Say You Love Me
Page 14
He was lying on his back on top Of the covers, one arm thrown up above his head, the other slack at his side. The long sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing the same golden hair on his arms that was atop his head. The muscles were rather thick on his forearms too, his xvrists wide, his hands large.
Anotier thatch of golden hair was revealed on his upper chest, where his shirt lay open. With the one arm raised, the shirt was also stretched taut, showing just how wide his chest was, how hard and flat his waist. And his legs, so long that his feet reached the end of the bed, shoeless just now, though he'd left his stockings on.
His jaw was slack in sleep, his firm lips just barely parted. He wasn't snoring, but she wondered if he sometimes did. She supposed she would find out eventually.
She saw long, golden eyelashes that she hadn't noticed before because those changeable green eyes of his tended to capture her complete attention. He was frowning, apparently not liking whatever dream he was having. Her fingers almost itched to smooth his brow, but she didn't dare.
She didn't want him waking up beside her. Absolutely not. Their position was just too intimate at the moment, and there was no telling what ideas that might give him-though maybe not. She did probably look a fright, after all. Two days of only bed baths, and her hair had gone through several night sweats without being washed. Undoubtedly a definite fright.
Actually, a bath sounded heavenly at the moment, a nice hot soak to ease those sore muscles she was feeling and get rid of the itch on her scalp. And she might be able to accomplish it before Derek even woke, so that she could look halfway decent again when she got around to thanking him for his tender, if somewhat bossy, care.
It amazed her, now that she thought about it, that he'd stayed to tend to her himself when he didn't have to. He could have arranged for a nurse. But she supposed it was his remorse that had kept him there. Although whatever the reason, she was glad that he'd stayed, glad that he'd shown her again that he wasn't as callous and thoughtless as she'd begun to think.
She eased her way out of the bed without disturbing him and gathered up some clothes. And a last glance his way before she closed the bathroom door showed him still fast asleep-at least she hadn't been able to discern his eyes slightly cracked and watching her. And the bath did wonders, ridding her of any lingering feelings of illness. She even took the time to dry her hair before she dressed for the day, though she was still brushing it when she reentered the bedroom.
She'd taken so long, Derek was no longer there. A fire was now burning in the grate again, chasing the chill from the room. Though truthfully she'd barely noticed that chill when she'd left the bed, after staring at Derek for so long. She smiled now, noting that even the bed had been made, and truly, she wished she could have seen him manage that on his own.
She took a few moments more to fix her hair into her usual coiffure, then went down to see if Derek had left the flat completely. He hadn't. She found him in the kitchen brewing a pot of fresh tea, and on a tray next to him was a plate filled with a half dozen fat pastries. He hadn't changed clothes yet. It was possible he didn't have any clothes there yet to change into.
She smiled when he looked up and noticed her in the doorway. "I won't believe you've had time to bake those," she said, nodding toward the pastries.
He snorted. "Not bloody likely, and never again will I even try. No, I heard a hawker passing and ran down to see what he was selling. Just pastries, but welcome this time of the morning, and actually still warm."
His "never again will I even try" made sense as she noticed the disastrous mess the kitchen had become. Seeing her expression as she gazed about the room, he told her, "A cook will be showing up today-What?" he added, when she looked even more appalled.
"She will poke her head in here and head straight for the front door," she predicted.
He frowned. "Nonsense," he said, but then, "You think so? Very well, I'll make it worth her while to stay. But if you don't like this cook, please don't let her go until you have a replacement ready to take over-that is, unless you can cook. As for your other servants, they will be showing up this week for you to interview." "So I am to stay here?" "Don't you like it?"
He looked so disappointed, she was very quick to reassure him, "Of course I like it, I just wasn't sure this was where you were putting me." "Gad, didn't I mention that? No? Well, I've signed a sixmonth lease, which can be easily extended. So if there's something you don't like, any of the furniture or whatever, we can change it. This will be your home, Kelsey. I want you to feel comfortable in it."
She blushed slightly at the permanence of that statement and how it related to their relationship-which had yet to really start. "That's very kind of you. I'm sure I will be most comfortable here." "Excellent. Now, shall we partake of this meager fare mi the dining room, where it's not so cluttered?"
She smiled and left the kitchen. The dining room was very cheerful at that time of day, catching the early sun, which hadn't disappeared yet under a bank of clouds, a rare occurrence that time of year. "How many servants am I to hire?" she asked as she took a seat across from him and poured their tea. "As many as you need." "Will you be paying their wages, or do you wish me to see to that?" "Hmmm, hadn't thought of that. I suppose it will be easiest if I just leave you an allowance for the household, as well as for yourself. And by the by, as soon as you're feeling up to it, we need to take you shopping. You can't have very many clothes stuffed into that small valise of yours."
