Rushing the Goal
Page 98
“There is nothing to settle. Things are good the way they are.”
He finally looked at her, his brown eyes blazing as he glared. “I want more time with my daughter. Maybe then you won’t subject her to these men who do nothing but put thoughts in her head.”
She looked away, her face scrunching up. “You have two weekends a month to spend time with her. And who are these men?”
“Any man you bring around her. She’s starting to get mouthy, telling me to leave her alone, ignoring me and shit. That’s not right. I want more time with her so she knows who to respect. Why won’t you just give her to me?”
“Because I don’t believe you really want her. To make sure she knows who to respect? Rick, she is the most respectful, sweetest kid I know. Yeah, she’s wacky, but she’s very respectful.”
“She’s insane. Always bouncing around and being so damn loud.”
“Because she has ADHD. She can’t help it!”
He rolled his eyes. “There you go. With your shield of made-up diagnosis…ses,” he bit back and she glared.
“I’m not making up the diagnosis,” she corrected. “It’s the fucking truth. Maybe if you spent time with her, you’d realize what kind of kid she is. She tells me all she does is play with Nina when she’s at your house. That you don’t even really talk to her or deal with her, so I don’t believe you. And if she disrespects you, it’s because you don’t have the time for her that is needed to establish boundaries.”
“What?” he shouted. “You’re gonna believe a seven-year-old over an adult?”
Lucy shot him a guarded look. “Believe my child who doesn’t lie to me, who is a beautiful, God-loving child, over the man who cheated, lied, and smacked me around? Yeah, I think so.”
He glared. “You are pathetic, you know that? You’re just trying to keep her from me because you know she loves me more.”
Lucy couldn’t help it, she laughed, shaking her head. This dude was delusional. Looking at him, she held his heated gaze and her eyes pleaded. “Do you know how much I wish that were true? How I wished she loved going to your house? Spending time with you? How much I wish she didn’t come home a different person because all you do is yell at her when she’s there? I want you to have a relationship with her. I’ve wanted that, no matter what, because I know what it did for me as a child to have my parents both love me. But you care about Heidi and Nina more than you do Angie.”
Her fairy-tale family ended when her dad cheated on her mom, but for a long time, Lucy loved the idea of love. Knew that she had two people behind her. Yeah, she was stubborn and did what she wanted. But she knew if she needed them, they were there. Both of them. All Angie had was Lucy…
And… Crap, was she really thinking this?
Benji.
Benji had been there more for Angie in the last three weeks than Rick had been in the last seven years.
She was going to hell for that thought.
Blistering with anger, he shook his head. “That’s not true at all! I don’t favor them.”
“Really? Why didn’t you say bye to Angie last weekend? She thought you weren’t here, and that hurt her.”
“That’s a lie. She saw me.”
“Apparently not. She asked me if you were here. I had to tell her you were because you didn’t go see her.”
He glared, his face flushing red as he spat out, “Because I was pissed at you.”
“And because you are pissed at me, you hurt her? How does that make sense? Our issues are our issues. Don’t let it bleed over to our child.”
“Well, if you weren’t such a bitch all the time, we wouldn’t have that problem.”
“Do you hear yourself? I shouldn’t matter—”
“Well, when you’re a shit mom and have your shit boyfriend try to cover for your crap, then, yeah, I’m gonna be mad.”
“That’s enough,” she roared, her body breaking into a heat rash from the anger bubbling in her soul. “You will not talk to me like that. I am a good mother. I love our daughter, and she’ll tell you that backward, sideways, and upside down. She loves me.”
“Oh, yeah, mother of the year,” he muttered, and she swore it was taking everything out of her not to beat his face.
But as she stared at the side of his head, she said, “Also, Benji has nothing to do with this. His concern is for our safety, the same way you wouldn’t let anyone talk to Heidi the way you talk to me.”
He scoffed. “Whatever, he’s a wannabe daddy. Trying to steal my daughter.”
“Are you serious? Benji would never. But, man, are you jealous, Rick? That I’m moving on? That Angie has a man to look up to?”
He scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t give two shits about you or him. And my daughter has someone. Me.”
That was a lie and they both knew it. He wanted to control Lucy, he wanted her to be submissive to him, and he hated that she never was. Never would be. He was so far from a father figure for Angie, it was sad. In some fucked-up part of her, Lucy had thought maybe he could change. But the more nonsense that fell out of his mouth, the more she knew her baby daddy was a big, steamy pile of shit.
“See, I disagree. Because if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t worry so much about my personal life and would only worry about how our daughter feels.”
