Second Chance Girl
Page 58
He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers. “I want you,” he breathed. “Not because of what happened before or for any other reason than I desperately, hopelessly want to be with you.” He straightened and looked into her eyes. “But it’s completely your call.”
* * *
LIFE WAS ALL about choices, Carol told herself. Little ones and big ones. Which way to turn, what college to go to, whether or not to go out with someone, study for a test or not. And sometimes there really wasn’t a choice. Perhaps a week ago, she could have been rational, could have told herself all the reasons why making love with Mathias was a bad idea. Why she might get hurt or find herself dealing with more than she could handle. Now there was no choice. She loved him and making love with him wasn’t anything she could refuse. Her body might respond to him but her heart needed him.
She took his hand in hers and led him to her bedroom. They didn’t speak until after she’d turned on the lamp by her bed and slipped off her shoes.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, reaching for her.
“I’m not.”
“You are. I’ve always thought so. Sometimes in the morning I see you walking with Millie. What do you think inspired my giraffe piece? It wasn’t just Millie. It was you.”
She’d never considered herself an inspiration. Not for anything. Oh, she worked hard, was a good friend, a lovely sister and daughter, but an inspiration? That was left for people far more special than her.
“You doubt me,” he murmured as he pressed his lips to her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. “Never doubt me.”
Words designed to shatter the last of her defenses. She gave herself over to him, accepting that whatever was going to happen, she would be stronger in the end for having allowed herself to truly love him.
He returned his mouth to hers. They kissed slowly, deeply, tongues stroking, dancing. His hands roamed her body, moving up and down her back before settling on her butt and squeezing. She arched into him and her belly brushed against his erection. Desire flared, hotter, brighter, sending shivers rippling through every part of her.
She pushed at his suit jacket. He shrugged out of it and it fell to the floor. His tie followed, then his shirt. She put her hands on his bare chest and felt the warmth of his skin. She wanted to touch him everywhere, do all the things she hadn’t been able to do before, when they’d been together last time. She’d been too caught off guard, too not ready. And he’d been too drunk.
She looked into his eyes and saw clarity there tonight. Awareness of what they were doing and how it would be. He watched her touch him, passion sharpening his features. She wondered how far she could go before he would react.
She moved her hands lower, sliding down to his belt. She unfastened it and then undid his zipper.
“While there’s nothing I would like more than you to touch me like that,” he said with a slight smile, “we’re both going to be disappointed by the outcome. And the speed of that outcome.”
She laughed. “I would have thought you would be more legendary.”
“Not when I’m with you.”
Her belly clenched. How she wanted those words to be true. How she wanted him to love her back. But the odds were slim. Still, she would take tonight and deal with the consequences later when the realization of her love wasn’t so new.
She stepped back and opened her nightstand drawer. Inside was a box of condoms. She pulled them out, then turned back to him. “I think it’s time to get serious. Just to be clear, intercourse first.”
He groaned. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you? It wasn’t my fault.”
“Regardless of fault, I’m saying what I want. Don’t get me wrong—last time was great. I just missed not having the full show.”
Emotions raced across his face. Before she could reassure him, he pulled her close and kissed her. At the same time, he reached behind her and unzipped her dress. The fabric pooled at her waist. Carol shoved it down, then stepped out of it. Mathias drew her against him as if he couldn’t have her far away, then wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder.
They stood like that for the longest time—their bodies pressing together, her breasts flat against his chest, his arms holding her tight. She ached for him but also didn’t want to let go. Being held like this—having their breathing synchronized, their heartbeats in unison, was the most intimate moment of her life. She pressed her hands flat against his back and let the warmth of him flow through her.
After a few minutes he began to kiss her again. Slowly. Deeply. As his tongue slipped inside her mouth, his hands reached for her bra. He unfastened it, then tossed it away. He moved his hands against her breasts, causing her breath to catch as he rubbed her tight, sensitive nipples.
Need grew. Not just for her release, but also for him to be inside of her. She wanted to know what that felt like—his body over hers, his arousal filling her. She wanted the heat, the friction, the growing hunger. She wanted to be able to have that memory forever.
