t think it’s where you go that matters, I think it’s where you end up.”
I finished my wine with a hefty chug. “You did the same thing.”
“I did and I can only hope that eventually he’ll realize that matters. I think he already figured it out with you.”
I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure about that, but when I got home and got berated by my sister yet again for being a no-show when Rowdy came around looking for me, I was starting to believe it more. He texted me twice before I went to bed and I couldn’t justify ignoring him anymore, so I responded that I would see him at work tomorrow and we could talk at some point over the weekend. I didn’t want the entire shift at the shop to be awkward and uncomfortable between us tomorrow when we worked together. I also told him good night and stopped just short of texting him that sleeping alone sucked. Jimbo gave me sad eyes as he climbed up onto Rowdy’s side of the bed and laid his head on my arm.
I patted his rapidly growing head and scrunched-up nose as he licked at my fingers. “I’ll get it together, Jimbo. I promise.” The dog whined and I sighed. “I know. I miss him, too.”
WHEN ROWDY WALKED INTO the shop the next afternoon I expected him to jump all over me and demand answers for my admittedly terrible behavior as of late, but he didn’t. He smiled at me in his normally charming way and went to his station to set up since he had back-to-back appointments scheduled throughout the day. He didn’t look at me, or try and talk to me beyond what was necessary for business for the entire shift. It stressed me out and made me feel even worse than I already did, and of course since I hadn’t seen him for a few days, all I wanted to do was stare at him and remember what he looked like wearing nothing but the battered cowboy hat. It made for a very unpleasant and tense afternoon.
I was going to ask him if he wanted to have lunch with me and by “lunch” meant let me grope him somewhere privately while I tried my best to apologize and explain all the crazy and frantic thoughts that had been hounding me since seeing him with his arms around my sister. He vanished before I could. That put me in a very sour and grumpy mood for the rest of the day. I knew it wasn’t logical since I had been the one playing hide-and-seek all week, but I couldn’t help it. Luckily the first shipment of stuff for the store came in late in the afternoon and I got to go upstairs and paw through T-shirts, tank tops, jackets, thermals, and old-fashioned button-ups to see how everything turned out.
The guys had come through in spades with the designs. Along with Rowdy’s gypsy and Rule’s sacred heart, Nash had given me a brightly designed koi fish and, for Phil, an angel that was done in pinup style with tattooed and pierced wings. The older Donovan would have been tickled pink by his son’s tribute to him. The designs were fantastic and unique. I just knew people were going to eat them up and this was just the start. I fully intended on making these boys have their own brand that could go on so much more than T-shirts. They were all so talented and had survived so much to get where they were. They deserved notoriety and recognition for being some of the best in the business.
I was in clothes heaven and already thinking about the next wave of designs and apparel as well as getting an online retail site up and running when I heard boots on the stairs. I knew it was Rowdy and looked at my phone to see what time it was. I was surprised to see that the rest of the afternoon had passed while I was up here sorting and organizing and it was well past time to do the cash-out for the day and go home.
When he cleared the top of the landing I noticed he had the bank bag in his hand and that there was a determined slant to his normally smiling mouth.
“Everything downstairs is done. This is ready for the safe. Do you have anything else left to do up here?”
I was going to break down some of the boxes the clothes had come in and try and make a path between my piles so Cora could get through, but that wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait until Monday. I didn’t want to squander my chance if Rowdy was finally willing to talk to me after his chilly treatment all day. I hated that I deserved his brush-off.
“No. I’ll finish up on Monday. I’ll come when the shop is closed so I can take my time with it.”
He nodded and stepped around all my piles of goodies delicately to get to Cora’s office. He went inside and came back out carrying a small black bag. He locked the door behind him and walked over to where I was waiting. He wrapped his long fingers around my wrist and without saying a word pulled me after him down the stairs, telling me to hit the lights as we went. As usual I had on heels, so being dragged down the stairs was slightly precarious and he wouldn’t answer me when I asked him what he thought he was doing. He didn’t even let me go to lock the front door of the shop. Instead he told me to dig the keys out of his pocket and do it for him. Not that I minded the task but I still thought he was being weird and evasive.
“What’s in the bag, Rowdy? I told you we could talk after work, so why are you acting so surly?”
“Surly isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, sugar.”
I knew he had to be really mad if he was using one of his throwaway terms of endearment on me. He further perpetuated that belief when he hauled me to his SUV despite the fact I was peppering him with questions and complaining about my car being in the lot across the street.
Sayer leaned closer to look at the design, and when she pulled back she put her hands on the table and looked at me with serious eyes.
“Salem, I don’t know Rowdy that well but I can look at that and see someone handing you their heart. I can’t believe you have any kind of question about how he feels about you. What other man since then has tried to offer you what you wanted most? He was just a kid at the time and he was trying to make your dreams come true.”
