Savor the Danger
Page 40
“Delicious.”
That she wasn’t a picky, rabbit-food-only kind of gal was a huge bonus for him. “It’s the cracked pepper.” He wolfed down his own big bite of juicy steak.
“Could be the company, too.” Her lashes lifted, and she gave him the warm look of a woman romantically involved.
It should have set off alarm bells, but instead, Jackson basked in her acceptance. “So I pass muster?”
She paused with a big bite of salad halfway to her mouth. “I’d say you excel.”
“At more than grilling?”
She lowered the fork. “Yes.” She sighed. “Last night…you were amazing.”
He’d be amazing again, soon as she was ready.
“Before the kidnapping, I never dated much. With Trace on guard duty and most guys naturally wary of him, it always seemed like too much trouble.”
He wanted to know everything about her, the good, the bad and the shit that never should have happened. “After the kidnapping?”
“I was afraid.” She said it in an offhand tone, complete with a shrug.
“Afraid of men?” Jackson waited, and after a few more bites, she looked at him again.
“Afraid of everything, really. Guys asked me out, and I kept wondering if all they wanted was a date, or if they were luring me away again.”
Luring her away… He’d dealt with enough victims to get a full visual, and God, the knowledge of what she’d gone through ate at him. “That’s what happened on the beach?”
Introspective, she picked at her potato with fork and knife. “I thought I was being so daring.” Her laugh sounded self-deprecating. “I was twenty-two, and finally on my first real vacation, on my own for a change. I had friends there with me, but they were already involved and their boyfriends were there and I felt weird, being the only single woman.”
At that age, especially with her sheltered life, she’d been a girl rather than a woman. But so much had changed since then. “Guys flirted with you.”
“Some.”
“You in a bikini?” He took another bite to encourage her to do the same. “Come on, Alani. I bet they all flirted.”
Modesty kept her grin at bay. “It was so fun, having that attention, teasing back.” She peeked at him. “Even sneaking a few kisses here and there.”
Unwarranted jealousy burned through his veins, but he kept his tone mild, wanting her to confide in him. “And more?”
“No. Not…not then.” Disgusted, she set down her utensils and dropped her face into her hands.
The first sound she made set off alarm bells. Crying?
Usually, a weepy woman brought out all his macho instincts. He considered tears to be the womanliest a woman could be, and that made him feel indulgent, like a big protector. While coddling a woman, he often got…turned on.
But with Alani, his stomach bottomed out, and his chest constricted. He reached for her hand. “Babe, what is it?”
She made the sound again, a dry laugh that pained him as much as tears would have. That she could so easily jerk around his feelings bugged him big-time.
“Think about it, Jackson.” She lowered her hands. “When Trace is around, he sees everything.”
“And he was always around.”
“I barely got asked out, rarely got kissed. I didn’t have much success at anything else.”
“So…” She’d been a virgin before being kidnapped?
“Bet I was even more naive than you imagined, huh?”
An invisible vise clenched around his heart. “The ass-holes who took you…?”
“No.” She shook her head. “They didn’t rape me. Not…like you mean.”
Fury stole his voice. He watched her.
“They…well, they were saving me.” She tightened her lips; her breath trembled. “I was too afraid to understand much of what they said, but they got their point across all the same.”
He couldn’t move. Hell, he could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “Here I am, spoiling our dinner.”
Needing to touch her, Jackson reached for her hands. “How long did they have you, honey?”
As if the damn broke, she started talking fast. “Time runs together and drags out when you’re terrorized. I couldn’t tell day from night. It felt like weeks, but I know it wasn’t. I didn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to eat, but they insisted. I was so dirty, I could smell myself.” She squeezed his fingers, holding on tight. “We were all dirty. The room was so hot and there wasn’t any fresh air, and they didn’t really give us the means to clean up.”
He knew from talking with other victims how the loss of dignity hurt as much as the physical abuse.
“They do that on purpose. To break you down.” Jackson wasn’t sure she heard him. “But you didn’t let them.”
“I felt so sick from whatever they’d given me. When they’d get near me again, I’d do this awful dry heaving, and they laughed about it. I was so ashamed. Especially with how they treated Molly.”
Molly, now Dare’s wife, had been in an altogether different situation. They hadn’t planned to sell her. “Did she talk to you?”
Alani nodded. “One of the men kept pinching me. Not hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to get me hysterical again.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Molly would yell at them, call them names.” Her eyes sank shut, and she whispered, “They weren’t as concerned about bruising her.”
