Savor the Moment
Page 45
Yes, she understood unhappy marriages, but she didn’t understand and couldn’t accept using that unhappiness as an excuse or rationale for being unfaithful.
Why didn’t people just end it? If they wanted someone else, or something else, why not break it off clean first instead of cheating, lying, tolerating, just existing?
Divorce couldn’t be more painful for a couple, or the child or children stirred up in that brew with them, than the deceit, the pretense, that smoldering anger. Wasn’t that why, even after all these years, a part of her wished her parents would walk away from each other instead of pretending to be married?
“Well, and here I’ve come in to see if I can help since you had all that trouble.” Mrs. Grady fisted her hands on her hips. “And here you are loafing.”
“I’m about to get to it.”
Lips pursed, Mrs. Grady walked over to tap Laurel’s chin up so their eyes met. “And what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Nothing really.”
Mrs. Grady had a way of using her eyebrows in certain expressions that had very clear nonverbal meanings. At the moment, they said bullshit.
“It’s just that whole business before got under my skin. It’s nothing.”
“It’s not the first time you’ve had donnybrooks at one of these dos. Won’t be the last either.”
“No. It’s not really the fight. That—after the fact—was pretty entertaining. Parker won’t think so for a couple of days, but really, it had shining moments.”
“You’re circling around it.”
“It’s stupid. I ended up with the stepmother. Luck of the draw. I guess she felt sad and embarrassed, so she had to explain to me how she’d gotten involved with the FOB when he was sort of, but not really, separated, and how he and his first wife weren’t together so much as just occupying the same house.”
“Most of the men who want a taste of something fresh say something like that.”
“Yeah, which is lame and it’s false. But I think I believe her—the stepmother. But why does it matter? Why is it supposed to be okay if you get involved with someone who might be on the way out of a marriage? They’re still in it, aren’t they?”
“That’s true,” Mrs. Grady agreed. “But life’s rarely a matter of truth and lies, without the gray in between.”
“Then why the hell don’t they get out of it if they’re going to hook up with someone else?”
In a gesture more practical than comforting, Mrs. Grady smoothed down Laurel’s hair. “People have their reasons for the damnedest things in my experience.”
“She’s okay with it. The bride. I remember the consults, and the tastings, the rehearsal. She loves her parents, that’s clear. And she loves her stepmother. How do people manage that?”
“It’s not always about taking sides, Laurel.”
“No, it’s not. But you know, I never had a chance to take sides, or not, because they were both so wrong.” She didn’t have to explain she’d shifted to her own parents. “And even now, if I think about it, if I think about sides? It’s them on one, me on the other. It’s stupid, but part of me is still pissed off that they’re both so ... careless.”
“You’re angry with them when you should feel sorry for them. They’re the ones who are missing out.”
“They like their life—lives—arrangement.” She shrugged. “At this point it’s really none of my business anyway.”
“Laurel Anne.” Mrs. G cupped Laurel’s face in her hands, using a name and a gesture rarely employed. “They’ll always be your parents, so it’ll always be your business.”
“Will I always be disappointed in them?”
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?”
“I guess it is.” She sighed, hugely. “Okay. Brooding time’s up. I need to get the groom’s cake and the rest of the desserts dealt with.”
“I’m here, so I’ll give you a hand with it.”
Together they carried boxes of pastries to the Ballroom.
“I’m always dazzled by the flowers,” Mrs. Grady said as she looked around the room. “Our Emma has a magic touch. I like the colors for this one. Nothing pale about it, all bright and bold. Well, would you look at that.” She stepped over to study the wedding cake. “Talk about the magic touch. You’ve outdone yourself here, Laurel.”
“I think it’s my new favorite summer cake. I’ll save you a piece.”
“I’ll let you. Wedding cake’s lucky cake.”
“So I hear. Mrs. G? Did you ever think about getting married again, or ...”
Mrs. Grady let out a delighted laugh. “Oh, there’s been some or from time to time. I’m not doddering. But marriage?” She walked back to help Laurel with the desserts. “I had mine. I had my Charlie. My one.”
“Do you believe that?” Laurel asked. “That there’s one person? One?”
“I do, for some of us. For others, if things don’t work, or you lose someone, there’s another. But for some there’s the one, beginning to end. No one else can fit. No one else gets into the heart the same way, and lives there.”
“Yeah. No one else. But you’re not always the one back.” She thought of Del, then made herself shake it off. “Do you miss him, still? Your Charlie?”
“Every day. Thirty-three years this November. I miss him every day. But I had him, didn’t I? I had my one. Not everyone can say that.You can.”
Slowly, Laurel shifted her gaze over.
“He’s been your one from the start. Took you long enough to go after him.”
Why deny it? Laurel thought. Why pretend otherwise with someone who understood so well? “It’s scary.”
Mrs. Grady let out a laugh. “Sure it is. You want safe? Find a nice puppy you can train to come to heel. Love’s supposed to be scary.”
“Why?”
“Because if there’s no fear there’s no thrill.”
“If that’s true, then I’m thrilled half to death.” Laurel cocked her head. “That’s Parker’s signal. Cocktail and dinner hour.”
