Shadowfever
Page 49
Own? You think women can be owned?
He gave me a look that said, Oh, honey, of course they can. Have you forgotten so quickly?
I was Pri-ya!
And I liked you much better then! His eyes narrowed as if hed only finally processed something Id said earlier. Ive been dead for you for only three bloody days? And you already had Darroc up against my wall out back two nights ago? You waited one fucking day to line up my replacement? I spent weeks worrying about whether he would scrape my brand off your skull and I wouldnt be able to track you in the Silvers. The entire time I was trying to get back to save your ass from him, you were giving him a piece of it!
I didnt give Darroc a piece of anything! Get back from what, where? Being dead?
A woman doesnt rub herself up against a man like that unless shes fucking him.
You dont know the first thing about what I was and wasnt doing. Ever heard of going undercover? Sleeping with the enemy?
I think you should be king, Darroc, he mocked in falsetto, and if you want me, I would be honored to be your queen.
I gaped.
Isnt that what you said?
What were you doingspying on me? And if youre Barrons, you know better than to believe words.
Because your actions speak so well of you, do they? Where did you sleep last night, Ms. Lane? It wasnt here. My bookstore was wide open. Your bedroom was upstairs waiting. So was your fucking honor.
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Honor? Barrons was flinging the word honor at me? Er actually, the Sinsar Dubh was. I couldnt decide which was more anachronistic. I frowned. There was something wrong here. Something was very, very off. Although Barrons and honor werent two words Id think to use together in a sentence, I couldnt come up with a single reason for the Sinsar Dubh to pull this kind of stunt. It had never inflicted such a prolonged and detailed illusion on me before. I could see nothing it might gain by doing it.
Do you know why I was in the street with you and Darroc tonight? When I didnt reply, he snarled, Answer me!
I shook my head.
I wasnt there to spy on you and your little boyfriend. Speaking of which, whats it like to slurp down your sisters sloppy seconds?
Oh, fuck you, I said instantly. Thats low even for you.
You havent seen anything yet. I came to kill him tonight. I should have done it a long time ago. But I didnt get that pleasure. The Sinsar Dubh beat me to it, he said bitterly.
Enough already. You are the Sinsar Dubh!
Hardly. But Im every bit as deadly. We can both destroy you. Nothing can save you from me if I turn on you.
It was past time for this illusion to end. The only reason Id let it go on this long was because it had begun enjoyably and Id kept hoping it might turn around. But whatever bizarre game the Book was playing, it wasnt going to play nice, and this icy, sneering Barrons wasnt the man I wanted to remember.
Time for you to go now, I muttered.
Im not going anywhere. Ever. If you think for one minute Ill let you flip sides mid-game, youre wrong. Im invested. Youre in too deep. You owe me. I will chain you up, tie you down, leash you with magic, whatever I have to do, but you will help me get that Book. And when Ive got it, I might let you live.
Youre the Sinsar Dubh, I said again, but my protest was weak. While hed been talking, Id sought my sidhe-seer centerthat all-seeing eye that can rip away illusion and reveal the truth beneath itand Id focused it like a laser on the mirage.
Nothing had happened. No bubble had burst, no mirage had fractured. My hands were shaking. I couldnt get enough air into my lungs.
It wasnt possible.
Id killed him.
And when Id realized what Id done, Id channeled my grief into a weapon of mass destruction. Id made a plan, with a set-in-cement past and a concrete future.
This this inexplicability didnt fit anywhere in my understanding of reality. Not with any of my goals, not with what Id become.
But then again, I might not, he said. Unlike some people, I dont do sloppy seconds.
I inhaled sharply. I was growing dangerously light-headed. It couldnt be. He was not actually standing there.
Was he?
It looked like Barrons, felt like Barrons, smelled and sounded like Barrons, and certainly had his attitude.
Screw my sidhe-seer center. I needed juice. And I knew where to find it. I let my gaze drift out of focus and frantically sucked raw power from my glassy lake.
Refocusing again, I turned everything I had on the figment.
Show me the truth, I commanded, and blasted it to bits.
You wouldnt know the truth if it bit you in the ass, Ms. Lane. Case in point: It just did. He gave me that wolf smile, but it didnt hold an ounce of charm. It was all teeth, reminding me of fangs against my skin.
My knees gave out.
Jericho Barrons was still standing there.
Towering, naked, and pissed off as hell, hands fisted as if he was about to beat the crap out of me.
