Seductive Chaos
Page 69
“No, Cole, stop,” Vivian said, sitting up and pulling her legs together.
I ran my hands up her thighs and gripped her waist. I leaned down and kissed the base of her throat, my lips lingering over the erratic heartbeat
“What’s wrong, baby? I want to make you feel good,” I pleaded, running my fingers up under the skirt of her dress again.
Vivian grabbed ahold of my wrists and squeezed with all of her might.
“We are not having sex, Cole. So get your damn hands off me,” she warned.
I quickly pulled my hands back as though she had burned me. I sat back on my haunches and watched in disbelief as she swung her legs off the side of the bed and got to her feet. A little bit shaky I might add, feeling a smidge of satisfaction for making her knees tremble.
“I just thought, after you came in my mouth, that you wanted to keep going. Sorry for the misunderstanding,” I said sarcastically.
“I was asleep, Cole! I thought I was dreaming,” she fumed.
I smirked. “Do you dream about me tongue f**king you often?” I asked.
“I should have known,” Vivian muttered under her breath, sliding into her strappy sandal things with heels that looked like weapons. I didn’t want her throwing them, so I decided to backpedal a bit.
“Why are you even here?” I asked, trying to think back to last night. The only thing I could recall was going to Benny’s and ordering a round or ten. I didn’t remember much after that.
Though there were clearly some things between then and now that I needed to know about.
“You were wasted at Benny’s. I was there with my date. . .”
“You were on a date?” I asked, frowning.
Vivian sighed. “Well, thanks to your drunken dramatics, it ended before it really began. So thanks for that,” she hurled at me.
I rubbed the skin between my eyebrows, my head pounding with a dull ache. For being as drunk as I had obviously been, I wasn’t that hung over.
“Did we. . .?” I made a hip thrusting motion to make my point. Because if we f**ked and I couldn’t remember it, I was going to be pissed. I had waited too damn long to have Vivian Baily in my bed again. I’d be livid if I had blacked out during it.
Vivian picked up a pillow and threw it at me. I caught it easily and tossed it back onto the bed. “No, we didn’t have sex! Though apparently this morning is a different story.” She sounded so disgusted that it gave me pause. Would sleeping with me have been that horrible?
Didn’t she just enjoy herself?
“Vivian, hang on a sec. I’m sorry for misreading shit. But I just thought. . .you seemed into it. And I thought because you were here, you wanted to be with me. Am I wrong?” I hated how weak I sounded. I hated that her rejection was ripping my insides out.
With everything going on, finding her beside me this morning had seemed like a miracle.
I had missed her more than I realized. She had become an integral part of my world. A world that was slipping between my fingers.
Showing up at Barton’s the other night and finding some other f**ker fronting my band had been a hard blow. And the crowd seemed to be eating it up, whether I was there or not.
It hurt.
No, it had killed me.
And seeing Vivian there, I realized with a sudden realization that Generation Rejects and my friends weren’t the only things I had lost.
So I had gone home and gotten drunk. And more drunk. And when I sobered up a bit, I started drinking all over again.
Somehow I had ended up at Benny’s. Apparently the body needs more than beer and liquor to sustain itself. My raging blackout was a testament to that.
My life was beyond f**ked. I had messed up the only relationships I had ever counted on. And all the fame and fortune wouldn’t make up for the fact that I had no one.
And then I had found Vivian in my bed and I thought, for a brief moment, that maybe not everything was lost.
Guess I was wrong.
When had I become such a sappy bastard?
Vivian’s face softened. “I need to go, Cole. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she grabbed her phone and made a quick phone call.
“Hello. I need a cab at 72 Park Lane. As soon as possible. Thank you.” She hung up the phone and turned to me, her chin raised and a marked distance between us. “Can I use your bathroom?” she asked, not meeting my eyes.
“Sure,” I mumbled.
I was in the same spot when Vivian came out. I grabbed her hand as she went to walk past me to the door.
“Wait, Vivian. I haven’t talked to you in weeks. And there’s so much shit going on. I’ve really missed you. Can I see you later? Can I come by or can we go out somewhere?”
Vivian shook her head, cutting me off.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Cole. Nothing has changed between you and me. Last night was nothing. It was just one person worried about another. I didn’t want you to hurt yourself, so I stayed here. Let’s not make it into something that it’s not. You and I have never been the sort to read into whatever was between us. I don’t want to start now.”
Had I done this? Made her so damn bitter?
“And as for what’s going on with the guys, I think you need to take a long hard look at what got you here. You need to stop drinking yourself into a coma and start thinking about this with a clear head. Figure out what you want and where you hope to go from here. Stop blaming everybody and everything.”
