Savor the Danger
Page 85
“Yeah. The school thought we were siblings.” He smiled at some memory. “Not that anyone would ever think we’re related.”
“You gave them a different alias for yourself?”
“Course.”
Curiosity gnawed on her. “Do you have a photo of Arizona?”
He shook his head. “Too dangerous. If anything ever happened to me, I didn’t want anyone to be able to track her. She and I came up with a backup plan. If she’s in trouble, then I hope like hell she remembers it.”
Head reeling, Alani said, “Okay, let’s go back a step. The women’s college?”
“With just a little help, she got her GED. I knew she wanted to continue her education, but she didn’t want me spending my own money, and she had none of her own. I insisted on her taking a car, and a gun—”
“Dear God.”
“—but when it came to the school, she said she was so socially inept that she’d stand out like a turkey among hens, or something dumb like that. She’s usually…” He glanced at her again, cleared his throat. “She’s ballsy. But I know she’s also insecure about some things. Stuff most would take for granted. Like eating in a restaurant, even one that’s not fancy.”
Alani tried to imagine a young girl so wounded, and how she might have felt in Jackson’s shadow. She’d been raised with Trace and had known Dare forever, and still their take-charge confidence could intimidate her.
“Thanks to working with your brother and Dare, more than one influential person owed me, so I pulled some strings and arranged for her to attend the exclusive school. It’s this upscale little college on the East coast. For the right price, they go out of their way to make her feel like a queen. And being there kept her secure, occupied and, I thought, for a little while anyway, that she was finally happy.”
No matter how well intentioned, that sort of atmosphere would be daunting to anyone. “I take it she wasn’t?”
“I dunno.” He pulled up to the security monitor at Dare’s home. He sat there a moment. Finally he took off his sunglasses and looked at Alani. “Thing is, I didn’t know what else to do with her. It wasn’t safe for her to be on her own, but keeping her in the same house with me wasn’t…right.”
It hit her like a tsunami. “She wanted more with you, didn’t she?”
As if expecting recriminations, he dropped his head back. “I’ve never talked with anyone about this.”
Alani scooted closer. “Why not?”
“It’s…personal. For her, I mean. Well, me, too.” He eyed her. “Not many people would understand.”
Oh, she understood all right. It was unfair that one man could be so incredibly gorgeous, so sexy and so bighearted, too. She sympathized with Arizona because, really, who could possibly resist him?
She couldn’t.
“I’m glad that you’re telling me.” She wanted his trust as much as he demanded hers. “You know that I understand her feelings. You were more than kind, and you’re not exactly an ogre.” He’d stolen her heart so easily. “It’s not your fault Arizona looked for more.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jackson said, “God, it was awkward.” He swiveled his head to face her. “No one had ever really done anything for her, so she mistook my motives. Or maybe she wanted to do something to repay me.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, and his voice dropped low. “Arizona’s not always easy to understand.”
He said that as if it were a great understatement, making her wonder.
“She broke my heart. I wanted to protect her and make her happy, you know? But that idea was so foreign to her that she couldn’t accept it at face value.”
Alani couldn’t imagine a man more sexual than Jackson. And by his own admission, Arizona was a beauty. Yet he hadn’t taken advantage of her. It sounded as if he hadn’t even been tempted.
She realized something very important then: Jackson didn’t pity her. He didn’t see her strictly as a victim because if he had, he’d treat her the same way he treated Arizona.
But Jackson wanted her. Often. He was so open about his sexuality that she knew, while he empathized with what she’d gone through, he truly accepted that she’d survived intact.
He trusted in her strength, and that made him almost too irresistible for words.
Opening her seat belt, Alani crawled over the center console to him. His brows shot up, but he hurriedly opened his belt, too.
When she went to straddle his lap, he helped but asked, “What are we doing here, babe?”
“You’re being wonderful, and I’m showing you how incredible you are.”
“Incredible?” He didn’t take the compliment well. “What the hell brought that on?”
Cupping his face, Alani smiled at him, then sighed. “You do so much.”
“No.” His brows scrunched down and his mouth flattened. “Hell, no.” He tried to lever her away, but she held on, and with the steering wheel and console in his way, he couldn’t pry her loose. “Damn it, Alani, don’t make me into a saint, for Christ’s sake. It wasn’t like that.”
“It was exactly like that.” Despite the terrible upbringing he’d had, or maybe because of it, Jackson showed such empathy to others. He put himself out there to help everyone—from abused women to the elderly to stray cats. More than his sex appeal, more than his alluring charm, that stole her heart and sealed her fate. “It’s still like that.”
