Seductive Chaos
Page 89
She peered down. “Is that a green cummerbund?” she asked.
“You like green. So, I wore green.”
I was making a point. That I was paying attention to all of those tiny details. I hope she knew what I was trying to say.
We swayed together and I let myself relax and enjoy holding her.
“How did you get in here?” she asked.
“Maysie gave me her ticket,” I explained, pressing her close and leaning down to smell her hair. She felt just right in my arms. I would never get tired of how perfectly she fit against me.
“That sneak. She didn’t say a word,” Vivian chuckled.
“I told her not to. Don’t get mad at her.”
“Since when does Maysie do anything for you?” Vivian asked.
“Since she found out that I love you.” I swung her around, her body moving effortlessly with mine.
“Cole. . .” Vivian began but I put my finger over her mouth.
She shook her head and I dropped my hand.
“Why haven’t I heard from you? I’ve been going crazy wondering what happened! And when I asked Maysie she said to ask you. What happened?”
“After I fired Jose, we had a great talk with the label. They’re still going to put out the album. We’re going back on tour but with another group on the label. They still want to promote us. But all of us. As a band.”
Vivian grinned. “That’s awesome! You really fired Jose?”
I nodded. “Hell yeah I did! That dude was a jerk!”
Vivian smacked my arm. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“We stayed in the city for a few days. We got back to a really good place. Things aren’t perfect, but I think we’re headed in the right direction. I had a lot to sort through with the guys,” I explained.
Vivian smacked me again. “You could have sent a text! After what happened over the weekend, after everything you said, and you left me hanging again!” Her voice rose and several people dancing beside us gave us questioning looks.
“I thought coming here would have more of an impact,” I tried to tell her.
But she wasn’t hearing me. “This is what I’m talking about, Cole! You throw my life into a tailspin and then take off for a few days with no word! That shit has got to stop!”
I pulled back and away from her, feeling my own anger spike to meet hers. “Well if you would stop yelling at me for a second, you’d hear me say you were right! That things are going to change! Not just with the band but with you!” I yelled. Everyone was looking at us.
And when I say everyone, I meant everyone.
Vivian covered her face.
“Why are you here, Cole? Just to ruin my night? To make me crazy all over again? Well congratulations, mission accomplished!” she seethed, squirming out of my arms and trying to push past me.
“No way, Viv. You can’t leave me like this. You will hear what I have to say and stop stomping off like a spoiled brat,” I hissed in her ear, pulling her back towards me.
She turned around, her face an inch from mine.
“You better make it good, Cole,” she warned, her eyes flashing in rage. Just how I liked ‘em.
“You and me, we ain't easy. We will never be simple. We will never be the type to sit on the same side of the booth without talking. We will never fall into the complacent boredom life becomes when you stop looking for the exciting and start to accept the mediocre. Because baby, we're anything but mediocre. We're fire. We're the explosion after the pain. You'll destroy me, Viv. And I don't care. Because I want you to. I'd rather be a pile of ashes in your aftermath then whole and complete without you.”
I kissed the tip of her adorable nose.
“I’ve learned that your favorite color is green. That you live off coffee. That your favorite piece of clothing is your Juicy sweatpants held up with safety pins, even though I know you’re embarrassed to be seen in them.”
I placed my lips beside her ear. “But you still look hot in them,” I whispered before pulling back slightly.
Vivian’s eyes shimmered and she sniffed loudly. I kissed the wetness that fell down her cheek.
“I know that you sing in the shower and have an old Backstreet Boys CD in your car that you play over and over again. You eat pizza all the time and you also keep a bag of Skittles in your jacket pocket because your sweet tooth is seriously out of control. I also know that you’re intelligent, and thoughtful, and entirely too nice to a bonehead like me. I know that you’re capable of putting together something like this gala and you do it while looking drop dead gorgeous.”
She was starting to ugly cry now. And that was okay. Because she was still beautiful.
“I know that there’s no one in this world that I’d rather be with. No one who will put up with my shit the way you do. You put me in my place and you are most definitely not a doormat. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Vivian closed her eyes, the fight draining out of her.
“I just don’t know if I can ever trust you, Cole. And what sort of relationship can we have if we don’t have that?”
I held her tight against me, hating myself for ever giving her a single moment of doubt about my feelings for her. I had put this woman through hell and back and she deserved so much better than me.
But I was a selfish f**king bastard and I’d hold onto her with everything I had.
“I’ll spend every second of every day building your trust in me, Viv. There’s no one I want but you. No one will ever matter to me the way you do. This world could fall apart around me and as long as I had you, I’d be all right.”
