Shadows in the Silence
Page 54
The backs of his fingers grazed my cheek. “I want to wake up like this every day,” he said.
My body warmed all the way down to my toes and I smiled at him. He pulled me down to him and kissed me gently, his hands working their magic. I broke away and brushed my nose across his cheek. He looked at me and thumbed my chin.
“How are you?” he asked, his voice soft and serious. “How do you feel?”
I brushed his hair up off his forehead so that it stuck out messily, but adorably. “Wonderful. Amazing. Beautiful.”
“Are you happy?”
I smiled, leaned over him, and kissed him again, slow this time. “I have never been happier.”
He smiled back. “I love you, Ellie. I don’t want to let go of this moment. I want to be lost in you forever.”
I settled back into the bed and curled up against him, resting my cheek on his chest. “I wish we could stay here and let the world go on without us. I wish we could be normal.”
He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me closer. “Without us, the world won’t go on at all. When all of this is over, we’ll be able to breathe. I promise. And you know I don’t break my promises.”
“I know,” I said. I traced his lips with my fingertips and he kissed them.
We drifted in and out of sleep until the sun rose and bathed the room in golden light. As much as I’d have loved to lie in bed all day, my growling stomach was very demanding and very vocal about its needs. I dragged myself out from under the sheets to dress myself, feeling the butterflies again and totally aware he could see all of me. I tugged on my shorts and pulled my tank over my head, glancing back at Will, who watched me. I bit my lip, unable to stop myself from thinking about how incredible he looked lying there.
“I want breakfast, but you are too tempting,” I told him.
He grinned. “We have all day, you know.”
A warm rush fluttered in my stomach and I had to force myself to leave his room. I prodded around the kitchen and decided that today was a pancakes day. It wasn’t long before Will joined me in the kitchen, pretending to be curious about the griddle I’d started to heat up. As I mixed the pancake batter at the counter, he stepped up close behind me, pressing his body against my back and dipping his head over my shoulder. His lips brushed my neck and his hands squeezed my hips.
“Will…”
“I like kitchens, don’t you?”
I laughed and wiggled away from him, bowl in hand. “I’m trying to make you food here. I’m not domestic in the slightest, so you should cherish this.”
He expression became somewhat serious. “Always.”
Understanding the other meaning in his response, I closed the distance between us and kissed him before returning to the counter to finish. I sprinkled cinnamon into the batter and dropped globs of the pancake goo onto the griddle. As I cooked breakfast and joked around with Will, it was such a relief not to worry about anything for a few minutes. It felt like we hadn’t had a break in so long.
I finished my breakfast, took my plate to the sink, and returned to the table. I stopped next to Will’s seat and he looked up at me with a curious look. I climbed onto his lap, a leg on either side of him, and I draped my arms over his shoulders. My sly grin matched his.
“Hello,” I said.
His grin widened and his hands fell on my waist. “Hello. Can I help you?”
I cupped his face and kissed him, not failing to notice there was something different in my kiss. He seemed to notice it too. There was a casual ease in my kiss, a lack of any lingering shyness or doubt between us. I could now kiss him in the way I’d dreamed of kissing him, letting him know exactly how much I wanted him without feeling like it was wrong to do so. There was this intense sense of freedom in our touch, no reason to hold back anymore. And it was incredible.
He took hold of my thighs and stood, kissing me as he carried me upstairs.
16
A GROUP MEMORIAL SERVICE WOULD BE HELD AT the high school for all of the teens killed at Josie’s house. I made it a goal to scout leads on possible locations of the Pentalpha before the service, and we would act the day after. I knew I had a special connection with the relic since I was the one who made it and I’d likely be able to sense its energy. That would be very helpful once the search began.
I didn’t get the chance to hang out with Kate before the memorial service and/or tell her about what had happened between Will and me. Every time I thought about it, I found myself biting my lip and feeling those unbidden butterflies. I knew that conversation would warrant a sleepover and long girl talk. Kate and I had so much to say to each other before I left.
The candlelight memorial brought a somber mood to the recently graduated teens and their families. My smiles from the past couple of days couldn’t have shielded my heart from the sadness that overwhelmed me when I returned to my high school for the first time since commencement. I sat with Kate, Chris, Rachel, and Evan among the rest of my former classmates in the football field beneath the endless night sky, and Landon’s absence was heartbreakingly noticeable. In my hands, I held one of the roses he had given me for my seventeenth birthday that my mom had dried for me. She had always loved drying flowers. In a way, this rose was for both of them. There were several faces I looked for but did not see, and the missingness that was felt in all of us was a low, heavy, suffocating cloud. There was no way to explain how strange it was for everyone to be so sad when the last time we were here and all together, we had felt nothing but pure joy and excitement.