He gave me a look that said, Oh, honey, of course they can. Have you forgotten so quickly?
I was Pri-ya!
And I liked you much better then! His eyes narrowed as if hed only finally processed something Id said earlier. Ive been dead for you for only three bloody days? And you already had Darroc up against my wall out back two nights ago? You waited one fucking day to line up my replacement? I spent weeks worrying about whether he would scrape my brand off your skull and I wouldnt be able to track you in the Silvers. The entire time I was trying to get back to save your ass from him, you were giving him a piece of it!
I didnt give Darroc a piece of anything! Get back from what, where? Being dead?
A woman doesnt rub herself up against a man like that unless shes fucking him.
You dont know the first thing about what I was and wasnt doing. Ever heard of going undercover? Sleeping with the enemy?
I think you should be king, Darroc, he mocked in falsetto, and if you want me, I would be honored to be your queen.
I gaped.
Isnt that what you said?
What were you doingspying on me? And if youre Barrons, you know better than to believe words.
Because your actions speak so well of you, do they? Where did you sleep last night, Ms. Lane? It wasnt here. My bookstore was wide open. Your bedroom was upstairs waiting. So was your fucking honor.
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Honor? Barrons was flinging the word honor at me? Er actually, the Sinsar Dubh was. I couldnt decide which was more anachronistic. I frowned. There was something wrong here. Something was very, very off. Although Barrons and honor werent two words Id think to use together in a sentence, I couldnt come up with a single reason for the Sinsar Dubh to pull this kind of stunt. It had never inflicted such a prolonged and detailed illusion on me before. I could see nothing it might gain by doing it.
Do you know why I was in the street with you and Darroc tonight? When I didnt reply, he snarled, Answer me!
I shook my head.
I wasnt there to spy on you and your little boyfriend. Speaking of which, whats it like to slurp down your sisters sloppy seconds?
Oh, fuck you, I said instantly. Thats low even for you.
You havent seen anything yet. I came to kill him tonight. I should have done it a long time ago. But I didnt get that pleasure. The Sinsar Dubh beat me to it, he said bitterly.
Enough already. You are the Sinsar Dubh!
Hardly. But Im every bit as deadly. We can both destroy you. Nothing can save you from me if I turn on you.
It was past time for this illusion to end. The only reason Id let it go on this long was because it had begun enjoyably and Id kept hoping it might turn around. But whatever bizarre game the Book was playing, it wasnt going to play nice, and this icy, sneering Barrons wasnt the man I wanted to remember.
Time for you to go now, I muttered.
Im not going anywhere. Ever. If you think for one minute Ill let you flip sides mid-game, youre wrong. Im invested. Youre in too deep. You owe me. I will chain you up, tie you down, leash you with magic, whatever I have to do, but you will help me get that Book. And when Ive got it, I might let you live.
Youre the Sinsar Dubh, I said again, but my protest was weak. While hed been talking, Id sought my sidhe-seer centerthat all-seeing eye that can rip away illusion and reveal the truth beneath itand Id focused it like a laser on the mirage.
Nothing had happened. No bubble had burst, no mirage had fractured. My hands were shaking. I couldnt get enough air into my lungs.
It wasnt possible.
Id killed him.
And when Id realized what Id done, Id channeled my grief into a weapon of mass destruction. Id made a plan, with a set-in-cement past and a concrete future.
This this inexplicability didnt fit anywhere in my understanding of reality. Not with any of my goals, not with what Id become.
But then again, I might not, he said. Unlike some people, I dont do sloppy seconds.
I inhaled sharply. I was growing dangerously light-headed. It couldnt be. He was not actually standing there.
Was he?
It looked like Barrons, felt like Barrons, smelled and sounded like Barrons, and certainly had his attitude.
Screw my sidhe-seer center. I needed juice. And I knew where to find it. I let my gaze drift out of focus and frantically sucked raw power from my glassy lake.
Refocusing again, I turned everything I had on the figment.
Show me the truth, I commanded, and blasted it to bits.
You wouldnt know the truth if it bit you in the ass, Ms. Lane. Case in point: It just did. He gave me that wolf smile, but it didnt hold an ounce of charm. It was all teeth, reminding me of fangs against my skin.
My knees gave out.
Jericho Barrons was still standing there.
Towering, naked, and pissed off as hell, hands fisted as if he was about to beat the crap out of me.