Vivian slung her purse over her shoulder and opened the door. A blast of cold air blew in.
I ran my hands up her thighs and gripped her waist. I leaned down and kissed the base of her throat, my lips lingering over the erratic heartbeat
“What’s wrong, baby? I want to make you feel good,” I pleaded, running my fingers up under the skirt of her dress again.
Vivian grabbed ahold of my wrists and squeezed with all of her might.
“We are not having sex, Cole. So get your damn hands off me,” she warned.
I quickly pulled my hands back as though she had burned me. I sat back on my haunches and watched in disbelief as she swung her legs off the side of the bed and got to her feet. A little bit shaky I might add, feeling a smidge of satisfaction for making her knees tremble.
“I just thought, after you came in my mouth, that you wanted to keep going. Sorry for the misunderstanding,” I said sarcastically.
“I was asleep, Cole! I thought I was dreaming,” she fumed.
I smirked. “Do you dream about me tongue f**king you often?” I asked.
“I should have known,” Vivian muttered under her breath, sliding into her strappy sandal things with heels that looked like weapons. I didn’t want her throwing them, so I decided to backpedal a bit.
“Why are you even here?” I asked, trying to think back to last night. The only thing I could recall was going to Benny’s and ordering a round or ten. I didn’t remember much after that.
Though there were clearly some things between then and now that I needed to know about.
“You were wasted at Benny’s. I was there with my date. . .”
“You were on a date?” I asked, frowning.
Vivian sighed. “Well, thanks to your drunken dramatics, it ended before it really began. So thanks for that,” she hurled at me.
I rubbed the skin between my eyebrows, my head pounding with a dull ache. For being as drunk as I had obviously been, I wasn’t that hung over.
“Did we. . .?” I made a hip thrusting motion to make my point. Because if we f**ked and I couldn’t remember it, I was going to be pissed. I had waited too damn long to have Vivian Baily in my bed again. I’d be livid if I had blacked out during it.
Vivian picked up a pillow and threw it at me. I caught it easily and tossed it back onto the bed. “No, we didn’t have sex! Though apparently this morning is a different story.” She sounded so disgusted that it gave me pause. Would sleeping with me have been that horrible?
Didn’t she just enjoy herself?
“Vivian, hang on a sec. I’m sorry for misreading shit. But I just thought. . .you seemed into it. And I thought because you were here, you wanted to be with me. Am I wrong?” I hated how weak I sounded. I hated that her rejection was ripping my insides out.
With everything going on, finding her beside me this morning had seemed like a miracle.
I had missed her more than I realized. She had become an integral part of my world. A world that was slipping between my fingers.
Showing up at Barton’s the other night and finding some other f**ker fronting my band had been a hard blow. And the crowd seemed to be eating it up, whether I was there or not.
It hurt.
No, it had killed me.
And seeing Vivian there, I realized with a sudden realization that Generation Rejects and my friends weren’t the only things I had lost.
So I had gone home and gotten drunk. And more drunk. And when I sobered up a bit, I started drinking all over again.
Somehow I had ended up at Benny’s. Apparently the body needs more than beer and liquor to sustain itself. My raging blackout was a testament to that.
My life was beyond f**ked. I had messed up the only relationships I had ever counted on. And all the fame and fortune wouldn’t make up for the fact that I had no one.
And then I had found Vivian in my bed and I thought, for a brief moment, that maybe not everything was lost.
Guess I was wrong.
When had I become such a sappy bastard?
Vivian’s face softened. “I need to go, Cole. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she grabbed her phone and made a quick phone call.
“Hello. I need a cab at 72 Park Lane. As soon as possible. Thank you.” She hung up the phone and turned to me, her chin raised and a marked distance between us. “Can I use your bathroom?” she asked, not meeting my eyes.
“Sure,” I mumbled.
I was in the same spot when Vivian came out. I grabbed her hand as she went to walk past me to the door.
“Wait, Vivian. I haven’t talked to you in weeks. And there’s so much shit going on. I’ve really missed you. Can I see you later? Can I come by or can we go out somewhere?”
Vivian shook her head, cutting me off.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Cole. Nothing has changed between you and me. Last night was nothing. It was just one person worried about another. I didn’t want you to hurt yourself, so I stayed here. Let’s not make it into something that it’s not. You and I have never been the sort to read into whatever was between us. I don’t want to start now.”
Had I done this? Made her so damn bitter?
“And as for what’s going on with the guys, I think you need to take a long hard look at what got you here. You need to stop drinking yourself into a coma and start thinking about this with a clear head. Figure out what you want and where you hope to go from here. Stop blaming everybody and everything.”
Vivian slung her purse over her shoulder and opened the door. A blast of cold air blew in.