Well, shit. Put like that, it made my heart lodge in my throat and my insecurity feel pitiful and petty.
“He’s always been a very special guy.”
“Well then, I’m sure he figured out he deserves a very special girl. I’m sure your sister is a lovely person, Salem, but she let him chase after her, let him follow her, let him sacrifice his education and possible future for her without a thought. You left, but you also came back. You left your job, your life, and everything you were building in Vegas once you knew he was here. I don’t think it’s where you go that matters, I think it’s where you end up.”
I finished my wine with a hefty chug. “You did the same thing.”
“I did and I can only hope that eventually he’ll realize that matters. I think he already figured it out with you.”
I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure about that, but when I got home and got berated by my sister yet again for being a no-show when Rowdy came around looking for me, I was starting to believe it more. He texted me twice before I went to bed and I couldn’t justify ignoring him anymore, so I responded that I would see him at work tomorrow and we could talk at some point over the weekend. I didn’t want the entire shift at the shop to be awkward and uncomfortable between us tomorrow when we worked together. I also told him good night and stopped just short of texting him that sleeping alone sucked. Jimbo gave me sad eyes as he climbed up onto Rowdy’s side of the bed and laid his head on my arm.
I patted his rapidly growing head and scrunched-up nose as he licked at my fingers. “I’ll get it together, Jimbo. I promise.” The dog whined and I sighed. “I know. I miss him, too.”
WHEN ROWDY WALKED INTO the shop the next afternoon I expected him to jump all over me and demand answers for my admittedly terrible behavior as of late, but he didn’t. He smiled at me in his normally charming way and went to his station to set up since he had back-to-back appointments scheduled throughout the day. He didn’t look at me, or try and talk to me beyond what was necessary for business for the entire shift. It stressed me out and made me feel even worse than I already did, and of course since I hadn’t seen him for a few days, all I wanted to do was stare at him and remember what he looked like wearing nothing but the battered cowboy hat. It made for a very unpleasant and tense afternoon.
I was going to ask him if he wanted to have lunch with me and by “lunch” meant let me grope him somewhere privately while I tried my best to apologize and explain all the crazy and frantic thoughts that had been hounding me since seeing him with his arms around my sister. He vanished before I could. That put me in a very sour and grumpy mood for the rest of the day. I knew it wasn’t logical since I had been the one playing hide-and-seek all week, but I couldn’t help it. Luckily the first shipment of stuff for the store came in late in the afternoon and I got to go upstairs and paw through T-shirts, tank tops, jackets, thermals, and old-fashioned button-ups to see how everything turned out.
The guys had come through in spades with the designs. Along with Rowdy’s gypsy and Rule’s sacred heart, Nash had given me a brightly designed koi fish and, for Phil, an angel that was done in pinup style with tattooed and pierced wings. The older Donovan would have been tickled pink by his son’s tribute to him. The designs were fantastic and unique. I just knew people were going to eat them up and this was just the start. I fully intended on making these boys have their own brand that could go on so much more than T-shirts. They were all so talented and had survived so much to get where they were. They deserved notoriety and recognition for being some of the best in the business.
I was in clothes heaven and already thinking about the next wave of designs and apparel as well as getting an online retail site up and running when I heard boots on the stairs. I knew it was Rowdy and looked at my phone to see what time it was. I was surprised to see that the rest of the afternoon had passed while I was up here sorting and organizing and it was well past time to do the cash-out for the day and go home.
When he cleared the top of the landing I noticed he had the bank bag in his hand and that there was a determined slant to his normally smiling mouth.
“Everything downstairs is done. This is ready for the safe. Do you have anything else left to do up here?”
I was going to break down some of the boxes the clothes had come in and try and make a path between my piles so Cora could get through, but that wasn’t anything that couldn’t wait until Monday. I didn’t want to squander my chance if Rowdy was finally willing to talk to me after his chilly treatment all day. I hated that I deserved his brush-off.
“No. I’ll finish up on Monday. I’ll come when the shop is closed so I can take my time with it.”
He nodded and stepped around all my piles of goodies delicately to get to Cora’s office. He went inside and came back out carrying a small black bag. He locked the door behind him and walked over to where I was waiting. He wrapped his long fingers around my wrist and without saying a word pulled me after him down the stairs, telling me to hit the lights as we went. As usual I had on heels, so being dragged down the stairs was slightly precarious and he wouldn’t answer me when I asked him what he thought he was doing. He didn’t even let me go to lock the front door of the shop. Instead he told me to dig the keys out of his pocket and do it for him. Not that I minded the task but I still thought he was being weird and evasive.
“What’s in the bag, Rowdy? I told you we could talk after work, so why are you acting so surly?”
“Surly isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, sugar.”
I knew he had to be really mad if he was using one of his throwaway terms of endearment on me. He further perpetuated that belief when he hauled me to his SUV despite the fact I was peppering him with questions and complaining about my car being in the lot across the street.
