Secret
Page 71
When he spoke, his voice was rough and angry. “I hated them before, but now—” He gritted his teeth. “I hate that he’s using you, Quinn.”
“He’s not using me,” she said quietly. “It’s—it’s an illusion.
I’m not doing anything for him. And he’s my friend. I hate that you got into it with him.”
“If he’s your friend, he should be protecting you.”
She flung the cotton in the trash. “I can take care of myself.”
“How? By clinging to any guy who will give you a second glance?”
“Fuck you.” She swung a fist to punch him in the chest.
He caught her wrist and, when she fought, wrestled her back against the wall. She glared up at him, breathing heavy, seething with anger.
He got right in her face. “Get as mad as you want, baby girl.
You know it’s true.”
She hated him. Hated him.
She would not cry. Would not.
He held her there. “You sure do make it tough to help you.
I’m almost inclined to give Merrick a free pass.”
“At least he doesn’t treat me like this.”
“Like what? It’s okay for you to punch me, but when I stop you, I’m the ass**le? Is that part of your screwed-up morality?”
Quinn didn’t have anything to say to that.
Tyler kept going. “You keep acting like I’m hurting you because I don’t want to sleep with you. Guess what, sweetheart. I don’t want to sleep with someone who keeps acting like it’s a form of payment.”
She flinched hard, unable to swallow past the sudden lump in her throat.
“Do you even like me?” he said. “Or did I just show up at the right time?”
That made her sag under the tension of his hands. She looked away from him, clenching her jaw against tears and speech. Her hair fell across her face, and she studied the bathroom tile.
“I’ve never lied to you,” said Tyler. “I’m not going to start now, okay?”
She had no idea where this was going. It sounded like a prelude to him kicking her ass out of his apartment.
But then he said, “I’ve liked you since the day you went off on me in Merrick’s driveway. I like that you aren’t afraid of me.
I like that you don’t seem to be afraid of anything. I like that you’re driven, that you dance in the middle of the woods when you have nowhere else. I like that you’ve been through hell with your family, and you’re still willing to come up kicking.”
Quinn peeked at him through the fall of hair.
“You know what I hate?” he said evenly. “I hate that you’re too stubborn to ask anyone for help, even though you damn sure need it. I hate when someone tries to help and you do everything you can to make them wash their hands of you. But the absolute worst thing, the thing that I can’t f**king stand, is how you’re this beautiful, talented girl, but for some reason you act like you need to buy a guy’s favor.”
Tears were running down her cheeks now. “I don’t do that. I don’t.”
“You do, Quinn.” His hands softened on her wrists. “You do it with me, and you did it with Merrick.”
“I never did anything with Nick.”
“Are you kidding me? You pretended to be his girlfriend!
You were so desperate to be attached to a guy that you latched on to one who doesn’t even like girls. ”
“I was helping him,” she cried. “Because he was my friend.”
“No, you were afraid to let him go,” said Tyler. “Because you were afraid to give someone a chance to like you for real.”
She needed him to stop talking. She needed to stop crying.
She needed out. To get out. Of here. Right now.
But her limbs felt too weak, like she couldn’t hold herself up.
“I get it,” said Tyler. “I’ve seen your family. The people who should love you, don’t. I just—you’re worth more than that. I wish you could see that.”
“Have you been studying for your Psych one-oh-one final or something?” she said, trying for anger, but her voice came out defeated. “Why don’t you leave me alone.”
He sighed and let her go. Quinn didn’t move.
Tyler ran a hand through his blond hair. “Are you hungry?”
Quinn glanced up at him. After a long minute, she nodded.
“Feel like Chinese?”
“Okay.” Her voice sounded broken.
His cell phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket to glance at the display. He sighed again, heavily. “Damn it. One of the alarms is going off at the strip mall. I need to go check it out.” He hesitated. “Are you going to be okay for half an hour?
I’ll bring food back with me.”
No. She wouldn’t be okay.
But Quinn nodded. What else could she do?
“Come on,” he said. “I can’t just leave you collapsed on the floor of the bathroom.”
She wiped the tears off her face and flopped on the couch instead.
He hesitated at the door. “I’m not going to come home and find you gone, am I?”
She shook her head. Where else would she go?
Then he was gone, and it took everything she had not to call him back.
His voice reverberated through her head.
