Secret
Page 79
Or that moment in the woods. Gabriel’s voice, tight with panic. Come on, Nicky. Please. You’re scaring me.
Or the thousand moments before that. A lifetime of memories with his twin brother, undone in an instant.
You don’t have to hold him. Nick will stay down.
“Okay,” said Adam softly. “Okay. Come on.”
It was only then that Nick realized his breath was shaking and his eyes had filled. Adam’s fingers wrapped around his good hand and tugged. Nick allowed himself to be led.
When he was sure his voice wouldn’t break, he said, “Where are we going?”
“Bus stop. My place?”
Nick nodded. He certainly couldn’t go home.
If he was being strictly honest with himself, he was afraid to go home.
God, he was such a wuss.
But when they were on the near-empty bus, sharing a bench at the back of the vehicle, Adam leaned into him and spoke quietly. “When you pushed him away from me—that was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Nick scoffed, but Adam put a finger over his lips. “It was.
For me, it was. Take it or leave it.”
Nick took it.
CHAPTER 26
Quinn hadn’t told Becca everything.
She’d left out Nick’s secret.
She’d left out Tyler.
She’d left out the trophy and the bruise and the fire on the beach.
But she’d cried and talked about how much she missed her best friend, about how much it hurt when Becca treated her like she was overdramatic, how she needed to figure out how to trust her again.
How much Quinn needed Becca to be there when she was ready to tell her everything.
She’d expected Becca to brush her off. If she was being strictly honest with herself, she’d expected Becca to sigh and huff and start talking about Chris.
But Becca had cried with her and told her how much she missed her, too, and Quinn realized that some of her worries about her best friend were exaggerations she’d created in her mind.
Another example of pushing someone away before they had the opportunity to help her.
Becca had begged her to come stay with her, but Quinn had refused. She needed more time to untangle the snarled mess of her thoughts. To decide how much trust she was willing to share.
Now, Quinn was ready for Tyler to come home with Chinese food, to sit across from him and have a real conversation.
She’d mocked him about honor, but really, he’d been incredi-bly honorable toward her. He’d never lied. He’d never taken her up on her offer to “repay” him.
She was ready to stop pushing him away.
Nick, too. Quinn reassessed the way she’d treated him. He’d been trying to protect her from Tyler, and she’d all but told him to f**k off.
Not all but. She had. She still had the text in her phone history.
She’d pushed Adam away, too, that night she’d blown him off, the night she’d jumped on a bus and texted Tyler.
When she really thought about it, she had a lot of people looking out for her, and she’d treated them all like crap.
Then Tyler strolled through the door looking like he’d been in a fight. His jacket was filthy, his jeans looking somewhat charred around the seams. He dropped a leaking bag of Chinese food on the table.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said flatly. “The place was packed. I had to wait.”
Quinn stared at him. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Your boyfriend happened,” he said flatly. “He and his brother just renewed my desire to kill them.”
Nick needed to call home.
He didn’t want to, but if he didn’t show up, Michael would worry.
He sat on the end of Adam’s bed, staring at Adam’s cell phone, while his host banged around in the kitchen, making something he claimed would be better than coffee.
Nick almost hoped it would be something better than hard liquor, because he wouldn’t mind turning off his thoughts for a while.
It was close to ten. He only knew two numbers by heart: the house phone and Gabriel’s cell.
No contest.
The house phone rang four times. With each ring, Nick’s heart staggered as he prepared for Gabriel to pick up.
Fate smiled on him this time. Chris answered.
“It’s me,” said Nick. “Is Mike around?”
“He’s out with Hannah.” Chris hesitated. “Where are you calling from? Are you okay?”
“Did Gabriel get home yet?”
“No, why? Where are you?”
Nick absolutely hated that his twin brother had been such a dick, but he still felt a flicker of worry about where Gabriel had gone—or what he was doing. “Look—Chris, it’s nothing. Can you tell Michael something for me?”
“Sure. Whatever you need.” Chris hesitated. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
No. Nick rubbed at his eyes. He wanted to crawl into a bed and sleep for a month. “Will you tell him—” Tell him what?
That his twin brother had broken his heart? That he couldn’t come home for . . . ever? Nick cleared his throat. “Tell him I’m spending the night with a friend. I accidentally left my phone in the car.”
Another pause. A weighted one. Chris’s voice was low.
“Would this friend be Adam?”
Nick froze.
Chris continued, “That’s who sent you the text message at school, right?”
At lunch. When he’d flipped out.
