Shadow
Page 4
The small apartment she’d been assigned inside the women’s dorm at Homeland was her home now. She’d been freed and wasn’t called Mud anymore. She shoved at the covers, stuck her legs out and scrambled away from the bed. Her nightmares were getting worse and all her old fears returned.
She paced the carpeted floor while she battled the strong emotion of shame. She’d never recovered from the humiliation she felt over what she’d done to that stranger who’d used his body to shield hers when that sniper had pinned them down. Shane had really wanted to be her friend but she’d misunderstood his motives. She realized why he’d been horrified when she’d fondled him inappropriately now that she’d had time to adjust to her new life.
It was his job to save New Species. He hadn’t been offering to become her new master if she agreed to have sex without fighting him. He just hadn’t wanted her to attack and force him to restrain her. She groaned, guessing he must have thought her pathetic or insane. Perhaps a bit of both.
A faint sound reached her ears and she crept closer to the common wall of the apartment next door. Her ear pressed against the cool plaster to listen as Kit and a man shared sex. The sounds of their heavy breathing, growls and slapping bodies always penetrated the walls when one of the women brought someone home on either side of her apartment. It made her long for whatever connection they had.
Kit cried out, the man growled louder, and their breathing slowed.
“That was really good,” Kit chuckled. “Thanks, Book.”
“My pleasure,” he rasped. “Do you want me to go or stay?”
“Leave,” Kit answered.
“Are you sure?” He didn’t sound happy. “I’d like to hold you.”
“No way. You’re not a male I want to grow attached to. It’s just sex.”
“Fine.” His tone grew gruffer. “Next time we can use the bed.”
“No.” Kit had changed locations. “Then I’d smell you longer than it takes to wash away your scent from my body and air out the room. I’d have to do laundry.”
“You’re cold.” Anger changed his voice into a bit of a snarl. “I’m out of here. Good luck with the next male you ask to share sex. Poor bastard.” A door opened and slammed closed within a minute.
Beauty cocked her head, listening to the heavy footfalls move past her door in the hallway. The sound of running water came from Kit’s apartment. Sadness gripped Beauty. If a man wanted to stay with her she’d allow him to sleep in her bed and would enjoy his scent on her sheets. She wouldn’t kick him out as soon as the sex finished. Of course that would mean having a man inside her home but Species men avoided her. They refused to even meet her gaze and kept a wide berth.
Gift Female. Those two words assured her single fate. She sighed and walked into her kitchen, knowing sleep wouldn’t return. It was law that all men avoid frightening a Gift Female. It was known they’d been abused, probably feared sex, and they steered clear of her.
She opened the fridge to grab a soda but a deep masculine laugh made her start. Her head turned in that direction and she realized it came from her other neighbor. The wind blew her curtain near the sink where she’d left the window cracked open. She inched closer to it and peered out into the night.
Rusty and a man stood on the balcony next door. They were close enough that she heard their words when they spoke. Beauty quickly backed away, fearful they’d discover her spying. It seemed that almost every woman in the dorm had a man visitor. She was always alone.
She turned away and rushed to the front door, desperate to escape. It wasn’t fair and it hurt. The Species women who lived on both sides of her had no idea how lucky they were not to know the deep longing she suffered. Kit had just thrown a man out, done with him. Rusty would probably do the same after she shared sex with the one she laughed with.
Beauty bypassed the elevator to jog down the stairs and used the corridor to exit the side doors of the building to avoid the main living areas. The last thing she wanted was to run into anyone. She burst outside and paused while the door closed behind her. The sky was filled with clouds, blocking out the stars and moon. She could just feel that a storm brewed.
Part of her knew she needed to return to her apartment. The air felt heavy and the wind a bit chilly on her bare arms and legs. She glanced down to realize she hadn’t even dressed. The loose white nightgown fell to just above her knees and her bare feet rested on cool pavement. She spun and tried to open the door but discovered it locked.
“Darn it.”
She’d have to go to the front of the dorm to gain entrance. She had fled without her badge and someone else would have to let her inside. That meant she’d have to explain why she was outside late at night wearing so little. It would probably make the women worry about her state of mind. She hesitated.
A fat drop of rain landed on her bare shoulder and she reached up to adjust the thin strap of her nightgown. Another drop wet her nose. Lightning flashed in the sky, highlighting the area with a violent streak of brilliance. She counted to four before the boom of thunder followed.
She’d been promised that life would be better after being freed but things were just different. The chains that had enslaved her were gone but she was still alone. Memories of being locked inside the basement surfaced. She had once dreamed of leaving it to see the world outside but she wasn’t living in that world. The facts couldn’t be denied as she hugged her chest, pondering her reality. It was almost crueler to see what she could never have. At least in the past she hadn’t known what could be possible.
