Shadow
Page 36
Pain dulled the arousal she felt at how sexy the sight had been when Shadow’s head was thrown back, the muscles in his arm, his ass, and his torso tensed, defining every one. He’d groaned in a way that made her catch her breath as she’d watched him shake and twitch as he came. It did funny things to her stomach. She became aware of her ni**les for some reason and she throbbed between her legs. It wasn’t a mystery though, what she was feeling. She had the same reaction when she read steamy sex scenes in romance novels that turned her on.
Shadow had suddenly twisted his head in her direction and she’d forced her focus off the very appealing sight of his cock, which he’d still stroked but in slower motions. He’d looked at her, his expression grim. Instinct and fear gripped her as his mouth opened and his fangs showed. He was displeased in a big way. She bolted, slamming doors between them. She’d invaded his privacy and it wasn’t until she was closed inside her room that she calmed.
Shadow wouldn’t hurt her. Instincts were a bitch. Sometimes she reacted without thought, only later suffering the consequences. The spider incident in the kitchen a month before at the dorm was a perfect example. The other women still laughed and teased her about leaping up onto the island and shrieking when the tiny thing had landed on her hand when she’d pulled out a baking sheet. It must have built a web under the cabinet and her fingers had brushed through it.
The reasonable side of her knew she’d never been in danger. Not with that eight-legged creature, nor with Shadow. The problem was that some things were just embedded in her DNA. Anything unexpected that made her jump had her bounding away and making that horrible high-pitched sound. She almost wished she were canine or feline. They snarled or growled but acted aggressively when they were put in those situations. Definitely not laughable reactions.
Hurt came after the embarrassment passed. Shadow could have shared her bed and initiated sex but he had gone to his room instead. She rolled over, closing her eyes. She’d offered but he’d refused. He’d even seen her na**d earlier, albeit it wasn’t intentional. There was nothing more she could do. The hints had been provided, she’d been honest and now the ball was in Shadow’s court. It just didn’t seem as though it was a game either of them could win. Not that she was playing. She just wanted him to want her as much as she did him. Who better to help her heal than someone who’d suffered too?
“Damn,” she whispered. “Why do you have to make this so tough?”
* * * * *
Sleep was hard to come by and Shadow felt as if he’d gotten little to none of it when he finally rolled out of bed after the sun had risen. The cabin was so quiet he feared waking Beauty if he opened the door to go downstairs in search of food. It came as a relief when his cell phone vibrated and he answered the call.
“Are there as many trees outside as I’ve been told?”
“Wrath!” The sound of a masculine voice was never more welcome. “How are you and Lauren?”
“We are very good. Lauren and her cat love the house. I am appreciating every room with her.” He chuckled. “That is a sexual reference. I went for a run this morning and imagine my surprise when I heard you’d been assigned to escort a Gift Female to Reservation.”
“Um, yes.” He sat back down, running his fingers through the short strands of his hair. It annoyed him how quickly it grew since he’d stopped cutting it for the task force. “I was.”
“Have you shared sex?”
“No.”
“Why not? I was told that was the purpose of sending you both to a cabin. To give you privacy.”
Resentment burned. “Mercile no longer controls me.”
The silence lengthened into almost half a minute. “You feel pushed into this? You’re comparing the NSO to Mercile? That is the way I understand your statement.”
“Yes. It’s a new breeding experiment without the technicians to handle us and no locks to keep us here. It’s still expected for us to share sex.”
“Is that how the female feels?”
“I don’t think so. She, um…” He wasn’t sure how to word it.
“She what?”
“I was told she wanted to be alone with me.”
“She’s interested in you but you don’t feel the same? You feel no sexual attraction?”
“I do. She’s beautiful.” His voice lowered. “Sweet. Innocent. But she’s a Gift Female, Wrath. She’s small and a primate mix. I feel monstrous in size compared to her.”
“You will fit. Take your time. I feared that with Lauren. They stretch down there to accommodate your girth. Just don’t go too deep until her body has become accustomed to yours.”
“That isn’t my fear. I suppose it partly is…but mostly I’m afraid of losing control.”
“I understand. I suffered those same anxieties about Lauren. I had to trust myself to know I wouldn’t strike out at her if I had a bad moment. You just need to remember she is flesh and blood, not those videos and machines. We’re free. Our bodies are no longer harnessed for pain and humiliation while our seed is stolen. You won’t forget that while you are touching her. Shed that fear. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I know you do. I keep having flashbacks to what was done to us.”
