Second Chance Girl
Page 66
She’d already circled the block, checking for Mathias’s Mercedes. It wasn’t there. As the star of the show, he would wait to show up until the evening started. It was just going to be her and Atsuko. There was no reason to worry. Not that her stomach was listening.
She got out of her Jeep and went into the gallery. The main room was empty and relatively dark. She looked around, trying to get her bearings.
Once again the display cases had been rearranged. Most of them were gone. The few that remained were filled with examples of his everyday work. Dishes and vases and bowls. There was a collection of his more whimsical pieces and samples of his new Millie-inspired dishes.
Atsuko appeared from the shadows and smiled. “Carol. You made it. I’m so glad. Just give me a second to put the lights on.”
She walked to the wall and played with the switches. For a second the gallery went completely dark, then three overhead lights came on in the center of the room, illuminating a low pedestal and the piece sitting on it.
Carol stared, unable to move or breathe. Tears filled her eyes and her throat tightened. What had he done?
The glass statue was in two parts. There was a beautiful Millie about three times the size of the one Mathias had given her. The features were all there, the markings, the essence of movement. Millie bent her long neck, as if to touch the woman standing in front of her. A woman who looked so familiar.
Somehow Carol found herself standing right next to the piece, even though she couldn’t remember walking toward it. She stared at the face, at the clothing and recognized herself. She was reaching up to Millie as Millie leaned down. They were connected—two different species bound by trust and affection.
How had he done this? And when? The logical side of her was in awe of his brilliance. The technique, the talent. The man was incredible and the world a better place for what he created. But the rest of her saw something else. Something more.
At first she didn’t want to believe. No, she told herself. That wasn’t true. At first she was afraid to believe. Afraid to trust what both her heart and her eyes beheld. Because the true genius of what he’d done wasn’t in the beauty, or the movement or the connection, it was in the love. His love for both his subjects radiated from the very core. It grew until the viewer had no choice but to feel it, too.
She let the warmth wash over her, chasing away fears and doubts. She’d always worried about not being special enough. She’d lived an emotional half-life because of that fear. She’d nearly lost Mathias because she hadn’t been brave enough to tell him the truth and expect the very best of him.
Emotions grew and clashed and swelled before settling into a certainty that eased her stomach and soothed her heart.
“Thank you,” she told Atsuko. “I have to go.”
She drove to Mathias’s house and ran to the front door. She tried to think of what she was going to say, but she couldn’t focus enough. Not with the truth right there. Did he know what he said with his art? Had it been a message or happenstance?
He opened the door and stared at her in surprise. “Carol?”
He had on suit pants and a white shirt. Because he was getting ready to go to his showing. Because he was a famous artist and she was just—
No. No! She wouldn’t assume, wouldn’t be less than. He loved her and she loved him and that was what mattered.
She pushed past him and walked into the living room, then turned to face him. The room was silent. Fear was there, but she ignored it as she stared into his familiar face.
He looked tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. She hoped he’d missed her as much as she missed him. They belonged together and if he wasn’t ready to admit that, she was going to have to convince him.
“I get it,” she told him. “Now that I’ve spent time with your parents, I have a small understanding of what you went through as a kid. It was crazy and frightening and you were never sure what was going to happen next. All you could depend on were your brothers. You had talent, and while you wanted to be successful, you weren’t sure that was okay. Then your dad made it clear it wasn’t. You were torn between who you were and who it was safe to be. But no matter what, you had Ronan. You were a team. Then one day he was gone, too.”
Mathias stood on the edge of the living room, not moving, but not looking all that comfortable, either. He didn’t speak, didn’t respond in any way. She had no idea what he was thinking. Obviously he wasn’t going to declare himself and save her the embarrassment of possibly being wrong. Only that was a good thing. He had his demons, but she had hers, as well. She had to believe she was special enough to have what she wanted and this was her moment of reckoning.
“I get why you’ve been reluctant to trust anyone else. You don’t want to be hurt or emotionally abandoned or deceived. What is it you always say? Betrayed. You’ve been holding yourself apart, thinking that would keep you safe. Only you know what? It doesn’t work. Cutting yourself off only shrinks your world until there’s nothing left. Some people can hide who they are, but you’re not one of them.”
She took a step toward him, sucked in a breath and said out loud, “You love me.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched, but otherwise, he didn’t move.
“You love me,” she repeated. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. It’s everywhere. You were the one to get Ronan to donate a piece, you always look out for me. You’re caring and kind. You took in Sophie and yes, I know that doesn’t have anything to do with loving me, but it speaks to who you are. And it’s not just that you took care of her, it’s that you missed her when she was gone.”
She took another step toward him. “I saw the sculpture, Mathias. What you created. It’s there. Your love. I can see it and feel it. I should have known before. That’s on me. I was too caught up in not being special, so I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I’ve been a fool. Worse, I let you go. You were testing me before. Not on purpose, I don’t think, but because you had to be sure and I let you down.”
She smiled at him. “I always thought love was about being worthy, but it’s not. It’s about being willing to be loved and to love in return. I love you, Mathias. I have for a long time. We belong together and if you need me to keep proving that, I will.”
She stopped talking and waited for him to say something. Fear flickered, but she pushed it away. She had total faith in both herself and him. That was how this was going to work. There was no room for doubt—not anymore.
The seconds ticked on. Finally the tension left his body and one eyebrow rose.
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not. I love you, Mathias. If you need some time to—”
She never got to finish her sentence because he pulled her close and claimed her with a kiss that told her everything she wanted to know. He wrapped his arms around her and held on as if he would never let go.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathed. “I’m sorry I didn’t get it before. You’re right. I do love you.”
She smiled. “That’s a relief.”
He chuckled. “When did you go see the piece?”