He finally looked at her, his brown eyes blazing as he glared. “I want more time with my daughter. Maybe then you won’t subject her to these men who do nothing but put thoughts in her head.”
She looked away, her face scrunching up. “You have two weekends a month to spend time with her. And who are these men?”
“Any man you bring around her. She’s starting to get mouthy, telling me to leave her alone, ignoring me and shit. That’s not right. I want more time with her so she knows who to respect. Why won’t you just give her to me?”
“Because I don’t believe you really want her. To make sure she knows who to respect? Rick, she is the most respectful, sweetest kid I know. Yeah, she’s wacky, but she’s very respectful.”
“She’s insane. Always bouncing around and being so damn loud.”
“Because she has ADHD. She can’t help it!”
He rolled his eyes. “There you go. With your shield of made-up diagnosis…ses,” he bit back and she glared.
“I’m not making up the diagnosis,” she corrected. “It’s the fucking truth. Maybe if you spent time with her, you’d realize what kind of kid she is. She tells me all she does is play with Nina when she’s at your house. That you don’t even really talk to her or deal with her, so I don’t believe you. And if she disrespects you, it’s because you don’t have the time for her that is needed to establish boundaries.”
“What?” he shouted. “You’re gonna believe a seven-year-old over an adult?”
Lucy shot him a guarded look. “Believe my child who doesn’t lie to me, who is a beautiful, God-loving child, over the man who cheated, lied, and smacked me around? Yeah, I think so.”
He glared. “You are pathetic, you know that? You’re just trying to keep her from me because you know she loves me more.”
Lucy couldn’t help it, she laughed, shaking her head. This dude was delusional. Looking at him, she held his heated gaze and her eyes pleaded. “Do you know how much I wish that were true? How I wished she loved going to your house? Spending time with you? How much I wish she didn’t come home a different person because all you do is yell at her when she’s there? I want you to have a relationship with her. I’ve wanted that, no matter what, because I know what it did for me as a child to have my parents both love me. But you care about Heidi and Nina more than you do Angie.”
Her fairy-tale family ended when her dad cheated on her mom, but for a long time, Lucy loved the idea of love. Knew that she had two people behind her. Yeah, she was stubborn and did what she wanted. But she knew if she needed them, they were there. Both of them. All Angie had was Lucy…
And… Crap, was she really thinking this?
Benji.
Benji had been there more for Angie in the last three weeks than Rick had been in the last seven years.
She was going to hell for that thought.
Blistering with anger, he shook his head. “That’s not true at all! I don’t favor them.”
“Really? Why didn’t you say bye to Angie last weekend? She thought you weren’t here, and that hurt her.”
“That’s a lie. She saw me.”
“Apparently not. She asked me if you were here. I had to tell her you were because you didn’t go see her.”
He glared, his face flushing red as he spat out, “Because I was pissed at you.”
“And because you are pissed at me, you hurt her? How does that make sense? Our issues are our issues. Don’t let it bleed over to our child.”
“Well, if you weren’t such a bitch all the time, we wouldn’t have that problem.”
“Do you hear yourself? I shouldn’t matter—”
“Well, when you’re a shit mom and have your shit boyfriend try to cover for your crap, then, yeah, I’m gonna be mad.”
“That’s enough,” she roared, her body breaking into a heat rash from the anger bubbling in her soul. “You will not talk to me like that. I am a good mother. I love our daughter, and she’ll tell you that backward, sideways, and upside down. She loves me.”
“Oh, yeah, mother of the year,” he muttered, and she swore it was taking everything out of her not to beat his face.
But as she stared at the side of his head, she said, “Also, Benji has nothing to do with this. His concern is for our safety, the same way you wouldn’t let anyone talk to Heidi the way you talk to me.”
He scoffed. “Whatever, he’s a wannabe daddy. Trying to steal my daughter.”
“Are you serious? Benji would never. But, man, are you jealous, Rick? That I’m moving on? That Angie has a man to look up to?”
He scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t give two shits about you or him. And my daughter has someone. Me.”
That was a lie and they both knew it. He wanted to control Lucy, he wanted her to be submissive to him, and he hated that she never was. Never would be. He was so far from a father figure for Angie, it was sad. In some fucked-up part of her, Lucy had thought maybe he could change. But the more nonsense that fell out of his mouth, the more she knew her baby daddy was a big, steamy pile of shit.
“See, I disagree. Because if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t worry so much about my personal life and would only worry about how our daughter feels.”
