Shadows in the Silence
Page 98
“Ellie,” Ethan called up to me, practically yelling over the rushing of wind through the church. “Ellie! Your necklace! Break it and free your grace!”
I yanked on the pendant, snapping the clasp apart, but I didn’t get the chance to chuck it at the stone floor. It shattered on its own in my palm in a flash of light and instead of dispersing, that light—my grace—collected itself like a sentient thing and clung to me, my clothes, my hair, spreading over my body and sinking into my skin.
“Oh my God,” I breathed. “Shut your eyes, Ethan. Shut your eyes!”
Something inside of me exploded and the erupting light was bright enough to fry human retinas from their sockets. My glory and grace devoured me, changed me, filled me with a sensation that I’d long forgotten. There was an intense warmth all around me and then it turned to heat, to a blinding heat that seared the edges of my clothing. Pieces burned off and were blown away. My hair was a tornado of fire around my body. My shoulder blades tingled and became numb and I swore I glimpsed a feather fall to the floor.
Then I felt nothing. Saw nothing. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed like that in the whiteness, but that eternity ended in an instant. The fire and light vanished, and the candles blew out, drenching the cathedral in darkness. My toes touched the floor, boots silent on stone, and my hair settled around me. My shoulders were no longer numb, but they felt heavy with the weight of my wings.
“Her eyes,” the human murmured as I passed him. “They’re solid gold. She’s ascended.”
My Guardian stared at me, lips parted, and he took a step forward to follow me. “Ellie?”
I stopped. The feathers from my wings brushed the floor, lucent feathers the color of moonlight with just a breath of gold, and I picked them up, folding them against my back. “I am not Ellie.”
His mouth clamped shut, his jaw clenching. I saw these things, recognized the pain on his face, but I felt nothing in return.
I continued walking toward the sanctuary doors. “I am Gabriel.”
31
“ELLIE!” MY GUARDIAN SHOUTED AT ME, BUT I didn’t stop. “Gabriel! Where are you going?”
I ignored him and continued through the crowds celebrating the Festival of Light. Few humans failed to notice me, but I suspected that was because I had not yet withdrawn my wings. I would need to take to the air soon.
Jerusalem had changed since I’d last seen it with my archangel eyes. I remembered passing through here just this evening in my human form—I remembered everything—but experiencing these neon streets now was different. I remembered thinking the displays of light were beautiful, but now I asked myself what had made these lights beautiful? I wasn’t sure I even understood what “beautiful” meant.
My Guardian made an angry sound as he pushed through the crowd to catch up with me. “Ellie, God damn it—”
“I accept your presence, Guardian,” I told him as I watched several women wearing white dresses threaded with tubes of light whirl around us in the street. “But I am in no danger.”
“You accept me?” he hissed. He grabbed my arm and yanked me around and into his chest.
I twisted my arm until his bent the wrong way and he cried out, but I grabbed his wrist with my free hand before he could let go. His knees buckled and hit the ground. “How dare you touch me, Earthling?” I snarled, baring teeth.
He gaped up at me. He did not seem to understand that he was only a reaper. I remembered…I remembered that he had touched me before, that I had let him, that I had…But I was an archangel now. I was not to be touched.
“Hey,” said a meek voice to our right. It belonged to a young man who stared at my charred clothing and gigantic wings. He seemed to accept that I was part of the show. “Is there a problem here?”
I released my Guardian and waved a hand, shoving my power into the human’s chest and blowing him away from me. He toppled through the crowd with a cry, taking down a light display with him.
“Ellie!” Will shouted at me in anger. When I looked at my Guardian, I saw the revulsion in his green eyes. “What are you doing?”
I continued on my way. He shouted my human name behind me as he fought to catch up. I scanned the tops of the buildings around me and spotted the Dome of the Rock. I spread my wings and they carried me into the air. I flew fast, moving as a ball of fire, a falling star, and I settled at the top of the golden dome and spread my wings to help keep my balance. I inhaled the cool night air alive with the heady scents of Jerusalem. I was not supposed to breathe. I had ascended and become an archangel, but this body…I was still partially human.
My Guardian dropped less gracefully onto the dome. His boots slipped and his wings folded into his back. “Ellie, what the hell? You just bolted. Are you okay? How do you feel?”
He caught my attention and I stared at him, my hair whipping around my head. “I do not understand your questions.”
“Oh no,” he said sorrowfully. “Don’t let this be real.”
“I empathize with your attachment—”
“You what?” His body rocked gently in the wind. “Who are you?”
“You know who I am.”
He shook his head, his anger clear. “You are not my Ellie.”
“No, I am not,” I said. “Not in the way you knew me.” I slid down the side of the dome and leaped onto the flat roof.
