Rushing the Goal
Page 43
“Okay, no big deal. Don’t freak. I’m good—”
“Did you ever think that maybe it’s okay to be a little down sometimes? To reach out for help?” Avery asked, her voice a little hard. “You can’t be strong all the time, and that’s okay.”
“Yes, I can, and I’m good. I promise. Little lapse of freak-out, no biggie. Don’t worry, I’m good. I’ll call you later. Rick just pulled up,” she said, but it was a lie. Before Avery could call her on it, Lucy told her she loved her and hung up. Leaning back in her seat, she closed her eyes. Sometimes she was convinced she sucked at life. She was good with Angie, or at least, she tried to be, but everything else…? Yeah, she was a mess. It really wasn’t fair. When was she going to catch a break?
As she watched the time, she didn’t listen to anything on the radio. No, she was too busy replaying every single caress of Benji’s hand. The sweep of his lips against her neck and jaw. The way he held her gaze and she felt beautiful. Safe. That was what she missed most and what was so hard to leave behind when she was carefully wiggling out of his hold.
The protection he gave her.
She wasn’t sure what she needed protection from, but when she was in his arms, she felt like nothing could even come close to touching her. Nothing could stress her out. No, she was lost in those arms, the thickness of them. The warmth. She missed the warmth. It was just easy with him. She didn’t have to try so hard. She was just herself, and he was into it.
Blah.
She also wanted to know more. Yeah, he was a great lay, best she had ever had—not that there was a long list to compare him to—but still, he was wonderful. So damn attentive, and those hands… Jesus. But, besides that, she wanted to know who he was. His house didn’t give her anything to work with. It was so bare. Well, except that she knew he was a nerd who played video games and collected toys, but there weren’t any pictures. Not even of him playing. It was weird, and she wanted to know more.
She wanted to know what the tattoo on his chest meant.
Laying right over his heart was a pair of angel wings with the words, “Your wings were ready, but my heart was not.” She figured he had lost someone. Maybe his mom or dad or something. She wasn’t sure, but she had this burning in her stomach from wanting to know. Though that would be such a bad idea. A date was completely off the table now. She had already slept with him. He’d had his face between her legs; what else could even come from a date?
Trouble, fucking trouble.
More stupid, dumb-ass feelings.
No, she needed to stay away from him. Far away.
She wasn’t sure how that was going to work, but she’d figure it out. She would.
Or she’d probably end up in bed with him again.
It would go either way.
God, was she a whore?
Before she knew it, an hour had passed and she’d convinced herself she was the scum of the earth when Rick pulled up. Reaching for the tennis shoes she had grabbed out of her apartment, she put them on. She got out as Angie ran toward her, hugging her tightly.
“I missed you,” she said against Lucy’s stomach and she cringed. She should have showered. Did Angie smell him? Ew, stop thinking that!
“I missed you more, baby,” she said, squeezing her tightly. “Tell your dad bye and then get in the car. I tried to leave you a spot, but it’s tight.”
Angie made a face, looking from the car to her. “Why is all our stuff in the car?”
“I’ll tell you on the way to Grandma’s,” she said sadly before Rick came to a stop in front of her.
“Living out of your car? Not sure how that makes me feel. Maybe I should take her back with me.”
Maybe you should go fuck yourself, is what she thought, but now wasn’t the time for that. “She’s fine,” she said stiffly as Angie gave him a half hug.
“Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, love bug,” he said with a grin, but neither of them was impressed as Angie took her bag and got into the car. Looking to Lucy, he made a face. “You look like shit. Sleep in your car? Isn’t that the dress you had on yesterday?”
Lucy rolled her eyes, exhaling a long breath. “Listen, two things. I don’t want to fight with you, and I’m not going to. I’m going to say what I need to and then I’m getting in the car and leaving. I don’t have time or patience for the whirlwind of dicks you like to throw at my face, okay?”
He scoffed at her, a condescending grin on his face. “I’m excited.”
“Yeah,” she said, letting out a breath.
“Wait, before you start running that mouth,” he said, interrupting her. She glared. “Who’s this Benji fucker? That’s all Angie kept telling Nina about. Is he that coach? The one all up in my business?”
His name made her heart flutter. Swallowing hard, her face went red. Did Rick suspect she slept with him? Shit. No. That was silly. No one knew. Well, except Avery and Benji, but still. Stop being crazy! “Yeah, he’s one of her coaches. He also plays on the Assassins with Jayden.”
“Loser. Who wants to coach kids?”
Her eye twitched. Yes, she had thought the same thing, but Rick had no clue who Benji was. It surprised her but also worried her how easy it was to defend him. “Obviously, someone who likes kids.”
“Or a pedophile.”
Her body shook with anger all of a sudden. What the hell? “You don’t know him. He’s a good dude, really good with Angie,” she spat back. But then she pressed her lips together.