“Yeah.” Nick swallowed. He couldn’t read his brother’s voice, and after the fight with Gabriel, this uncertainty left him on edge.
Or the thousand moments before that. A lifetime of memories with his twin brother, undone in an instant.
You don’t have to hold him. Nick will stay down.
“Okay,” said Adam softly. “Okay. Come on.”
It was only then that Nick realized his breath was shaking and his eyes had filled. Adam’s fingers wrapped around his good hand and tugged. Nick allowed himself to be led.
When he was sure his voice wouldn’t break, he said, “Where are we going?”
“Bus stop. My place?”
Nick nodded. He certainly couldn’t go home.
If he was being strictly honest with himself, he was afraid to go home.
God, he was such a wuss.
But when they were on the near-empty bus, sharing a bench at the back of the vehicle, Adam leaned into him and spoke quietly. “When you pushed him away from me—that was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Nick scoffed, but Adam put a finger over his lips. “It was.
For me, it was. Take it or leave it.”
Nick took it.
CHAPTER 26
Quinn hadn’t told Becca everything.
She’d left out Nick’s secret.
She’d left out Tyler.
She’d left out the trophy and the bruise and the fire on the beach.
But she’d cried and talked about how much she missed her best friend, about how much it hurt when Becca treated her like she was overdramatic, how she needed to figure out how to trust her again.
How much Quinn needed Becca to be there when she was ready to tell her everything.
She’d expected Becca to brush her off. If she was being strictly honest with herself, she’d expected Becca to sigh and huff and start talking about Chris.
But Becca had cried with her and told her how much she missed her, too, and Quinn realized that some of her worries about her best friend were exaggerations she’d created in her mind.
Another example of pushing someone away before they had the opportunity to help her.
Becca had begged her to come stay with her, but Quinn had refused. She needed more time to untangle the snarled mess of her thoughts. To decide how much trust she was willing to share.
Now, Quinn was ready for Tyler to come home with Chinese food, to sit across from him and have a real conversation.
She’d mocked him about honor, but really, he’d been incredi-bly honorable toward her. He’d never lied. He’d never taken her up on her offer to “repay” him.
She was ready to stop pushing him away.
Nick, too. Quinn reassessed the way she’d treated him. He’d been trying to protect her from Tyler, and she’d all but told him to f**k off.
Not all but. She had. She still had the text in her phone history.
She’d pushed Adam away, too, that night she’d blown him off, the night she’d jumped on a bus and texted Tyler.
When she really thought about it, she had a lot of people looking out for her, and she’d treated them all like crap.
Then Tyler strolled through the door looking like he’d been in a fight. His jacket was filthy, his jeans looking somewhat charred around the seams. He dropped a leaking bag of Chinese food on the table.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said flatly. “The place was packed. I had to wait.”
Quinn stared at him. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Your boyfriend happened,” he said flatly. “He and his brother just renewed my desire to kill them.”
Nick needed to call home.
He didn’t want to, but if he didn’t show up, Michael would worry.
He sat on the end of Adam’s bed, staring at Adam’s cell phone, while his host banged around in the kitchen, making something he claimed would be better than coffee.
Nick almost hoped it would be something better than hard liquor, because he wouldn’t mind turning off his thoughts for a while.
It was close to ten. He only knew two numbers by heart: the house phone and Gabriel’s cell.
No contest.
The house phone rang four times. With each ring, Nick’s heart staggered as he prepared for Gabriel to pick up.
Fate smiled on him this time. Chris answered.
“It’s me,” said Nick. “Is Mike around?”
“He’s out with Hannah.” Chris hesitated. “Where are you calling from? Are you okay?”
“Did Gabriel get home yet?”
“No, why? Where are you?”
Nick absolutely hated that his twin brother had been such a dick, but he still felt a flicker of worry about where Gabriel had gone—or what he was doing. “Look—Chris, it’s nothing. Can you tell Michael something for me?”
“Sure. Whatever you need.” Chris hesitated. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
No. Nick rubbed at his eyes. He wanted to crawl into a bed and sleep for a month. “Will you tell him—” Tell him what?
That his twin brother had broken his heart? That he couldn’t come home for . . . ever? Nick cleared his throat. “Tell him I’m spending the night with a friend. I accidentally left my phone in the car.”
Another pause. A weighted one. Chris’s voice was low.
“Would this friend be Adam?”
Nick froze.
Chris continued, “That’s who sent you the text message at school, right?”
At lunch. When he’d flipped out.
“Yeah.” Nick swallowed. He couldn’t read his brother’s voice, and after the fight with Gabriel, this uncertainty left him on edge.
