Shadow
Page 91
Careful for what you wish for, an inner voice mocked.
“Beauty?” He stood directly behind her. “What is wrong? Look at me.”
She hesitated, trying to get her emotions under control.
“Beauty?”
She opened her eyes and rapidly blinked back tears, turning to face him. It was time to be totally honest. There was nothing to lose if he already planned to leave. She could just be blunt and hope he’d reconsider his current path.
“Why are you crying? Did something happen while I was gone? Did that female upset you? I saw her come inside as I left.”
“Kit was unusually nice today. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t want you to leave Homeland to return to the task force. I’ll hardly see you. I know I should be grateful for having you in my life at all after spending so much time alone but I want more than that. I appreciate you seeing me the same way you do the other women but I’m different.” Her shoulders straightened and she held his gaze. “I deserve more than a man who is barely around. I want it all, Shadow.”
He seemed stunned.
“You know, a real relationship. I want someone who comes home to me every day and spends their nights with me. I want to cook you dinner and snuggle on the couch while we watch shows. I’m not even sure if we’d enjoy the same ones but we’d be together. I want to get to know everything about you, even the bad stuff I might find annoying. It won’t matter because I’m willing to accept you for who you are, all of it, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
His lips parted but nothing came out.
She cleared her throat. “I want a true commitment.” It made her feel a little dizzy to admit that but it was just nerves. The worst he could do was walk out. “Not just someone in my life when they can fit me into their busy schedule. I realize it’s a lot to ask. You would have to remain here instead of enjoying the more exciting adventures you must have with the task force. It’s also more dangerous working for them. You deal with the kind of men who came after me. They are bad and dangerous. That can’t be good for you to see that every day. We’re free now and should embrace the good things life has to offer. Maybe you enjoy the work but you enjoy sex too. Your team can’t give you that but I can.” Her hands gripped her hips. “I can’t compare work stories with you since I’m not permitted to hold a job as a Gift because it would put me in contact with too many men but I could give you a good home you would enjoy living in. I will worry about you while you’re doing your job. It matters to me what happens to you and while they may be your friends on the task force, what I feel is stronger. I’m sure of that.”
“Beauty… I—”
His features softened. He probably felt sorry for her. She refused to give up and cut him off. He couldn’t just walk away.
“I know we didn’t have much time together but I’m offering you all that I am. You can’t just ignore that, Shadow. You owe it to both of us to see where we lead. I think we could be happy. I know I want us to be. We’re both damaged but that makes us more suitable. There’s something special between us, something strong, and it’s not just sex.”
“I—”
“Don’t tell me you won’t at least consider what I’m offering. You have to stay at Homeland to get to know me better.” She took a shaky breath. “I won’t beg but I won’t be a doormat either. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t leave me here to go have a life but expect me to wait around for you as if I don’t have one.”
He lunged and jerked her against his body. “Do you ever allow a male to speak?”
She gripped his biceps through the material of his shirt, wishing for skin. “I don’t want you to say something I can’t stand to hear.”
He softly growled as one of his arms released her waist and he reached for something inside his back pocket. He held up a crisp, folded sheet of paper. “Do you know what this is?”
“No. Your orders to return to the task force?” It was her best guess.
He shook his head and then released her completely. He lowered to his knees in front of her. He licked his lips, his features tense. “Mate papers. I had it drawn up. We just need to sign it. It’s just one paper actually but it’s a less involved process to bind us together than the ones involving humans. The outside world holds no claim on us that they might ever try to sever.”
Her legs turned rubbery and she ended up on her knees in front of him.
“I packed up my belongings because there wasn’t a reason to keep a room at the men’s dorm. I want to be with you and you’re here.” He cleared his throat, staring deeply into her eyes. “I came to ask you to be my mate and tell you that if you agree, housing is being made available to us soon. We can have a house next to my best friend and his mate. She’s nice and I think she would be a good friend.” He took a deep breath. “I’m offering you everything too, love. Me. I don’t want adventure or to leave Homeland. You aren’t there and I just want to be with you.”
“Yes.” She nodded frantically, blinking back tears again.
“We are both damaged.” Shadow suddenly grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way if it means I get you.”
“You’ve got me.” She held out her hand. “Let’s sign them. Is that all we need to do?”
