Sandman Slim

Page 15

When I piled it all on the bed, a small white box that had been stuffed in with the T-shirts fell out. When I opened it, I recognized the box instantly. It was that stupid magic-shop box with the hole in the bottom and the fake bloody cotton inside. The one she'd used to show me that she could do magic, too. I put the magic box in my pocket and the rest of her stuff back in the big box and carry it out into the living room.
Allegra and Vidocq are still taking inventory, but pause long enough to grin at me.
"Eugene says that I can be his apprentice and learn to be an alchemist."
"Congratulations. Just don't forget that we had a deal. I'm letting you into the other world, the Sub Rosa, but you still have to help me with a few things, too. And you can't abandon Max Overdrive. It may not be much, but it brings in money and, unless things changed while I was gone, that's what makes the world go round."
"I'll remember. We'll go out tomorrow and get you a phone."
"And the Internet. We need to get that, too."
"First thing, never say 'Get the Internet.' You sound like the Beverly Hillbillies. You 'use' the Internet or you 'access' it. You never 'get' it."
"See? That's why I hired you."
She turns to Vidocq. "Don't listen to him. He didn't hire me. I blackmailed his ass."
"Is this true?" he asks.
"Ignore her. She's schizophrenic and a pathological liar. I only let her work at the shop to keep her from swindling widows and orphans."
"You just can't handle the truth, can you?"
"And what's that?" I ask her.
"That I totally made you my bitch."
"See? Not a word of truth can pass her lips." I take the box with Alice's things and go to the door. "I don't know how long it'll take me to pay you for the Spiritus Dei."
"I was going to bring that up. I know someone who can help with both the Spiritus Dei and provide some work. Work that's more in line with your talents than your video store. The fellow's name is Muninn. Mr. Muninn."
"Why do I want extra work? I have a job. Killing Mason."
"And how is that money you stole from the man near the cemetery holding up? How much did that jacket and those boots cost you?" Vidocq crosses to the window and pulls back the curtain. Clouds have softened the sunlight, but it's still all billboards, brown hills, and asphalt below. A couple of burly kids in baggy denim jackets are doing a brisk trade in what the buyers will be hoping is crack, but in this part of town is probably baking soda and plaster. Across the street, a couple of leathery-skinned old men are selling oranges and watermelons off the back of a pickup truck. They're probably illegals and new in town. They don't know which neighborhoods are profitable and which are dead zones. Or maybe the orange and watermelon Mafia muscled them out of their territory and this was the best they could do.
"You see it, right? Even here, where there is very little, this is a world that runs on money. There's no arena here for you to fight in. No rich fallen angels to pay your bills."
"Fallen angels?" Allegra asks.
"It's just an expression," I tell her. Turning back to Vidocq, I say, "In case you hadn't noticed, I live in a store. Allegra runs the store. Stores bring in money."
Allegra says, "Not really."
"What do you mean?"
"The store's never really turned a profit. There's a Blockbuster and some other big chains just a couple blocks away. The porn keeps the doors open, but most of the real money came from Mr. Kasabian's bootleg business, and now that's gone."
"Stop calling Kasabian 'mister' all the time. He doesn't deserve it." Out the window, the crack dealers are buying oranges from the old men in the truck. The cultural divide between homegrown American entrepreneurism and immigrant ambition is being bridged right before our eyes. It's an inspiring moment. Maybe the old men will let me sell oranges with them off the back of their truck when Max Overdrive closes and I'm homeless again.
"What's this guy's name again?" I ask Vidocq.
"Mr. Muninn."
I nod like the name means something to me. "Okay. Let's meet him."
"I want to show my new apprentice a few more things, so we'll do it tonight."
"Sounds good." I start to leave, but Allegra calls me.
"How am I supposed to get back if you take the car?"
"You take it. I jimmied the ignition, so you can start it with a flathead screwdriver. Vidocq will give you one. Ditch the car at least ten blocks from the shop."
The sound of shots comes through the window and we all turn. The two crack kids are on the ground in widening pools of blood, and a powder-blue Chevy lowrider is speeding away. Oh well. It's like the real estate people say, "Location, location, location."
"How will you get back?" asks Allegra.
