Salvation

Page 19

Though he’d yearned to go to her, to hold her, to pull her away, he’d remained unmoving. He sensed instinctively that she was simply seeking a way to heal, a way to say goodbye on her own, and that he didn’t belong here. He’d retreated from the doorway, leaving her within as he settled onto the cold marble floor outside the room and waited for her to come back to him. She didn’t reemerge until the first rays of daylight broke over the horizon.
He’d carried her back to bed, where she’d fallen into a fitful sleep for a few hours; it was far more than the mere minutes at a time that had been claiming her for the past three nights.
Now, on the fourth day, they were burying David. A man, that even he mourned the death of, and not just because of Aria. David been a good man, he’d created an amazing woman; he’d loved his children, and had accomplished so much in his short, mortal lifetime. They’d butted heads over Aria, but it had been because of their mutual love for her, and in the end David had revealed everything he knew. Though none of what David had told them offered any certainty to the questions that Xavier had presented.
Braith kept his arm around her waist, he wasn’t holding her up but he felt it was only a matter of time before he might actually have to. Her brother’s stood beside her, as stalwart as she’d been over the past few days. They’d gone almost woodenly about their days as they helped to oversee the repairs to the worst of the destruction that had been wrought, and the reformation of the new government.
Aria’s skin was unnaturally pale against the black enshrouding her. He kept the umbrella over her head, sheltering her from the steady rain as she pressed closer to his side. Her hair fell forward to shelter her delicate features as she kept her head bowed. Depression had already taken its toll on her. Her collarbone, the bones in her chest, and the back of her hands stood out more. She hadn’t eaten much over the past few days, but Xavier and Max made sure that she was given breakfast and lunch, and he made sure that she at least put some food in her stomach at dinner time. He was concerned about her, but beneath the choking sorrow he knew that she was there, still strong vibrant and very much determined to live.
At least he hoped she was.
The funeral was not like the other human funeral’s he’d witnessed over the years, or even like the more elaborate vampire funerals he’d attended. There was no preacher; instead the people that felt like speaking each took a turn. He’d lost count of the humans that had stepped forward to speak of David, then Jack, and finally Daniel had assumed the spot at the head of the gravesite. Though they wouldn’t actually be buried next to one another, Aria had asked for her mother’s name to be added to the tombstone, and Braith had been more than willing to comply.
Though there were a few times that Daniel’s voice broke, he didn’t cry, and he appeared every bit as strong as the leader he’d just become as he spoke of his father. Beside Aria, William’s fingers twitched, the two of them briefly clasped hands before breaking contact. A single tear slid down her face as Daniel said a final goodbye and stepped away.
Aria’s delicate fingers twirled around the single red rose she held. She stepped forward, momentarily exposed to the rain as she tossed the flower onto the coffin. She was shaking as she stepped back beside him. He ached for her, so much so that he felt her suffering almost as acutely as if it were his own.
He turned her away and walked with her amongst the crush of humans and vampires as they moved away from the woods and back toward the palace. He’d offered to bury their father in the royal cemetery but they’d refused, stating that he would be happier in the woods, and Braith knew they were right.
Once inside the palace he led her toward the stairs. Gideon’s brown hair was still damp from the rain as hurried to catch up with them. “Later Gideon,” Braith informed him briskly.
Gideon looked as if he was going to argue, but he closed his mouth as he met Aria’s haunted gaze. “As soon as you are able it is essential we speak.”
“I’ll be down again in a few hours.”
Gideon nodded and bowed his head as he stepped away. Braith felt the eyes on his back as he led her up the stairs and to the new rooms that he’d claimed for them until his old suite could be restored. He didn’t even know yet if Aria would be willing to stay in the palace, but he wasn’t going to push her on the subject of their future now. They’d speak of it when she was ready.
Once inside the room, he slipped the damp black cloak from her shoulders and tossed it aside. Her arms were chilled and the small blue veins that ran through her pale skin were clearly visible. The marks that his brother and father had inflicted upon her were dark and vivid. His jaw clenched, he wished those marks would fade far quicker than they were. She stood, unmoving before him as his hands briefly traced over her bare shoulders.
“You have to start eating more Aria.”
Her eyes were dark and remote as she studied him. “I will,” she promised flatly.
He knew that though she said the words she would do no more than pick at the food he’d ordered brought up for her. “A bath will help you warm up.”
“Yes.”
She stiffly moved with him to the bathroom. He unzipped the back of her simple black dress and slid it away from her as warm water filled the tub. Though she was bared to him, he felt nothing sexual as he helped to ease her into the water. All he aspired to do was comfort her, to protect her, to ease this for her somehow, and he still didn’t know the extent of the torture his father and brother had exerted over her. Her body was still covered with faded bruises and bite marks that marred her fair skin.
He unhurriedly dipped a cloth into the water and ran it over her shoulders and down her back. She didn’t shy away from his touch, she wasn’t embarrassed by it like she had been when she’d first come to the palace. She drew her knees up against her chest, not to hide her nudity, but in a gesture of comfort as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She rested her cheek on her knee as she watched him. Unshed tears shimmered in her eyes as he rubbed the cloth over her lower back in small, soothing circles.
“Aria…”
“It’s ok, I’ll be ok. I just hurt.”