“Beauty?” He stood directly behind her. “What is wrong? Look at me.”
She hesitated, trying to get her emotions under control.
“Beauty?”
She opened her eyes and rapidly blinked back tears, turning to face him. It was time to be totally honest. There was nothing to lose if he already planned to leave. She could just be blunt and hope he’d reconsider his current path.
“Why are you crying? Did something happen while I was gone? Did that female upset you? I saw her come inside as I left.”
“Kit was unusually nice today. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t want you to leave Homeland to return to the task force. I’ll hardly see you. I know I should be grateful for having you in my life at all after spending so much time alone but I want more than that. I appreciate you seeing me the same way you do the other women but I’m different.” Her shoulders straightened and she held his gaze. “I deserve more than a man who is barely around. I want it all, Shadow.”
He seemed stunned.
“You know, a real relationship. I want someone who comes home to me every day and spends their nights with me. I want to cook you dinner and snuggle on the couch while we watch shows. I’m not even sure if we’d enjoy the same ones but we’d be together. I want to get to know everything about you, even the bad stuff I might find annoying. It won’t matter because I’m willing to accept you for who you are, all of it, but I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
His lips parted but nothing came out.
She cleared her throat. “I want a true commitment.” It made her feel a little dizzy to admit that but it was just nerves. The worst he could do was walk out. “Not just someone in my life when they can fit me into their busy schedule. I realize it’s a lot to ask. You would have to remain here instead of enjoying the more exciting adventures you must have with the task force. It’s also more dangerous working for them. You deal with the kind of men who came after me. They are bad and dangerous. That can’t be good for you to see that every day. We’re free now and should embrace the good things life has to offer. Maybe you enjoy the work but you enjoy sex too. Your team can’t give you that but I can.” Her hands gripped her hips. “I can’t compare work stories with you since I’m not permitted to hold a job as a Gift because it would put me in contact with too many men but I could give you a good home you would enjoy living in. I will worry about you while you’re doing your job. It matters to me what happens to you and while they may be your friends on the task force, what I feel is stronger. I’m sure of that.”
“Beauty… I—”
His features softened. He probably felt sorry for her. She refused to give up and cut him off. He couldn’t just walk away.
“I know we didn’t have much time together but I’m offering you all that I am. You can’t just ignore that, Shadow. You owe it to both of us to see where we lead. I think we could be happy. I know I want us to be. We’re both damaged but that makes us more suitable. There’s something special between us, something strong, and it’s not just sex.”
“I—”
“Don’t tell me you won’t at least consider what I’m offering. You have to stay at Homeland to get to know me better.” She took a shaky breath. “I won’t beg but I won’t be a doormat either. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t leave me here to go have a life but expect me to wait around for you as if I don’t have one.”
He lunged and jerked her against his body. “Do you ever allow a male to speak?”
She gripped his biceps through the material of his shirt, wishing for skin. “I don’t want you to say something I can’t stand to hear.”
He softly growled as one of his arms released her waist and he reached for something inside his back pocket. He held up a crisp, folded sheet of paper. “Do you know what this is?”
“No. Your orders to return to the task force?” It was her best guess.
He shook his head and then released her completely. He lowered to his knees in front of her. He licked his lips, his features tense. “Mate papers. I had it drawn up. We just need to sign it. It’s just one paper actually but it’s a less involved process to bind us together than the ones involving humans. The outside world holds no claim on us that they might ever try to sever.”
Her legs turned rubbery and she ended up on her knees in front of him.
“I packed up my belongings because there wasn’t a reason to keep a room at the men’s dorm. I want to be with you and you’re here.” He cleared his throat, staring deeply into her eyes. “I came to ask you to be my mate and tell you that if you agree, housing is being made available to us soon. We can have a house next to my best friend and his mate. She’s nice and I think she would be a good friend.” He took a deep breath. “I’m offering you everything too, love. Me. I don’t want adventure or to leave Homeland. You aren’t there and I just want to be with you.”
“Yes.” She nodded frantically, blinking back tears again.
“We are both damaged.” Shadow suddenly grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way if it means I get you.”
“You’ve got me.” She held out her hand. “Let’s sign them. Is that all we need to do?”