“You like green. So, I wore green.”
I was making a point. That I was paying attention to all of those tiny details. I hope she knew what I was trying to say.
We swayed together and I let myself relax and enjoy holding her.
“How did you get in here?” she asked.
“Maysie gave me her ticket,” I explained, pressing her close and leaning down to smell her hair. She felt just right in my arms. I would never get tired of how perfectly she fit against me.
“That sneak. She didn’t say a word,” Vivian chuckled.
“I told her not to. Don’t get mad at her.”
“Since when does Maysie do anything for you?” Vivian asked.
“Since she found out that I love you.” I swung her around, her body moving effortlessly with mine.
“Cole. . .” Vivian began but I put my finger over her mouth.
She shook her head and I dropped my hand.
“Why haven’t I heard from you? I’ve been going crazy wondering what happened! And when I asked Maysie she said to ask you. What happened?”
“After I fired Jose, we had a great talk with the label. They’re still going to put out the album. We’re going back on tour but with another group on the label. They still want to promote us. But all of us. As a band.”
Vivian grinned. “That’s awesome! You really fired Jose?”
I nodded. “Hell yeah I did! That dude was a jerk!”
Vivian smacked my arm. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“We stayed in the city for a few days. We got back to a really good place. Things aren’t perfect, but I think we’re headed in the right direction. I had a lot to sort through with the guys,” I explained.
Vivian smacked me again. “You could have sent a text! After what happened over the weekend, after everything you said, and you left me hanging again!” Her voice rose and several people dancing beside us gave us questioning looks.
“I thought coming here would have more of an impact,” I tried to tell her.
But she wasn’t hearing me. “This is what I’m talking about, Cole! You throw my life into a tailspin and then take off for a few days with no word! That shit has got to stop!”
I pulled back and away from her, feeling my own anger spike to meet hers. “Well if you would stop yelling at me for a second, you’d hear me say you were right! That things are going to change! Not just with the band but with you!” I yelled. Everyone was looking at us.
And when I say everyone, I meant everyone.
Vivian covered her face.
“Why are you here, Cole? Just to ruin my night? To make me crazy all over again? Well congratulations, mission accomplished!” she seethed, squirming out of my arms and trying to push past me.
“No way, Viv. You can’t leave me like this. You will hear what I have to say and stop stomping off like a spoiled brat,” I hissed in her ear, pulling her back towards me.
She turned around, her face an inch from mine.
“You better make it good, Cole,” she warned, her eyes flashing in rage. Just how I liked ‘em.
“You and me, we ain't easy. We will never be simple. We will never be the type to sit on the same side of the booth without talking. We will never fall into the complacent boredom life becomes when you stop looking for the exciting and start to accept the mediocre. Because baby, we're anything but mediocre. We're fire. We're the explosion after the pain. You'll destroy me, Viv. And I don't care. Because I want you to. I'd rather be a pile of ashes in your aftermath then whole and complete without you.”
I kissed the tip of her adorable nose.
“I’ve learned that your favorite color is green. That you live off coffee. That your favorite piece of clothing is your Juicy sweatpants held up with safety pins, even though I know you’re embarrassed to be seen in them.”
I placed my lips beside her ear. “But you still look hot in them,” I whispered before pulling back slightly.
Vivian’s eyes shimmered and she sniffed loudly. I kissed the wetness that fell down her cheek.
“I know that you sing in the shower and have an old Backstreet Boys CD in your car that you play over and over again. You eat pizza all the time and you also keep a bag of Skittles in your jacket pocket because your sweet tooth is seriously out of control. I also know that you’re intelligent, and thoughtful, and entirely too nice to a bonehead like me. I know that you’re capable of putting together something like this gala and you do it while looking drop dead gorgeous.”
She was starting to ugly cry now. And that was okay. Because she was still beautiful.
“I know that there’s no one in this world that I’d rather be with. No one who will put up with my shit the way you do. You put me in my place and you are most definitely not a doormat. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Vivian closed her eyes, the fight draining out of her.
“I just don’t know if I can ever trust you, Cole. And what sort of relationship can we have if we don’t have that?”
I held her tight against me, hating myself for ever giving her a single moment of doubt about my feelings for her. I had put this woman through hell and back and she deserved so much better than me.
But I was a selfish f**king bastard and I’d hold onto her with everything I had.
“I’ll spend every second of every day building your trust in me, Viv. There’s no one I want but you. No one will ever matter to me the way you do. This world could fall apart around me and as long as I had you, I’d be all right.”
