Royal Savage
Page 69
Placing my back against the door, I slowly make my way down to my butt and wrap my arms around my knees to keep warm. I’m angry with myself for thinking that by talking out loud to him that he will somehow just show up. It hasn’t worked yet. Why would it now? Why the fuck now?
Burying my face into my legs, I allow myself to cry unrestricted. I’ve been trying so hard to be strong around Kylie. All I need is just a few minutes to let it all out, so that’s what I do. I cry until my throat feels raw and my eyes become so puffy that my vision becomes blurry.
Just as I’m wiping my face off and standing to my feet, a car engine sounds from close by, reminding me of the sound of Royal’s truck. I stop, and for a split second . . . so does my heart.
Something about that sound as it gets closer sends my heart into overdrive, and I find myself clutching at my chest as my eyes stare off into the night, waiting for the vehicle to come into view.
As soon as a huge truck comes into view, I lose it. Every piece of me breaks and I fall down to my knees, crying and clutching at my sweater as his truck pulls up in front of the house. He jumps out in a hurry, barely giving himself time to stop.
“Oh my God,” I cry to myself as his pained eyes meet mine. “You’re here. You’re really here . . .”
As soon as the words leave my mouth he rushes across the yard, not stopping until he’s standing on the porch, lifting me up into his strong arms.
“Fuck, I missed you so much, baby. Don’t cry. I’m here.” Wrapping his hands in my hair, his mouth presses against every inch of my wet face, as I clutch onto him for dear life in fear of him leaving again. I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened again, but I don’t intend to give him the opportunity.
“You left,” I whisper through a small cry. “You really left.”
Grabbing my face, he pulls it up for our eyes to meet. “I had to,” he says firmly. “I’m so fucking sorry, but I want you to know that I’m never leaving you again. You hear me?”
I shake my head as more tears helplessly fall down my face. “I was so fucking scared,” I say, while squeezing his arm. “I thought I’d never see you again. Do you know how much that hurt me?”
He looks away for a second, as if to hide his emotions. “It hurt me too.”
“Did it?” I question angrily. “It’s hard for me to believe that when I told you that I loved you, Royal. I fucking told you that I loved you and you left. You still left.”
“Look at me,” he demands, while cupping my face. “Look at me, dammit.”
Letting out a frustrated breath, I finally bring my eyes up to meet the beautiful ones that I’ve missed so damn much. “I’m looking,” I whisper painfully.
“I. Love. You,” he whispers. “I love you and it scared me. That’s why I left.” My eyes slowly close as he runs his thumbs under my wet eyes. “Nothing scares me more than hurting you. I had to clear my head and know for sure that I was strong enough to let you in and fully love you like you deserve. I can never take back leaving, but I can promise you that you’ll never have to wake up another morning without me by your fucking side.”
He pulls my face up; making me open my eyes again. “Please tell me that you’ll let me love you. Will you?” He whispers the last two words.
Bursting out in tears from his confession, I wrap my arms around his neck and slam my lips against his. Feeling his soft lips against mine wakes something inside of me, making it feel as if I’m truly breathing for the first time in five months.
“Yes,” I pant against his lips. “I love you so fucking much.” I slap his chest, before grabbing his face. “Don’t ever leave me again. I won’t survive.”
“I’m yours,” he says gently, while placing my hand to his heart. “This is yours and has been for a long time now.”
I smile through my tears and hold onto him as tightly as I can, as he buries his face into my neck and kisses it repeatedly, while whispering how much he loves and needs me.
I’ve never felt more whole in my entire life than I do right now, right here, standing in Royal’s strong arms . . . but there’s one thing I need to do and there’s really no right way of going about this. I just need to tell him.
“It’s not just me anymore,” I whisper, causing him to look up at me. “There’s a little girl in my life and I love her more than this whole world.”
His gray eyes widen as they search mine. “You adopted a child? You had one before us? I don’t . . .” He swallows. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you both. You must know that,” he whispers. “Nothing is going to keep me away from you. Not anymore. Fuck that. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s with you.”
Tears stream down my face from his words and I find myself wanting to break down for this man. This is going to be so damn hard to do. He’s missed two years of his daughter’s life and he doesn’t even have a clue that she’s in my bedroom in my bed right now.
“She’s yours,” I say, so softly that it’s barely audible. “Hadley is here . . . in my bed.”
His whole body stiffens as he gasps. “What did you just say?”
“Your daughter is alive,” I whisper, while wiping the tears off my face. “She didn’t die. She’s very much alive.”
Releasing me, he drops to his knees and grips the back of his head. “I don’t fucking understand! Are you fucking with me?” He looks up with tear stained eyes. “Is this some kind of sick joke to get back at me for leaving?”
I shake my head and crouch down before him to grab his face. “I would never do that!” I scream through tears. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise you that it’s the truth. She looks just like you,” I whisper. “So much so that it hurt to look at her, knowing that you were gone. Your daughter is here with us, right now, in the house. She’s fast asleep, warm and safe.”
His fists clench at his sides as the tears uncontrollably pour down his face. Tilting his head, he looks around me to look inside when the door slowly opens behind us, making a creaking noise.