She supposed she could save him the cost of that by sending for the rest of her own wardrobe. But how would she explain that to Aunt Elizabeth, when she was supposed to only be visiting her friend in Kettering for a short time? It was bad enough that she would have to continue to invent excuses for extending her visit. Besides, her clothes likely weren't in the style of the kind he had in mind buying for her, though she sincerely hoped there wouldn't be any other atrocious red gowns.
So she said, "As you wish." "And you are feeling better this morning?" he asked somewhat hesitantly. "Fever all gone?" "Yes, I'm quite well finally."
His smile suddenly turned sensual. "Excellent. Then I will leave you to your own devices today, but will return to spend this evening with you."
Kelsey could have kicked herself for not realizing why he was asking after her health. And she had no doubt at all what he meant by "spend this evening with you." She could have postponed it further with just a complaint or two. Now, blushing, she could only nod her concurrence.
THE COOK ARRIVED THAT MORNING JUST AFTER DEREK LEFT. And just with the little time that Kelsey spent with the woman, she knew they were going to get along splendidly. Alicia Whipple didn't put on airs, claimed she minded her own business, and after Kelsey got through the embarrassing part of having to explain that she would be receiving a gentleman caller in the evenings, the only polite way to put it, Alicia assured her that whomever she entertained was Kelsey's own affair and none of hers.
Her situation was a problem. She didn't doubt that there were people of the servant class who would refuse to work for someone like her, figuring they would be tarred with the same brush.
For some servants, who they worked for was a matter of pride, and working for a lord's mistress was definitely nothing to be proud about. But there would be others who wouldn't care, who just needed the work, and she would find her people from these.
A carriage and driver showed up around noon. The driver, not Derek's, informed her that he was now in her employ.
He explained where he would house the carriage and horses-the town house didn't come with its own stableand where he could be reached whenever he was needed. And that made her realize that she would need at least one footman, when she had thought she could make do with a smaller staff.
She made her first use of the carriage that afternoon. After giving it some thought, and after the sweet kiss that Derek had left her with, she decided to try to make the evening somewhat romantic, rather than the sordid affair it was. To that end, she arranged with Alicia a nice dinner with wine, and gave her ample money to supply it.
Thankfully, Derek had left her with more than that kiss. The wad of pound notes he'd handed her had added up to nearly one hundred, and he had merely said, "This should tide you over for a bit." Indeed. Large households could be run on much less, and her household was small.
She left Alicia to shop for the food, but she did some shopping of her own. It took quite a while to find what she was looking for, because she wasn't familiar with London. Finally, she'd had to explain her needs to the driverl She did finally find a shop that supplied negligees of the fancy sortor rather, her driver did. And although she'd never owned anything even remotely similar-her sleeping gowns were all of the warm, serviceable kind-the woman who sold her the ensemble, which came with a matching robe and slippers, assured her that all new brides were wearing negligees on their wedding nights these days.
Whether that was true, or whether the woman had sensed Kelsey's hesitancy and had just been determined to make the sale, she didn't know, nor did she care. The negligee was exactly what Kelsey had envisioned when she'd gone hunting for it, so she was quite satisfied with her purchase. Now, if she would just have the nerve to wear it when the time came....
Derek hadn't told her what time he would be returning that evening. She should have asked him, but not knowing wasn't too much of a problem, or at least Alicia didn't think so. The gentry were accustomed to eating at unusual hours, after all, depending on which party they were attending, and food could be kept warm.
As it happened, he arrived earlier than anticipated, just after sunset. She didn't know it, but he'd had to force himself to stay away even that long, to give her some time to herself, he was so eager to commence their relationship. And he didn't mention it, which was fortunate. She was nervous enough. Knowing that he would have preferred to take her straight up to bed would have undone her.
He was quite the gentleman, however, giving her no indication by look or word what was on his mind. And he arrived with flowers in hand-unnecessary, but very thoughtful. Arranging them helped to put Kelsey at ease during those awkward first moments.
He was dressed rather formally, but then she imagined his valet didn't let him out of the house of an evening dressed any other way. His cravat was perfectly tied, and a bit of white lace showed at the cuffs of his dark brown coat, which stretched so tautly across his wide shoulders. It was sinful, how handsome he was, and she felt so dowdy in comparison.
She had arranged her hair only a bit more fancy tonight, but it was the best she could do. She had brought no formal clothes with her, just a few day dresses for traveling and one gown, which she was wearing now, that could be used for an informal evening. But it was nothing fancy.