My body warmed all the way down to my toes and I smiled at him. He pulled me down to him and kissed me gently, his hands working their magic. I broke away and brushed my nose across his cheek. He looked at me and thumbed my chin.
“How are you?” he asked, his voice soft and serious. “How do you feel?”
I brushed his hair up off his forehead so that it stuck out messily, but adorably. “Wonderful. Amazing. Beautiful.”
“Are you happy?”
I smiled, leaned over him, and kissed him again, slow this time. “I have never been happier.”
He smiled back. “I love you, Ellie. I don’t want to let go of this moment. I want to be lost in you forever.”
I settled back into the bed and curled up against him, resting my cheek on his chest. “I wish we could stay here and let the world go on without us. I wish we could be normal.”
He wrapped his arms around me and tugged me closer. “Without us, the world won’t go on at all. When all of this is over, we’ll be able to breathe. I promise. And you know I don’t break my promises.”
“I know,” I said. I traced his lips with my fingertips and he kissed them.
We drifted in and out of sleep until the sun rose and bathed the room in golden light. As much as I’d have loved to lie in bed all day, my growling stomach was very demanding and very vocal about its needs. I dragged myself out from under the sheets to dress myself, feeling the butterflies again and totally aware he could see all of me. I tugged on my shorts and pulled my tank over my head, glancing back at Will, who watched me. I bit my lip, unable to stop myself from thinking about how incredible he looked lying there.
“I want breakfast, but you are too tempting,” I told him.
He grinned. “We have all day, you know.”
A warm rush fluttered in my stomach and I had to force myself to leave his room. I prodded around the kitchen and decided that today was a pancakes day. It wasn’t long before Will joined me in the kitchen, pretending to be curious about the griddle I’d started to heat up. As I mixed the pancake batter at the counter, he stepped up close behind me, pressing his body against my back and dipping his head over my shoulder. His lips brushed my neck and his hands squeezed my hips.
“Will…”
“I like kitchens, don’t you?”
I laughed and wiggled away from him, bowl in hand. “I’m trying to make you food here. I’m not domestic in the slightest, so you should cherish this.”
He expression became somewhat serious. “Always.”
Understanding the other meaning in his response, I closed the distance between us and kissed him before returning to the counter to finish. I sprinkled cinnamon into the batter and dropped globs of the pancake goo onto the griddle. As I cooked breakfast and joked around with Will, it was such a relief not to worry about anything for a few minutes. It felt like we hadn’t had a break in so long.
I finished my breakfast, took my plate to the sink, and returned to the table. I stopped next to Will’s seat and he looked up at me with a curious look. I climbed onto his lap, a leg on either side of him, and I draped my arms over his shoulders. My sly grin matched his.
“Hello,” I said.
His grin widened and his hands fell on my waist. “Hello. Can I help you?”
I cupped his face and kissed him, not failing to notice there was something different in my kiss. He seemed to notice it too. There was a casual ease in my kiss, a lack of any lingering shyness or doubt between us. I could now kiss him in the way I’d dreamed of kissing him, letting him know exactly how much I wanted him without feeling like it was wrong to do so. There was this intense sense of freedom in our touch, no reason to hold back anymore. And it was incredible.
He took hold of my thighs and stood, kissing me as he carried me upstairs.
16
A GROUP MEMORIAL SERVICE WOULD BE HELD AT the high school for all of the teens killed at Josie’s house. I made it a goal to scout leads on possible locations of the Pentalpha before the service, and we would act the day after. I knew I had a special connection with the relic since I was the one who made it and I’d likely be able to sense its energy. That would be very helpful once the search began.
I didn’t get the chance to hang out with Kate before the memorial service and/or tell her about what had happened between Will and me. Every time I thought about it, I found myself biting my lip and feeling those unbidden butterflies. I knew that conversation would warrant a sleepover and long girl talk. Kate and I had so much to say to each other before I left.
The candlelight memorial brought a somber mood to the recently graduated teens and their families. My smiles from the past couple of days couldn’t have shielded my heart from the sadness that overwhelmed me when I returned to my high school for the first time since commencement. I sat with Kate, Chris, Rachel, and Evan among the rest of my former classmates in the football field beneath the endless night sky, and Landon’s absence was heartbreakingly noticeable. In my hands, I held one of the roses he had given me for my seventeenth birthday that my mom had dried for me. She had always loved drying flowers. In a way, this rose was for both of them. There were several faces I looked for but did not see, and the missingness that was felt in all of us was a low, heavy, suffocating cloud. There was no way to explain how strange it was for everyone to be so sad when the last time we were here and all together, we had felt nothing but pure joy and excitement.
