Savor the Danger
Page 63
Her tone soft, her voice low, she whispered, “But I hate wasting our time together. It’s so nice seeing you like this, at ease, being yourself, letting me see you for who you really are. I’d rather be awake.” She licked her bottom lip. “I’d rather be soaking up more experiences.”
“Tease.” It amazed him how she could take his dark and dangerous mood and fracture it with tenderness and humor. “Now that we have an agreement, I’ll try harder to balance things, okay? Sleep with sex.”
She smiled. “And food, and sightseeing and more talking?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” With one arm under and around her, Jackson held her hip, keeping her close. The other hand he cupped over her shoulder. In stark contrast to him, she was small-boned, her features so fine and feminine. “Food, then sex. Sightseeing, then sex.”
She laughed. “Talking and sex?”
It wasn’t a combination he usually enjoyed, but what the hell? “As long as you’re not running away from me, I reckon we can fit all that in.”
“I can’t really go anywhere, now can I?”
He mulled over that sentiment, resenting it, wanting her to want to stay. “You shouldn’t feel like a prisoner.”
Curled into his side, she murmured, “Believe me, I know the difference.”
Shit. “I’m a dumbass. I didn’t mean—”
“I know.” She fell silent for a moment, then said, “We talked about that the first time, you know.”
“The first time we had sex?” The time he couldn’t recall. When she nodded, he asked, “About what?”
“How long this would last.”
His heart stuttered. What the hell had he told her? It was damned awkward not knowing.
She levered up on one elbow to look at him.
For only a flash of a second, he thought he saw culpability in her big innocent eyes, and he wondered at it. “Alani?”
“We agreed that as long as it stays fun and exciting, and we’re both enjoying ourselves, sexually I mean, we would keep…experimenting.”
What the hell? Had he really spelled it out so bluntly? Sure, he sometimes did that with other women because he didn’t want them to get ideas. He wanted them to know up front not to have expectations. But that was other women.
Had he been that insensitive with Alani, too?
He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, so instead he said, “Why wouldn’t it be fun?”
“I don’t know.” She didn’t quite meet his gaze. “You promised me great sex, and you’ve more than delivered. But neither of us wanted to get locked down.”
“We didn’t, huh?” That didn’t sound like her. He knew better than most that Alani had never slept around. She was an all-or-nothing kind of woman—or so he’d always assumed. But her sheltered life might have kept her from sowing any wild oats.
Was he her damned oats?
Great sex, that’s what she wanted—what she expected? How much pressure was that? Sure, he had every intention of delivering, but all guys had an off time now and then. If he didn’t leave her limp and smiling, did that mean she’d go off to a different guy with newfound sensuality and confidence?
Over his dead body. Before he let that happen, he’d—
“Jackson?” Gentle fingertips touched his brow. “You’re frowning.”
Because she turned him upside down. He was just disgruntled enough to mutter darkly, “You’re already expecting me to fall short!”
Her eyes widened…and then her mouth twitched. “Not really.”
“But if I do, you’ll use that as an excuse to book, won’t you?”
“We already agreed that I couldn’t book, remember?”
That provocation brought a feral growl from deep in his throat.
His attitude left her playfully puzzled. “Do you expect to be a bad lover?”
“No!”
Then…
“You shouldn’t use that as an excuse to cut things short.”
Searching his austere gaze, she bit her bottom lip and ventured cautiously, “Just how long do you expect this to last?”
“Uh…” Damn it. He’d talked himself into a corner. He wasn’t the insecure sort, but he didn’t really want to fumble through a confession of his indecisive feelings without knowing exactly how she felt first.
And a plan came to mind. She’d just made it clear that she expected mind-blowing sex. Fine. He’d blow her mind. Big-time. He’d yet to meet a woman who didn’t eventually spout her feelings during release. Vows of affection went hand in hand with orgasms.
Give ’em an O, and they got lovey-dovey in return.
Most of the time he was indulgent about professions of love, sympathetic to the attitude if not the actual significance.
“Do we have to decide right this second?” Once he had her blindly moaning out her darkest secrets, then he’d figure out what he wanted, and how much.
As her shoulders slumped a little, Alani let out a breath. “No, of course not. I wasn’t pressuring you.” And then, defensively, “You’re the one who brought it up.”
Jackson knew he’d both confused and embarrassed her. He cuddled her closer. “Why don’t we talk about all this later?” Much, much later. He kissed her forehead. “For now, let’s get some sleep.”