She stepped back and pushed her panties to the floor, then pulled back the covers to her bed. By the time she’d turned back to him, he had his shoes and socks off and was pushing his pants to the floor. His briefs went with them.
She gave herself a second to enjoy the show of a very naked, extremely aroused Mathias, then slid into bed. He pulled a condom out of the box and joined her.
He tossed the condom on the bed, then reached for her. Even as he kissed her, he moved his hands up and down her body. He lingered on her breasts before slipping his fingers between her legs and finding the very core of her.
“You’re wet,” he whispered.
“Funny how it works that way.”
He smiled. “It’s nice.”
He slipped a finger inside of her. At the same time he rubbed his thumb against her clit. Tension flared and her breath caught. He quickly found a rhythm that nearly robbed her of conscious thought. Nearly.
“Stop,” she gasped. “I want you inside of me. I mean it. We can do all this other stuff later.”
“Other stuff?” He shook his head. “It’s the best part.”
“Not always.” Not when it hadn’t happened before. “Be inside of me.”
There was no way she could explain why it was so important to her. Not without admitting her feelings. Because she loved him, she needed them to bond in that way. She needed to feel him taking her. Yes, it was old-fashioned or traditional or any other number of words, but it was also important.
He studied her for a second, then nodded. He rubbed her one last time before reaching for the condom and slipping it on. After shifting so that he knelt between her thighs, he braced his hands on the bed.
She reached between them and guided him inside. He was so hard and thick, she felt herself stretching to accommodate him. He moved slowly, giving her time. Nerve endings whimpered in anticipation as every part of her focused on the thrilling pressure.
He pushed all the way in, then withdrew just as slowly. Fire shot through her. Fire and need and pleasure and relief that it was finally happening. She gave herself over to what he was doing, trying desperately to remember everything. She wanted to be able to relive this moment again and again. The only flaw in her plan was the fact that each stroke aroused her just a little more. She couldn’t seem to stay in her head—not when her body was reacting so strongly. She wrapped her legs around his hips and hung on.
* * *
LIFE WAS ALL about choices, Carol told herself. Little ones and big ones. Which way to turn, what college to go to, whether or not to go out with someone, study for a test or not. And sometimes there really wasn’t a choice. Perhaps a week ago, she could have been rational, could have told herself all the reasons why making love with Mathias was a bad idea. Why she might get hurt or find herself dealing with more than she could handle. Now there was no choice. She loved him and making love with him wasn’t anything she could refuse. Her body might respond to him but her heart needed him.
She took his hand in hers and led him to her bedroom. They didn’t speak until after she’d turned on the lamp by her bed and slipped off her shoes.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, reaching for her.
“I’m not.”
“You are. I’ve always thought so. Sometimes in the morning I see you walking with Millie. What do you think inspired my giraffe piece? It wasn’t just Millie. It was you.”
She’d never considered herself an inspiration. Not for anything. Oh, she worked hard, was a good friend, a lovely sister and daughter, but an inspiration? That was left for people far more special than her.
“You doubt me,” he murmured as he pressed his lips to her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. “Never doubt me.”
Words designed to shatter the last of her defenses. She gave herself over to him, accepting that whatever was going to happen, she would be stronger in the end for having allowed herself to truly love him.
He returned his mouth to hers. They kissed slowly, deeply, tongues stroking, dancing. His hands roamed her body, moving up and down her back before settling on her butt and squeezing. She arched into him and her belly brushed against his erection. Desire flared, hotter, brighter, sending shivers rippling through every part of her.
She pushed at his suit jacket. He shrugged out of it and it fell to the floor. His tie followed, then his shirt. She put her hands on his bare chest and felt the warmth of his skin. She wanted to touch him everywhere, do all the things she hadn’t been able to do before, when they’d been together last time. She’d been too caught off guard, too not ready. And he’d been too drunk.
