Salvaged
Page 42
I tried telling him without words, I used my hands and my mouth, greedy with the way I touched him and tasted him, but he always stopped. We were so close to crossing the inevitable line that would launch us from being something casual into something serious and significant. He told me we had time, that he wasn’t going anywhere, but that didn’t stop my insides from feeling empty and lust from making me edgy and unsatisfied no matter how skilled he was with his hands and his mouth. I wanted all of him, not just the parts that he deemed safe and harmless.
I cleared my throat and reached for my glass of water as Salem’s sharp gaze shifted from the decadent-looking cheesecake and towering carrot cake that were placed in front of her. She handed me a spoon and lifted a raven-colored eyebrow at me as she waited for me to find the words that were having a hard time situating themselves on my tongue.
“About the present …” I could feel a fiery blush work its way up my throat and across my cheeks. “You know I’ve been spending a lot of time with Wheeler the last few weeks.”
She nodded and scooped a spoonful of cake into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure and gave me a grin. “I couldn’t be more thrilled. Rowdy gives him his stamp of approval, even with the baby mama in the picture.”
The fact that Rowdy liked Wheeler was also a check mark in the plus category in my books, but the truth was, I was so far gone over the moody mechanic that even if Rowdy didn’t approve I would still be trying to figure out a way inside Wheeler’s cuffed and faded jeans.
“Well, things are going … good.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as she set the spoon down, propped her elbow on the table, and rested her chin on her hand.
She fluttered her obnoxiously long eyelashes at me and purred, “Do tell.”
I traced the condensation on the outside of the glass in front of me with a fingertip and avoided her probing gaze. “He’s sweet. He’s patient. He’s stupidly hot.” I sighed and couldn’t keep the wistful, dreamy quality out of it. “I like him, way more than like him, and most importantly, I like the way he is with me, but …”
She tapped her fingers on the side of her face and her ruby-red lips split into a blinding smile. “But him being a nice guy in the bedroom is getting old?”
That surprised a laugh out of me and I nodded solemnly. “I never thought I would say it, but yeah. He’s been giving me time to get used to him, and I adore him for that, but I feel like I’m all broken in now. I don’t want him to think he’s in bed with a victim. I want him to know he’s with a survivor.”
My sister’s smile grew and she turned back to her double dessert. “So show him that’s what you are. Don’t wait for him to figure it out. Seduce him, show him that you’re ready for the next step.”
I leaned back a little and put my hand to my racing heart. “I don’t want to seem desperate.”
She snorted again and tossed some of her long, glossy hair over her shoulder. “Poppy, when there is a good man in your life, one you want to keep there, it isn’t desperation to go out of your way to make sure he knows he matters to you.” She pointed her frosting-covered spoon at me and told me with humor threaded throughout her tone, “We’ve all been there. All of us.”
On the hand not holding the spoon she started ticking off examples on her fingers. “Shaw got drunk and jumped Rule on her birthday. Ayden showed up at one of Jet’s shows with another guy on Valentine’s Day. Cora showed up unannounced at Rome’s and pounced on him when he got out of the shower and ended up knocked up. Saint promised Nash ten minutes to rock his world. I packed up my entire life and moved across the country for a boy I hadn’t seen in years because I was sure he was the one, and Royal showed up at Asa’s in the middle of the night wearing nothing but an overcoat.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively, which made me laugh as she kept going. “You know Sayer had ulterior motives when she offered to help Zeb paint that old house he was working on, and last but not least Avett took a header off a freaking cliff knowing good and well Quaid was going to have to jump after her crazy ass. You were there when Dixie climbed on the back of Church’s bike even though she was scared to death after what happened to her dad. All the women I know that landed a good man had to give them a little push in the right direction at one point or another. Sometimes it takes a nudge to get the knight in shining armor to drop his shield.”
I felt my mouth drop open in a small “oh” of surprise. Her recounting of our friends’ exploits was incredibly eye-opening. They were the strongest, most well-loved women I had ever met, and if they could make a move and be none the worse for wear after, then I should be able to as well. “And honestly, those dimples. Come on, how is that even fair to anyone with a vagina? I can’t believe you’ve behaved yourself this long with that kind of temptation close enough to lick.”
We shared a laugh that had the tables next to us giving us questioning looks but Salem just smiled at the other diners and gave them an outrageous wink.
I finally picked up a spoon and dug into the still-untouched cheesecake. “What can I say, good things come to those who wait.” At least I hoped they did because as of tonight I was done waiting. I was going to move him where I wanted him, the same way he always seemed to be moving me. But I was sure as hell was planning on touching him to get him where I wanted him.
When I got home, I wandered around my apartment for a solid hour trying to figure out exactly how I could plan a night of seduction when Wheeler came over after work. I cleaned the place up, dug out some really sad-looking candles I had just in case of emergencies, turned to my old standby Pinterest in search of ideas for making my bedroom something romantic and attractive rather than a place where demons chased me in the dark. All of it felt off and way too forced. Even if I set the mood in my apartment, it wasn’t like I owned anything sultry and seductive that would work as a flashing, light-up sign saying DO ME NOW! All I had was my regular sleepwear that covered me from wrists to ankles and he’d had no problem keeping his basic urges in check when I curled up next to him wearing it.
