Secret
Page 76
This sucked.
Nick pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to see if fate had inspired Adam to send him a message.
Fate told him to go to hell. The phone was completely dead.
Either the lightning had killed the battery, or it had killed the phone completely.
Great. Nick slammed it into the center console.
The tension in the car was thicker now than when they’d first left the house. Nick’s skin crawled with it.
After a few minutes, Gabriel pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out. “Here. Use mine.”
Yeah, right. Nick shook his head.
His brother sighed and shoved it back in his pocket.
Silence again. This time, more strained than before, if that was possible. The temperature in the car dropped ten degrees.
Nick was almost shaking with the effort of sitting here calmly.
“Fuck this,” said Gabriel. He yanked the wheel abruptly, sending them careening into a parking lot along Ritchie Highway. By some miracle, they avoided striking a parked car.
“Are you insane?” Nick grabbed the handle over the door.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Parking.” Gabriel jerked the car into a parking place in front of a coffee shop. It wasn’t Starbucks, but instead a huge café with leather couches and oak tables and hot sandwiches.
Nick had brought a girl here once. After a movie or something. He couldn’t remember her name. Tonight, it was packed.
“What are we doing here?” Nick said.
Gabriel kept his eyes on the windshield. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I can’t do this, Nick. I know—” His voice caught, and he took a second to get it together before continuing. “I know I deserve it. After keeping the fires from you.
But this—this doesn’t feel like something you’re doing.” He peeked over at Nick.
Nick couldn’t move. He couldn’t even look at his brother.
“What happened last night?” Gabriel said. “When you were talking to Hunter?”
Nick’s head snapped to the side. Gabriel was referring to whatever had led to Nick looking like a hot mess on the stairs, but all Nick heard were Gabriel’s words. My brother has enough freaks pining after him.
He must have looked fierce because Gabriel put his hands up.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” Gabriel said. “Christ—I don’t even know why we are fighting.”
Nick swallowed and looked at the windshield.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Gabriel said after a minute. “I—
I wish I knew why you won’t.”
It sounded like it cost him something to say that.
“I want to tell you,” said Nick.
The words fell out of his mouth almost against his will.
And as soon as he said them, he realized how true they were.
He wanted to tell Gabriel about Adam. He told his brother everything, and now he felt more strongly about another human being than he ever had, and he couldn’t breathe a word about it.
The mental strife was choking him.
No, the terror of losing his brother was choking him.
But wasn’t he doing that anyway?
I can’t do this, Nick.
Nick couldn’t, either. He cleared his throat and nodded at the front of the café. “I probably should have picked coffee when you suggested it earlier.”
“Pick coffee now.”
Sit. Talk to me. That’s what his brother was saying.
Nick took a breath. He nodded. “Okay.”
The café had looked crowded from the parking lot, and getting up close to the front door confirmed it. Every table seemed occupied, but the line for the register wasn’t too long.
Still, someplace this packed wouldn’t exactly be conducive to the kind of discussion Nick had in mind.
Then again, Gabriel probably wouldn’t flip out in the middle of a crowd of people.
“We can come back out here to sit,” said Gabriel. “Plenty of room.”
Nick looked at him. It was barely forty-five degrees, so all the tables were deserted. But sitting in the fresh air would help—
Gabriel knew that. This was an olive branch.
“It’s not too cold?”
Gabriel dropped into one of the wire chairs in front of the restaurant. “Nah. I’ll hold the table so we don’t have to play the twin game.”
Meaning the thirty-eight thousand questions they encountered when seen in public together. Nick smiled, though it felt uncertain. “All right.”
He waited in line inside the warm bustle of the restaurant, wondering if this was an olive branch, too: Gabriel giving him time to think.
And he needed time to think.
Nerves made him jittery. What if his brother walked away?
What if he said he wasn’t okay with it?
Creepy. Freak.
Nick ran a hand through his hair and told himself to calm down.
Maybe he should lead off with Adam. So . . . I’ve met someone. It’s new, and it’s special, but . . . it’s a guy.
Maybe not.
I know you’re worried about Quinn, but we’re not really together. No, not since she caught me kissing a guy.
Ugh. This was horrible.
I’ve been lying to you for years.
Sure.
The line inched along. An older couple came in and got in line behind him.
Nick took another slow breath. Maybe this would be like it had been with Michael. Maybe it would be okay. Awkward at first, but . . . okay.