“I know you do.”
“Please don’t worry about me. I’ll get through this. I just need time. But time seems so long now, so… empty? Maybe not empty, but wrong somehow, and I don’t know how to explain it. There’s this hole inside me and all I want is for it to be filled again, but that’s impossible, and I have to learn to live with it because there are no other options. I have to figure out a way to patch the hole enough so that I can breathe again, without feeling as if the air is suffocating me.”
His hand stilled on her back, it was the most she’d said to him in the past four days. “Tell me what to do to make it better.”
She frowned, her hand slipped from her legs to entwine with his. “There is nothing you can do other than being here,” she murmured. “Time will help I suppose. I’ve heard it heals all wounds, but I don’t think this one will ever completely heal. How could it?” Tears slipped down her face, he wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. “You being here make’s it better, you being with me makes it better. Together. We won Braith and that is more than I’d dared to let myself hope for.”
“We did.” And she’d been so immersed in her melancholy that she didn’t know she’d become a hero of sorts. Daniel had stepped forward to claim his father’s place, and William and Max had become his seconds in command, but Aria was the one everyone talked about, the one they whispered about in awe. The human that had helped take down the king, the ex-blood slave that the new king cherished. Even the vampires admired her, even more so than they had before.
Her eyes closed as he washed her back, kneading her skin as he sought to ease the knots in her muscles. “I knew there was a good chance we would lose someone, I prepared myself for it. I know that we’re lucky even more weren’t lost, and lucky to be alive and free.”
“But you still miss him.”
“Yes.” Her misery was palpable in that one word. “I never got to say goodbye.” More tears slid down her cheeks, he didn’t brush these ones away; they were hers to shed. “I never had the chance to tell him I loved him again.”
“He knew.”
Her eyes appeared even brighter with the tears shimmering in them and the shadows outlining them. “I know that, but before we separated in the past we always said our goodbyes and exchanged our love. Caleb robbed me of that.”
His hand stilled on her back, every muscle in his body froze. If his brother hadn’t already been dead, in that moment he gladly would have killed him a thousand times over. He waited, unable to tear his eyes from hers as she finally spoke of his family. “I’m mad at myself for going into that town, but I’d do it again. That’s the person my father raised, it’s who I am.”
“It is,” he agreed, still unable to bring himself to ask the questions lodged in his throat. He was desperate to know but terrified of the answers she would give him.
“I’m sorry for your losses also,” she whispered.
“I suffered no losses.”
“I know you weren’t close with your father and brother, or Natasha, but they were still your family.”
“You are my family. Jack and Melinda are my family, even Ashby has started to grow on me again, and somehow I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ve begun to like your brothers.” A small smile flickered across her lips, her eyes lit with amusement as she actually chuckled. The sound of that small laugh warmed him and eased some of his fears.
“That surprises me, with William especially.”
“He is the more annoying of the two,” Braith agreed.
Her smile widened as her fingers danced over his. “My father always said one of us would have been bad enough, but two of us were a sign that he was being punished for something in an ancestor’s past.”
Now would be the time to tell her, but he found he couldn’t. Not when she was smiling again, not when there was actually happiness shimmering in her eyes instead of despair. Later, there would be time later; they finally had time for each other, with each other.
“I’ll take the punishment,” he assured her.
“I hope so.”
“Hell, I’ll even take Max.”
“I’ve noticed the two of you have been getting along better. I’m glad,” she murmured.
“I’m glad you’re glad.”
A sigh escaped her and the smile slipped away. “Would you tell me if you were bothered by the loss of your family?”
“They were my blood, but I’m not sorry they’re dead. They were brutal creatures that never would have changed. If Caleb hadn’t taken my father down when he did, things may have been far different Aria. We may very well be dead. He was a powerful man, and would have been far fiercer competition than Caleb. Thousands upon thousands of lives will be better because of their deaths. Including ours.”
He lifted her arm gently, hoping to distract her from her thoughts as he rubbed the cloth over her ribcage. He didn’t want her feeling any guilt over their deaths when he felt none. He was surprised to find her contemplating him when he placed the arm back down and took hold of her other one. “You must be hungry.”
He shook his head. There was enough for her to deal with right now without having to worry about his needs too. “Gideon brought me some blood yesterday, I’m fine.”
“It’s not as good.”
He smiled wryly at her. “Nothing is as good as you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the inside of her wrist, the one that was not as bruised and raw looking. He froze, his muscles bunched as he spotted her black-and-blue middle finger. Though the bone was healed, he knew exactly what had been done to it. It took everything he had not to bellow in rage, but that was the last thing she needed right now. “But it’s enough,” he managed to choke out.
Her fingers stroked over his cheek before slipping under his chin to lift his head slightly. “I miss the bond it establishes between us.”
“As do I, but not until you’re better Aria.”
She turned her hand over in his and clasped his fingers. “What they did to me Braith, you can see it all.”
His hand clenched around the cloth, his shoulders stiffened as he froze. He’d tried not to think about the fact that they may have taken more than just her blood from her, tried not to think about the degradation she would have experienced. It made him wish they were both alive so he could draw out their deaths in ways that even his father hadn’t imagined possible. He’d love her no matter what; take her anyway that he could get her. No matter how much time it took he’d be there to help her heal.