It all felt like I was setting some kind of sexual trap, like I was trying to lure him into something he might not actually want, no matter how insistent he was that he was simply waiting for the right time to seal the deal.
I cleared my throat and reached for my glass of water as Salem’s sharp gaze shifted from the decadent-looking cheesecake and towering carrot cake that were placed in front of her. She handed me a spoon and lifted a raven-colored eyebrow at me as she waited for me to find the words that were having a hard time situating themselves on my tongue.
“About the present …” I could feel a fiery blush work its way up my throat and across my cheeks. “You know I’ve been spending a lot of time with Wheeler the last few weeks.”
She nodded and scooped a spoonful of cake into her mouth. She moaned in pleasure and gave me a grin. “I couldn’t be more thrilled. Rowdy gives him his stamp of approval, even with the baby mama in the picture.”
The fact that Rowdy liked Wheeler was also a check mark in the plus category in my books, but the truth was, I was so far gone over the moody mechanic that even if Rowdy didn’t approve I would still be trying to figure out a way inside Wheeler’s cuffed and faded jeans.
“Well, things are going … good.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as she set the spoon down, propped her elbow on the table, and rested her chin on her hand.
She fluttered her obnoxiously long eyelashes at me and purred, “Do tell.”
I traced the condensation on the outside of the glass in front of me with a fingertip and avoided her probing gaze. “He’s sweet. He’s patient. He’s stupidly hot.” I sighed and couldn’t keep the wistful, dreamy quality out of it. “I like him, way more than like him, and most importantly, I like the way he is with me, but …”
She tapped her fingers on the side of her face and her ruby-red lips split into a blinding smile. “But him being a nice guy in the bedroom is getting old?”
That surprised a laugh out of me and I nodded solemnly. “I never thought I would say it, but yeah. He’s been giving me time to get used to him, and I adore him for that, but I feel like I’m all broken in now. I don’t want him to think he’s in bed with a victim. I want him to know he’s with a survivor.”
My sister’s smile grew and she turned back to her double dessert. “So show him that’s what you are. Don’t wait for him to figure it out. Seduce him, show him that you’re ready for the next step.”
I leaned back a little and put my hand to my racing heart. “I don’t want to seem desperate.”
She snorted again and tossed some of her long, glossy hair over her shoulder. “Poppy, when there is a good man in your life, one you want to keep there, it isn’t desperation to go out of your way to make sure he knows he matters to you.” She pointed her frosting-covered spoon at me and told me with humor threaded throughout her tone, “We’ve all been there. All of us.”
On the hand not holding the spoon she started ticking off examples on her fingers. “Shaw got drunk and jumped Rule on her birthday. Ayden showed up at one of Jet’s shows with another guy on Valentine’s Day. Cora showed up unannounced at Rome’s and pounced on him when he got out of the shower and ended up knocked up. Saint promised Nash ten minutes to rock his world. I packed up my entire life and moved across the country for a boy I hadn’t seen in years because I was sure he was the one, and Royal showed up at Asa’s in the middle of the night wearing nothing but an overcoat.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively, which made me laugh as she kept going. “You know Sayer had ulterior motives when she offered to help Zeb paint that old house he was working on, and last but not least Avett took a header off a freaking cliff knowing good and well Quaid was going to have to jump after her crazy ass. You were there when Dixie climbed on the back of Church’s bike even though she was scared to death after what happened to her dad. All the women I know that landed a good man had to give them a little push in the right direction at one point or another. Sometimes it takes a nudge to get the knight in shining armor to drop his shield.”
I felt my mouth drop open in a small “oh” of surprise. Her recounting of our friends’ exploits was incredibly eye-opening. They were the strongest, most well-loved women I had ever met, and if they could make a move and be none the worse for wear after, then I should be able to as well. “And honestly, those dimples. Come on, how is that even fair to anyone with a vagina? I can’t believe you’ve behaved yourself this long with that kind of temptation close enough to lick.”
We shared a laugh that had the tables next to us giving us questioning looks but Salem just smiled at the other diners and gave them an outrageous wink.
I finally picked up a spoon and dug into the still-untouched cheesecake. “What can I say, good things come to those who wait.” At least I hoped they did because as of tonight I was done waiting. I was going to move him where I wanted him, the same way he always seemed to be moving me. But I was sure as hell was planning on touching him to get him where I wanted him.
When I got home, I wandered around my apartment for a solid hour trying to figure out exactly how I could plan a night of seduction when Wheeler came over after work. I cleaned the place up, dug out some really sad-looking candles I had just in case of emergencies, turned to my old standby Pinterest in search of ideas for making my bedroom something romantic and attractive rather than a place where demons chased me in the dark. All of it felt off and way too forced. Even if I set the mood in my apartment, it wasn’t like I owned anything sultry and seductive that would work as a flashing, light-up sign saying DO ME NOW! All I had was my regular sleepwear that covered me from wrists to ankles and he’d had no problem keeping his basic urges in check when I curled up next to him wearing it.
It all felt like I was setting some kind of sexual trap, like I was trying to lure him into something he might not actually want, no matter how insistent he was that he was simply waiting for the right time to seal the deal.
