Salvaged
Page 53
“I know you have plans with Kallie and her family today and I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’m concerned about something and I can’t ask Salem about it because it will upset her.” She sounded even more anxious than she normally did. “I would have called Sayer and asked her opinion but she’s already held my hand through more than one crisis and she has her own family to worry about now.”
Her words eerily fit with the disjointed feeling I was having standing in front of the Carmichaels’ door. “If you need me you’ve got me, Poppy.” I couldn’t promise that she would always come first, not with a baby on the way, but I could promise that I would always find a way to be there for her when she needed me.
“It’s silly, really.” She sighed and I could hear her moving around the puppy making noise in the background.
“If it matters to you, then it matters to me. Tell me what’s got you tied in knots.” I heard movement on the other side of the door I was standing in front of and saw the curtains twitch. I was expected but I wasn’t welcome.
She sighed again and I could picture her tugging on the ends of her hair and chewing on her bottom lip as clearly as if she was standing in front of me. “I told you that my mom called a few weeks ago and asked about Salem and the baby. I haven’t heard from her since, and honestly I’m a little worried. My father is not a nice man. If he found out she contacted me, if he knows she’s interested in her children and their lives after he pretty much disowned us, it won’t be good for her.”
I let out a grunt and lifted my head as the door in front of me opened to reveal my scowling ex-girlfriend. She looked pointedly at the phone in my hand and gave a little growl when I held up a finger indicating that I would be a minute. “Why worry about her if she was so willing to throw you to the wolves your whole life?” I knew the answer to my question before she replied. The men before me in her life had tried to shred that soft heart of hers, but they failed. It took blow after blow, and each time it healed. That heart was stronger and more resilient than anyone gave it credit for.
“I know what it’s like to live with a man that will do his best to destroy you before you’ve had a cup of coffee in the morning. I just want to check on her, make sure she’s okay, but I can’t call the house. I can’t risk my father answering the phone.” Her voice shook with bone-deep fear as she told me, “I can’t allow him to break all the things I’ve worked so hard to fix.”
I wouldn’t allow him to undo everything she had worked so hard to put back in place. “Text me her name and her number and I’ll call their house when I’m done here. I can check on her for you.” Kallie was tapping her toe in front of me and had her arms crossed over her chest. I rolled my eyes at her obvious impatience and told Poppy, “I’m not scared of your father, honey. I’ll take him on for you.”
Her relief was practically palpable as she thanked me and told me she would send the info over. She wished me luck with my upcoming powwow and told me she would be around if I needed to talk, or anything else when it was all said and done. Just like that, the balance between the two of us evened out some of the unsteadiness I was feeling about having to face the Carmichaels. I would do what I could for her and she would be there for me. I’d always wanted something solid, something sure and steady … who knew my stability would come in the form of a girl that seemed so fragile and breakable? She didn’t seem like she should be able to withstand the weight of anything pressing down on her, but somehow she managed to hold not only herself up but me as well when I needed her to.
“You call her honey?” Kallie slid to the side as I stepped through the doorway. Her eyes had a hint of hurt in them that I chose to ignore.
“I do. Everything about her looks like honey—her hair, her eyes, her skin—plus she’s sweet.”
Kallie flinched. “You never gave me a cute little nickname.”
I understood how hard it was to watch someone you had given so much of your life to move on. That being said, I had no time or place in the new way Kallie and I were together for any kind of misplaced jealousy. “No, but I gave you nearly a decade of my life and I bought you a house, in case you forgot. Not to mention the fact we made a baby together.” I looked meaningfully at her slightly rounded waistline.
She huffed out a breath and led me toward the living room. It felt a lot like the walks I used to take when the social worker would show up at whatever temporary home I’d been placed in only to tell me it was time to move again. I was dreading every second of this family get-together, but even after she tore my dreams apart, I couldn’t abandon Kallie, and not just because she was the mother of my child. We’d grown up together. We’d had a life together. We’d been each other’s safety net for a long time and there was no way I could let her jump off this cliff alone.
“I want to meet her.” Kallie’s tone dropped so that only I could hear her as we got closer to the living room, where her parents were undoubtedly waiting to pounce. I felt a little like a lamb being led to slaughter, which wasn’t fair since this was all Kallie’s show and I was just here for moral support. “If she’s going to be in your life then she’s going to be in our baby’s life. I want the chance to get to know her.”
I bit back a groan and gave Kallie a narrow-eyed look. “She’s been through a lot in her life, Kallie. She isn’t just some girl off the street or some chick I picked up in a bar. She’s a woman that’s been through the kind of hell neither of us can imagine and I’m not going to let you put her through the wringer just because you’re suddenly jealous I’m moving on. She doesn’t deserve that.” I wasn’t going to let Kallie punish Poppy for wanting me in all the ways she didn’t.
She shook her blond head and reached out to put a hand on my forearm. “It’s not like that, Wheeler. I mean I am a little jealous … it was you and me for so long that I’m not really sure how to deal with you and her, but I know that’s my problem. I’ll work through it. I want to thank her.”
I blinked at her in surprise and suspicion. “Thank her for what?”
“I know how hard it was for you to get on board with this baby and I know you were nowhere near forgiving me for the things I did and the way I treated you. This girl showed up and all of a sudden you’re back to being the thoughtful, reasonable man I loved for most of my life. I pushed you into being a person I didn’t recognize; she brought you back. I mean maybe you would have found your way without her, but since I’m impatient and scared shitless about becoming a mom, I’m super grateful that she sped the process up. Plus, I could see how scared of me she was that night I showed up at Dixie’s apartment. I want her to know I’m not normally a shrieking she-beast.”
