Ruin Me
Page 39
“He sounds like he was a good dad.”
“He was.” My voice is uneven and my eyes burn with tears as I recollect all the great times I had with my dad up until he died. I suck in deep breaths of air, trying to keep the waterworks back.
He delicately cups my cheek. “You know what I think we should do?”
“What?” A tear manages to escape and rolls down my cheek.
“I think for your next birthday we should go to the beach and catch magic in the waves all day. You can swim now, right?”
Laughing, I wipe the tear away with the back of my hand. “Yes, I can swim now. Although, I still never have figured out how to catch magic in the waves.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he promises. “Just as long as you promise to let me spend your next birthday with you.”
He’s asking me for way more than just a birthday. He knows it. I know it. Part of me wants to bolt out of the booth. But after spending so much time with Jax, learning who he is, and opening up to him, I’m starting to wonder if he’ll protect my heart for me.
“I’ll tell you what.” My voice is still a little unsteady, but for an entirely different reason. “You can spend my next birthday with me catching magic in the waves if I can spend your next birthday with you, baking you an absurdly awesome cake.”
His brow crooks. “You can bake?”
“Kind of. My Aunt Nelli’s really good at it, so I can get some pointers from her.” I playfully bump my shoulder into his. “Don’t worry. I promise you’ll have an amazing day.”
“I believe you.”
“Good. So is it a deal?”
“It’s a deal.” His tongue slides out and wets his lips. “I want to kiss you right now.” He doesn’t lean in and take the kiss. He waits for me to offer it.
I nod my head once and the movement is easier than I thought it would be.
He frees a breath then moves in and touches his lips to mine. The kiss is quick, just a soft caress of lips, a teasing taste, just enough to leave me craving more.
More kisses.
More touches.
More of him.
Chapter Fourteen
Jax
After we leave the restaurant, we return to the motel and spend the next hour kissing until we fall asleep in bed. In the early hours of daybreak, we wake up, get dressed, and hit the streets to ask around for my mother. But everyone seems about as hesitant as Melinda to divulge anything.
The day is exhausting, but Clara is a trooper. With each passing hour, I become more grateful she’s here with me, not just because she’s opening up to me more but because she’s been really good at keeping me together. Every time I grow frustrated, she calms me down and forces me to take a break. I think I might be falling in love with her and wish I could get the courage to tell her how I feel, but the time doesn’t seem right.
Still, now that I know more about her, maybe our relationship can move forward now—that the whole friends with benefits deal can come to an end. While she did make the promise to spend our next birthdays together, she still hasn’t verbally revoked her friends-with-benefits rules, so all I can do is wait until she decides if she trusts me—if she wants me as more than a fuck buddy.
Around eight o’clock at night, I peel out of the gas station and cruise toward Neon Madness to see if by chance Marcus has shown up. I’m a little nervous about going straight to the source, but at this point I don’t see another option.
On our way there, Clara and I stop at a fast food place to grab a quick bite to eat. The inside of the car stinks like grease and fries, and our shakes are melting in the cup holders.
“What do you think the odds are that Lester told the truth about Marcus being at this place?” Clara asks as she pops a fry into her mouth.
“He’s about as reliable as everyone else we’ve talked to, so the odds seem kind of low.” I slow at a stop sign and steal a fry from the bag on Clara’s lap. “But, at this point, I have to try any lead I can get.”
I crank up the heater. With the clouds rolling in, the air is even breezier than it normally is in May. That’s the thing about Wyoming—summer, fall, winter, spring, the nights are always cold.
“So, this club that we’re going to, is it like the Dirty Tiger?” Clara picks up a cup of Coke and takes a sip from the straw.
“I honestly don’t know. I’ve never heard of it until yesterday.” I flip on the headlights as the sun descends below the mountains, and night progressively shadows the land.
“I hope not.” She dunks a fry into a cup of ranch. “That place was so gross. And I don’t care if that makes me sound sheltered. I’m starting to realize being sheltered might not be a bad thing.”
“No, it’s definitely not,” I agree, making a right at the next intersection.
We drive up the main street bordered by bars, diners, and knickknack stores until Neon Madness comes into view. Every square foot of the building has been spray-painted with florescent hues of green, pink, yellow, and orange. Lights of similar colors flash vibrantly from through the windows and along the trim of the room.
“Well, the name is fitting,” I remark as I flip on my blinker to turn into the gravelly parking lot.
“It doesn’t look as bad as the Dirty Tiger.” Clara sits forward in the seat as she examines the place.
“We still should be careful.” I silence the engine and slide the keys out of the ignition. “If my mom hangs out here, I’m betting this place is a lot sketchier than it looks.”