He followed me, jumping down to return to my side. “But she’s in there. She’s a part of you.”
I yanked on the pendant, snapping the clasp apart, but I didn’t get the chance to chuck it at the stone floor. It shattered on its own in my palm in a flash of light and instead of dispersing, that light—my grace—collected itself like a sentient thing and clung to me, my clothes, my hair, spreading over my body and sinking into my skin.
“Oh my God,” I breathed. “Shut your eyes, Ethan. Shut your eyes!”
Something inside of me exploded and the erupting light was bright enough to fry human retinas from their sockets. My glory and grace devoured me, changed me, filled me with a sensation that I’d long forgotten. There was an intense warmth all around me and then it turned to heat, to a blinding heat that seared the edges of my clothing. Pieces burned off and were blown away. My hair was a tornado of fire around my body. My shoulder blades tingled and became numb and I swore I glimpsed a feather fall to the floor.
Then I felt nothing. Saw nothing. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed like that in the whiteness, but that eternity ended in an instant. The fire and light vanished, and the candles blew out, drenching the cathedral in darkness. My toes touched the floor, boots silent on stone, and my hair settled around me. My shoulders were no longer numb, but they felt heavy with the weight of my wings.
“Her eyes,” the human murmured as I passed him. “They’re solid gold. She’s ascended.”
My Guardian stared at me, lips parted, and he took a step forward to follow me. “Ellie?”
I stopped. The feathers from my wings brushed the floor, lucent feathers the color of moonlight with just a breath of gold, and I picked them up, folding them against my back. “I am not Ellie.”
His mouth clamped shut, his jaw clenching. I saw these things, recognized the pain on his face, but I felt nothing in return.
I continued walking toward the sanctuary doors. “I am Gabriel.”
31
“ELLIE!” MY GUARDIAN SHOUTED AT ME, BUT I didn’t stop. “Gabriel! Where are you going?”
I ignored him and continued through the crowds celebrating the Festival of Light. Few humans failed to notice me, but I suspected that was because I had not yet withdrawn my wings. I would need to take to the air soon.
Jerusalem had changed since I’d last seen it with my archangel eyes. I remembered passing through here just this evening in my human form—I remembered everything—but experiencing these neon streets now was different. I remembered thinking the displays of light were beautiful, but now I asked myself what had made these lights beautiful? I wasn’t sure I even understood what “beautiful” meant.
My Guardian made an angry sound as he pushed through the crowd to catch up with me. “Ellie, God damn it—”
“I accept your presence, Guardian,” I told him as I watched several women wearing white dresses threaded with tubes of light whirl around us in the street. “But I am in no danger.”
“You accept me?” he hissed. He grabbed my arm and yanked me around and into his chest.
I twisted my arm until his bent the wrong way and he cried out, but I grabbed his wrist with my free hand before he could let go. His knees buckled and hit the ground. “How dare you touch me, Earthling?” I snarled, baring teeth.
He gaped up at me. He did not seem to understand that he was only a reaper. I remembered…I remembered that he had touched me before, that I had let him, that I had…But I was an archangel now. I was not to be touched.
“Hey,” said a meek voice to our right. It belonged to a young man who stared at my charred clothing and gigantic wings. He seemed to accept that I was part of the show. “Is there a problem here?”
I released my Guardian and waved a hand, shoving my power into the human’s chest and blowing him away from me. He toppled through the crowd with a cry, taking down a light display with him.
“Ellie!” Will shouted at me in anger. When I looked at my Guardian, I saw the revulsion in his green eyes. “What are you doing?”
I continued on my way. He shouted my human name behind me as he fought to catch up. I scanned the tops of the buildings around me and spotted the Dome of the Rock. I spread my wings and they carried me into the air. I flew fast, moving as a ball of fire, a falling star, and I settled at the top of the golden dome and spread my wings to help keep my balance. I inhaled the cool night air alive with the heady scents of Jerusalem. I was not supposed to breathe. I had ascended and become an archangel, but this body…I was still partially human.
My Guardian dropped less gracefully onto the dome. His boots slipped and his wings folded into his back. “Ellie, what the hell? You just bolted. Are you okay? How do you feel?”
He caught my attention and I stared at him, my hair whipping around my head. “I do not understand your questions.”
“Oh no,” he said sorrowfully. “Don’t let this be real.”
“I empathize with your attachment—”
“You what?” His body rocked gently in the wind. “Who are you?”
“You know who I am.”
He shook his head, his anger clear. “You are not my Ellie.”
“No, I am not,” I said. “Not in the way you knew me.” I slid down the side of the dome and leaped onto the flat roof.
He followed me, jumping down to return to my side. “But she’s in there. She’s a part of you.”