Her words eerily fit with the disjointed feeling I was having standing in front of the Carmichaels’ door. “If you need me you’ve got me, Poppy.” I couldn’t promise that she would always come first, not with a baby on the way, but I could promise that I would always find a way to be there for her when she needed me.
“It’s silly, really.” She sighed and I could hear her moving around the puppy making noise in the background.
“If it matters to you, then it matters to me. Tell me what’s got you tied in knots.” I heard movement on the other side of the door I was standing in front of and saw the curtains twitch. I was expected but I wasn’t welcome.
She sighed again and I could picture her tugging on the ends of her hair and chewing on her bottom lip as clearly as if she was standing in front of me. “I told you that my mom called a few weeks ago and asked about Salem and the baby. I haven’t heard from her since, and honestly I’m a little worried. My father is not a nice man. If he found out she contacted me, if he knows she’s interested in her children and their lives after he pretty much disowned us, it won’t be good for her.”
I let out a grunt and lifted my head as the door in front of me opened to reveal my scowling ex-girlfriend. She looked pointedly at the phone in my hand and gave a little growl when I held up a finger indicating that I would be a minute. “Why worry about her if she was so willing to throw you to the wolves your whole life?” I knew the answer to my question before she replied. The men before me in her life had tried to shred that soft heart of hers, but they failed. It took blow after blow, and each time it healed. That heart was stronger and more resilient than anyone gave it credit for.
“I know what it’s like to live with a man that will do his best to destroy you before you’ve had a cup of coffee in the morning. I just want to check on her, make sure she’s okay, but I can’t call the house. I can’t risk my father answering the phone.” Her voice shook with bone-deep fear as she told me, “I can’t allow him to break all the things I’ve worked so hard to fix.”
I wouldn’t allow him to undo everything she had worked so hard to put back in place. “Text me her name and her number and I’ll call their house when I’m done here. I can check on her for you.” Kallie was tapping her toe in front of me and had her arms crossed over her chest. I rolled my eyes at her obvious impatience and told Poppy, “I’m not scared of your father, honey. I’ll take him on for you.”
Her relief was practically palpable as she thanked me and told me she would send the info over. She wished me luck with my upcoming powwow and told me she would be around if I needed to talk, or anything else when it was all said and done. Just like that, the balance between the two of us evened out some of the unsteadiness I was feeling about having to face the Carmichaels. I would do what I could for her and she would be there for me. I’d always wanted something solid, something sure and steady … who knew my stability would come in the form of a girl that seemed so fragile and breakable? She didn’t seem like she should be able to withstand the weight of anything pressing down on her, but somehow she managed to hold not only herself up but me as well when I needed her to.
“You call her honey?” Kallie slid to the side as I stepped through the doorway. Her eyes had a hint of hurt in them that I chose to ignore.
“I do. Everything about her looks like honey—her hair, her eyes, her skin—plus she’s sweet.”
Kallie flinched. “You never gave me a cute little nickname.”
I understood how hard it was to watch someone you had given so much of your life to move on. That being said, I had no time or place in the new way Kallie and I were together for any kind of misplaced jealousy. “No, but I gave you nearly a decade of my life and I bought you a house, in case you forgot. Not to mention the fact we made a baby together.” I looked meaningfully at her slightly rounded waistline.
She huffed out a breath and led me toward the living room. It felt a lot like the walks I used to take when the social worker would show up at whatever temporary home I’d been placed in only to tell me it was time to move again. I was dreading every second of this family get-together, but even after she tore my dreams apart, I couldn’t abandon Kallie, and not just because she was the mother of my child. We’d grown up together. We’d had a life together. We’d been each other’s safety net for a long time and there was no way I could let her jump off this cliff alone.
“I want to meet her.” Kallie’s tone dropped so that only I could hear her as we got closer to the living room, where her parents were undoubtedly waiting to pounce. I felt a little like a lamb being led to slaughter, which wasn’t fair since this was all Kallie’s show and I was just here for moral support. “If she’s going to be in your life then she’s going to be in our baby’s life. I want the chance to get to know her.”
I bit back a groan and gave Kallie a narrow-eyed look. “She’s been through a lot in her life, Kallie. She isn’t just some girl off the street or some chick I picked up in a bar. She’s a woman that’s been through the kind of hell neither of us can imagine and I’m not going to let you put her through the wringer just because you’re suddenly jealous I’m moving on. She doesn’t deserve that.” I wasn’t going to let Kallie punish Poppy for wanting me in all the ways she didn’t.
She shook her blond head and reached out to put a hand on my forearm. “It’s not like that, Wheeler. I mean I am a little jealous … it was you and me for so long that I’m not really sure how to deal with you and her, but I know that’s my problem. I’ll work through it. I want to thank her.”
I blinked at her in surprise and suspicion. “Thank her for what?”
“I know how hard it was for you to get on board with this baby and I know you were nowhere near forgiving me for the things I did and the way I treated you. This girl showed up and all of a sudden you’re back to being the thoughtful, reasonable man I loved for most of my life. I pushed you into being a person I didn’t recognize; she brought you back. I mean maybe you would have found your way without her, but since I’m impatient and scared shitless about becoming a mom, I’m super grateful that she sped the process up. Plus, I could see how scared of me she was that night I showed up at Dixie’s apartment. I want her to know I’m not normally a shrieking she-beast.”
