Second Debt
Page 5
He didn’t look at me any differently; he gave no outward sign that his lies had begun to unravel. As much as he confounded and frustrated me, I couldn’t help admiring his perfection at hiding.
I wanted to be like him. I wanted to protect my secrets so damn well that whatever I did next would come as a surprise.
I wanted to rule him.
“I’m coming with you. Don’t leave.” He disappeared into the house, leaving me abandoned and covered in chills from both the morning air and his departure.
Jogging on the spot, I deliberated ignoring him and leaving.
Just go.
What was the worst that could happen? He’d have to chase me again. My tummy coiled at the thought. I liked that idea way too much. I liked the thought of what would happen after he found me.
The power I’d felt giving him that blowjob. The awe and attraction that’d glowed in his eyes.
I want that again.
Screw waiting like a good little captive.
Make him hunt.
And then I would make him explode.
I bolted.
OF COURSE, SHE ran.
I fully expected her to.
Unlike last time when I expected her to cower by my feet, I’d had the last month to get to know my charge. Through getting into her mind via text messages, and getting into her body by sheer insane passion, I’d come to understand her—more than she knew.
And unfortunately for her, she’d lost the ability to surprise me.
She’d lost the ability because I’d been inside her body and mind. I’d traded my soul for hers—no matter how much she would deny it. No matter how much I would deny it. We were linked.
Connected.
Bound.
Somehow, she’d crept inside my barricaded heart. She’d weakened me—but that weakness worked both ways.
I felt her. I heard her fears, tasted her tears, and somehow knew how she would react.
I hadn’t permitted anyone to have that control over me since Jasmine. Even Kes and I didn’t share such a strong connection.
That strange bond had a name.
I called it my disease.
And it only got worse the more I was around Nila.
I craved her so intensely; I would break both of us before any more debts were paid.
I didn’t think she believed me when I said we were well and truly fucked. And not just because of my father and what he would do. But because of what I was.
Because of my…condition.
The moment I left her on the porch, I knew she’d go. The knowledge echoed in my bones, making it fact rather than speculation.
In the time it took to jog back to my room and trade my riding attire for all-black workout gear, she’d gone.
Balling my hands in the cool morning air, I smiled. A genuine smile. It’d been forever since I’d let myself relax enough to be genuine about any emotion.
Just like empathy and compassion were banned from my repertoire, so too, was feeling something so purely that it became a spark in my dead heart. I didn’t want to be genuine about anything because it could be used against me.
It was best to hate everything and everyone. To hide my true desires even from myself.
The anticipation of another hunt sent my blood flowing thick and hot.
Her tiny footprints led a trail, like enticing crumbs. The dew-damp grass flattened from her path.
I’m coming, Nila.
Just like before, I took off after my prey. But the difference between this chase and the previous one was I knew she wanted me to hunt her. I knew she wanted to be found. And I knew she fed off this cat and mouse idiocy as much as I did.
My legs spread into a large stride as I left the Hall behind.
I preferred to perch on the back of Wings when galloping fast and far. I wasn’t a jogger. It wasn’t quick enough for me. I missed the power of a large beast between my legs, responding to the commands to race and outrun everything that I was.
Every footfall caused me to wince from what I’d done to myself in my last ‘fixing’ session. The pain radiated up my legs. I supposed I should be grateful for the agony—it helped me in so many ways. And I needed all the help I could get with Nila wreaking havoc on my world.
You know it’s no longer working, so why still do it?
That was true.
Pain no longer held the comfort or fortress it used to. Jasmine was right. It was time to start looking at other methods, or, if I was brave enough, let everything that I’d been hiding emerge.
I snorted at the reaction that would get me. Not to mention the complications with my father.
No, I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Besides, I had more important things on my mind.
Such as hunting.
Leaping over the rock wall and tearing down the path, I put my head down and ran after my little Weaver.
A pitiful six minutes later, I gained on her.
Her stride and pace were impressive, and I had to appreciate her wily ways of trying to throw me off her trail by cutting across the driveway and disappearing into the woods on the other side.
But I was an experienced hunter.
Her clues littered behind her, leading me directly to my prey.
Her hair bounced, tendrils coming loose from her hair-tie. Her sculptured legs led to the firmest arse I’d ever seen.
My mouth watered.
I wanted to bite it. Bite her. Lick her. Fuck her.
“This seems all too familiar,” I muttered, pulling up beside her with a burst of speed.
She jumped, clutching her heart. “Shit, I didn’t hear you creeping behind me.”
“Creeping? I did nothing of the sort.”