“Go on and give her a hand. I can finish this.”
Why didn’t people just end it? If they wanted someone else, or something else, why not break it off clean first instead of cheating, lying, tolerating, just existing?
Divorce couldn’t be more painful for a couple, or the child or children stirred up in that brew with them, than the deceit, the pretense, that smoldering anger. Wasn’t that why, even after all these years, a part of her wished her parents would walk away from each other instead of pretending to be married?
“Well, and here I’ve come in to see if I can help since you had all that trouble.” Mrs. Grady fisted her hands on her hips. “And here you are loafing.”
“I’m about to get to it.”
Lips pursed, Mrs. Grady walked over to tap Laurel’s chin up so their eyes met. “And what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Nothing really.”
Mrs. Grady had a way of using her eyebrows in certain expressions that had very clear nonverbal meanings. At the moment, they said bullshit.
“It’s just that whole business before got under my skin. It’s nothing.”
“It’s not the first time you’ve had donnybrooks at one of these dos. Won’t be the last either.”
“No. It’s not really the fight. That—after the fact—was pretty entertaining. Parker won’t think so for a couple of days, but really, it had shining moments.”
“You’re circling around it.”
“It’s stupid. I ended up with the stepmother. Luck of the draw. I guess she felt sad and embarrassed, so she had to explain to me how she’d gotten involved with the FOB when he was sort of, but not really, separated, and how he and his first wife weren’t together so much as just occupying the same house.”
“Most of the men who want a taste of something fresh say something like that.”
“Yeah, which is lame and it’s false. But I think I believe her—the stepmother. But why does it matter? Why is it supposed to be okay if you get involved with someone who might be on the way out of a marriage? They’re still in it, aren’t they?”
“That’s true,” Mrs. Grady agreed. “But life’s rarely a matter of truth and lies, without the gray in between.”
“Then why the hell don’t they get out of it if they’re going to hook up with someone else?”
In a gesture more practical than comforting, Mrs. Grady smoothed down Laurel’s hair. “People have their reasons for the damnedest things in my experience.”
“She’s okay with it. The bride. I remember the consults, and the tastings, the rehearsal. She loves her parents, that’s clear. And she loves her stepmother. How do people manage that?”
“It’s not always about taking sides, Laurel.”
“No, it’s not. But you know, I never had a chance to take sides, or not, because they were both so wrong.” She didn’t have to explain she’d shifted to her own parents. “And even now, if I think about it, if I think about sides? It’s them on one, me on the other. It’s stupid, but part of me is still pissed off that they’re both so ... careless.”
“You’re angry with them when you should feel sorry for them. They’re the ones who are missing out.”
“They like their life—lives—arrangement.” She shrugged. “At this point it’s really none of my business anyway.”
“Laurel Anne.” Mrs. G cupped Laurel’s face in her hands, using a name and a gesture rarely employed. “They’ll always be your parents, so it’ll always be your business.”
“Will I always be disappointed in them?”
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?”
“I guess it is.” She sighed, hugely. “Okay. Brooding time’s up. I need to get the groom’s cake and the rest of the desserts dealt with.”
“I’m here, so I’ll give you a hand with it.”
Together they carried boxes of pastries to the Ballroom.
“I’m always dazzled by the flowers,” Mrs. Grady said as she looked around the room. “Our Emma has a magic touch. I like the colors for this one. Nothing pale about it, all bright and bold. Well, would you look at that.” She stepped over to study the wedding cake. “Talk about the magic touch. You’ve outdone yourself here, Laurel.”
“I think it’s my new favorite summer cake. I’ll save you a piece.”
“I’ll let you. Wedding cake’s lucky cake.”
“So I hear. Mrs. G? Did you ever think about getting married again, or ...”
Mrs. Grady let out a delighted laugh. “Oh, there’s been some or from time to time. I’m not doddering. But marriage?” She walked back to help Laurel with the desserts. “I had mine. I had my Charlie. My one.”
“Do you believe that?” Laurel asked. “That there’s one person? One?”
“I do, for some of us. For others, if things don’t work, or you lose someone, there’s another. But for some there’s the one, beginning to end. No one else can fit. No one else gets into the heart the same way, and lives there.”
“Yeah. No one else. But you’re not always the one back.” She thought of Del, then made herself shake it off. “Do you miss him, still? Your Charlie?”
“Every day. Thirty-three years this November. I miss him every day. But I had him, didn’t I? I had my one. Not everyone can say that.You can.”
Slowly, Laurel shifted her gaze over.
“He’s been your one from the start. Took you long enough to go after him.”
Why deny it? Laurel thought. Why pretend otherwise with someone who understood so well? “It’s scary.”
Mrs. Grady let out a laugh. “Sure it is. You want safe? Find a nice puppy you can train to come to heel. Love’s supposed to be scary.”
“Why?”
“Because if there’s no fear there’s no thrill.”
“If that’s true, then I’m thrilled half to death.” Laurel cocked her head. “That’s Parker’s signal. Cocktail and dinner hour.”
“Go on and give her a hand. I can finish this.”