She looked into his eyes and saw clarity there tonight. Awareness of what they were doing and how it would be. He watched her touch him, passion sharpening his features. She wondered how far she could go before he would react.
She moved her hands lower, sliding down to his belt. She unfastened it and then undid his zipper.
“While there’s nothing I would like more than you to touch me like that,” he said with a slight smile, “we’re both going to be disappointed by the outcome. And the speed of that outcome.”
She laughed. “I would have thought you would be more legendary.”
“Not when I’m with you.”
Her belly clenched. How she wanted those words to be true. How she wanted him to love her back. But the odds were slim. Still, she would take tonight and deal with the consequences later when the realization of her love wasn’t so new.
She stepped back and opened her nightstand drawer. Inside was a box of condoms. She pulled them out, then turned back to him. “I think it’s time to get serious. Just to be clear, intercourse first.”
He groaned. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you? It wasn’t my fault.”
“Regardless of fault, I’m saying what I want. Don’t get me wrong—last time was great. I just missed not having the full show.”
Emotions raced across his face. Before she could reassure him, he pulled her close and kissed her. At the same time, he reached behind her and unzipped her dress. The fabric pooled at her waist. Carol shoved it down, then stepped out of it. Mathias drew her against him as if he couldn’t have her far away, then wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder.
They stood like that for the longest time—their bodies pressing together, her breasts flat against his chest, his arms holding her tight. She ached for him but also didn’t want to let go. Being held like this—having their breathing synchronized, their heartbeats in unison, was the most intimate moment of her life. She pressed her hands flat against his back and let the warmth of him flow through her.
After a few minutes he began to kiss her again. Slowly. Deeply. As his tongue slipped inside her mouth, his hands reached for her bra. He unfastened it, then tossed it away. He moved his hands against her breasts, causing her breath to catch as he rubbed her tight, sensitive nipples.
Need grew. Not just for her release, but also for him to be inside of her. She wanted to know what that felt like—his body over hers, his arousal filling her. She wanted the heat, the friction, the growing hunger. She wanted to be able to have that memory forever.
She stepped back and pushed her panties to the floor, then pulled back the covers to her bed. By the time she’d turned back to him, he had his shoes and socks off and was pushing his pants to the floor. His briefs went with them.
She gave herself a second to enjoy the show of a very naked, extremely aroused Mathias, then slid into bed. He pulled a condom out of the box and joined her.
He tossed the condom on the bed, then reached for her. Even as he kissed her, he moved his hands up and down her body. He lingered on her breasts before slipping his fingers between her legs and finding the very core of her.
“You’re wet,” he whispered.
“Funny how it works that way.”
He smiled. “It’s nice.”
He slipped a finger inside of her. At the same time he rubbed his thumb against her clit. Tension flared and her breath caught. He quickly found a rhythm that nearly robbed her of conscious thought. Nearly.
“Stop,” she gasped. “I want you inside of me. I mean it. We can do all this other stuff later.”
“Other stuff?” He shook his head. “It’s the best part.”
“Not always.” Not when it hadn’t happened before. “Be inside of me.”
There was no way she could explain why it was so important to her. Not without admitting her feelings. Because she loved him, she needed them to bond in that way. She needed to feel him taking her. Yes, it was old-fashioned or traditional or any other number of words, but it was also important.
He studied her for a second, then nodded. He rubbed her one last time before reaching for the condom and slipping it on. After shifting so that he knelt between her thighs, he braced his hands on the bed.
She reached between them and guided him inside. He was so hard and thick, she felt herself stretching to accommodate him. He moved slowly, giving her time. Nerve endings whimpered in anticipation as every part of her focused on the thrilling pressure.
He pushed all the way in, then withdrew just as slowly. Fire shot through her. Fire and need and pleasure and relief that it was finally happening. She gave herself over to what he was doing, trying desperately to remember everything. She wanted to be able to relive this moment again and again. The only flaw in her plan was the fact that each stroke aroused her just a little more. She couldn’t seem to stay in her head—not when her body was reacting so strongly. She wrapped her legs around his hips and hung on.