“You gave them a different alias for yourself?”
“Course.”
Curiosity gnawed on her. “Do you have a photo of Arizona?”
He shook his head. “Too dangerous. If anything ever happened to me, I didn’t want anyone to be able to track her. She and I came up with a backup plan. If she’s in trouble, then I hope like hell she remembers it.”
Head reeling, Alani said, “Okay, let’s go back a step. The women’s college?”
“With just a little help, she got her GED. I knew she wanted to continue her education, but she didn’t want me spending my own money, and she had none of her own. I insisted on her taking a car, and a gun—”
“Dear God.”
“—but when it came to the school, she said she was so socially inept that she’d stand out like a turkey among hens, or something dumb like that. She’s usually…” He glanced at her again, cleared his throat. “She’s ballsy. But I know she’s also insecure about some things. Stuff most would take for granted. Like eating in a restaurant, even one that’s not fancy.”
Alani tried to imagine a young girl so wounded, and how she might have felt in Jackson’s shadow. She’d been raised with Trace and had known Dare forever, and still their take-charge confidence could intimidate her.
“Thanks to working with your brother and Dare, more than one influential person owed me, so I pulled some strings and arranged for her to attend the exclusive school. It’s this upscale little college on the East coast. For the right price, they go out of their way to make her feel like a queen. And being there kept her secure, occupied and, I thought, for a little while anyway, that she was finally happy.”
No matter how well intentioned, that sort of atmosphere would be daunting to anyone. “I take it she wasn’t?”
“I dunno.” He pulled up to the security monitor at Dare’s home. He sat there a moment. Finally he took off his sunglasses and looked at Alani. “Thing is, I didn’t know what else to do with her. It wasn’t safe for her to be on her own, but keeping her in the same house with me wasn’t…right.”
It hit her like a tsunami. “She wanted more with you, didn’t she?”
As if expecting recriminations, he dropped his head back. “I’ve never talked with anyone about this.”
Alani scooted closer. “Why not?”
“It’s…personal. For her, I mean. Well, me, too.” He eyed her. “Not many people would understand.”
Oh, she understood all right. It was unfair that one man could be so incredibly gorgeous, so sexy and so bighearted, too. She sympathized with Arizona because, really, who could possibly resist him?
She couldn’t.
“I’m glad that you’re telling me.” She wanted his trust as much as he demanded hers. “You know that I understand her feelings. You were more than kind, and you’re not exactly an ogre.” He’d stolen her heart so easily. “It’s not your fault Arizona looked for more.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jackson said, “God, it was awkward.” He swiveled his head to face her. “No one had ever really done anything for her, so she mistook my motives. Or maybe she wanted to do something to repay me.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, and his voice dropped low. “Arizona’s not always easy to understand.”
He said that as if it were a great understatement, making her wonder.
“She broke my heart. I wanted to protect her and make her happy, you know? But that idea was so foreign to her that she couldn’t accept it at face value.”
Alani couldn’t imagine a man more sexual than Jackson. And by his own admission, Arizona was a beauty. Yet he hadn’t taken advantage of her. It sounded as if he hadn’t even been tempted.
She realized something very important then: Jackson didn’t pity her. He didn’t see her strictly as a victim because if he had, he’d treat her the same way he treated Arizona.
But Jackson wanted her. Often. He was so open about his sexuality that she knew, while he empathized with what she’d gone through, he truly accepted that she’d survived intact.
He trusted in her strength, and that made him almost too irresistible for words.
Opening her seat belt, Alani crawled over the center console to him. His brows shot up, but he hurriedly opened his belt, too.
When she went to straddle his lap, he helped but asked, “What are we doing here, babe?”
“You’re being wonderful, and I’m showing you how incredible you are.”
“Incredible?” He didn’t take the compliment well. “What the hell brought that on?”
Cupping his face, Alani smiled at him, then sighed. “You do so much.”
“No.” His brows scrunched down and his mouth flattened. “Hell, no.” He tried to lever her away, but she held on, and with the steering wheel and console in his way, he couldn’t pry her loose. “Damn it, Alani, don’t make me into a saint, for Christ’s sake. It wasn’t like that.”
“It was exactly like that.” Despite the terrible upbringing he’d had, or maybe because of it, Jackson showed such empathy to others. He put himself out there to help everyone—from abused women to the elderly to stray cats. More than his sex appeal, more than his alluring charm, that stole her heart and sealed her fate. “It’s still like that.”