“Atsuko had me stop by just now. The second I saw it I realized what you were saying.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve been an idiot. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.”
She got out of her Jeep and went into the gallery. The main room was empty and relatively dark. She looked around, trying to get her bearings.
Once again the display cases had been rearranged. Most of them were gone. The few that remained were filled with examples of his everyday work. Dishes and vases and bowls. There was a collection of his more whimsical pieces and samples of his new Millie-inspired dishes.
Atsuko appeared from the shadows and smiled. “Carol. You made it. I’m so glad. Just give me a second to put the lights on.”
She walked to the wall and played with the switches. For a second the gallery went completely dark, then three overhead lights came on in the center of the room, illuminating a low pedestal and the piece sitting on it.
Carol stared, unable to move or breathe. Tears filled her eyes and her throat tightened. What had he done?
The glass statue was in two parts. There was a beautiful Millie about three times the size of the one Mathias had given her. The features were all there, the markings, the essence of movement. Millie bent her long neck, as if to touch the woman standing in front of her. A woman who looked so familiar.
Somehow Carol found herself standing right next to the piece, even though she couldn’t remember walking toward it. She stared at the face, at the clothing and recognized herself. She was reaching up to Millie as Millie leaned down. They were connected—two different species bound by trust and affection.
How had he done this? And when? The logical side of her was in awe of his brilliance. The technique, the talent. The man was incredible and the world a better place for what he created. But the rest of her saw something else. Something more.
At first she didn’t want to believe. No, she told herself. That wasn’t true. At first she was afraid to believe. Afraid to trust what both her heart and her eyes beheld. Because the true genius of what he’d done wasn’t in the beauty, or the movement or the connection, it was in the love. His love for both his subjects radiated from the very core. It grew until the viewer had no choice but to feel it, too.
She let the warmth wash over her, chasing away fears and doubts. She’d always worried about not being special enough. She’d lived an emotional half-life because of that fear. She’d nearly lost Mathias because she hadn’t been brave enough to tell him the truth and expect the very best of him.
Emotions grew and clashed and swelled before settling into a certainty that eased her stomach and soothed her heart.
“Thank you,” she told Atsuko. “I have to go.”
She drove to Mathias’s house and ran to the front door. She tried to think of what she was going to say, but she couldn’t focus enough. Not with the truth right there. Did he know what he said with his art? Had it been a message or happenstance?
He opened the door and stared at her in surprise. “Carol?”
He had on suit pants and a white shirt. Because he was getting ready to go to his showing. Because he was a famous artist and she was just—
No. No! She wouldn’t assume, wouldn’t be less than. He loved her and she loved him and that was what mattered.
She pushed past him and walked into the living room, then turned to face him. The room was silent. Fear was there, but she ignored it as she stared into his familiar face.
He looked tired, as if he hadn’t been sleeping. She hoped he’d missed her as much as she missed him. They belonged together and if he wasn’t ready to admit that, she was going to have to convince him.
“I get it,” she told him. “Now that I’ve spent time with your parents, I have a small understanding of what you went through as a kid. It was crazy and frightening and you were never sure what was going to happen next. All you could depend on were your brothers. You had talent, and while you wanted to be successful, you weren’t sure that was okay. Then your dad made it clear it wasn’t. You were torn between who you were and who it was safe to be. But no matter what, you had Ronan. You were a team. Then one day he was gone, too.”
Mathias stood on the edge of the living room, not moving, but not looking all that comfortable, either. He didn’t speak, didn’t respond in any way. She had no idea what he was thinking. Obviously he wasn’t going to declare himself and save her the embarrassment of possibly being wrong. Only that was a good thing. He had his demons, but she had hers, as well. She had to believe she was special enough to have what she wanted and this was her moment of reckoning.
“I get why you’ve been reluctant to trust anyone else. You don’t want to be hurt or emotionally abandoned or deceived. What is it you always say? Betrayed. You’ve been holding yourself apart, thinking that would keep you safe. Only you know what? It doesn’t work. Cutting yourself off only shrinks your world until there’s nothing left. Some people can hide who they are, but you’re not one of them.”
She took a step toward him, sucked in a breath and said out loud, “You love me.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched, but otherwise, he didn’t move.
“You love me,” she repeated. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it before. It’s everywhere. You were the one to get Ronan to donate a piece, you always look out for me. You’re caring and kind. You took in Sophie and yes, I know that doesn’t have anything to do with loving me, but it speaks to who you are. And it’s not just that you took care of her, it’s that you missed her when she was gone.”
She took another step toward him. “I saw the sculpture, Mathias. What you created. It’s there. Your love. I can see it and feel it. I should have known before. That’s on me. I was too caught up in not being special, so I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I’ve been a fool. Worse, I let you go. You were testing me before. Not on purpose, I don’t think, but because you had to be sure and I let you down.”
She smiled at him. “I always thought love was about being worthy, but it’s not. It’s about being willing to be loved and to love in return. I love you, Mathias. I have for a long time. We belong together and if you need me to keep proving that, I will.”
She stopped talking and waited for him to say something. Fear flickered, but she pushed it away. She had total faith in both herself and him. That was how this was going to work. There was no room for doubt—not anymore.
The seconds ticked on. Finally the tension left his body and one eyebrow rose.
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not. I love you, Mathias. If you need some time to—”
She never got to finish her sentence because he pulled her close and claimed her with a kiss that told her everything she wanted to know. He wrapped his arms around her and held on as if he would never let go.
“I’ve missed you,” he breathed. “I’m sorry I didn’t get it before. You’re right. I do love you.”
She smiled. “That’s a relief.”
He chuckled. “When did you go see the piece?”
“Atsuko had me stop by just now. The second I saw it I realized what you were saying.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve been an idiot. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me.”