"I know a shortcut." I go out into the hall, step through a shadow next to the door opposite and come out in the alley behind Max Overdrive. I go in through the back and straight upstairs. The morning crew has cleaned the place up pretty well and taped the front-door glass back together reasonably well. Some customers look at me, but I don't look back.
In my room-this is my room now; that other place is Vidocq's-I put the box with Alice's things on a shelf in the closet where I'd kept Kasabian's head. I wish he was still here. I'd put one of Alice's T-shirts over his head at night, the way old ladies drape parakeet cages. Sleep tight, motherfucker, with my murdered girl's shirt for a nightcap.
I wonder where Parker has taken Kasabian and what he's done with him. Only one thing makes sense. Parker has killed him. After I set off the trap back at Mason's place, he and Parker realized I was back. They checked on the rest of the Circle and found Kasabian was gone. Knowing what a rancid little worm he was, Mason would figure that he'd start blathering secrets sooner or later. It would be simpler and easier just to kill him. Sweet dreams, Kas. I might not have killed you, you know. You were just too damned pathetic. Leaving you to your little store and the dreams of the power the others swindled you out of might have been punishment enough. I could have been happy to see you live another fifty years trying to make lemonade out of your misery.
I take the little magic box from Alice's things and set it on the table beside the bed. I don't dwell on it sitting on that crap table in this nowhere room. Let it go. Don't think. It's what you're best at.
I'd picked up the habit of playing movies on the monitor Kasabian used to make his bootlegs. Mostly I watched old Shaw Brothers chop socky stuff. Five Deadly Venoms. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. Dirty Ho. Or spaghetti westerns. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. The Great Silence. Four for the Apocalypse. The sound of fighting, even movie fighting, is weirdly comforting when I'm falling asleep. Something else is playing now, and I don't remember having left the set on. It's Fitzcarraldo, a German movie about a crazy Irishman who tries to drag a riverboat over a mountain in the Amazon. It almost kills him. Is this a message? Did Parker leave this playing for me? After he broke in, why didn't he wait to ambush me?
I take the Veritas off its chain and do something I wanted to do last night. I flip the coin and ask, "Is Doc Kinski for real?" When it I catch it, the Veritas is showing a symbol it's never displayed before. A calopus. Imagine a flying wolverine covered in porcupine quills dripping with enough poison to give God himself a sore ass. That's a calopus. Written in Hellion script around the edge of the coin's face is, If assholes had assholes, Kinski is the shit that would come out of that asshole. I've never see the Veritas say that about anyone before, Hellion, angel, human, or beast.
Like every sentient creature in the underworld, the Veritas has strong opinions. Using the Veritas well means being able to separate facts from its horror-show editorials. This is good news. There's only one reason it would hate anyone like that.
Kinski is one of the good guys. Okay. Time to take the doc's advice.
I leave Fitzcarraldo running with the sound off and dig around on the worktable until I find a creased AAA map of L.A. After I unfold it on the floor, take out the piece of lead the doc gave me, and start drawing a magic circle around it, I can't remember any specific locator spells, but the idea is pretty simple and I know I can fake my way through one.
The circle is complex. Hellion magic is always complex-either that or so simple, Fungus could do it. There's not much in the middle when Hellions are in charge.
When it feels like the circle is done, when the map is completely enclosed and I've loaded in every luck, hunting, and eavesdropping charm I can think of, I reach up for more junk off the table. A piece of string and some foil from a burrito wrapper. I wad up the foil and tie it to the bottom of the string, making a pendulum. Then I take my knife and slice across the palm of my left hand. Squeezing hard before the wound closes, I sprinkle blood around and inside the magic circle.
Hell doesn't run on prayers or promises. Downtown magic is about reaching out and grabbing what you want, and that requires payment. An offering. Blood. Black magic on Earth isn't so different and it's why so many dark magicians dress like cashiers at Hot Topic. Black is a good color anytime you're flinging around blood.
I start chanting, a free-form mix of Hellion and English, ordering whatever Lurkers, spirits, magical pinheads and old, forgotten gods who happen to be nearby to turn down The Price Is Right and listen up. Show me where Mason is. I paid you my blood, now give me what I want. I command you. Give me what you owe me. I have the key to all the doors in the universe. You don't want to even dream of cheating me.
