Secret
Page 57
“Oh. Oh, shit. I am—I’m going—I’m sorry—”
He slammed the door. Nick heard his footsteps on the stairs as he jogged down.
“Fuck,” said Nick. He sat up and pressed his hands into his eyes. He was shaking and he couldn’t stop. His emotions couldn’t handle the abrupt one-eighty. Part of him wanted to cry and another part wanted to punch something. “Fuck. ”
Adam’s hands touched his shoulders. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. He’ll tell—I can’t—” His voice broke.
Hunter would tell Gabriel. He might be telling him right now. Nick could imagine the text messages. Dude. Just found your brother with another guy. No, seriously.
Nick choked on his breath. The heat in the room was turning into a bitter chill. He shivered.
Adam’s arms came around him from behind, holding him.
“It’ll be okay.” He brushed a kiss against Nick’s hair. “I promise. It’ll be—”
Nick jerked free and hit him in the chest, shoving him away with a force driven by rage and fear. “It is not okay!”
As soon as he did it, he regretted it. With the light on, he could see every ounce of hurt in Adam’s eyes. Every ounce of disappointment.
Every ounce of anger.
Nick took a breath. “I’m sorry. Adam—wait.”
But Adam was already pulling his shirt on, shoving his phone into his pocket, heading for the door.
Nick went after him, catching his arm. “Please,” he said.
“I’m sorry.”
Adam stopped, but he didn’t look at him. “Let me go, Nick.”
“I don’t want to.” He paused and moved closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I wasn’t ready for that—”
“You know what?” Adam looked at him now. “I’ve heard it before, okay?”
Nick jerked back. “I would never hurt you.”
“Too late.” Adam pulled the door open and kept his voice low. “Let me go. Now.”
Nick couldn’t take the pain in his voice. He’d build a rainbow banner in the front hall announcing his sexuality if it would fix this. “Please. Adam, stay. Please.”
Now Adam turned and shoved him away, dislodging Nick’s grip. “I told you to let me go.” He didn’t wait for a response, just walked out the door.
Nick followed, buttoning his pants as he jogged down the steps after him. He had no shoes, no shirt, but he was ready to follow Adam down the street barefoot if he had to.
“Stop,” he pleaded. “Wait—wait. At least let me walk you to the bus stop.”
“I’m not a girl, Nick.” Adam didn’t even hesitate at the front door.
“Please wait. Please—I’m sorry.”
Adam rounded on him on the porch. His eyes were shining in the light. “You know what sucks about sorry? It’s the worst word in the world. Because it always happens after you f**k up something good.”
Then he turned and started walking. Nick went after him again. Wind whipped between them, whispering of Adam’s fury.
Adam whirled. “Don’t you follow me. I don’t want you near me right now. Do you understand? You’re so worried about what everyone else will think? I’ll make it real easy for you.”
“Stop it. Let’s talk about this.”
“What’s to talk about? You care more about what people think than you care about me. Crystal clear. Message received.”
He started walking again.
Nick took a step, but Adam called over his shoulder. “You follow me, and I’m calling the cops.”
He was serious. Nick could feel it in the air between them.
He could also tell that Adam was crying.
It broke his heart and almost sent him running down the driveway.
Instead, he dropped onto the wooden steps and watched Adam walk, casting his senses far and wide, feeling Adam’s presence even after he disappeared from view. He stayed there, holding on to that tiny connection, until Adam stepped out of range or got on a bus.
Nick lost the sense. Adam was gone.
CHAPTER 19
Nick eventually had to go back in the house.
Hunter was messing around in the kitchen. Nick had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t want to face him, but his stomach was in knots wondering if Hunter had texted anything to his brothers. Sitting in his room waiting for them to come home was a little too much like sitting on death row.
He found his shirt on his bedroom floor and went back downstairs.
But once he was there, he couldn’t walk down the hallway.
He sat at the bottom of the steps and put his head in his hands.
He didn’t want to cry, but apparently his emotions didn’t give a crap about what he wanted.
He’d f**ked this up with Adam. He didn’t even know how to fix it.
He didn’t even know if he could.
You’re going to break my heart. I can feel it.
Yeah, he’d sure lived up to that.
He wished he could talk to Quinn, but he’d f**ked that up, too.
The air told him Hunter was in the hallway before he heard him.
Nice. Why couldn’t the air have told him Hunter was coming into his frigging bedroom?
You might’ve been distracted by Adam’s hand down your pants.
Nick couldn’t look at Hunter. He swiped the last tears off his cheeks. This was so humiliating. All he needed now was for Gabriel to walk through the door.
