Savor the Moment
Page 84
“He didn’t come after you?” Emma huffed. “Idiot.”
“No, really. He knows enough to be sure I meant it. I didn’t expect him to actually leave. You can know someone all your life, and they can still surprise you. Let’s just try not to have this spoil everything. I think I’d be literally sick if it did. I just want to go to bed.”
“We’ll stay with you,” Emma murmured.
“No, really. I’m going to bed, and you can all do me a favor by going out there and fostering the pretense that everything’s fine. Situation normal. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Okay,” Parker said before Emma could protest. “If you need company or anything else, you just have to knock on my door.”
“I know. I’ll be all right, and I’ll be better in the morning.”
“If you’re not, and you want to go home, we’ll go.” Parker pulled her in for a hug.
“Or we’ll kick the men out and stay,” Mac told her.
“Best friends ever. I’ll be fine.”
She stayed where she was when they left her, but knowing one of them would come back to check on her in an hour, she made herself get up, get ready for bed.
She’d had her summer, she reminded herself. No one could ever take that away from her. She’d had the love of her life for a season. Not everyone could say the same.
She’d survive. And because, even if they couldn’t be lovers, they would always be family, she and Del would find a way to heal the rift.
She lay in the dark and ached. Ached and ached. And she tried to comfort herself that it would get better with time. Then she turned her face into the pillow and wept a little, because she didn’t believe it.
The sea breeze whispered over her cheek like a kiss. Sweet and soft. She sighed with it, wanting to cling to sleep, to cling to the numbness that came with it.
“You need to wake up.”
She opened her eyes and stared into Del’s. “What?”
“Wake up, get up. Come with me.”
“What?” She pushed at him, struggled to think. The light was the quiet dull silver of predawn. “What are you doing? Where did you go? What are you doing back?”
“Up.”
She tried to snag the sheet when he pulled it off, but missed. “You walked out on your friends.You left when—”
“Oh, just shut up. I listened to you, now you’ll listen to me. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Down to the beach to finish this.”
“I’m not going down to the beach with you.We had our scene, now it’s done.”
“You are a contrary woman, Laurel. You can walk or I can drag you, but we’re going to the damn beach. If you ask me why, I swear, the dragging begins.”
“I need to get dressed.”
He studied her tank and boxers. “You’re covered. Don’t test me, McBane. I haven’t had any sleep, and I’ve had a long drive. I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re not in the mood. Isn’t that something?” She swung her legs off the bed, planted her feet on the floor. “All right, we’ll do this at the beach since that’s so important to you.”
She slapped his hand away when he reached for hers. “I didn’t have the best night either, and I haven’t had coffee. Don’t you test me.”
She stalked out onto the deck, down the stairs.
“You might as well settle down,” he advised. “There’s no point being pissed.”
“I see points.”
“You usually do. Lucky, I’m more even-tempered.”
“My ass.Who threatened to drag who out of bed in the middle of the night?”
“Nearly sunrise. That’s pretty good timing, actually. I like it. New day dawning and all that.” He kicked off his shoes at the base of the beach steps. “We didn’t get much farther than this last night. Geographically. I think we can do better in other areas. Here’s a start.”
He spun her around, yanked her into a hot and possessive kiss. She shoved against him, met a solid and immovable wall. He let her go when she went stiff.
“Don’t,” she said, quietly now.
“You need to look at me, and listen to me, and Laurel, you need to hear me.” He took her by the shoulders, but gently. “Maybe you’re right, and I don’t see, but goddamn it, you don’t hear. So, I’m looking, and I’m seeing. You listen, and you hear.”
“All right. All right. There’s no point in us being angry over this. It’s just—”
“You can’t hear if you don’t shut up.”
“Tell me to shut up again,” she invited, with a dare in her eyes.
He simply laid his hand over her mouth. “I’m going to fix this. Fixing things is what I do, who I am. If you love me, you’re going to have to accept that.”
He dropped his hand. “I can fight with you. I’ve got no problem with that.”
“Lucky for you.”
“But I hate that I hurt you by being careless on one hand and too careful on the other. It’s a Brown trait, I guess, trying to keep the balance.”
“I’m responsible—”
“For your own feelings, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t know if you were always the one. I got used to looking at you and thinking about you another way. So I just don’t know.”
“I understand that, Del. I do. I—”
“Be quiet, and listen. You changed what was between us. You took the step, and I didn’t see it coming. I can’t be sorry for that when I’m so damn grateful for it. I don’t know if you were always the one,” he said again. “But I know you’re the one now, and I know you’re going to be the one tomorrow, and next month, next year. And you’re going to be the one for the rest of my life.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Need it simpler? It’s you.”
She looked at him, the face she knew so well. And saw. And in that moment, her heart simply flew.
“I’ve loved you all your life, and that was easy. I don’t know, not for certain, how long I’ve been in love with you, but I know it’s not so easy. But it’s right and it’s real, and I don’t want easy. I want you.”