Her drowsy eyes studied him, but in the end she shrugged and settled back down again. She got comfortable with her thigh over his, her hand resting over his heart. “One thing, Jackson.”
“Tease.” It amazed him how she could take his dark and dangerous mood and fracture it with tenderness and humor. “Now that we have an agreement, I’ll try harder to balance things, okay? Sleep with sex.”
She smiled. “And food, and sightseeing and more talking?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” With one arm under and around her, Jackson held her hip, keeping her close. The other hand he cupped over her shoulder. In stark contrast to him, she was small-boned, her features so fine and feminine. “Food, then sex. Sightseeing, then sex.”
She laughed. “Talking and sex?”
It wasn’t a combination he usually enjoyed, but what the hell? “As long as you’re not running away from me, I reckon we can fit all that in.”
“I can’t really go anywhere, now can I?”
He mulled over that sentiment, resenting it, wanting her to want to stay. “You shouldn’t feel like a prisoner.”
Curled into his side, she murmured, “Believe me, I know the difference.”
Shit. “I’m a dumbass. I didn’t mean—”
“I know.” She fell silent for a moment, then said, “We talked about that the first time, you know.”
“The first time we had sex?” The time he couldn’t recall. When she nodded, he asked, “About what?”
“How long this would last.”
His heart stuttered. What the hell had he told her? It was damned awkward not knowing.
She levered up on one elbow to look at him.
For only a flash of a second, he thought he saw culpability in her big innocent eyes, and he wondered at it. “Alani?”
“We agreed that as long as it stays fun and exciting, and we’re both enjoying ourselves, sexually I mean, we would keep…experimenting.”
What the hell? Had he really spelled it out so bluntly? Sure, he sometimes did that with other women because he didn’t want them to get ideas. He wanted them to know up front not to have expectations. But that was other women.
Had he been that insensitive with Alani, too?
He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, so instead he said, “Why wouldn’t it be fun?”
“I don’t know.” She didn’t quite meet his gaze. “You promised me great sex, and you’ve more than delivered. But neither of us wanted to get locked down.”
“We didn’t, huh?” That didn’t sound like her. He knew better than most that Alani had never slept around. She was an all-or-nothing kind of woman—or so he’d always assumed. But her sheltered life might have kept her from sowing any wild oats.
Was he her damned oats?
Great sex, that’s what she wanted—what she expected? How much pressure was that? Sure, he had every intention of delivering, but all guys had an off time now and then. If he didn’t leave her limp and smiling, did that mean she’d go off to a different guy with newfound sensuality and confidence?
Over his dead body. Before he let that happen, he’d—
“Jackson?” Gentle fingertips touched his brow. “You’re frowning.”
Because she turned him upside down. He was just disgruntled enough to mutter darkly, “You’re already expecting me to fall short!”
Her eyes widened…and then her mouth twitched. “Not really.”
“But if I do, you’ll use that as an excuse to book, won’t you?”
“We already agreed that I couldn’t book, remember?”
That provocation brought a feral growl from deep in his throat.
His attitude left her playfully puzzled. “Do you expect to be a bad lover?”
“No!”
Then…
“You shouldn’t use that as an excuse to cut things short.”
Searching his austere gaze, she bit her bottom lip and ventured cautiously, “Just how long do you expect this to last?”
“Uh…” Damn it. He’d talked himself into a corner. He wasn’t the insecure sort, but he didn’t really want to fumble through a confession of his indecisive feelings without knowing exactly how she felt first.
And a plan came to mind. She’d just made it clear that she expected mind-blowing sex. Fine. He’d blow her mind. Big-time. He’d yet to meet a woman who didn’t eventually spout her feelings during release. Vows of affection went hand in hand with orgasms.
Give ’em an O, and they got lovey-dovey in return.
Most of the time he was indulgent about professions of love, sympathetic to the attitude if not the actual significance.
“Do we have to decide right this second?” Once he had her blindly moaning out her darkest secrets, then he’d figure out what he wanted, and how much.
As her shoulders slumped a little, Alani let out a breath. “No, of course not. I wasn’t pressuring you.” And then, defensively, “You’re the one who brought it up.”
Jackson knew he’d both confused and embarrassed her. He cuddled her closer. “Why don’t we talk about all this later?” Much, much later. He kissed her forehead. “For now, let’s get some sleep.”
Her drowsy eyes studied him, but in the end she shrugged and settled back down again. She got comfortable with her thigh over his, her hand resting over his heart. “One thing, Jackson.”