“He was.” My voice is uneven and my eyes burn with tears as I recollect all the great times I had with my dad up until he died. I suck in deep breaths of air, trying to keep the waterworks back.
He delicately cups my cheek. “You know what I think we should do?”
“What?” A tear manages to escape and rolls down my cheek.
“I think for your next birthday we should go to the beach and catch magic in the waves all day. You can swim now, right?”
Laughing, I wipe the tear away with the back of my hand. “Yes, I can swim now. Although, I still never have figured out how to catch magic in the waves.”
“We’ll figure it out,” he promises. “Just as long as you promise to let me spend your next birthday with you.”
He’s asking me for way more than just a birthday. He knows it. I know it. Part of me wants to bolt out of the booth. But after spending so much time with Jax, learning who he is, and opening up to him, I’m starting to wonder if he’ll protect my heart for me.
“I’ll tell you what.” My voice is still a little unsteady, but for an entirely different reason. “You can spend my next birthday with me catching magic in the waves if I can spend your next birthday with you, baking you an absurdly awesome cake.”
His brow crooks. “You can bake?”
“Kind of. My Aunt Nelli’s really good at it, so I can get some pointers from her.” I playfully bump my shoulder into his. “Don’t worry. I promise you’ll have an amazing day.”
“I believe you.”
“Good. So is it a deal?”
“It’s a deal.” His tongue slides out and wets his lips. “I want to kiss you right now.” He doesn’t lean in and take the kiss. He waits for me to offer it.
I nod my head once and the movement is easier than I thought it would be.
He frees a breath then moves in and touches his lips to mine. The kiss is quick, just a soft caress of lips, a teasing taste, just enough to leave me craving more.
More kisses.
More touches.
More of him.
Chapter Fourteen
Jax
After we leave the restaurant, we return to the motel and spend the next hour kissing until we fall asleep in bed. In the early hours of daybreak, we wake up, get dressed, and hit the streets to ask around for my mother. But everyone seems about as hesitant as Melinda to divulge anything.
The day is exhausting, but Clara is a trooper. With each passing hour, I become more grateful she’s here with me, not just because she’s opening up to me more but because she’s been really good at keeping me together. Every time I grow frustrated, she calms me down and forces me to take a break. I think I might be falling in love with her and wish I could get the courage to tell her how I feel, but the time doesn’t seem right.
Still, now that I know more about her, maybe our relationship can move forward now—that the whole friends with benefits deal can come to an end. While she did make the promise to spend our next birthdays together, she still hasn’t verbally revoked her friends-with-benefits rules, so all I can do is wait until she decides if she trusts me—if she wants me as more than a fuck buddy.
Around eight o’clock at night, I peel out of the gas station and cruise toward Neon Madness to see if by chance Marcus has shown up. I’m a little nervous about going straight to the source, but at this point I don’t see another option.
On our way there, Clara and I stop at a fast food place to grab a quick bite to eat. The inside of the car stinks like grease and fries, and our shakes are melting in the cup holders.
“What do you think the odds are that Lester told the truth about Marcus being at this place?” Clara asks as she pops a fry into her mouth.
“He’s about as reliable as everyone else we’ve talked to, so the odds seem kind of low.” I slow at a stop sign and steal a fry from the bag on Clara’s lap. “But, at this point, I have to try any lead I can get.”
I crank up the heater. With the clouds rolling in, the air is even breezier than it normally is in May. That’s the thing about Wyoming—summer, fall, winter, spring, the nights are always cold.
“So, this club that we’re going to, is it like the Dirty Tiger?” Clara picks up a cup of Coke and takes a sip from the straw.
“I honestly don’t know. I’ve never heard of it until yesterday.” I flip on the headlights as the sun descends below the mountains, and night progressively shadows the land.
“I hope not.” She dunks a fry into a cup of ranch. “That place was so gross. And I don’t care if that makes me sound sheltered. I’m starting to realize being sheltered might not be a bad thing.”
“No, it’s definitely not,” I agree, making a right at the next intersection.
We drive up the main street bordered by bars, diners, and knickknack stores until Neon Madness comes into view. Every square foot of the building has been spray-painted with florescent hues of green, pink, yellow, and orange. Lights of similar colors flash vibrantly from through the windows and along the trim of the room.
“Well, the name is fitting,” I remark as I flip on my blinker to turn into the gravelly parking lot.
“It doesn’t look as bad as the Dirty Tiger.” Clara sits forward in the seat as she examines the place.
“We still should be careful.” I silence the engine and slide the keys out of the ignition. “If my mom hangs out here, I’m betting this place is a lot sketchier than it looks.”