I must have forgotten to close it all the way, because from the look of pure shock and awe on Royal’s face, I know that it’s Kylie standing there and not Madison. He’s seeing his baby girl for the first time.
Burying my face into my legs, I allow myself to cry unrestricted. I’ve been trying so hard to be strong around Kylie. All I need is just a few minutes to let it all out, so that’s what I do. I cry until my throat feels raw and my eyes become so puffy that my vision becomes blurry.
Just as I’m wiping my face off and standing to my feet, a car engine sounds from close by, reminding me of the sound of Royal’s truck. I stop, and for a split second . . . so does my heart.
Something about that sound as it gets closer sends my heart into overdrive, and I find myself clutching at my chest as my eyes stare off into the night, waiting for the vehicle to come into view.
As soon as a huge truck comes into view, I lose it. Every piece of me breaks and I fall down to my knees, crying and clutching at my sweater as his truck pulls up in front of the house. He jumps out in a hurry, barely giving himself time to stop.
“Oh my God,” I cry to myself as his pained eyes meet mine. “You’re here. You’re really here . . .”
As soon as the words leave my mouth he rushes across the yard, not stopping until he’s standing on the porch, lifting me up into his strong arms.
“Fuck, I missed you so much, baby. Don’t cry. I’m here.” Wrapping his hands in my hair, his mouth presses against every inch of my wet face, as I clutch onto him for dear life in fear of him leaving again. I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened again, but I don’t intend to give him the opportunity.
“You left,” I whisper through a small cry. “You really left.”
Grabbing my face, he pulls it up for our eyes to meet. “I had to,” he says firmly. “I’m so fucking sorry, but I want you to know that I’m never leaving you again. You hear me?”
I shake my head as more tears helplessly fall down my face. “I was so fucking scared,” I say, while squeezing his arm. “I thought I’d never see you again. Do you know how much that hurt me?”
He looks away for a second, as if to hide his emotions. “It hurt me too.”
“Did it?” I question angrily. “It’s hard for me to believe that when I told you that I loved you, Royal. I fucking told you that I loved you and you left. You still left.”
“Look at me,” he demands, while cupping my face. “Look at me, dammit.”
Letting out a frustrated breath, I finally bring my eyes up to meet the beautiful ones that I’ve missed so damn much. “I’m looking,” I whisper painfully.
“I. Love. You,” he whispers. “I love you and it scared me. That’s why I left.” My eyes slowly close as he runs his thumbs under my wet eyes. “Nothing scares me more than hurting you. I had to clear my head and know for sure that I was strong enough to let you in and fully love you like you deserve. I can never take back leaving, but I can promise you that you’ll never have to wake up another morning without me by your fucking side.”
He pulls my face up; making me open my eyes again. “Please tell me that you’ll let me love you. Will you?” He whispers the last two words.
Bursting out in tears from his confession, I wrap my arms around his neck and slam my lips against his. Feeling his soft lips against mine wakes something inside of me, making it feel as if I’m truly breathing for the first time in five months.
“Yes,” I pant against his lips. “I love you so fucking much.” I slap his chest, before grabbing his face. “Don’t ever leave me again. I won’t survive.”
“I’m yours,” he says gently, while placing my hand to his heart. “This is yours and has been for a long time now.”
I smile through my tears and hold onto him as tightly as I can, as he buries his face into my neck and kisses it repeatedly, while whispering how much he loves and needs me.
I’ve never felt more whole in my entire life than I do right now, right here, standing in Royal’s strong arms . . . but there’s one thing I need to do and there’s really no right way of going about this. I just need to tell him.
“It’s not just me anymore,” I whisper, causing him to look up at me. “There’s a little girl in my life and I love her more than this whole world.”
His gray eyes widen as they search mine. “You adopted a child? You had one before us? I don’t . . .” He swallows. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you both. You must know that,” he whispers. “Nothing is going to keep me away from you. Not anymore. Fuck that. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s with you.”
Tears stream down my face from his words and I find myself wanting to break down for this man. This is going to be so damn hard to do. He’s missed two years of his daughter’s life and he doesn’t even have a clue that she’s in my bedroom in my bed right now.
“She’s yours,” I say, so softly that it’s barely audible. “Hadley is here . . . in my bed.”
His whole body stiffens as he gasps. “What did you just say?”
“Your daughter is alive,” I whisper, while wiping the tears off my face. “She didn’t die. She’s very much alive.”
Releasing me, he drops to his knees and grips the back of his head. “I don’t fucking understand! Are you fucking with me?” He looks up with tear stained eyes. “Is this some kind of sick joke to get back at me for leaving?”
I shake my head and crouch down before him to grab his face. “I would never do that!” I scream through tears. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise you that it’s the truth. She looks just like you,” I whisper. “So much so that it hurt to look at her, knowing that you were gone. Your daughter is here with us, right now, in the house. She’s fast asleep, warm and safe.”
His fists clench at his sides as the tears uncontrollably pour down his face. Tilting his head, he looks around me to look inside when the door slowly opens behind us, making a creaking noise.
I must have forgotten to close it all the way, because from the look of pure shock and awe on Royal’s face, I know that it’s Kylie standing there and not Madison. He’s seeing his baby girl for the first time.