“You are unable to get an erection?” Wrath whispered, a hint his mate was nearby and he wanted to protect his friend from the humiliation of anyone else knowing if that was his problem. “There are pills for that. You should discuss it with a doctor. We see commercials for that all the time. They say it’s not just physical issues but sometimes emotional ones.”
Shadow had suddenly twisted his head in her direction and she’d forced her focus off the very appealing sight of his cock, which he’d still stroked but in slower motions. He’d looked at her, his expression grim. Instinct and fear gripped her as his mouth opened and his fangs showed. He was displeased in a big way. She bolted, slamming doors between them. She’d invaded his privacy and it wasn’t until she was closed inside her room that she calmed.
Shadow wouldn’t hurt her. Instincts were a bitch. Sometimes she reacted without thought, only later suffering the consequences. The spider incident in the kitchen a month before at the dorm was a perfect example. The other women still laughed and teased her about leaping up onto the island and shrieking when the tiny thing had landed on her hand when she’d pulled out a baking sheet. It must have built a web under the cabinet and her fingers had brushed through it.
The reasonable side of her knew she’d never been in danger. Not with that eight-legged creature, nor with Shadow. The problem was that some things were just embedded in her DNA. Anything unexpected that made her jump had her bounding away and making that horrible high-pitched sound. She almost wished she were canine or feline. They snarled or growled but acted aggressively when they were put in those situations. Definitely not laughable reactions.
Hurt came after the embarrassment passed. Shadow could have shared her bed and initiated sex but he had gone to his room instead. She rolled over, closing her eyes. She’d offered but he’d refused. He’d even seen her na**d earlier, albeit it wasn’t intentional. There was nothing more she could do. The hints had been provided, she’d been honest and now the ball was in Shadow’s court. It just didn’t seem as though it was a game either of them could win. Not that she was playing. She just wanted him to want her as much as she did him. Who better to help her heal than someone who’d suffered too?
“Damn,” she whispered. “Why do you have to make this so tough?”
* * * * *
Sleep was hard to come by and Shadow felt as if he’d gotten little to none of it when he finally rolled out of bed after the sun had risen. The cabin was so quiet he feared waking Beauty if he opened the door to go downstairs in search of food. It came as a relief when his cell phone vibrated and he answered the call.
“Are there as many trees outside as I’ve been told?”
“Wrath!” The sound of a masculine voice was never more welcome. “How are you and Lauren?”
“We are very good. Lauren and her cat love the house. I am appreciating every room with her.” He chuckled. “That is a sexual reference. I went for a run this morning and imagine my surprise when I heard you’d been assigned to escort a Gift Female to Reservation.”
“Um, yes.” He sat back down, running his fingers through the short strands of his hair. It annoyed him how quickly it grew since he’d stopped cutting it for the task force. “I was.”
“Have you shared sex?”
“No.”
“Why not? I was told that was the purpose of sending you both to a cabin. To give you privacy.”
Resentment burned. “Mercile no longer controls me.”
The silence lengthened into almost half a minute. “You feel pushed into this? You’re comparing the NSO to Mercile? That is the way I understand your statement.”
“Yes. It’s a new breeding experiment without the technicians to handle us and no locks to keep us here. It’s still expected for us to share sex.”
“Is that how the female feels?”
“I don’t think so. She, um…” He wasn’t sure how to word it.
“She what?”
“I was told she wanted to be alone with me.”
“She’s interested in you but you don’t feel the same? You feel no sexual attraction?”
“I do. She’s beautiful.” His voice lowered. “Sweet. Innocent. But she’s a Gift Female, Wrath. She’s small and a primate mix. I feel monstrous in size compared to her.”
“You will fit. Take your time. I feared that with Lauren. They stretch down there to accommodate your girth. Just don’t go too deep until her body has become accustomed to yours.”
“That isn’t my fear. I suppose it partly is…but mostly I’m afraid of losing control.”
“I understand. I suffered those same anxieties about Lauren. I had to trust myself to know I wouldn’t strike out at her if I had a bad moment. You just need to remember she is flesh and blood, not those videos and machines. We’re free. Our bodies are no longer harnessed for pain and humiliation while our seed is stolen. You won’t forget that while you are touching her. Shed that fear. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I know you do. I keep having flashbacks to what was done to us.”
“You are unable to get an erection?” Wrath whispered, a hint his mate was nearby and he wanted to protect his friend from the humiliation of anyone else knowing if that was his problem. “There are pills for that. You should discuss it with a doctor. We see commercials for that all the time. They say it’s not just physical issues but sometimes emotional ones.”