You’re this beautiful, talented girl, but for some reason you act like you need to buy a guy’s favor.
“He’s not using me,” she said quietly. “It’s—it’s an illusion.
I’m not doing anything for him. And he’s my friend. I hate that you got into it with him.”
“If he’s your friend, he should be protecting you.”
She flung the cotton in the trash. “I can take care of myself.”
“How? By clinging to any guy who will give you a second glance?”
“Fuck you.” She swung a fist to punch him in the chest.
He caught her wrist and, when she fought, wrestled her back against the wall. She glared up at him, breathing heavy, seething with anger.
He got right in her face. “Get as mad as you want, baby girl.
You know it’s true.”
She hated him. Hated him.
She would not cry. Would not.
He held her there. “You sure do make it tough to help you.
I’m almost inclined to give Merrick a free pass.”
“At least he doesn’t treat me like this.”
“Like what? It’s okay for you to punch me, but when I stop you, I’m the ass**le? Is that part of your screwed-up morality?”
Quinn didn’t have anything to say to that.
Tyler kept going. “You keep acting like I’m hurting you because I don’t want to sleep with you. Guess what, sweetheart. I don’t want to sleep with someone who keeps acting like it’s a form of payment.”
She flinched hard, unable to swallow past the sudden lump in her throat.
“Do you even like me?” he said. “Or did I just show up at the right time?”
That made her sag under the tension of his hands. She looked away from him, clenching her jaw against tears and speech. Her hair fell across her face, and she studied the bathroom tile.
“I’ve never lied to you,” said Tyler. “I’m not going to start now, okay?”
She had no idea where this was going. It sounded like a prelude to him kicking her ass out of his apartment.
But then he said, “I’ve liked you since the day you went off on me in Merrick’s driveway. I like that you aren’t afraid of me.
I like that you don’t seem to be afraid of anything. I like that you’re driven, that you dance in the middle of the woods when you have nowhere else. I like that you’ve been through hell with your family, and you’re still willing to come up kicking.”
Quinn peeked at him through the fall of hair.
“You know what I hate?” he said evenly. “I hate that you’re too stubborn to ask anyone for help, even though you damn sure need it. I hate when someone tries to help and you do everything you can to make them wash their hands of you. But the absolute worst thing, the thing that I can’t f**king stand, is how you’re this beautiful, talented girl, but for some reason you act like you need to buy a guy’s favor.”
Tears were running down her cheeks now. “I don’t do that. I don’t.”
“You do, Quinn.” His hands softened on her wrists. “You do it with me, and you did it with Merrick.”
“I never did anything with Nick.”
“Are you kidding me? You pretended to be his girlfriend!
You were so desperate to be attached to a guy that you latched on to one who doesn’t even like girls. ”
“I was helping him,” she cried. “Because he was my friend.”
“No, you were afraid to let him go,” said Tyler. “Because you were afraid to give someone a chance to like you for real.”
She needed him to stop talking. She needed to stop crying.
She needed out. To get out. Of here. Right now.
But her limbs felt too weak, like she couldn’t hold herself up.
“I get it,” said Tyler. “I’ve seen your family. The people who should love you, don’t. I just—you’re worth more than that. I wish you could see that.”
“Have you been studying for your Psych one-oh-one final or something?” she said, trying for anger, but her voice came out defeated. “Why don’t you leave me alone.”
He sighed and let her go. Quinn didn’t move.
Tyler ran a hand through his blond hair. “Are you hungry?”
Quinn glanced up at him. After a long minute, she nodded.
“Feel like Chinese?”
“Okay.” Her voice sounded broken.
His cell phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket to glance at the display. He sighed again, heavily. “Damn it. One of the alarms is going off at the strip mall. I need to go check it out.” He hesitated. “Are you going to be okay for half an hour?
I’ll bring food back with me.”
No. She wouldn’t be okay.
But Quinn nodded. What else could she do?
“Come on,” he said. “I can’t just leave you collapsed on the floor of the bathroom.”
She wiped the tears off her face and flopped on the couch instead.
He hesitated at the door. “I’m not going to come home and find you gone, am I?”
She shook her head. Where else would she go?
Then he was gone, and it took everything she had not to call him back.
His voice reverberated through her head.
You’re this beautiful, talented girl, but for some reason you act like you need to buy a guy’s favor.