Nick pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to see if fate had inspired Adam to send him a message.
Fate told him to go to hell. The phone was completely dead.
Either the lightning had killed the battery, or it had killed the phone completely.
Great. Nick slammed it into the center console.
The tension in the car was thicker now than when they’d first left the house. Nick’s skin crawled with it.
After a few minutes, Gabriel pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out. “Here. Use mine.”
Yeah, right. Nick shook his head.
His brother sighed and shoved it back in his pocket.
Silence again. This time, more strained than before, if that was possible. The temperature in the car dropped ten degrees.
Nick was almost shaking with the effort of sitting here calmly.
“Fuck this,” said Gabriel. He yanked the wheel abruptly, sending them careening into a parking lot along Ritchie Highway. By some miracle, they avoided striking a parked car.
“Are you insane?” Nick grabbed the handle over the door.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Parking.” Gabriel jerked the car into a parking place in front of a coffee shop. It wasn’t Starbucks, but instead a huge café with leather couches and oak tables and hot sandwiches.
Nick had brought a girl here once. After a movie or something. He couldn’t remember her name. Tonight, it was packed.
“What are we doing here?” Nick said.
Gabriel kept his eyes on the windshield. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I can’t do this, Nick. I know—” His voice caught, and he took a second to get it together before continuing. “I know I deserve it. After keeping the fires from you.
But this—this doesn’t feel like something you’re doing.” He peeked over at Nick.
Nick couldn’t move. He couldn’t even look at his brother.
“What happened last night?” Gabriel said. “When you were talking to Hunter?”
Nick’s head snapped to the side. Gabriel was referring to whatever had led to Nick looking like a hot mess on the stairs, but all Nick heard were Gabriel’s words. My brother has enough freaks pining after him.
He must have looked fierce because Gabriel put his hands up.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” Gabriel said. “Christ—I don’t even know why we are fighting.”
Nick swallowed and looked at the windshield.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Gabriel said after a minute. “I—
I wish I knew why you won’t.”
It sounded like it cost him something to say that.
“I want to tell you,” said Nick.
The words fell out of his mouth almost against his will.
And as soon as he said them, he realized how true they were.
He wanted to tell Gabriel about Adam. He told his brother everything, and now he felt more strongly about another human being than he ever had, and he couldn’t breathe a word about it.
The mental strife was choking him.
No, the terror of losing his brother was choking him.
But wasn’t he doing that anyway?
I can’t do this, Nick.
Nick couldn’t, either. He cleared his throat and nodded at the front of the café. “I probably should have picked coffee when you suggested it earlier.”
“Pick coffee now.”
Sit. Talk to me. That’s what his brother was saying.
Nick took a breath. He nodded. “Okay.”
The café had looked crowded from the parking lot, and getting up close to the front door confirmed it. Every table seemed occupied, but the line for the register wasn’t too long.
Still, someplace this packed wouldn’t exactly be conducive to the kind of discussion Nick had in mind.
Then again, Gabriel probably wouldn’t flip out in the middle of a crowd of people.
“We can come back out here to sit,” said Gabriel. “Plenty of room.”
Nick looked at him. It was barely forty-five degrees, so all the tables were deserted. But sitting in the fresh air would help—
Gabriel knew that. This was an olive branch.
“It’s not too cold?”
Gabriel dropped into one of the wire chairs in front of the restaurant. “Nah. I’ll hold the table so we don’t have to play the twin game.”
Meaning the thirty-eight thousand questions they encountered when seen in public together. Nick smiled, though it felt uncertain. “All right.”
He waited in line inside the warm bustle of the restaurant, wondering if this was an olive branch, too: Gabriel giving him time to think.
And he needed time to think.
Nerves made him jittery. What if his brother walked away?
What if he said he wasn’t okay with it?
Creepy. Freak.
Nick ran a hand through his hair and told himself to calm down.
Maybe he should lead off with Adam. So . . . I’ve met someone. It’s new, and it’s special, but . . . it’s a guy.
Maybe not.
I know you’re worried about Quinn, but we’re not really together. No, not since she caught me kissing a guy.
Ugh. This was horrible.
I’ve been lying to you for years.
Sure.
The line inched along. An older couple came in and got in line behind him.
Nick took another slow breath. Maybe this would be like it had been with Michael. Maybe it would be okay. Awkward at first, but . . . okay.