That she wasn’t a picky, rabbit-food-only kind of gal was a huge bonus for him. “It’s the cracked pepper.” He wolfed down his own big bite of juicy steak.
“Could be the company, too.” Her lashes lifted, and she gave him the warm look of a woman romantically involved.
It should have set off alarm bells, but instead, Jackson basked in her acceptance. “So I pass muster?”
She paused with a big bite of salad halfway to her mouth. “I’d say you excel.”
“At more than grilling?”
She lowered the fork. “Yes.” She sighed. “Last night…you were amazing.”
He’d be amazing again, soon as she was ready.
“Before the kidnapping, I never dated much. With Trace on guard duty and most guys naturally wary of him, it always seemed like too much trouble.”
He wanted to know everything about her, the good, the bad and the shit that never should have happened. “After the kidnapping?”
“I was afraid.” She said it in an offhand tone, complete with a shrug.
“Afraid of men?” Jackson waited, and after a few more bites, she looked at him again.
“Afraid of everything, really. Guys asked me out, and I kept wondering if all they wanted was a date, or if they were luring me away again.”
Luring her away… He’d dealt with enough victims to get a full visual, and God, the knowledge of what she’d gone through ate at him. “That’s what happened on the beach?”
Introspective, she picked at her potato with fork and knife. “I thought I was being so daring.” Her laugh sounded self-deprecating. “I was twenty-two, and finally on my first real vacation, on my own for a change. I had friends there with me, but they were already involved and their boyfriends were there and I felt weird, being the only single woman.”
At that age, especially with her sheltered life, she’d been a girl rather than a woman. But so much had changed since then. “Guys flirted with you.”
“Some.”
“You in a bikini?” He took another bite to encourage her to do the same. “Come on, Alani. I bet they all flirted.”
Modesty kept her grin at bay. “It was so fun, having that attention, teasing back.” She peeked at him. “Even sneaking a few kisses here and there.”
Unwarranted jealousy burned through his veins, but he kept his tone mild, wanting her to confide in him. “And more?”
“No. Not…not then.” Disgusted, she set down her utensils and dropped her face into her hands.
The first sound she made set off alarm bells. Crying?
Usually, a weepy woman brought out all his macho instincts. He considered tears to be the womanliest a woman could be, and that made him feel indulgent, like a big protector. While coddling a woman, he often got…turned on.
But with Alani, his stomach bottomed out, and his chest constricted. He reached for her hand. “Babe, what is it?”
She made the sound again, a dry laugh that pained him as much as tears would have. That she could so easily jerk around his feelings bugged him big-time.
“Think about it, Jackson.” She lowered her hands. “When Trace is around, he sees everything.”
“And he was always around.”
“I barely got asked out, rarely got kissed. I didn’t have much success at anything else.”
“So…” She’d been a virgin before being kidnapped?
“Bet I was even more naive than you imagined, huh?”
An invisible vise clenched around his heart. “The ass-holes who took you…?”
“No.” She shook her head. “They didn’t rape me. Not…like you mean.”
Fury stole his voice. He watched her.
“They…well, they were saving me.” She tightened her lips; her breath trembled. “I was too afraid to understand much of what they said, but they got their point across all the same.”
He couldn’t move. Hell, he could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry.” She rolled her eyes. “Here I am, spoiling our dinner.”
Needing to touch her, Jackson reached for her hands. “How long did they have you, honey?”
As if the damn broke, she started talking fast. “Time runs together and drags out when you’re terrorized. I couldn’t tell day from night. It felt like weeks, but I know it wasn’t. I didn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to eat, but they insisted. I was so dirty, I could smell myself.” She squeezed his fingers, holding on tight. “We were all dirty. The room was so hot and there wasn’t any fresh air, and they didn’t really give us the means to clean up.”
He knew from talking with other victims how the loss of dignity hurt as much as the physical abuse.
“They do that on purpose. To break you down.” Jackson wasn’t sure she heard him. “But you didn’t let them.”
“I felt so sick from whatever they’d given me. When they’d get near me again, I’d do this awful dry heaving, and they laughed about it. I was so ashamed. Especially with how they treated Molly.”
Molly, now Dare’s wife, had been in an altogether different situation. They hadn’t planned to sell her. “Did she talk to you?”
Alani nodded. “One of the men kept pinching me. Not hard enough to leave a mark, just enough to get me hysterical again.” She chewed her bottom lip. “Molly would yell at them, call them names.” Her eyes sank shut, and she whispered, “They weren’t as concerned about bruising her.”