She paced the carpeted floor while she battled the strong emotion of shame. She’d never recovered from the humiliation she felt over what she’d done to that stranger who’d used his body to shield hers when that sniper had pinned them down. Shane had really wanted to be her friend but she’d misunderstood his motives. She realized why he’d been horrified when she’d fondled him inappropriately now that she’d had time to adjust to her new life.
It was his job to save New Species. He hadn’t been offering to become her new master if she agreed to have sex without fighting him. He just hadn’t wanted her to attack and force him to restrain her. She groaned, guessing he must have thought her pathetic or insane. Perhaps a bit of both.
A faint sound reached her ears and she crept closer to the common wall of the apartment next door. Her ear pressed against the cool plaster to listen as Kit and a man shared sex. The sounds of their heavy breathing, growls and slapping bodies always penetrated the walls when one of the women brought someone home on either side of her apartment. It made her long for whatever connection they had.
Kit cried out, the man growled louder, and their breathing slowed.
“That was really good,” Kit chuckled. “Thanks, Book.”
“My pleasure,” he rasped. “Do you want me to go or stay?”
“Leave,” Kit answered.
“Are you sure?” He didn’t sound happy. “I’d like to hold you.”
“No way. You’re not a male I want to grow attached to. It’s just sex.”
“Fine.” His tone grew gruffer. “Next time we can use the bed.”
“No.” Kit had changed locations. “Then I’d smell you longer than it takes to wash away your scent from my body and air out the room. I’d have to do laundry.”
“You’re cold.” Anger changed his voice into a bit of a snarl. “I’m out of here. Good luck with the next male you ask to share sex. Poor bastard.” A door opened and slammed closed within a minute.
Beauty cocked her head, listening to the heavy footfalls move past her door in the hallway. The sound of running water came from Kit’s apartment. Sadness gripped Beauty. If a man wanted to stay with her she’d allow him to sleep in her bed and would enjoy his scent on her sheets. She wouldn’t kick him out as soon as the sex finished. Of course that would mean having a man inside her home but Species men avoided her. They refused to even meet her gaze and kept a wide berth.
Gift Female. Those two words assured her single fate. She sighed and walked into her kitchen, knowing sleep wouldn’t return. It was law that all men avoid frightening a Gift Female. It was known they’d been abused, probably feared sex, and they steered clear of her.
She opened the fridge to grab a soda but a deep masculine laugh made her start. Her head turned in that direction and she realized it came from her other neighbor. The wind blew her curtain near the sink where she’d left the window cracked open. She inched closer to it and peered out into the night.
Rusty and a man stood on the balcony next door. They were close enough that she heard their words when they spoke. Beauty quickly backed away, fearful they’d discover her spying. It seemed that almost every woman in the dorm had a man visitor. She was always alone.
She turned away and rushed to the front door, desperate to escape. It wasn’t fair and it hurt. The Species women who lived on both sides of her had no idea how lucky they were not to know the deep longing she suffered. Kit had just thrown a man out, done with him. Rusty would probably do the same after she shared sex with the one she laughed with.
Beauty bypassed the elevator to jog down the stairs and used the corridor to exit the side doors of the building to avoid the main living areas. The last thing she wanted was to run into anyone. She burst outside and paused while the door closed behind her. The sky was filled with clouds, blocking out the stars and moon. She could just feel that a storm brewed.
Part of her knew she needed to return to her apartment. The air felt heavy and the wind a bit chilly on her bare arms and legs. She glanced down to realize she hadn’t even dressed. The loose white nightgown fell to just above her knees and her bare feet rested on cool pavement. She spun and tried to open the door but discovered it locked.
“Darn it.”
She’d have to go to the front of the dorm to gain entrance. She had fled without her badge and someone else would have to let her inside. That meant she’d have to explain why she was outside late at night wearing so little. It would probably make the women worry about her state of mind. She hesitated.
A fat drop of rain landed on her bare shoulder and she reached up to adjust the thin strap of her nightgown. Another drop wet her nose. Lightning flashed in the sky, highlighting the area with a violent streak of brilliance. She counted to four before the boom of thunder followed.
She’d been promised that life would be better after being freed but things were just different. The chains that had enslaved her were gone but she was still alone. Memories of being locked inside the basement surfaced. She had once dreamed of leaving it to see the world outside but she wasn’t living in that world. The facts couldn’t be denied as she hugged her chest, pondering her reality. It was almost crueler to see what she could never have. At least in the past she hadn’t known what could be possible.