It was plain rose taffeta with the short puffed sleeves favored for evening wear, in the empire style, but very unsophisticated for London in that the scooped neckline wasn't the least bit low, as was fashionable. There was nothing provocative about it, no lace or fancy trims to make it a bit more elegant, but Derek still couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her.
They shared aperitifs in the parlor before dinner. Kelsey hadn't thought beyond a little wine, but Alicia had taken stock of what was in the house before going to the market, and fortunately, she'd made a few extra purchases.
Derek kept the conversation light even after they adjourned to the dining room. He mentioned a stallion that his friend Percy had bought that week that was expected to do well at the races. He spoke of his school days and told her about his best friend, Nicholas Eden, and how they'd met. Some of his family was then mentioned, at least his cousin Regina, who had married Nicholas, and his Uncle Anthony, whom he had gone to watch demolish some contender today at Knighton's Hall, whatever that was.
Fortunately, he kept the conversation going with anecdotes about himself, because there was not much she could tell him about herself without lying or giving away the truth. They had no history yet that would lend to discussions about things they had done together-nothing that wasn't disturbing in some way, at any rate.
Over dessert, he finally cleared up the mystery of what had happened in Bridgewater. "The girl I instructed to deliver the supplies to the cottage was let go." "Because she didn't deliver them?" "No, she was let go before I gave her the instructions, which is why she didn't bother to carry them out or turn them over to someone else to do. Would have been nice if she'd told me that at the time, but she didn't. She was miffed with the housekeeper for discharging her, and simply packed up her things and left." "Then I owe you an apology."
"No, you don't," he assured her. She shook her head. "Yes, I do, for thinking you were thoughtless and inconsiderate-and for tossing that note you left me in the fire and wishing it were you instead."
He stared at her incredulously for about two seconds before he burst out laughing. Kelsey blushed. She wasn't sure why she'd made that confession, except it went hand in hand with her apology, to explain it anyway.
But she had no idea why he found it so funny until he remarked, "That's quite a temper you keep under wraps. Would never guess it was there, listening to you." "I suppose I do have a bit of one, though it's rarely had occasion to be provoked," she admitted. "It runs in my family, I guess, at least on my mother's side."
Which was an understatement. In fact, folks would say her mother's temper was a bit too hot, considering she'd killed her husband during one of her tantrums, unintentionally, but final all the same.
Anotier thatch of golden hair was revealed on his upper chest, where his shirt lay open. With the one arm raised, the shirt was also stretched taut, showing just how wide his chest was, how hard and flat his waist. And his legs, so long that his feet reached the end of the bed, shoeless just now, though he'd left his stockings on.
His jaw was slack in sleep, his firm lips just barely parted. He wasn't snoring, but she wondered if he sometimes did. She supposed she would find out eventually.
She saw long, golden eyelashes that she hadn't noticed before because those changeable green eyes of his tended to capture her complete attention. He was frowning, apparently not liking whatever dream he was having. Her fingers almost itched to smooth his brow, but she didn't dare.
She didn't want him waking up beside her. Absolutely not. Their position was just too intimate at the moment, and there was no telling what ideas that might give him-though maybe not. She did probably look a fright, after all. Two days of only bed baths, and her hair had gone through several night sweats without being washed. Undoubtedly a definite fright.
Actually, a bath sounded heavenly at the moment, a nice hot soak to ease those sore muscles she was feeling and get rid of the itch on her scalp. And she might be able to accomplish it before Derek even woke, so that she could look halfway decent again when she got around to thanking him for his tender, if somewhat bossy, care.
It amazed her, now that she thought about it, that he'd stayed to tend to her himself when he didn't have to. He could have arranged for a nurse. But she supposed it was his remorse that had kept him there. Although whatever the reason, she was glad that he'd stayed, glad that he'd shown her again that he wasn't as callous and thoughtless as she'd begun to think.
She eased her way out of the bed without disturbing him and gathered up some clothes. And a last glance his way before she closed the bathroom door showed him still fast asleep-at least she hadn't been able to discern his eyes slightly cracked and watching her. And the bath did wonders, ridding her of any lingering feelings of illness. She even took the time to dry her hair before she dressed for the day, though she was still brushing it when she reentered the bedroom.
She'd taken so long, Derek was no longer there. A fire was now burning in the grate again, chasing the chill from the room. Though truthfully she'd barely noticed that chill when she'd left the bed, after staring at Derek for so long. She smiled now, noting that even the bed had been made, and truly, she wished she could have seen him manage that on his own.