“No, really. He knows enough to be sure I meant it. I didn’t expect him to actually leave. You can know someone all your life, and they can still surprise you. Let’s just try not to have this spoil everything. I think I’d be literally sick if it did. I just want to go to bed.”
“We’ll stay with you,” Emma murmured.
“No, really. I’m going to bed, and you can all do me a favor by going out there and fostering the pretense that everything’s fine. Situation normal. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Okay,” Parker said before Emma could protest. “If you need company or anything else, you just have to knock on my door.”
“I know. I’ll be all right, and I’ll be better in the morning.”
“If you’re not, and you want to go home, we’ll go.” Parker pulled her in for a hug.
“Or we’ll kick the men out and stay,” Mac told her.
“Best friends ever. I’ll be fine.”
She stayed where she was when they left her, but knowing one of them would come back to check on her in an hour, she made herself get up, get ready for bed.
She’d had her summer, she reminded herself. No one could ever take that away from her. She’d had the love of her life for a season. Not everyone could say the same.
She’d survive. And because, even if they couldn’t be lovers, they would always be family, she and Del would find a way to heal the rift.
She lay in the dark and ached. Ached and ached. And she tried to comfort herself that it would get better with time. Then she turned her face into the pillow and wept a little, because she didn’t believe it.
The sea breeze whispered over her cheek like a kiss. Sweet and soft. She sighed with it, wanting to cling to sleep, to cling to the numbness that came with it.
“You need to wake up.”
She opened her eyes and stared into Del’s. “What?”
“Wake up, get up. Come with me.”
“What?” She pushed at him, struggled to think. The light was the quiet dull silver of predawn. “What are you doing? Where did you go? What are you doing back?”
“Up.”
She tried to snag the sheet when he pulled it off, but missed. “You walked out on your friends.You left when—”
“Oh, just shut up. I listened to you, now you’ll listen to me. Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Down to the beach to finish this.”
“I’m not going down to the beach with you.We had our scene, now it’s done.”
“You are a contrary woman, Laurel. You can walk or I can drag you, but we’re going to the damn beach. If you ask me why, I swear, the dragging begins.”
“I need to get dressed.”
He studied her tank and boxers. “You’re covered. Don’t test me, McBane. I haven’t had any sleep, and I’ve had a long drive. I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re not in the mood. Isn’t that something?” She swung her legs off the bed, planted her feet on the floor. “All right, we’ll do this at the beach since that’s so important to you.”
She slapped his hand away when he reached for hers. “I didn’t have the best night either, and I haven’t had coffee. Don’t you test me.”
She stalked out onto the deck, down the stairs.
“You might as well settle down,” he advised. “There’s no point being pissed.”
“I see points.”
“You usually do. Lucky, I’m more even-tempered.”
“My ass.Who threatened to drag who out of bed in the middle of the night?”
“Nearly sunrise. That’s pretty good timing, actually. I like it. New day dawning and all that.” He kicked off his shoes at the base of the beach steps. “We didn’t get much farther than this last night. Geographically. I think we can do better in other areas. Here’s a start.”
He spun her around, yanked her into a hot and possessive kiss. She shoved against him, met a solid and immovable wall. He let her go when she went stiff.
“Don’t,” she said, quietly now.
“You need to look at me, and listen to me, and Laurel, you need to hear me.” He took her by the shoulders, but gently. “Maybe you’re right, and I don’t see, but goddamn it, you don’t hear. So, I’m looking, and I’m seeing. You listen, and you hear.”
“All right. All right. There’s no point in us being angry over this. It’s just—”
“You can’t hear if you don’t shut up.”
“Tell me to shut up again,” she invited, with a dare in her eyes.
He simply laid his hand over her mouth. “I’m going to fix this. Fixing things is what I do, who I am. If you love me, you’re going to have to accept that.”
He dropped his hand. “I can fight with you. I’ve got no problem with that.”
“Lucky for you.”
“But I hate that I hurt you by being careless on one hand and too careful on the other. It’s a Brown trait, I guess, trying to keep the balance.”
“I’m responsible—”
“For your own feelings, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don’t know if you were always the one. I got used to looking at you and thinking about you another way. So I just don’t know.”
“I understand that, Del. I do. I—”
“Be quiet, and listen. You changed what was between us. You took the step, and I didn’t see it coming. I can’t be sorry for that when I’m so damn grateful for it. I don’t know if you were always the one,” he said again. “But I know you’re the one now, and I know you’re going to be the one tomorrow, and next month, next year. And you’re going to be the one for the rest of my life.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Need it simpler? It’s you.”
She looked at him, the face she knew so well. And saw. And in that moment, her heart simply flew.
“I’ve loved you all your life, and that was easy. I don’t know, not for certain, how long I’ve been in love with you, but I know it’s not so easy. But it’s right and it’s real, and I don’t want easy. I want you.”