The foil ball on the end of the string begins to move, making little circles where I hold it over the map. The movement becomes steady and strong, pulling my hand and my whole arm in circles, too. Then it stops. The foil slams onto the map like it's magnetized. I pull the pendulum away and look at where it landed. Just a little north of Hollywood Boulevard and Las Palmas, right on top of Max Overdrive.
Cute. I should have seen that one coming. Mason stuck a reversal gag on anyone stupid enough to look for him with magic.
On the floor, the map wads itself up and bursts into flame. A lick of fire reaches up like a burning claw and snatches the pendulum from my hand. Both the map and pendulum disintegrate into ashes and drift away on a breeze blowing in from some other part of Creation.
That was an Amateur Hour move. Now I know why Parker didn't go for me the night he took Kasabian. Why should he bother? I've proven that I'm dumb enough to walk into a bear trap marked with a big flashing neon sign that says warning: bear trap. I'm a killer who hasn't managed to kill anything. And it must be clear to everyone paying attention that I'm not Sam Spade. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm running on instinct and hunches.
Killing is a funny thing. Even if it's killing a Hellion general, one so psychotic that even other Hellions want him dead, the first time you commit murder, you're going to get sicker than you've ever been in your life and it's going to last for days. The second time you commit murder, you're going to get just as sick, but you're going to be over it the next day. The third time you commit murder, you change into that extra shirt you brought along, the one that's not covered in blood, and you go out for a drink. After that, killing doesn't feel like much of anything at all. Of course, I haven't killed a human yet. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about it when the time comes.
Maybe it's not such a bad thing that Alice isn't here to see what I've become.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and pick up the magic box, roll it around in my hands, then set it back on the table. On the TV, some poor Indian has just died hauling Fitzcarraldo's boat over the mountain. The Indian's friends are gathered around his body, but Fitz is screaming for them to keep pulling his boat. He's the hero of the story and he's completely nuts. This isn't going to have a happy ending.
I lie down for a while, trying to get the kinks out of my back, but I'm too restless, so I walk over to the Bamboo House of Dolls. Carlos says hi, but I just sort of grunt at him. Being a good bartender, Carlos sees all and knows all. He brings me a double of Jack, along with some rice and beans with warm tortillas. Then he leaves me alone. The music isn't Martin Denny tonight. It's someone named Esquivel. It sounds like what James Bond's dentist must play in his waiting room. I try to relax, enjoy the food, and let the ludicrous sound wash around me. After two or three more drinks, Esquivel is really starting to grow on me.
When Carlos comes over to take away the empties, I ask, "What about me on a yacht in a white tux? Could I be James Bond's stunt double?"
Carlos takes the glasses away before he says, "Only if Bond fell into a wood chipper first."
He asks if I want another drink. I tell him I need a cigarette more and go outside and light up. It's around eight. Maybe nine. Ten's a possibility. Anyway, it's dark out. Time to get back to Vidocq's. I head for an alley across the street where I can slip unseen into a shadow. Halfway there, I spot a Ducati parked down the street. The twentysomething hipster TV producers love these sleek Euroracers, but like the Melrose Harley boys, it's mostly for show. The Ducati's tires are clean enough to eat off of. Doesn't anyone in this town actually ride their bike?
It'll be nice to feel some wind on my face. I take out the knife, jam it in the ignition, and I'm gone.
RULE ONE WHEN you get back from Hell and haven't ridden a high-performance in eleven years is not to get on the bike after three or five Jack Daniel's. Rule two is not to try a stoppie-grabbing just the front brake so that your rear end pops up. When you're drunker than you think you are, which is pretty much always, you're going to lean too far forward and pull the rear end of the bike up and over onto your dumb ass. Lucky for me, even six or seven sheets to the wind, I still have impressively inhuman reflexes, which means I can jump off the bike before it comes over and snaps my neck. The downside to jackrabbit reflexes is that while they get you out of the way of obvious and imminent danger, when you're going forty miles an hour on your front wheel, those reflexes will simply launch you into the air like a squirrel on a land mine.