She rolled her eyes, settling back into the punishing pace she’d set. I matched my stride to hers. Companionable silence fell as my attention turned inward again, focusing on the agony in my feet.
I wanted to be like him. I wanted to protect my secrets so damn well that whatever I did next would come as a surprise.
I wanted to rule him.
“I’m coming with you. Don’t leave.” He disappeared into the house, leaving me abandoned and covered in chills from both the morning air and his departure.
Jogging on the spot, I deliberated ignoring him and leaving.
Just go.
What was the worst that could happen? He’d have to chase me again. My tummy coiled at the thought. I liked that idea way too much. I liked the thought of what would happen after he found me.
The power I’d felt giving him that blowjob. The awe and attraction that’d glowed in his eyes.
I want that again.
Screw waiting like a good little captive.
Make him hunt.
And then I would make him explode.
I bolted.
OF COURSE, SHE ran.
I fully expected her to.
Unlike last time when I expected her to cower by my feet, I’d had the last month to get to know my charge. Through getting into her mind via text messages, and getting into her body by sheer insane passion, I’d come to understand her—more than she knew.
And unfortunately for her, she’d lost the ability to surprise me.
She’d lost the ability because I’d been inside her body and mind. I’d traded my soul for hers—no matter how much she would deny it. No matter how much I would deny it. We were linked.
Connected.
Bound.
Somehow, she’d crept inside my barricaded heart. She’d weakened me—but that weakness worked both ways.
I felt her. I heard her fears, tasted her tears, and somehow knew how she would react.
I hadn’t permitted anyone to have that control over me since Jasmine. Even Kes and I didn’t share such a strong connection.
That strange bond had a name.
I called it my disease.
And it only got worse the more I was around Nila.
I craved her so intensely; I would break both of us before any more debts were paid.
I didn’t think she believed me when I said we were well and truly fucked. And not just because of my father and what he would do. But because of what I was.
Because of my…condition.
The moment I left her on the porch, I knew she’d go. The knowledge echoed in my bones, making it fact rather than speculation.
In the time it took to jog back to my room and trade my riding attire for all-black workout gear, she’d gone.
Balling my hands in the cool morning air, I smiled. A genuine smile. It’d been forever since I’d let myself relax enough to be genuine about any emotion.
Just like empathy and compassion were banned from my repertoire, so too, was feeling something so purely that it became a spark in my dead heart. I didn’t want to be genuine about anything because it could be used against me.
It was best to hate everything and everyone. To hide my true desires even from myself.
The anticipation of another hunt sent my blood flowing thick and hot.
Her tiny footprints led a trail, like enticing crumbs. The dew-damp grass flattened from her path.
I’m coming, Nila.
Just like before, I took off after my prey. But the difference between this chase and the previous one was I knew she wanted me to hunt her. I knew she wanted to be found. And I knew she fed off this cat and mouse idiocy as much as I did.
My legs spread into a large stride as I left the Hall behind.
I preferred to perch on the back of Wings when galloping fast and far. I wasn’t a jogger. It wasn’t quick enough for me. I missed the power of a large beast between my legs, responding to the commands to race and outrun everything that I was.
Every footfall caused me to wince from what I’d done to myself in my last ‘fixing’ session. The pain radiated up my legs. I supposed I should be grateful for the agony—it helped me in so many ways. And I needed all the help I could get with Nila wreaking havoc on my world.
You know it’s no longer working, so why still do it?
That was true.
Pain no longer held the comfort or fortress it used to. Jasmine was right. It was time to start looking at other methods, or, if I was brave enough, let everything that I’d been hiding emerge.
I snorted at the reaction that would get me. Not to mention the complications with my father.
No, I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Besides, I had more important things on my mind.
Such as hunting.
Leaping over the rock wall and tearing down the path, I put my head down and ran after my little Weaver.
A pitiful six minutes later, I gained on her.
Her stride and pace were impressive, and I had to appreciate her wily ways of trying to throw me off her trail by cutting across the driveway and disappearing into the woods on the other side.
But I was an experienced hunter.
Her clues littered behind her, leading me directly to my prey.
Her hair bounced, tendrils coming loose from her hair-tie. Her sculptured legs led to the firmest arse I’d ever seen.
My mouth watered.
I wanted to bite it. Bite her. Lick her. Fuck her.
“This seems all too familiar,” I muttered, pulling up beside her with a burst of speed.
She jumped, clutching her heart. “Shit, I didn’t hear you creeping behind me.”
“Creeping? I did nothing of the sort.”
She rolled her eyes, settling back into the punishing pace she’d set. I matched my stride to hers. Companionable silence fell as my attention turned inward again, focusing on the agony in my feet.