“Did you ever think that maybe it’s okay to be a little down sometimes? To reach out for help?” Avery asked, her voice a little hard. “You can’t be strong all the time, and that’s okay.”
“Yes, I can, and I’m good. I promise. Little lapse of freak-out, no biggie. Don’t worry, I’m good. I’ll call you later. Rick just pulled up,” she said, but it was a lie. Before Avery could call her on it, Lucy told her she loved her and hung up. Leaning back in her seat, she closed her eyes. Sometimes she was convinced she sucked at life. She was good with Angie, or at least, she tried to be, but everything else…? Yeah, she was a mess. It really wasn’t fair. When was she going to catch a break?
As she watched the time, she didn’t listen to anything on the radio. No, she was too busy replaying every single caress of Benji’s hand. The sweep of his lips against her neck and jaw. The way he held her gaze and she felt beautiful. Safe. That was what she missed most and what was so hard to leave behind when she was carefully wiggling out of his hold.
The protection he gave her.
She wasn’t sure what she needed protection from, but when she was in his arms, she felt like nothing could even come close to touching her. Nothing could stress her out. No, she was lost in those arms, the thickness of them. The warmth. She missed the warmth. It was just easy with him. She didn’t have to try so hard. She was just herself, and he was into it.
Blah.
She also wanted to know more. Yeah, he was a great lay, best she had ever had—not that there was a long list to compare him to—but still, he was wonderful. So damn attentive, and those hands… Jesus. But, besides that, she wanted to know who he was. His house didn’t give her anything to work with. It was so bare. Well, except that she knew he was a nerd who played video games and collected toys, but there weren’t any pictures. Not even of him playing. It was weird, and she wanted to know more.
She wanted to know what the tattoo on his chest meant.
Laying right over his heart was a pair of angel wings with the words, “Your wings were ready, but my heart was not.” She figured he had lost someone. Maybe his mom or dad or something. She wasn’t sure, but she had this burning in her stomach from wanting to know. Though that would be such a bad idea. A date was completely off the table now. She had already slept with him. He’d had his face between her legs; what else could even come from a date?
Trouble, fucking trouble.
More stupid, dumb-ass feelings.
No, she needed to stay away from him. Far away.
She wasn’t sure how that was going to work, but she’d figure it out. She would.
Or she’d probably end up in bed with him again.
It would go either way.
God, was she a whore?
Before she knew it, an hour had passed and she’d convinced herself she was the scum of the earth when Rick pulled up. Reaching for the tennis shoes she had grabbed out of her apartment, she put them on. She got out as Angie ran toward her, hugging her tightly.
“I missed you,” she said against Lucy’s stomach and she cringed. She should have showered. Did Angie smell him? Ew, stop thinking that!
“I missed you more, baby,” she said, squeezing her tightly. “Tell your dad bye and then get in the car. I tried to leave you a spot, but it’s tight.”
Angie made a face, looking from the car to her. “Why is all our stuff in the car?”
“I’ll tell you on the way to Grandma’s,” she said sadly before Rick came to a stop in front of her.
“Living out of your car? Not sure how that makes me feel. Maybe I should take her back with me.”
Maybe you should go fuck yourself, is what she thought, but now wasn’t the time for that. “She’s fine,” she said stiffly as Angie gave him a half hug.
“Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, love bug,” he said with a grin, but neither of them was impressed as Angie took her bag and got into the car. Looking to Lucy, he made a face. “You look like shit. Sleep in your car? Isn’t that the dress you had on yesterday?”
Lucy rolled her eyes, exhaling a long breath. “Listen, two things. I don’t want to fight with you, and I’m not going to. I’m going to say what I need to and then I’m getting in the car and leaving. I don’t have time or patience for the whirlwind of dicks you like to throw at my face, okay?”
He scoffed at her, a condescending grin on his face. “I’m excited.”
“Yeah,” she said, letting out a breath.
“Wait, before you start running that mouth,” he said, interrupting her. She glared. “Who’s this Benji fucker? That’s all Angie kept telling Nina about. Is he that coach? The one all up in my business?”
His name made her heart flutter. Swallowing hard, her face went red. Did Rick suspect she slept with him? Shit. No. That was silly. No one knew. Well, except Avery and Benji, but still. Stop being crazy! “Yeah, he’s one of her coaches. He also plays on the Assassins with Jayden.”
“Loser. Who wants to coach kids?”
Her eye twitched. Yes, she had thought the same thing, but Rick had no clue who Benji was. It surprised her but also worried her how easy it was to defend him. “Obviously, someone who likes kids.”
“Or a pedophile.”
Her body shook with anger all of a sudden. What the hell? “You don’t know him. He’s a good dude, really good with Angie,” she spat back. But then she pressed her lips together.