She took a few moments more to fix her hair into her usual coiffure, then went down to see if Derek had left the flat completely. He hadn't. She found him in the kitchen brewing a pot of fresh tea, and on a tray next to him was a plate filled with a half dozen fat pastries. He hadn't changed clothes yet. It was possible he didn't have any clothes there yet to change into.
She smiled when he looked up and noticed her in the doorway. "I won't believe you've had time to bake those," she said, nodding toward the pastries.
He snorted. "Not bloody likely, and never again will I even try. No, I heard a hawker passing and ran down to see what he was selling. Just pastries, but welcome this time of the morning, and actually still warm."
His "never again will I even try" made sense as she noticed the disastrous mess the kitchen had become. Seeing her expression as she gazed about the room, he told her, "A cook will be showing up today-What?" he added, when she looked even more appalled.
"She will poke her head in here and head straight for the front door," she predicted.
He frowned. "Nonsense," he said, but then, "You think so? Very well, I'll make it worth her while to stay. But if you don't like this cook, please don't let her go until you have a replacement ready to take over-that is, unless you can cook. As for your other servants, they will be showing up this week for you to interview." "So I am to stay here?" "Don't you like it?"
He looked so disappointed, she was very quick to reassure him, "Of course I like it, I just wasn't sure this was where you were putting me." "Gad, didn't I mention that? No? Well, I've signed a sixmonth lease, which can be easily extended. So if there's something you don't like, any of the furniture or whatever, we can change it. This will be your home, Kelsey. I want you to feel comfortable in it."
She blushed slightly at the permanence of that statement and how it related to their relationship-which had yet to really start. "That's very kind of you. I'm sure I will be most comfortable here." "Excellent. Now, shall we partake of this meager fare mi the dining room, where it's not so cluttered?"
She smiled and left the kitchen. The dining room was very cheerful at that time of day, catching the early sun, which hadn't disappeared yet under a bank of clouds, a rare occurrence that time of year. "How many servants am I to hire?" she asked as she took a seat across from him and poured their tea. "As many as you need." "Will you be paying their wages, or do you wish me to see to that?" "Hmmm, hadn't thought of that. I suppose it will be easiest if I just leave you an allowance for the household, as well as for yourself. And by the by, as soon as you're feeling up to it, we need to take you shopping. You can't have very many clothes stuffed into that small valise of yours."
She supposed she could save him the cost of that by sending for the rest of her own wardrobe. But how would she explain that to Aunt Elizabeth, when she was supposed to only be visiting her friend in Kettering for a short time? It was bad enough that she would have to continue to invent excuses for extending her visit. Besides, her clothes likely weren't in the style of the kind he had in mind buying for her, though she sincerely hoped there wouldn't be any other atrocious red gowns.
So she said, "As you wish." "And you are feeling better this morning?" he asked somewhat hesitantly. "Fever all gone?" "Yes, I'm quite well finally."
His smile suddenly turned sensual. "Excellent. Then I will leave you to your own devices today, but will return to spend this evening with you."
Kelsey could have kicked herself for not realizing why he was asking after her health. And she had no doubt at all what he meant by "spend this evening with you." She could have postponed it further with just a complaint or two. Now, blushing, she could only nod her concurrence.
THE COOK ARRIVED THAT MORNING JUST AFTER DEREK LEFT. And just with the little time that Kelsey spent with the woman, she knew they were going to get along splendidly. Alicia Whipple didn't put on airs, claimed she minded her own business, and after Kelsey got through the embarrassing part of having to explain that she would be receiving a gentleman caller in the evenings, the only polite way to put it, Alicia assured her that whomever she entertained was Kelsey's own affair and none of hers.
Her situation was a problem. She didn't doubt that there were people of the servant class who would refuse to work for someone like her, figuring they would be tarred with the same brush.
For some servants, who they worked for was a matter of pride, and working for a lord's mistress was definitely nothing to be proud about. But there would be others who wouldn't care, who just needed the work, and she would find her people from these.
A carriage and driver showed up around noon. The driver, not Derek's, informed her that he was now in her employ.
He explained where he would house the carriage and horses-the town house didn't come with its own stableand where he could be reached whenever he was needed. And that made her realize that she would need at least one footman, when she had thought she could make do with a smaller staff.
She made her first use of the carriage that afternoon. After giving it some thought, and after the sweet kiss that Derek had left her with, she decided to try to make the evening somewhat romantic, rather than the sordid affair it was. To that end, she arranged with Alicia a nice dinner with wine, and gave her ample money to supply it.