He slammed the door. Nick heard his footsteps on the stairs as he jogged down.
“Fuck,” said Nick. He sat up and pressed his hands into his eyes. He was shaking and he couldn’t stop. His emotions couldn’t handle the abrupt one-eighty. Part of him wanted to cry and another part wanted to punch something. “Fuck. ”
Adam’s hands touched his shoulders. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. He’ll tell—I can’t—” His voice broke.
Hunter would tell Gabriel. He might be telling him right now. Nick could imagine the text messages. Dude. Just found your brother with another guy. No, seriously.
Nick choked on his breath. The heat in the room was turning into a bitter chill. He shivered.
Adam’s arms came around him from behind, holding him.
“It’ll be okay.” He brushed a kiss against Nick’s hair. “I promise. It’ll be—”
Nick jerked free and hit him in the chest, shoving him away with a force driven by rage and fear. “It is not okay!”
As soon as he did it, he regretted it. With the light on, he could see every ounce of hurt in Adam’s eyes. Every ounce of disappointment.
Every ounce of anger.
Nick took a breath. “I’m sorry. Adam—wait.”
But Adam was already pulling his shirt on, shoving his phone into his pocket, heading for the door.
Nick went after him, catching his arm. “Please,” he said.
“I’m sorry.”
Adam stopped, but he didn’t look at him. “Let me go, Nick.”
“I don’t want to.” He paused and moved closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I wasn’t ready for that—”
“You know what?” Adam looked at him now. “I’ve heard it before, okay?”
Nick jerked back. “I would never hurt you.”
“Too late.” Adam pulled the door open and kept his voice low. “Let me go. Now.”
Nick couldn’t take the pain in his voice. He’d build a rainbow banner in the front hall announcing his sexuality if it would fix this. “Please. Adam, stay. Please.”
Now Adam turned and shoved him away, dislodging Nick’s grip. “I told you to let me go.” He didn’t wait for a response, just walked out the door.
Nick followed, buttoning his pants as he jogged down the steps after him. He had no shoes, no shirt, but he was ready to follow Adam down the street barefoot if he had to.
“Stop,” he pleaded. “Wait—wait. At least let me walk you to the bus stop.”
“I’m not a girl, Nick.” Adam didn’t even hesitate at the front door.
“Please wait. Please—I’m sorry.”
Adam rounded on him on the porch. His eyes were shining in the light. “You know what sucks about sorry? It’s the worst word in the world. Because it always happens after you f**k up something good.”
Then he turned and started walking. Nick went after him again. Wind whipped between them, whispering of Adam’s fury.
Adam whirled. “Don’t you follow me. I don’t want you near me right now. Do you understand? You’re so worried about what everyone else will think? I’ll make it real easy for you.”
“Stop it. Let’s talk about this.”
“What’s to talk about? You care more about what people think than you care about me. Crystal clear. Message received.”
He started walking again.
Nick took a step, but Adam called over his shoulder. “You follow me, and I’m calling the cops.”
He was serious. Nick could feel it in the air between them.
He could also tell that Adam was crying.
It broke his heart and almost sent him running down the driveway.
Instead, he dropped onto the wooden steps and watched Adam walk, casting his senses far and wide, feeling Adam’s presence even after he disappeared from view. He stayed there, holding on to that tiny connection, until Adam stepped out of range or got on a bus.
Nick lost the sense. Adam was gone.
CHAPTER 19
Nick eventually had to go back in the house.
Hunter was messing around in the kitchen. Nick had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t want to face him, but his stomach was in knots wondering if Hunter had texted anything to his brothers. Sitting in his room waiting for them to come home was a little too much like sitting on death row.
He found his shirt on his bedroom floor and went back downstairs.
But once he was there, he couldn’t walk down the hallway.
He sat at the bottom of the steps and put his head in his hands.
He didn’t want to cry, but apparently his emotions didn’t give a crap about what he wanted.
He’d f**ked this up with Adam. He didn’t even know how to fix it.
He didn’t even know if he could.
You’re going to break my heart. I can feel it.
Yeah, he’d sure lived up to that.
He wished he could talk to Quinn, but he’d f**ked that up, too.
The air told him Hunter was in the hallway before he heard him.
Nice. Why couldn’t the air have told him Hunter was coming into his frigging bedroom?
You might’ve been distracted by Adam’s hand down your pants.
Nick couldn’t look at Hunter. He swiped the last tears off his cheeks. This was so humiliating. All he needed now was for Gabriel to walk through the door.