Thankfully, Derek had left her with more than that kiss. The wad of pound notes he'd handed her had added up to nearly one hundred, and he had merely said, "This should tide you over for a bit." Indeed. Large households could be run on much less, and her household was small.
She left Alicia to shop for the food, but she did some shopping of her own. It took quite a while to find what she was looking for, because she wasn't familiar with London. Finally, she'd had to explain her needs to the driverl She did finally find a shop that supplied negligees of the fancy sortor rather, her driver did. And although she'd never owned anything even remotely similar-her sleeping gowns were all of the warm, serviceable kind-the woman who sold her the ensemble, which came with a matching robe and slippers, assured her that all new brides were wearing negligees on their wedding nights these days.
Whether that was true, or whether the woman had sensed Kelsey's hesitancy and had just been determined to make the sale, she didn't know, nor did she care. The negligee was exactly what Kelsey had envisioned when she'd gone hunting for it, so she was quite satisfied with her purchase. Now, if she would just have the nerve to wear it when the time came....
Derek hadn't told her what time he would be returning that evening. She should have asked him, but not knowing wasn't too much of a problem, or at least Alicia didn't think so. The gentry were accustomed to eating at unusual hours, after all, depending on which party they were attending, and food could be kept warm.
As it happened, he arrived earlier than anticipated, just after sunset. She didn't know it, but he'd had to force himself to stay away even that long, to give her some time to herself, he was so eager to commence their relationship. And he didn't mention it, which was fortunate. She was nervous enough. Knowing that he would have preferred to take her straight up to bed would have undone her.
He was quite the gentleman, however, giving her no indication by look or word what was on his mind. And he arrived with flowers in hand-unnecessary, but very thoughtful. Arranging them helped to put Kelsey at ease during those awkward first moments.
He was dressed rather formally, but then she imagined his valet didn't let him out of the house of an evening dressed any other way. His cravat was perfectly tied, and a bit of white lace showed at the cuffs of his dark brown coat, which stretched so tautly across his wide shoulders. It was sinful, how handsome he was, and she felt so dowdy in comparison.
She had arranged her hair only a bit more fancy tonight, but it was the best she could do. She had brought no formal clothes with her, just a few day dresses for traveling and one gown, which she was wearing now, that could be used for an informal evening. But it was nothing fancy.
It was plain rose taffeta with the short puffed sleeves favored for evening wear, in the empire style, but very unsophisticated for London in that the scooped neckline wasn't the least bit low, as was fashionable. There was nothing provocative about it, no lace or fancy trims to make it a bit more elegant, but Derek still couldn't seem to keep his eyes off her.
They shared aperitifs in the parlor before dinner. Kelsey hadn't thought beyond a little wine, but Alicia had taken stock of what was in the house before going to the market, and fortunately, she'd made a few extra purchases.
Derek kept the conversation light even after they adjourned to the dining room. He mentioned a stallion that his friend Percy had bought that week that was expected to do well at the races. He spoke of his school days and told her about his best friend, Nicholas Eden, and how they'd met. Some of his family was then mentioned, at least his cousin Regina, who had married Nicholas, and his Uncle Anthony, whom he had gone to watch demolish some contender today at Knighton's Hall, whatever that was.
Fortunately, he kept the conversation going with anecdotes about himself, because there was not much she could tell him about herself without lying or giving away the truth. They had no history yet that would lend to discussions about things they had done together-nothing that wasn't disturbing in some way, at any rate.
Over dessert, he finally cleared up the mystery of what had happened in Bridgewater. "The girl I instructed to deliver the supplies to the cottage was let go." "Because she didn't deliver them?" "No, she was let go before I gave her the instructions, which is why she didn't bother to carry them out or turn them over to someone else to do. Would have been nice if she'd told me that at the time, but she didn't. She was miffed with the housekeeper for discharging her, and simply packed up her things and left." "Then I owe you an apology."
"No, you don't," he assured her. She shook her head. "Yes, I do, for thinking you were thoughtless and inconsiderate-and for tossing that note you left me in the fire and wishing it were you instead."
He stared at her incredulously for about two seconds before he burst out laughing. Kelsey blushed. She wasn't sure why she'd made that confession, except it went hand in hand with her apology, to explain it anyway.
But she had no idea why he found it so funny until he remarked, "That's quite a temper you keep under wraps. Would never guess it was there, listening to you." "I suppose I do have a bit of one, though it's rarely had occasion to be provoked," she admitted. "It runs in my family, I guess, at least on my mother's side."
Which was an understatement. In fact, folks would say her mother's temper was a bit too hot, considering she'd killed her husband during one of her tantrums, unintentionally, but final all the same.
